Almost here: Group Coaching


A Process Designed to Support Clients
with all kinds of minds!

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Does anything below sound like YOU?

  • Have you ever felt that you are essentially alone in your struggles with time and time-management, focus and follow-through as the result of PTSD, TBI/ABI, ADD/EFD — or brain-based struggles as the result of chemo-therapy or medication side-effects or chronic pain — or even something considered “normal,” such as age-related cognitive decline?
  • Do the people you love fail to really understand your challenges, so their suggestions & nudges don’t really help (and sometimes make things more difficult)?
  • Is there a pet project languishing on a back burner for FAR too long, but you can’t seem to “make” yourself get to it – or can’t find the time to do it amid the distractions of life’s many competing to-dos?
  • Have you accepted the dumb idea that your real problem is chronic procrastination because you have heard it so often it simply must be true – as you continue to struggle on in some attempt to just-DO-it?
  • Do you LIVE with someone who constantly lets you down, despite their assertions that they never intend to do so? Would you LOVE to understand how to “motivate” them and keep them on task to completion – BEFORE you give in to your impulse to strangle them?
  • Is your home or office so cluttered you rarely have the motivation to clean and organize, as day slips into clutter-mounting day?

Do you need help
you don’t think you can afford?

Would you love to hire a Sherpa: a highly-experienced, systems-development professional at the TOP of the field, but can’t fit the fees for one-on-one private coaching into your budget?

IN OTHER WORDS:

Do you need a little brain-based coaching to get to the point where you can afford brain-based coaching?

Have I got a Group for YOU!

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Relationship Repair when Apologies are Due


HOW to Apologize
beginning with how NOT to

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Intentionality Series

Find it on ADDCoach Wisdom on Pinterest – linked to thedailyquotes.com

Just because we didn’t do something intentionally (“on purpose”), doesn’t mean the injured party is not entitled to a sincere apology for the reality that we were involved and that something was damaged – or somebody was hurt – as a result.

Apologizing doesn’t mean that you have been purposely wrong and that the other person is absolutely right. It means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

ADD/EFD oopses

Far more often than many of the neurotypical members of society, those of us with what I refer to as Alphabet Disorders (AD[h]D, EFD, TBI, OCD and more) tend to say and do things that get us into hot water with our friends and loved ones.

  • Unfortunately, according to a great many of my clients through the years, instead of cleaning it up and asking for forgiveness, we tend to allow hurt and resentment to fester as a result of our reluctance to apologize.
  • Even more often, we make things even worse by our bungling attempts at taking responsibility for our actions when we do attempt to say we’re sorry – making it even more difficult for us to decide to apologize in the future.

While we might argue that the above points are two sides of the same coin, shame (certainly a factor), I have observed that only a few of us truly understand HOW to apologize – so we tend not to offer them as often as they are deserved.

That’s unfortunate, because apologizing costs us nothing, means a great deal to those we have disappointed or offended, and is a relatively easy thing to learn to do in an effective manner.

8 Reasons we don’t apologize more readily & more often

There are probably as many explanations as there are people who “refuse” to apologize, but they tend to cluster in areas similar to one or more of those below.

  1. We have collapsed blame, fault, and intentionality with apologyThey are NOT the same, and the presence of the former is completely unrelated to the need for an apology.
  2. Our egos are attached to appearing “perfect” or loving or emotionally sensitive in some black and white manner, fearing that apologizing makes us seem weak, ineffective or damaged in some fashion beyond that which we already fear that we might be.  The opposite is actually true.
  3. We aren’t fully appreciating the feelings of the individual at the effect of our actions, words or behavior, frequently because we ourselves would not respond in a similar manner.  We let ourselves off the hook with the lame excuse that they are “over-reacting”  — contexting our actions their fault.
  4. We feel as if we’re “always apologizing” – most often because we’ve been told that so many times throughout our lives we’ve concluded that yet another won’t really make much of a difference anyway. How can we expect to rebuild trust if we won’t take responsibility for our actions when they are hurtful?
  5. We don’t know how to “fix it,” and we are hoping that saying nothing will allow it to become no more important than a bit of dirt under a carpet.  By the time our attention is drawn to the huge dirty pile in the corner, it seems as if it really could be too late to repair the damage.
  6. They are younger than we are, or less senior, so we allow ourselves the excuse that an apology from us would be “inappropriate.”  Even very young children and junior office assistants are entitled to an apology whenever our actions would merit an apology to someone older or more senior – especially if we didn’t intend harm.
  7. It takes us a while to realize that an apology is probably due – or to work up the courage to offer one – and we don’t know how to begin at a later date.  It’s never to late to attempt to set things right.
  8. We lack the skill. When we believe we are apologizing, the person on the receiving end hears something entirely different: an attempt to shift the blame.

Whatever underlies our reticence or lack of effectiveness, we can learn to apologize effectively, and our happiness with our relationships will improve significantly once we do.

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The Brain: Why much of what you think you know is WRONG


Science Marches On
and older information becomes obsolete

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The Importance of Life-Long Learning

It’s an essential endeavor for everyone with a brain to continue to seek out and pay attention to credible information that will help us delay – or avoid – the onset of dementia, preserving cognitive functionality as we age.

However, it is especially important for scientists, treatment and helping professionals to keep up with new information and incorporate it into their theories, tests and treatment protocols.

And yet . . .

I have been beating this drum – while seeking new, scientifically valid information for over 30 years now – in my futile attempt [so far] to get some traction toward effective care for those of us with Executive Functioning disorders.

A concept known as Confirmation Bias explains part of the reason that my efforts [and those of others] have, for the most part, failed – but timing is everything.

Related Post: Why we HATE to Change our Minds

Getting updated, substantially more accurate information to “the professional down the street” simply takes far too long, as the continual explosion of partially-informed new coaches, bloggers and pinners confuse and confound the issue further.

They all seem to be well-intended, albeit at least partially misguided, spreading obsolete information all over the internet at an unprecedented rate.  For those who make an effort to continue to learn, it seems that the more that new information might persuade them to update their theories and methodologies along with their information base, the more tightly they hold to cherished beliefs – the very essence of cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive Dissonance Theory makes predictions that are counter-intuitive — predictions that have been confirmed in numerous scientific experiments.

If you aren’t familiar with the concept or the term, you will probably be surprised to see how widely it applies. Once you learn to pay attention to it, you will also be surprised at how it changes your behavior as well as your perception of your world.

Embracing its reality might also encourage you to investigate brain-based information further, allowing your mind to incorporate the latest in scientific findings, rather than repeating information that is, sometimes, decades old.

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Coaching the Easter Bunny – when help hurts


EBA Client’s Story
(With Permission)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I usually use pseudonyms in my client examples to protect client confidentiality.  When I DO use a real name, it is always with client permission — the Bunny himself has vetted this post.

How it happened

The Easter Bunny was one of my first clients, way back when coaching itself was a budding profession. (Oh, you’re a coach.  What sport?) 

This was before I founded The Optimal Functioning Institute™ — even before I began taking registrations for the first group to go through the A.C.T. program, the ADD-specific coaching curriculum I designed that launched the the entire ADD Coaching field.

At that time I was one of the very few coaches on the planet at all, and one of the fewer still who understood how to work with ADD.  So that’s the reason the Easter Bunny found his way to me. Now you might assume from that explanation that EB, as he is known to his friends, hired me to help with his own struggles with ADD

Seriously, a bunny delivering baskets of colored, hard-boiled eggs? YEARLY!? To every kid in America? One would suspect AD“H”D.

But one would be wrong.

He came for Mentor Coaching, hoping to learn how to help someone else — his business partner and very best friend in the whole wide world (who has ADD, possibly with anxiety comorbid).

BECAUSE his very best friend was no longer speaking to him — due to an incident that could have been avoided if EB had only come to me sooner.

He agreed to full disclosure of his story so that none of you would make the same mistake with someone you love (because that’s just the kind of hare he is).

A Strange Duo

It’s essential that you understand from the start that EB’s best friend is a real chicken.  No, really – a chicken (like the kind that lay eggs, right?)

In fact, the whole colored egg thing was his best friend’s idea to begin with.  He needed EB’s help since most of the chickens he knew were armless types, and the whole idea just took off from there.

Eventually it became a Big Magilla production — with an entire fleet of bunnies collecting eggs, hard-boiling eggs, coloring eggs, putting eggs and grass in baskets, and helping with deliveries.  (I mean, they’re EGGS, right?  They go bad — it’s not like they could stockpile.)

Another interesting fact you may not know is that Big Magilla was the very first company on the planet that was completely integrated. They have actively recruited both chickens and bunnies since inception, male and female, young and old — regardless of breeding, color or markings.

Where gender equality is concerned the bunny brigade has a pristine record but, for obvious reasons, the chicken cadre is primarily female — not really discriminatory since the ability to lay is what they call an essential job skill.

They employ the elderly, handicapped and mentally impaired mostly in the basket department – which has turned out to be a wonderful idea.  Some of the most talented and industrious basket weavers in America work for Magilla.

The kids are interns – grass cultivation and packaging mostly.

All things considered, it is a very forward-thinking business model.  But when one of the founding partners isn’t speaking to the other, that’s a crisis that needs a turn-around coach.

That’s when EB found an early Trainer-Team listing on the CoachU website and decided to hire me.

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ABOUT The ADD/HD All-Expert Consensus Statement


books_history

ADD History and Education

from Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

“Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it”

~ George Santayana (1863-1952)
from “Life of Reason

The ALL EXPERT
ADD Consensus Statement

Even as they struggle, desperate for information, help and understanding, MOST ADDers remain blissfully ignorant of the existence of the document reproduced below, much less the information that is contained within it.

Far too many ADD Professionals across several fields are unaware of it as well.

MOST will probably remain so.

‘Sup with that?

I truly can’t understand why even one single ADDer would NOT take the time to make sure they printed out a personal copy of this document and make it their business to distribute it widely.

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Gotta’ love the DSM-5 — NOT?


dsm5-apaRead it and Weep or
Work Around It?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

“Too many people don’t care what happens
so long as it doesn’t happen to them.”
~ William Howard Taft

I have written this article for ADD Coaches, ADD Professionals, and ADDults who are struggling to find a knowledgeable doctor.

I have none of those highly revered statistics to cite, but I believe it is safe to say that the fifth full revision of the DSM (the first significant update in almost twenty years) . . .

  • is the least popular
  • with the greatest number of advocates
  • for the greatest number of disorders and conditions
  • in the history of the DSM!

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Coaching Through the ADD Lens™ on Transformation Talk Radio


On Purpose with Karen Florence
interview with Madelyn Griffith-Haynie

OnAirCoaching through The ADD Lens™
Broadcast Thursday, August 15, 2013
at 10 AM Eastern
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Info about the show below
CLICK HERE to listen to it taped
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tune in to the live shows at
transformationtalkradio.com

Call In Number: 1-800 / 930-2819

Tape of Show will be Posted on ShowPage
(Scroll DOWN below for links to more on topics introduced on the show)

[Don’t forget: links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential –
they turn
red on mouse-over – hover before clicking for an info-box]

———————————————————————————————————————–
I use “ADD” to include AD/HD etc. Check out What’s in a Name for why.
———————————————————————————————————————–

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Brain-based Symptoms Mandate Brain-based Training



ACO Conference Binder 2012 –
Blog expanded Speaker Content

“Too many people don’t care what happens
so long as it doesn’t happen to them.”
~ William Howard Taft

“Always do right; this will gratify some people
and astonish the rest.”
~ Mark Twain

Throwing down the Gauntlet:
a challenge to ADD professionals

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Brain-based Coaches for Brain-based Symptoms

As we learned in an earlier article in this series, TBI Part I, neuropsychological impairments caused by brain injury may be characterized in terms of three functional systems, foundational in the Challenges of ADD Spectrum dysregulations as well as those of the community of those who have experienced Traumatic Brain Injuries of various sorts.

(1) intellect, which is the information-handling aspect of behavior;
(2) emotionality, which concerns feelings and motivations;  and
(3) control, which has to do with how behavior is expressed.
Source: Neuropsychological Assessment, 3nd  Ed., 1995,  by Muriel D. Lezak

Remember also that, according to the
Brain Wellness and BioFeedback Center of Washington, D.C.
there is substantial overlap in the symptoms that are diagnostic
for both MTBI* and ADD.

“Overlap” commonly includes trouble with some or all of the following: 

  • attention
  • concentration
  • distraction hypersensitivity
  • short-term memory
  • organizing
  • prioritizing
  • impulsiveness
  • multi-tasking

 — and occasionally —

  • impaired social skills, and
  • mood swings

These observations are supported by quantitative data from brain imaging studies with children and adults diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.  Single photon emission computed tomography [SPECT] and positron emission tomography [PET] scan studies show decreased metabolism in many areas of the brain that are involved in various cognitive processes including attentional, inhibitory, and decision making behaviors.

—————————————-
*MTB – “Mild Traumatic Brain Injury,”  a term that has fallen into disfavor because there is nothing mild about it’s cognitive after-effects. Research has shown that even a “mild” case of TBI can result in long-lasting neurological issues that include slowing of cognitive processes, confusion, chronic headache, post traumatic stress disorder and depression.

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Vision, Mission & Purpose – anchors in an uncertain world


Developing a Personal Vision, Purpose & Mission

© Developing by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, MCC, SCAC
– part of the What Kind of World Series
and the DreamCatcher™ Program

roadmapDesigning a roadmap for your BEing through the development of a personal Vision, Purpose & Mission is a HUGE Game to play with your life.

Human Resource Manager promptings to the contrary, not everyone will reach a point where they are ready to work on their Vision, Mission and Purpose — at least not in a manner where it can fulfill its promise as a transformative insight into Identity that will forever alter the steps of your life.

Creating truly authentic Vision, Purpose & Mission statements that will call your life into being usually takes considerably more time and internal focus than most people are prepared to dedicate.

It is a process more globally encompassing than the work and business objectives that are the focus of most of what you will find discussed on the internet.

It’s a Stretch

It’s not an easy process, and is decidedly not for the faint of heart. If you’re not at least a tiny bit frightened or overwhelmed, you’re probably not playing a big enough Game. Embarking on this process calls for nothing less than stepping up and owning your personal power.

You are entering the domain of pure creation.

It may feel a bit like jumping into the deep end of the pool for the very first time.  It helps to have a kindred spirit in the water, arms outstretched – it’s as tough to do in an isolated pool as it is dangerous to attempt in a shark-infested tank.

I am in the process of creating mySelf anew, and I invite anyone who is up to it to join me here on this blog during the year I have given myself to focus on re-creation.

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Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit


“Extreme” Self-Care Coaching Lab:

Tending the Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit

by Peggy Ramundo, BS, A.C.T., SCAC
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Speaker’s Content ACO 2013: Part 1

Extreme Self-Care is simple, but not easy
What Is It?
Putting your Self at the TOP of your To-Do List!

What follows is a synthesis of Conference Binder materials and Speaker’s Notes from the Coaching Lab presented during the  ACO Conference in Atlanta: April 2013

Extreme Self-Care

Extreme self-care is the foundation of a fulfilling life. To experience a high quality life, you need a “high quality you.” The only way to BE at your very best is to DO the very best for you — by making the quality of your life your #1 priority.

Extreme self-care means making intentional decisions about what you want — what brings you peace, joy, and happiness — getting into the zone, where you are in energetic alignment with your Highest Good.

  • It is about turning a deaf ear to the Shoulds espoused by others and by your own Inner Critic.
  • It is about giving yourself permission to “just say no” to those people and things that drain your resources of time and energy and ramp up your feelings of overwhelm.

Why It’s Essential

Remember the instructions flight attendants give passengers traveling with children regarding what to do in the event of a decrease in cabin air pressure?
Put the mask over your nose and mouth first and then over your children’s.

The reason, of course, is that you can’t help anyone else
if you are gasping for air yourself.

“Life is similar: while suffering, suffocating, starved, sapped, or scared,
we are in no condition to assist
[a client or] a friend in need,
much less be able to take pleasure in the moment.

Simply put, healthy “selfishness” is necessary for bringing joy
to others
as well as to ourselves.”  ~ Marcia Reynolds

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Participating in Online Communities for Mutual Support


Digital Literacies Peacock

Why a “Digital Literacy” Introduction?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
See UPDATE 4/27 below

I recently received an invitation from Hazel Owen, a woman introducing herself to me for the first time after her first visit to ADDandSoMuchMore.com.

She became aware of me only because I had “liked” an article written by her (hold that thought – it will relate to unwritten “reciprocity norms” when you read the upcoming article).

Hazel is an education advocate who hosts an online community from New Zealand (which explains some differences in slang and spelling you will find in articles written by her).

I found her voice, her background and her community impressive and fascinating, so I accepted her invitation to blog occasionally on her platform.

In THIS article, she is “returning the favor,” offering us some information I believe our entire community sorely needs — a beginners’ explanation of some of the “rules” of this whole “internet communities” thing! In other words, an introduction to the concept of Digital Literacy (dialogue with her in the comments section if you have questions – this lady KNOWs!)

Internet Alzheimer’s 🙂

Regular readers of ADDandSoMuchMore.com are most likely aware of my own technical challenges and frustrations. Most days I feel like a dolt who used to be on top of things.

Although I was once a computer professional myself, it was MANY years ago – decades that might as well be centuries in internet time.  The computer world moves rapidly, so practically nothing from those years offers me any help what-so-ever!!

In fact, after almost four years “off-line” as the result of some personal and health challenges, it seems now that my first instincts about how to do practically anything online are almost always wrong-wrong-wrong.

To make matters even worse, the people I asked (even paid!) for help didn’t seem to get it that I was unable to understand even their explanations, such was the depth of my cluelessness.

  • I had no IDEA how to “work” the software they suggested I download
    to “help.”
  • Other than “scroll” and a few other basic words that meant exactly
    what they used to mean, I was almost totally unfamiliar with the
    vocabulary they employed as they endeavored to enlighten me.
    Sheesh!

Oh goodie, more “in-order-to’s” to master .  .  . must I now give up bathing
and sleeping to fit it all in?

Hazel to the Rescue!

Hazel Owen
It turns out, you don’t NEED to be a technical guru to participate in the developing trend toward global connection.

There are a few basics you do need to know to keep from stepping in – um – trouble by violating the social expectations of the rest of Planet Internet.

After that, however, you can develop your “online literacy” at a pace most of us over here on Planet ADD will be able to manage without giving up basic self-care.

And now, without further ado, H-E-R-E-‘ s Hazel!

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Running Your Practice so it Doesn’t Run YOU


Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover.

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part 1 in the Practice Management Series

FIRST, Get a Mentor Coach —

Flying coachless is doing it the hard way

Coaches who get professionally mentored get up and running faster than those who use the “lone ranger” approach — up to 4 times faster. (According to Thomas Leonard, founder of Coach U – which trains non-ADD coaches).  

They make more money, attract and keep more clients, and have more satisfaction with their practices.

No Kidding!

Even though I refer to Thomas’ statement quite a lot NOW, I wasn’t sure if I believed it when I first read it in the early ’90s

I wasn’t totally convinced when I mentored with him, when I heard the words come out of his very own mouth in his typical “just what’s so” charge-neutral fashion — but I certainly embrace it whole-heartedly now!

It not only turns out to be true with “vanilla” coaches, it seems especially true in the ADD Coaching field.

  • The added accountability certainly helps us follow-through, so days don’t turn into weeks, months or years of “meant to but never did.”
  • The “externalized pre-frontal cortex” dynamic, to keep rumination at bay is essential.
  • And nobody could fail to appreciate the “Sherpa” component — unless the only way they can learn is through repeated recovery from mistakes that could have been avoided.
  • The primary value of Mentor Coaching, however, seems to be its “Challenging” feature: on our own, we seem to set smaller goals to keep from overwhelming ourselves with “over-the-top” inhumanly unrealistic ones.

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Free ADD Coach Training: 5 Short Weeks to a Major Shift



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while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover.

Avoiding the Holes in the Road, # 2

Drawing of a businessman in a suit, carrying a briefcase, about to fall into a hole because he does not notice that the manhole cover has been left off the manhole (he is reading)

An Oldie but Goodie
Adaptation by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

 originally, Autobiography In Five Short Chapters
by Porsche Nelson (Al-Anon ACOA)
with gratitude to Glen Hogard for the source –
see his comment (below) for still more

This article is an ADD Coaching reframe of a story that has been passed around in productivity circles for years — you may have heard it with “5 Chapters” instead of “5 Weeks.”

With a few tweaks, it’s not only a great training tool, it is a perfect illustration of the dynamic in an effective ADD Coaching relationship.

Free Coach Training:

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Booklist from the original ADD Coach Training



ACO Conference Binder 2012 –
Blog expanded Speaker Content
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – Part 4d


“It takes a village to educate a world.
~  Madelyn Griffith-Haynie

“If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t blame the FOOT!”
~  Madelyn Griffith-Haynie (the motto of OFI’s ADD Coach Training)

Required Reading
for OFI ‘s ADD Coach Training

The following were the Required Books for the original ADD Coach Training I delivered through my first company, The Optimal Functional Institute™ [OFI]

I chose these books initially because they contained information that I intended to refer to throughout the  Coach Training modules that made up the certification-compliant, ADD-specific coach training that I began in beta way back in 1994  —  the training that started a field.

To keep my student’s initial investment low, I chose the following books as ones I would refer to often because they were (and are) approachable, written in simple language, with great lists and descriptions of what these new ADD coaches would encounter with attentionally challenged clients.

Specific sections of these books were  required as background information for class discussions, in addition to the module content that I developed.

I required the following books specifically because they had already languaged beautifully many of the elements that I felt it important to point out in specific areas of their training.

Two of the original choices, Susan Setley’s Taming the Dragons and
Thom Hartman’s Focus Your Energy, subsequently went out of print,
but if you can find them used, nab them!

As time marched on, other excellent books became part of the bibliography that those enrolled received with their course materials.

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Attentional Spectrum Books


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while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover.


ACO Conference Binder 2012 –
Blog expanded Speaker Content
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – Part 4c


“It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Albert Einstein

“We spend our life until we’re twenty
deciding what parts of ourselves to put in the bag,
and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.” 

~  Robert Bly

The Attentional Spectrum through The ADD Lens™

As I compiled this list of “ADD-related” books, I became crystal clear that my concept of “related” is that the book sheds some positive-minded light on the process of attentional regulation.

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Brain-Based Blogs & Websites



ACO Conference Binder 2012 –
Blog expanded Speaker Content
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – Part 4b

 “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”
~ Alan Kay

“I worry that our lives are like soap operas.
We can go on for months and not tune in to them,
then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.”
 ~ Jane Wagner — The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
(
Lily Tomlin‘s one-woman show)

Tuning in to our future AS it is invented

AS I INDICATED on The Brain-based BOOK list, I have been distracted from compiling EACH of the Brain-based Resouce Lists so many times, that looking for all of their pieces has become an Easter Egg hunt!

So here’s a great start, with my apologies to all of the wonderful brain-based blogs and websites that didn’t make it to THIS version.

Even though “quick” changes are possible after post, I have a VERY full plate, so even a teensy-tiny edit or addition could take longer than you’d like – please don’t personalize.

Try to remember that, as The ADD Poster Girl, make-wrong shuts me down too, and admin is NOT my thing!  We all have to be willing to take a few dropped admin balls as par for my course. (HOWEVER, if you would like to gift me a full-time admin-assist, let’s talk!)

The way it stands NOW, as far as I’m concerned I deserve gold stars for staying tracked to get this done in any manner what-so-ever! 

Parodying an oft-quoted sentiment:

Nobody ever said, when they were about to die,
“DARN, I wish I’d made more time for administrative detail!” 

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Brain-Based Books



ACO Conference Binder 2012 –
Blog expanded Speaker Content
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – Part 4a
Last Edited: March 29, 2012

“…some things you get taught.
And some things you just learn.”
~ Anna Quindlen

“Only a group of people who share a body of knowledge and
continually learn together can stay vital and viable.”

Max DePree (author of The Art of Management)

Feed
Your Mind

Many of you know that I am a voracious reader.

Reading scratches an itch in my brain. It’s time-off for good behavior. It centers me like nothing else.

Relatively rare in the ADD community, I’ve loved to read since I first learned how — took to it like a duck to water, as they say.

My Love Affair with WORDS

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BRAIN-BASED OVERVIEW


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Hover before clicking for more info


ACO Conference Binder 2012 –
Blog expanded Speaker Content
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – Part 2

Neurons that wire together fire together;
Neurons that fire together WIRE together 

We now know that the brain’s neural network respond to stimuli in a self-organizing pattern – beginning with our very first experience with a novel stimulus.

Cause and Effect Linkage

Which neurons “wire” together depends on whether the stimulus is congruent with brain expectations, whether it is reminiscent of another pattern of stimuli, and what happened NEXT.

Some self-help books refer to this neural patterning as “recording new tapes,”
furthering that analogy with terms like “playing old tapes”
— as they encourage us not to.

In actuality, we have no choice: the human brain automatically “searches its database” faster than we can exert any conscience influence over it in the moment!  It’s designed that way to safeguard the survival of our species.

We can, however, make a few tweaks to the system after the fact.

That’s the exciting implication of what we now understand about the brain’s neuroplasticity – the fact that it can CHANGE creates the opportunity for ADD Coaches to make a positive difference in the lives of our clients.

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Making the Connection: Brain-based Coaching Intro



ACO Conference Binder 2012

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC
Blog augmented
Speaker Content – Part I

Making the Connection:
Brain-based Coaching

White cake with white icing (and a cherry on top!)ADD Coaching is much MORE than ADD Icing on a vanilla cake:
It’s ADD-specific through and through!

Series Description:

EVEN if you understand the impact of an ADDer’s unreliable Prefrontal Cortex, do you know how to tweak your coaching to reflect what you know?

How do the brain’s OTHER areas relate to ADD challenges — and how we need to massage our technique so our clients are able to change can’t into can?

In the articles of this series (blog-edited “reprints” of my speaker’s content published in the ACO 2012 Conference Binder), you will learn what’s going on and what it means – in plain English – and take a new look at  ADD Coaching competencies in light of brain-based understanding.

Understanding this information has the potential to kick your coaching skills into outer space!

Readers of this series will:

1.  Be introduced to the regulatory responsibilities of 4-6 primary areas of the brain that are currently believed to contribute to ADD characteristics, and how the inter-relationship of those areas combine to create the ADD challenges and strengths described in the DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, published by the American Psychological Association)

2.  Come to a new understanding of the “conductor” role of the Prefrontal Cortex, along with why it is not optimally effective to focus ONLY on the PFC in our attempt to understand or coach ADD challenges.

3.  Begin to develop a set of competency-linked skills specifically tailored to compensate for the differences in the ADD brain-style, allowing you to begin to come to a brain-based understanding of how, where and why ADD Coaching and vanilla coaching differ.
—————————–
“Vanilla” coaching,  unflavored by techniques tailored for those with Attentional Spectrum differences, is the established coaching technique used by coaches who are not trained to work with ADD; older technology designed to be effective with the neurotypical brain-style,

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A Notebook as a System to Fulfill


Creating “A System to Fulfill”

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
In support of The ADD in the Spirit Coach Training Program Series

Setting it up so that you get to WIN!

The priciples of setting up a tracking system for a brand new coaching practice generalize — so don’t skip this article, simply because you won’t be setting up a notebook for coach training.

Beginning with the END in mind

There’s a lot to track when you’re setting up a brand new system for a brand new business!

If you are like most of us with ADD, that tracking part doesn’t land anywhere close to your centers of competency, so don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Start out organized!

Don’t play games with this – do it right away!

  • You know what will happen to the notes taken in all those tattered legal pads and spiral notebooks – or on the little scraps of paper – or on anything else you grab to write on “for now,” don’t you?
  • Somewhere deep inside you KNOW that the “tomorrow” where you will finally get everything together and filed for easy retrieval-on-demand will NEVER turn into today — don’t you?
  • Yep! The task will loom larger and more daunting with every scratch of the pen and tick of the clock.

Class notes, handouts, contact sheets, practice management tips, tricks and brain-children, medication references, bridge numbers and access codes (and who knows what else?!) – OH MY!

Your best defense against overwhelm and Boggle

. . . is to make it “easy by default.”

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ADD in the Spirit Resource List


Peggy Ramundo and I promised we would post The ADD in the Spirit Coach Training Resource List so that it would be available to prospective students online.  We decided to make it available for anyone interested.
(Feel free to pass it on in any format — source credit appreciated) You can also find a slightly more abbreviated version in the ACO 2012 Conference Binder with our speaker materials. 

The ADD in the Spirit Resource List:
Books, Blogs, and Web Sites

from Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
and Peggy Ramundo, 
BS, A.C.T., STCL, DT, SCAC
In support of The ADD in the Spirit Coach Training Program Series



ADD in the Spirit Coach Training
Required Reading List


  • Coaching with Spirit, Teri-E Belf
  • Financial Spirituality, Bill Rowland
  • How Can I Help? Ram Dass and Paul Gorman
  • Organizing for the Spirit, Sunny Schlenger
  • Making Peace with the Things in Your Life, Cindy Glovinsky
  • The ADHD Effect on Marriage, Melissa Orlov
  • You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! 2nd Edition,
    Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

ACO Conference 2012: reflections on my return


Amazing! Start saving NOW to BE there next year!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I just returned from speaking at the 5th Annual ADHD Coaches Organization [ACO] conference at the at the beautiful Crowne Plaza Hotel in Atlanta.  WHAT an experience!  

Congratulations to 2012 conference chair, Judith Champion, and her conference team, along with my gratitude for a simply stellar experience.  What a banquet!

I have to second Dr. Charles Parker’s comment in the post-conference article on his Corepsychblog, “If you are an ADHD coach and haven’t yet connected with the ACO  . . .  now is the time to get on it and get cracking.”

Silver and Gold

As always, I made new friends as I connected with long-time friends and colleagues. I also had the pleasure of seeing former students “all grown up,” giving those of us who are “old-timers” brand new inspiration.  I am still grinning ear-to-ear now that I am home and unpacked.

As usual, ADD Coaches came from across the United States and, as expected, many of our Canadian colleagues made the trip.

The surprise was attendance from as far away as Stockholm, Germany and Shanghai, eager to add their voices to the mix and to ask for our help bringing ADD Coaching to their countries.

As the founder of the world’s first ADD-specific coaching curriculum and co-founder of the ADD Coaching field itself, I was and am overwhelmed with gratitude for the beautiful garden that is growing now from seeds I planted decades ago.  I stand amazed at all the “new varieties” being developed all over the world — without my having to lift a single shovel!

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Distinctions: Coaching vs.Therapy


Some of the DIFFERENCES
between

The THERAPIST
and The COACH

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Dr. Lee Smith,
CTP, MCC  ©1994, ’95, ’02, ’11, ’15

Obviously, the well-being of the client is the context for this discussion, and determining what kind of assistance is appropriate is an important question.

Why?

Because most coaches are not trained therapists and most therapists are not trained coaches.  


•  For potential clients:
 the question is, Which do I choose and how do I decide?

•  For helping professionals: the issue becomes when, what, and to which professional to refer.

• When ADD is part of the picture, (or any of the Executive Functioning** dysregulations), the differences between an ADD Coach and any other kind of coach becomes important as well.

**(Check out the Executive Functioning LinkList
jump to the one you are most interested in reading,
or read them ALL – opens in a new window/tab)

Beginning at the beginning

Let’s begin the process of differentiating therapy and coaching by focusing only on the items in common with all coaches, without regard to specialties.

At the end of this article are some links that will help you understand some key differences that only comprehensively-trained, brain-based ADD Coaches understand how to work with.  In a future article I will address the issue ADD Coaching differences more directly.

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Brain-based Coaching Paradigms


Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover
Hover before clicking for more info

Underlying Assumptions Keeping us Stuck

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Each Professional Coach has a way of looking at life and at coaching that shapes his or her particular approach and determines the way they coach.

I personally believe that it is impossible
to make lasting changes
that are nothing more than reactions to shame
.

Shame is a lousy “motivator” that we’ve somehow come to believe will keep the “lawless” on the straight and narrow.

MAYBE – if “on the straight and narrow” means “behind the eight ball!”

Shame’s Genesis

After almost 25 years of coaching people with ADD, EFD and comorbid disorders, I have observed that shame is actually the internalization of  repeated “evidence of failure” after years of struggling to incorporate the diagnostic implications with the well-meaning “support” of people who didn’t really understand the pragmatics of Executive Functioning dysregulation: what moves things forward and what makes things worse.

Whatever the rationale behind saying them, variations of comments like the ones below not only make it more difficult to live up to expectations, they encourage a black and white belief that we are fundamentally inadequate and always will be.

  • You HAVE to get organized — why don’t you write things down!?
  • Anyone with your intelligence should be doing better! 
  • You could if you wanted to badly enough and put the effort in.
  • You don’t listen! You aren’t really trying. 
  • You MUST take responsibility for your own life!

Our “helpers” need to understand that attempts to MOTIVATE us to make better choices in any fashion will never work – because 90% of our chronic oopses are not the result of a “failure of WILL.”  They aren’t even “choices” at all, unless you want to use the term “choice” to hold us accountable for unconscious assumptions underlying our actions.

We don’t need to be motivated to make better choices, we need to be coached and mentored to learn how to MAKE and ACTUATE choices at all.  And that absolutely must begin with an examination of The User’s Manual for the ADD/EFD Brain!

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Check out Peer Coaching


Need A Little More Help to really SHINE?

Graphic of confused man surrounded by words representing choices and procedures.

Do you need a little bit of ADD Coaching assistance to get to the point where you can afford ADD Coaching assistance?

  • Are you currently Peer Coaching and wish it could serve you BETTER?
  • Are you TRAINING to become an ADD Coach yourself — and you’re not sure how to really USE the required Peer-Partner sessions?
  • Are you currently using the services of a professional ADDCoach, but you’d like coaching support more often than you can afford?   Read more of this post

Nine Challenges: What Are They?


Isolated Understanding
Must Come First

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

from The Challenges Inventory™ Series
Part 3 of a 3-part article
Challenges DESCRIPTIONS
after short review
Part 1 HERE Part 2 HERE

Graphic of a surprised man pointing to the presentation of a graph that takes a sharp downturnThe Challenges of the Inventory

The Challenges Inventory™ is composed of nine separate elements — The Challenges — designed to target nine specific areas which are particularly problematic for most human beings. 

They are quite often complete stoppers
for individuals with
Executive Functioning struggles
(and
not just ADD).

The specific combination of particular Challenges make up a client’s Challenges Profile — a visual snapshot of implementation in the nine key areas relative to each other

WHY is that important?

Once we recognize and understand the impact of the relationship between these “underachieving” parts of our lives, we can better use each category to our ADVANTAGE rather than to our detriment, creating positive change in our lives.

The real power of The Challenges Inventory™

The power to improve your functioning comes from understanding each of the nine Challenges individually as well as their impact together. THAT will tell you how to translate the scores into information your can use to change your LIFE.

It is only through the understanding of how to sherlock the particular relationship between the scores that that you will have the information you need to develop the systems that will be effective with YOUR individual Challenges Profile.

At that point, you can begin immediately to prioritize a path of development that works with your strengths and works AROUND your areas of significant challenge.

AND YET, we must begin at the beginning.

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar for a reminder
of how links work on this site, they’re subtle  ==>

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NINE Challenges to Effective Functioning


From The ADD Lens™

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part 2 of a 3-part article
Designing The Challenges Inventory™
(click HERE to read Part I)

It’s NOT a Secret

It is a misunderstanding of how it all works to believe that “thinking positively” is ALL you have to do to attract the success you deserve.

  • Faith without appropriate action is sallow.  
  • Appropriate action is YOU-based, what you must do to manifest your dreams.
  • The genesis of creation comes from Spirit, BUT 
  • Here on the physical plane, we are equally bound by the laws of the physical.
  • Were it not so, we would not find ourselves walking on firmament in a body equipped with a brain.

The more you understand how your physical apparatus is designed,
the better you will be able to actuate your desires on the physical plane.

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Sherlocking ADD Challenges


Investigating Winners

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part I of a 3-Part Article

I had always been determined to be a winner in this game called life, but I was struggling.

I worked as hard or harder than anyone else, I seemed to have more talents and abilities than many, and I got more than my share of lucky breaks.

But somehow there was always something that fell apart before I could reach that finish line called SUCCESS. Since I couldn’t predict it, I couldn’t prevent it.  It was driving me nuts!

I spent most of my thirties in therapy in an attempt to figure it out, to no avail. I tried on every diagnosis anybody threw at me (I wouldn’t wanna’ be resistant, right?).

None of them felt right.

I just knew there had to be something else.

  • Nope, not fear of failure or success.
  • Nope, not low self-esteem or self-sabotage.
  • No way I’m passive/aggressive or manic/depressive (now called BiPolar).
  • Well, sure I’m depressed – wouldn’t you be if your life kept falling apart no matter how hard you tried to keep it together?

On and on and on with the list that I’m sure anyone reading this article will find all too personally familiar: including anything and everything but the one thing that would make the difference in my life.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

When I was 38 years old – another lifetime, it seems now, over two decades later – I learned about Attention Deficit Disorder.  Finally! Now that I had a name for what was “wrong” with me, I wasn’t going to let a little thing like ADD stop me.

So what do I DO about it? 
I asked the doctor who agreed with my self-diagnosis. 

What do you MEAN, nobody knows how to treat ADDults?  

THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!!

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ABOUT The Challenges Inventory™


A Snapshot of Your Functional Profile

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Graphic of a grid on which an arrow traces downward progressThe unique relationship of NINE functional Challenges in YOUR life!

Discover the extent to which your
Challenges Profile is making life difficult:
unique-to-you categories-combinations where understanding can lead to prediction, which can skyrocket an upside down profile!

Once someone has been diagnosed with ADD, it is especially useful to have a snapshot of their particular functioning.

Although each of the challenges are difficult to some extent for most human beings as well as most ADDults, the degree to which each challenge causes trouble RELATIVE to the remaining eight Challenges — and how to approach change and growth — is quantified in a Challenges Profile.  Woo hoo!

Quantification provides a MAP to assist ADDer, client, coach, parent, teacher, or any individual who will take the time to understand what they are looking at, that enables them to strategize progress steps — focusing effort and activity so that evidence of success very quickly replaces evidence of failure.
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Mentor Coaching – How Come?


LINKS — See also: Mentor Coaching and Football? for context, and How I Mentor Coaches for specifics —

Why MENTOR Coaching?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
ADDCoach Trainer & Certified Mentor Coach

An older female helping a younger one put a puzzle together

All coaching
targets your functioning,
wherever the application.

MENTOR Coaching targets
your development as a Coach,
first and foremost.

Hiring a Mentor Coach to coach you through the practice development phase helps you put the practice puzzle together:  it straightens out your learning curve and gives you guidance and encouragement as you define and build your career.

Clients ready for a Mentor Coach:

  • have already done a lot of Foundation work, either through a formalized training or from the school of life
  • feel confident that they are ready to work with others in this regard (and may be practicing coaches who have been “flying solo” for some time)
  • have already acquired a great many coaching skills, and may well feel they have been coaching all their lives while making a living at something else
  • hire a Mentor Coach primarily for acquiring additional skills and for practice development coaching. 

They look to their Mentor Coach to help them:

  1. deepen their personal growth
  2. hone and expand their coaching skill set, and
  3. strategize steps toward a professional coaching practice
    that is personally and financially rewarding.

By definition, coaches are on the fast track with personal growth. Mentor Coaching puts them on the fast track with practice growth.

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