10 Simple Coaching Questions to Consider


10-Step Coaching – NOT just for ADD
Things to think about that can give you a Brand New LIFE

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another coaching article for Counseling Awareness Month
Reflections: edited reposting


Begin with a pen, pencil
(or crayon!) and a pad of your favorite paper — or your favorite software on your computer (whatever you believe works best for YOU – but I promise it will work best for your brain to do it on paper).

Find a comfortable place to perch
while you meander through the ten items below.

I promised you simple – but not easy – so plan on spending 30-45 minutes or longer – as much time as you can spare, but don’t try to squeeze it all in between activities and interruptions. You need to get into a thinking space and stay there, even if that means you take it in segments.

FIRST, gather everything you are going to need
so you’re not tempting to wander away mid-process:

  • Something to write with – and on – or
  • Whatever electronic toy you swear works better for you
  • Something to drink
  • Maybe something to snack on while you work

Adjust your clothing, if you need to.  Unfasten anything that needs to be looser. Kick off your shoes if you feel like it.  Squirm around until you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Take several d-e-e-p breaths, exhaling slowly, while you think about your life as it is RIGHT NOW, before you work your way through the list below.

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10 Organizing Principles for the Organizationally Impaired


NOT Your Mama’s Organization

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
In support of the Challenges Inventory™ & ADD Coaching Series
my edited reposting of a five year old article

If at first you don’t succeed . . .

I know.  I’m right there with you.  You’ve read all the books and made a good stab at following their advice, and you still live in what might affectionately be called a pig stye if only it were that neat.

Give it up!

Those books were NOT written for you and me.  They were written for fundamentally organized people with relatively reliable follow-through skills and abilities.

They simply needed a little how-to help and advice.

I don’t work their way.
Do YOU work their way?

How DO you work?

If you don’t get real about how you work, you will never be able to determine what YOU need to do to to keep from spending half your life looking for things that were “right here a minute ago” — and the other half tripping over dirt and detritus.

As I began in an even earlier post (ADD & Organized?) . . .

Yea verily, even YOU can learn to be organized
just as soon as you understand
the reasons why you’ve been stopped in the past.  

Those of us who struggle with any of what are referred to as Executive Functions work a bit differently than those neurotypical folks.  We do not have vanilla-flavored brains.  We’re more like the ice cream with the mix-ins.  Our stoppers are not their stoppers.

HERE’S the KICKER: it’s a different mix of stoppers for every single one of us.  

So much for helpful hints and tidy lists!  

That said, I’m going to go w-a-a-y out on a limb by offering my top ten organizing principles that I now call, collectively, The Executive Functioning Organizing Manifesto — a summary of some basic concepts that need to be embraced and understood if you want to have a shot at working out what you need to do for YOU to be organized.

In future posts in this series, I will expand on some of the points below.
For NOW, print ’em out and hang ’em up and follow them!

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September Song


Time to Get New Notebooks
(And ready the Fall Clothing!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Swan Song for Summer!!

It’s still summer-hot here, but in a week or two we’ll have a few cool days in a row when I will have a brain again – harbingers of sweater weather.

For me, the year really begins in September, despite the fact that, except for the TeleClasses I offer, my official school days are a fond but distant memory.  As the leaves expire in a final burst of glory, I become eager to plan what I will do with nine months when I have drive and follow-through.

I realize that not everyone shares my loves of brisker weather, however.

If you’re a warm weather fan you’ll find your tribe on LuckyOttersHaven‘s patch of blog-heaven in 12 Reasons Why I Don’t Like Autumn.

She posts again (if a tad grudgingly), in 8 Good Things about Fall — some of which I celebrate as well, like the end of flea and fly season, so I won’t relist them in my own List of Ten.

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site,
they’re subtle (scroll DOWN for it) ==>

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Ten Products that help me manage LIFE


10 Products that help me manage my bodacious ADD Challenges

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

A drawing of a woman surrounded by stuff - a rocking horse, a floor lamp, a trunk, a bowl & pitcher, a painting - wearing a hat with a price tag still attached
As I continue to say on these Top-10 Product posts:

Anybody who’s spent much time with very many ADDers knows how attached some of us can get to our stuff.

Regardless of how you might feel about that particular quirk of personality, ya’ gotta’ admit, those of us who are stuff-obsessed know our products!

If you are musing about Christmas Presents Yet To Come, some of the items in this particular listing just might jumpstart your thinking.

Click over to my first list of Top Ten Products for more detail about those, but let me START with a quick review of my second ten here.

Ten MORE Things
I wouldn’t want to have to live without
(click HERE for descriptions & to read why)

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Top Ten LOUSY Product Designs & other nutsy things


Doesn’t Anybody TEST Anymore?
(or maybe they don’t use their own stuff?)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Top Ten Series

TEN of my [least] Favorite Things

A drawing of a woman surrounded by stuff - a rocking horse, a floor lamp, a trunk, a bowl & pitcher, a painting - wearing a hat with a price tag still attached
Life is frustrating enough for those of us with Alphabet Disorders (ADD / EFD / TBI / OCD / etc)

It’s adding insult to injury to expect us to PAY for lousy design that makes things harder still.

We can’t even boycott most of the time, because there are so few alternatives.  Whatever happened to “Form follows FUNCTION????”

Hate to be a hater, but . . .

COME ON! It simply can’t be the GOAL to frustrate the @#$& out of one’s customer base, or can it?

Scroll on down to check out what makes ME crazy (er!) — and I know I’m not the only one.  Let’s all get together and hang the perpetrators in effigy.

JUST in case you are starting to think I am getting grumpy in my old age, you can always jump over to my list of Top Ten Products I wouldn’t want to live without.  (I also say nice things in MORE Top Ten Products)

Down below – in the comments section – add your own “favorite” hatefuls – after you’ve primed your pump by reading about ten of mine.

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MORE Top Ten Products I wouldn’t want to live without


TEN MORE of my Favorite Things

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

A drawing of a woman surrounded by stuff - a rocking horse, a floor lamp, a trunk, a bowl & pitcher, a painting - wearing a hat with a price tag still attached
Anybody who’s spent much time with very many ADDers knows how attached some of us can get to our stuff. Regardless of how you might feel about that particular quirk of personality, ya’ gotta’ admit, those of us who are stuff-obsessed know our products!
Read more of this post

The Top Ten Things about Top Ten Lists


Listing what I love about LISTS!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

As I said on the “Top Ten” Intro post, ABOUT the Top Tens:

Top Ten Lists are pretty much what they sound like —

Quickie sketch of a piece of paper with lines on it - representing the text of top tenslists of 10 items in a particular category that stand out as the top tier of a possible bazillion items for consideration.

Tone generally varies, depending on mood and functional level of the day, as does format.

Some of my Top Tens here on ADD-and-so-much-more will consist of bullet-points without much explanation or context.  Others will be augmented by comments of some sort, and a few will be more like articles with ten points.

Top Tens and ADD brains are made for each other!

Lists with ten items provide the perfect combination of flexibility and structure — with permission to vamp.

(Oh yeah, and because ADD Top Tens are generally written by ADDers, we can’t afford to be too literal about “top” or we’ll be ruminating over the pros and cons of inclusion ad infinitum.)

The subject matter of any particular ADD Top Ten List is limited only by the particular ADD mind of the author (which is like saying “limited by infinity”).

YOU PLAY TOO: Once you’ve read “About the Top Tens,” (or even if you haven’t!), use the comments section below to keep adding to this list (or any of the others that might strike your fancy)

Make sure you take the opportunity to ADD your take on the lists – don’t simply type “ditto” — and don’t invalidate anyone else’s world view, please.

ALSO, don’t get hooked on the “TOP” Ten part – whatever pops into your brain probably qualifies.

AND NOW – on to that list . . .

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ADD Positively Top Ten reblogged


Madelyn Griffith-Haynie says:

I am trying the “reblog” feature for the first time — this is a “Top Ten” you will love – from the ADDPositely blog. (We’ll find out how “reblog” works together.)

In typical ADD fashion, Top “ten” became 33 – complete with the great graphics shown above (not a lot of words, so a quick and funny read).

Enjoy this post – and check out her blog. It’s great!

— xx, mgh

PS. UGH!  IMHO, WordPress “reblog” is a REALLY inflexible (and totally ADD-unfriendly) “feature”  — especially the way it handles graphics! Tried it – HATE IT!

SO sorry!  I’ll figure out some other way if I want to share someone else’s post again. (MEANWHILE, click the “Related Content from around the ‘net” at the bottom of the posts I write for you).

Related Articles on ADDandSoMuchMore.com

Check this out too!

addpositively

TOP Ten Manifestations of Adult ADHD

  1. Disorganized
  2. Reckless Driving/Traffic Accidents

     

  3. Marital/Relationship Problems
  4. Extreme Distractibility
  5. Poor Listening Skills
  6. Restlessness, Problems Relaxing
  7. Procrastination, Problems starting a Task
  8. Chronic Lateness

     

  9. Angry outbursts (living on Anger Street)

     

  10. Prioritizing Issues                                                                                                         and then there are more:
  1. Losing track of thoughts/ideas in the middle of tasks
  2. Missing details or making careless mistakes
  3. Inability to complete assignments work/school
  4. Forgetfulness
  5. Difficulty following instructions
  6. Restless, constantly shifting in chair, tapping feet or pencil playing or tugging at hair or clothing and unable to stop.
  7. Impulsive, childish i.e. Can’t stand waiting in line, constant interrupting, blurt…

View original post 267 more words

Ten ADD Organizing Principles


NOT Your Mama’s Organization

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
In support of the Challenges Inventory™ & ADD Coaching Series

As I began in an earlier post (ADD & Organized?) . . .

Yes, even YOU can learn to be organized —
JUST AS SOON AS YOU UNDERSTAND
the REASONS why you’ve been stopped in the past.  

HERE’S the KICKER: it’s a different mix of stoppers for every single one of us.  

If you don’t understand how YOU work, you’ll never be able to determine what YOU need to do to to keep from spending half your life looking for things that were “right here a minute ago” — and the other half tripping over dirt and detritus.

So much for helpful hints and tidy lists!  

That said, I’m going to go w-a-a-y out on a limb by offering ten ADD organizing principles that I call, collectively, The ADD Organizaing Manifesto — a summary of some basic concepts that need to be embraced and understood if you want to have a shot at working out what YOU need to do for YOU to be organized.

In future posts in this series, I’ll expand on some of the points below.
For NOW, print ’em out and hang ’em up!

Read more of this post

Surviving Beloved’s ADD


Ten Tips when the ADD/EFD is Beloved’s

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

As you read the article below, don’t get hung up on the use of “ADD” as the diagnostic handle. I use it to refer to the ATTENTIONAL struggles common among all of the Executive Functioning Disorders.  The article will also be helpful if your Beloved’s “handle” is TBI, EFD, OCD, or any of what I refer to as the Alphabet Disorders.

As I mentioned in the first article of the Beloved Series, I get a lot of differently phrased questions from spouses that, essentially, all boil down to the same thing:

How do I deal with ADD
when it’s not my ADD?

Great question!  Relationships are tough enough without additional complications.

Throw in a little ADD for-better-or-for-worse, and it starts looking like a promise you might just have to break.

Toward the end of When Beloved Has ADD, I encouraged you to believe that  ALL the relationship goodies are beyond that “wall” of “I can’t deal with this another minute!” – as is your own inner healing, the need for which is bringing everything to the surface in this manner.

That’s cold comfort when somebody else’s ADD repeatedly complicates your dream of riding off into the sunset together, happily ever after.

The relationship you dreamed of is still there – behind that wall of pain, rejection & reaction. As awful as it feels, there is a shiny silver lining to this blackest of clouds, whether you work it out with this Beloved or not.

MEANWHILE, this section will give you Ten Tips designed to help immediately. Don’t worry – your needs won’t get overlooked, and CAN’T get overlooked, but I can’t do much to help there in ten quick suggestions.

If you want some immediate relief to avoid damaging your relationship beyond repair while we’re working on how to change dynamics on the home-front, try one or all of the tips below.

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Top Ten Stupid Comments from ADD-Docs


The Top Ten Stupid Comments
from
[supposed]  ADD Professionals
by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Ten Unfortunate [and recent]  Examples of Ignorance masquerading as Information — and
uninformed personal opinion presented as medical FACT.

———————————-
The comments on this article add information — take the time to read those too. You’ll be glad you did!
———————————-

First Things First:
Let’s not lump the good ADD doctors and the ones who made these stupid comments together!

They are not the same species AT ALL!

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10-Step ADD Coaching


Ten Things to think about that can give you a Brand New LIFE!
© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another article in the ADD Coaching Series


ŒBegin with a pen, pencil
(or crayon!) and a pad of your favorite paper — or your favorite software on your computer (whatever works best for YOU).

Find a comfortable place to perch while you run through the ten items below.

Plan on spending 30-45 minutes – whatever you can spare, but don’t try to squeeze it in between activities and interruptions.

Make SURE you are comfortable

Identify any tight places in your body:

  • Roll your shoulders.
  • Let your head drop to one side, then the other.
  • Wiggle your toes or spread your fingers.

Adjust your clothing, if you need to.  Unfasten anything that needs to be looser. Kick off your shoes if you feel like it.  Squirm around until you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Take several d-e-e-p breaths, exhaling slowly, while you think about your life as it is RIGHT NOW, before you work your way through the list below.

Read more of this post

Top Ten Questions about ADD meds


— Updated legacy post -orig. 09/12/99- from Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC —

Considering ADD Medication?

line drawing of a middle-aged doctor with glasses: shoulders and headTen Important Things to find out from your doctor or your pharmacist

First Things First: Doctors are only human — OVERWORKED humans.  They also have a lot of patient information to keep track of.  On top of that, it may take a change or three to titrate meds for each patient (find the right medication, the right dosage, the right timing, etc.).

So it’s always wise to double-check your prescription EVERY time.   Make sure the medication, dosage and timing are the same as last time, and point out anything that’s different before you leave the office.  

When you pick up your medication at your pharmacy, check it again.

So that means you’re gonna’ write down the information the FIRST time, right?
THEN you’re gonna’ transfer it to something you will keep in your wallet – or to your PDA or cellphone – something you always have with you, right?
(while you’re waiting for your very first prescription to be filled is an excellent time to do this, by the way!)

NOW, on to those Ten Things . . .
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The Top Ten . . . Things we wish YOU’d stop doing!


by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

Dear and wonderful non-ADD friends and associates –

Color graphic of a stop sign

We know what drives you crazy — really!
We’ve heard about it all our lives.

Even though we don’t do it on purpose,
we’re really sorry,
and we’ll keep workin’ on it.

HOWEVER,  I’ll bet you never realized that some of the things you do and say make it practically impossible for us to give you the very things you say you need to keep you from going crazy.

Did you?

I’ll double the bet that you had no idea that there was
much of anything that YOU do that drives US crazy!

At the risk of being benched by the ADD team, I’m going to let you in on just a few of the things never said to anyone outside our tight-knit ADD circle.  

Don’t shoot the messenger!

xx,
mgh

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Ten Basic Coaching Skills used most often with ADDers


— Updated legacy post -orig. 11/15/95- by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
LINKS within post are
dark gray to reduce distraction potential; they turn red on mouseover

ADDers have had people trying to “fix” them all their lives: 

Source: behance.net

If you’d listen to your father . . .
“If you’d just get organized . . .”
“If you’d only try . . .”

While those suggestions usually come from a loving intention, they are actually UNloving in execution, most frequently because they collapse won’t with can’t.

At the heart of those ever-so-well-meaning “should-s” is the assumption that all ADDers have to do is make a commitment to willingness and their worlds will shift.

In other words, the underlying belief is that the ADDer could
“if they really wanted to,” and that “all” that is missing is

a high enough degree of “wanting to.”

BALDERDASH!

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10 Questions to Ask to find a GRRRRreat! ADD Doc


ADD* & Looking for a Doctor?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Ten great questions to ask in the initial interview

Cartoon of a Doctor in a white lab coat with clipboard, glasses. and doctor's bag

Most of us are desperate for help by the time we look for it. 

ADD affect combined with a shortage of time and money means we often approach the process as beggars at a banquet, accepting a crust of bread as eagerly as a balanced meal.

If you don’t want to have to “Return to GO” when you find out later that things aren’t working (leaving your $200 on the table with the first doctor!), take some time to think first about what you need, and to find out whether your needs will be met by the care provider you are considering.

—————–

SEE: ADD: What’s in a Name? for why I don’t use the “H” – even though you ADHD-ers are definitely included in the articles you will find here.

© Updated 2011, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie,CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC-orig. on ADDCoach.com – 07/05/95

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The Top Ten . . . Products I wouldn’t want to live without


A Few of my Favorite Things

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

A drawing of a woman surrounded by stuff - a rocking horse, a floor lamp, a trunk, a bowl & pitcher, a painting - wearing a hat with a price tag still attached
Anybody who’s spent much time with very many ADDers knows how attached some of us can get to our stuff. Regardless of how you might feel about that particular quirk of personality, ya’ gotta’ admit, those of us who are stuff-obsessed know our products!

To quote an ADD stuff-opedia I know,
“Honey, Heloise ain’t got nothin’ on me!”  

While I may not give my friend much of a run for her money, check out some of my stuff suggestions (and leave me yours!)

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The Top 10 “useless” things I’ll never get rid of


Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover
Hover before clicking for more info
.

 I Won’t Throw – don’t ask me!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

If you’re a Professional Organizer or an Interior Decorator,
unless you have ADD,
you might want to hide your eyes!

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The Top Ten . . . Stupid Questions from the ADD clue-free


by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

Stupid questions are those I find impossible to answer at all because the truthful response would be unkind, A graphic of a fat question mark in several tones of gray
and I really do try my darndest not to be

(to my own detriment, more’s the pity!)

For the record . . .

Any time anybody asks questions like the ones below, I always need to stifle a response something along the lines of the following:

  • “Is that a real question or yet another indictment with a question mark at the end of it?”
  • “If you have to ask the question you’ll never understand the answer.”
  • “What part of ‘ADD Poster Girl’ don’t you GET?”

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ABOUT the Top Tens


Top Ten Lists for FUN (and organization?)

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Top Ten Lists are pretty much what they sound like —

Quickie sketch of a piece of paper with lines on it - representing the text of top tenslists of 10 items in a particular category that stand out as the top tier of a possible bazillion items for consideration.

Tone generally varies, depending on mood and functional level of the day, as does format.

Some of my Top Tens here on ADD-and-so-much-more will consist of bullet-points without much explanation or context.  Others will be augmented by comments of some sort, and a few will be more like articles with ten points.

Top Tens and ADD brains are made for each other:

Lists with ten items provide the perfect combination of flexibility and structure — with permission to vamp.

(Oh yeah, and because ADD Top Tens are generally written by ADDers, we can’t afford to be too literal about “top” or we’ll be ruminating over the pros and cons of inclusion ad infinitum.)

The subject matter of any particular ADD Top Ten List is limited only by the particular ADD mind of the author (which is like saying “limited by infinity”).

Read more of this post

Top Ten Things . . . I LOVE about having ADD


Lookin’ on the UPside —
overlookin’ the downside

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

Cartoon of female face with REALLY broad smile

Having ADD is a mixed bag!  There are VERY many things about it that make me howl in frustration, and more than a few others that make my life difficult to lead.

I’ll bet you can relate!

But ADD gives us some advantages too, and I think its important to remember what it ADDs to our lives — especially when we’re having “one of those days” when our functional temperature is sub-zero!

A little gratitude helps us keep things in perspective.

So here is a list of ten things about my particular flavor of ADD that make me REALLY happy!  I’ll bet you can relate to some of those too!  

Jump on down to the comments section and let me know what you love about YOUR particular flavor of ADD.

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