Requests That Get You What You Want


requestSignRequesting-101:
Surprisingly easy to Ace — even easier to flunk

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Advocacy Series
in support of the Coaching Skills Series

Please Read This Article Now

The heading above is a clear and clean example of a request — there’s nuthin’ fuzzy about it!

  1. It’s short
  2. It asks directly for what it wants
  3. It’s respectful — and includes the magic word
    (“please” – for those of you who didn’t have that kind of upbringing)
  4. And it is clear about the time-frame expectation.

It is truly a request, not a manipulation attempt.

In no way is it:

  • nagging or pleading
  • shaming or complaining
  • explaining or justifying
  • intimidating or threatening

Nor is it gift-wrapped in emotional subtext

There is no:

  • anger
  • frustration
  • disappointment
  • pouting
  • or any other emotional technique most of us tend to pull out when we are hoping to get what we want

As a result, it does not automatically activate emotional reactions like:

  • hurt feelings and defensiveness
  • pleas for exceptions or understanding
  • resistance or opposition
  • angry retorts or the urge to argue

It also makes itself ridiculously easy for the person on the responding end to consider, because it is it clear what’s expected if s/he responds affirmatively.

Responding to a request

There are only three ways a person can respond to a request:

  1. YES – in which case the expectation is that they will do it
  2. NO – we all know the pros and cons of that one
  3. MAYBE/IF – renegotiating the task or the time-frame

What seems to trip people up emotionally is the lack of the realization or acceptance of the First Codicil of Requesting.

Requesting: First Codicil

If any one of the three potential responses
is not an acceptable possibility,
you are making a
DEMANDNOT making a request —
(no matter how sweet your tone of voice)

The rest of this article will continue to expand on the request process — in a lot more words with a lot more examples — and will make a strong link between messing up the request process and all kinds of life struggles and relationship troubles.

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The Gluten Sensitivity Summit Speakers Schedule


ADDendum: WORLD’S FIRST
GLUTEN SUMMIT

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Self-Health Series

click image for source

click image for source

Quickie Update:

Below is the list of speakers who will be presenting for FREE during the online Gluten Sensitivity Summit.

And it’s NOT too late to register below. 

Although you will have to purchase the downloads if you want to hear the days you’ve missed – as you’ll see in the Speaker Schedule below, there’s still A LOT more to come you can access for free.

If this is the first you are reading about why YOU might be interested in attending this amazing Summit (which began on Monday, November 11th and will continue daily until the following Monday)  — CLICK HERE for my introductory article & registration link.

The rest of you already know about this comprehensive collection of experts sharing the latest gluten-related information, generous enough to give us all what amounts to a free one-hour consultation.

Summit organizer Dr. Tom O’Bryan of TheDr.com asks the questions we would ask if we were there. — with new content available for free, every day for a solid 8 days — through Monday, November 18th, 2013. 

If you registered when I first announced the Summit, you listened for free from the very beginning.

BUT DON’T WORRY – the cost to download the complete set of ALL the sessions – either before they actually air or after the fact – is among the most reasonable of any Summit I’ve ever attended: video, audio and transcript all for one low price, by the way.

  • For those of you have already signed up – please take this as a reminder to continue spreading the word. SHARE with your social networks (buttons below) or reblog. Like I said in the last Gluten Summit post — it doesn’t cost a dime to become known as a resource!
  • If you know all about it, but haven’t registered YET, jump on it!

CLICK HERE
for the Gluten Sensitivity Summit registration page
& more information

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More info on the free Gluten Sensitivity Summit


WORLD’S FIRST GLUTEN SUMMIT
Possibly LIFE changing?

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Self-Health Series

click image for source

click image for source

Did you register?

If this is the first you are reading about why YOU might be interested in attending this amazing Summit (beginning on November 11th, 2013)  — CLICK HERE for my introductory article & registration link.

The rest of you already know about this comprehensive collection of experts sharing the latest gluten-related information, willing to spill their guts for free during an ongoing, recorded Summit of interviews — with new content posted every day for a solid week — beginning on November 11th, 2013. 

SAY WHAT? Give up grains! Are you NUTS?!!

Hold that thought just long enough for me to give you the registration information and links – then I’ll let you in on MY thinking in this regard.

If you get in at the very beginning, you can listen for free.  But don’t worry – the cost to download the sessions – either before they actually air or after the fact – is among the most reasonable of any Summit I’ve attended.

  • Some of you have already signed up – so take this as a reminder to continue spreading the word. SHARE and reblog – it doesn’t cost a dime to become known as a resource!
  • If you know all about it, but haven’t registered YET, there’s still time.

CLICK HERE
for the Gluten Sensitivity Summit registration page
& more information

Read more of this post

November Summit on Gluten Sensitivity – No Charge!


WORLD’S FIRST GLUTEN SUMMIT
Could it Change your LIFE?

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Self-Health Series

What’s eating you just might be what you’re eating!

no-gluten-symbolDr. Charles Parker (The New ADHD Medication Rules) just sent me an email with a link — to make sure I didn’t miss the chance to learn what experts working in the field have to say about gluten sensitivity.

Apparently there’s an amazing Summit of experts in
gluten-related research willing to spill their guts
– November 11 through November 17 –
online, thanks to the wonders of the internet!
(registration link below)

 I decided to post the registration information here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com so that you have a chance to find out what all the shoutin’s about concerning gluten sensitivity right along with me.

Gluten, for those of you who are unclear, is a protein found in wheat, barley and rye.

WHAT? Give up grains! Are you NUTS?!!

I know – it sounds crazy, right? Isn’t bread supposed to be the staff of life?

Yet I’ve heard a lot about the increasing number of problems doctors in-the-know are finding that have been traced back to gluten sensitivities.  Some of these include life-long health issues that cleared right up when gluten was eliminated from the diet of those who were suffering.

At a recent conference, I also heard some amazing stories from colleagues who’ve gone gluten-free — and they looked GREAT, btw! (which means younger and thinner, with clear eyes and glowing complexions, to name four)

Still . . . give up grains? 

  • No toast – cereal, cakes, cookies?  Can one even live without pasta?!!
  • Maybe this idea is a bit extreme – perhaps another wonder-diet of the moment?

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My Top Ten Tips to Improve the Quality of Your Care


HOW to give feedback to Doctors & Therapists
that will increase your odds of
getting what you need

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Foundational Concepts in the Self-advocacy Series
Improving the Quality of Your Care Part II

Excellent FeedbackFeedback is Essential

Continuing with the theme begun in an earlier article, In Praise of Complainers: Reframing Complaining, where I underscored the importance of feedback to getting our needs met when things were NOT hunky-dorythis article wraps up the focus on getting our needs met with our care providers, begun in Part-I of this article.

HOW we provide feedback – and to whom – makes a difference.

After a quick review of a few important ideas from Part-I, I will expand on the ideas begin there, chunked into a listing of my Top Ten Tips — developed through over 20 years of working with ADD/EFD clients.

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Improving the Quality of Your Care


Don’t make your Doctors “guess”

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Foundational Concepts in the Self-advocacy Series
Improving the Quality of Your Care – Part 1 of 2

ComplaintHorseComplaint vs Feedback

In an earlier article, In Praise of Complainers-Reframing Complaining, I underscored the importance of feedback to getting our needs met — that, without our negative feedback, the rational assumption is that “all is well.”

If that’s not the case, I went on to say, we MUST “complain” if we ever expect more functionality and life satisfaction than we have right now.  HOWEVER . . .

HOW we provide feedback – and to whom – makes a difference.

This portion of the Self-advocacy Series will begin to take a look at how to provide effective feedback to your care providers.

Read more of this post

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