Climbing your Mountains YOUR way


Success Strategies
Different Strokes for Different Folks

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Coaching Series

MY way is not the only highway

Hopping around the ‘net hoping to find the beginning markers of the yellow-brick-road to massive success, life-satisfaction and ultimate happiness?

How many of the gurus below have YOU tripped across?

If you are not meeting with much success by following any of them, maybe what I have to say in the second half of the article below might make some sense.

YouTube Gurus spill their guts

I’ve been arguing with YouTube again — this time with the so-called “Success” Gurus.

I’ve been listening to their lectures, TED talks, keynote speeches, and all kinds of interviews with an impressive line-up of fabulously successful guests — and it ALL sounded good at the time.

  • Locate your motivation for massive action.
  • Never give up — Do it NOW.
  • A belief is a story you tell yourself repeatedly.
  • Argue for your limitations and they’re yours.
  • Focus on your goal and grind it out!
  • Connect with your passion to move into JOY.

I listen to the stories of huge successes coming after repeated failures – the tales of leaders who now experience massive wealth and large communities of followers because they kept their eyes on what they wanted for many years and didn’t allow themselves to be stopped by mental or physical challenges.

Who wouldn’t want what they have?
They seem happy, they’re making a difference — and they’re RICH!
So what did they DO?

They refused to take no for an answer.  They uncovered the fundamental reasons underlying their goals – and motivated themselves by connecting to their dreams every day.  They doubled their efforts with practically single-minded focus.  They went more than the extra mile.

They set increasingly larger goals for themselves until the picture was large enough to pull them into taking the actions that ultimately led to their eventual success.

And it all sounds wonderful!

But then along comes . . . Harry ?

Moments later another video cycles through. Now I’m hearing something that sounds confusingly different, from a totally other paradigm.

  • Stop tilting at windmills. Think it through first – you can’t reach your destination without your map.
  • Stop pushing on locked doors – perhaps you’re being guided in another direction.
  • Figure out what you are meant to do and do that.
  • One baby step at a time – slow and steady wins the race.
  • Money is an inadequate metric for success.
  • The most satisfying life is a balanced life.
  • Follow your bliss.

This time I’m watching shining faces as I listen to statements of gratitude like the following:

“Getting fired and having to live in my parent’s basement for two years, working nights at the local convenience store for minimum wage, was the best thing that ever happened to me!

“It was only after my spouse threatened to take the kids and leave me that I realized that my priorities were totally out of whack.”

“I would never have found my true calling – or the guts to do what I really wanted to do – if my older paths had not been blocked.”

Sure, that makes perfect sense –
as long as we keep taking action toward an eventual balanced outcome
we’ll eventually connect with our source of power.

 

Think again, Grasshopper

Watch for just a moment longer and you will run across still other videos with another point of view entirely — telling you that focusing on action is doing it the hard way.  It’s like pushing a rope – lots of side-to-side movement but no forward momentum – and certainly no successful results.

  • You are a spiritual being having a physical experience.
  • The universe knows what you want the moment you experience what you don’t want.
  • You can’t attract what you desire unless you are in vibrational alignment.
  • Affirmations don’t manifest – you can’t get to having from a vibration of have-not.
  • Meditate every day so you can become congruent with your goals.

Again, I’m seeing a room full of exuberance, hearing tales of lives that are unfolding perfectly after years of pushing rocks up hills in vain.  BOY does that sound appealing!

I know how hard so many of us have worked for years as we wondered what we could possibly be doing wrong that we continued to struggle in some fundamental ways.  SURE!  We need to meditate our way into havingness. We can do that, right?

Trust the universe –
Let go and let God!

Remember that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

HOVER before clicking – often a box will appear to tell you what to expect

Uh-oh, here come the body-hackers

They don’t seem to agree on the hacking method, but they each seem convinced that our success is likely to be limited unless we align our brain and body with optimum health as they define it.

They each cite scientific studies with the zeal of the converted.

  • Nutraceuticals and Smart Drugs prime us for peak performance.
  • Improving our memory by remembering the NAMES of everyone we meet can be done, successful people do it and here’s how!
  • Go on water fasts every six months to keep your brain sharp — unless intermittent fasting every day is the best way to keep it young.
    (Do BOTH – do neither?)
  • We can hack our brain with electrical stimulation, BUT we need to be aware of gene regulation through voltage-dependent calcium channels in the brain – and the dangers of free-range electricity that is rampant in our world today.

Think I’m kidding?  I listened to one respected guru explain how important it is that we make sure to turn off all electrical current at the circuit box and shut down our wifi every single night if we want to get enough of the deep sleep we need to do what we need to do.

  • However, it’s MOST important to change our gut biome with a plant-based diet — as long as we avoid grains in favor of leaves and tubers. Don’t eat FAT!
  • Wait! Peak performance only comes with eating protein like a carnivore — as long as it is free-range and grass fed. Eat MORE fat. 
  • Supplements are essential — or maybe they do more harm than good. Or are they actually a waste of money – expensive urine?

Do THIS – never do that (or is it the other way around?)

HOLY MOLEY!

Do these guys agree on anything we can implement in our own lives?
(anything “actionable” as many are fond of saying)

I’m not so sure.

YET AGAIN, so much of their passionate advice was presented in an either/or, better/worse, seemingly black and white fashion — albeit in a fascinating, oddly motivating manner — that it left me with an uneasy feeling in my gut.

It wasn’t that they didn’t have a lot of principles that made a lot of sense to me.  I’ve worked with clients who used a great number of the strategies above, and most had experienced a modicum of success with the methods to which they were attracted. I’ve tried some of them successfully myself.  BUT. . .

  1. In too many cases I was left with an impression that these Success Gurus believed that their way of working was the best way for ALL individuals to proceed — and that we would be somehow foolish to approach finding a solution that didn’t incorporate their wisdom.
  2. They seemed oblivious to the reality that, for a great many of us, some of their solutions are – currently, at least – absolutely out of reach financially.
  3. They left out the TIME factor altogether – and didn’t quite explain who was going to keep a roof over our heads while we set about taking their advice:
    * changing our brains by getting more sleep,
    * learning to eat for optimal brain health and healing
    (and setting up our kitchens and pantries to accommodate it)
    ,
    * growing our social media platforms and acquiring new technology, and
    * meditating along with working through daily exercises that would improve short term memory and recall.

And a great many of them seemed quite positive that whatever issues we had with their advice could most certainly be resolved by signing up for their latest internet offering.**

What I Learned — and how I coach

webweaver

I began by looking at an area where “winning” was more than a concept: sports. Whatever the sport – football, baseball, tennis to golf – winners didn’t win simply because they wanted to win or decided to win, or even because they expected to win!

Preparation, effort and motivation were vital, of course – but even that didn’t seem to me to be enough to turn the average Joe into a peak-performance player.

No matter what sport they played, professional athletes
trained differently to play the same sport.

Individual athletes had to start from where they were: to train with the bodies they were born with until they acquired the strength, stamina and skills to do more.

Professional sports coaches had to understand the strengths and limitations of each athlete’s body to be able to turn them into winners. Individual differences mandated different approaches. They needed to build on strengths, overcome bad habits, and focus on strengthening only those areas that were holding them back.

Yet, just as wanting to do so wouldn’t necessarily make it so . . .

  • Effort and action did not guarantee success.
  • Effort and action only contributed to success if they were designed specifically for the task at hand.
  • And it goes without saying that “the task at hand” had to be identified specifically – not only by sport but by position. “My goal is to become a professional sports star” simply wasn’t going to cut it. Football or baseball?  Pitcher or catcher?

Not by Accident

Sandlot players never became successful peak-performance athletes by chance.

  • They needed to know what they needed to do to build on strengths,
    overcome bad habits, and strengthen task-appropriate weaknesses.
  • They needed to understand what they were doing well already, where they were missing the mark, and where they were wasting their efforts.
  • They needed repetition and practice to replace old habits with new ones.
  • They needed feedback to keep them on track just as surely as dancers needed mirrors when they began to work on placement.

Playing to WIN after practicing failure?

success-and-failure-signIt seemed to me that if their coaches failed to consider each athlete’s current level of performance, they would design drills that took more than their players had to give.

The result? More evidence of failure;
more movement in the WRONG direction.

When athletes leave practice feeling like failures, that is exactly what they will demonstrate on the field. Each workout needs to push the limits, but each needs to have within it the possibility of success – to challenge each athlete without breaking him or her.

BUT, there is more to it than practice alone.

Many objectives can be obtained through strengthening performance in areas that CAN be improved with practice.

Some things, however, must be accepted, worked with, and worked around.

  • Strategy wins as many games as player talent.
  • Effective strategy always takes the players into account – as they ARE — not as they would be if everybody believed hard enough.

FROM: Sherlocking ADD Challenges: Investigating Winners

BOTTOM LINE:

Athletic success is more like a recipe for a fancy cake than a list of ingredients kept on a pantry shelf to be combined for any and all meals for any and all diners.

That recipe must be tailored to the metaphorical taste-buds and health challenges of each individual diner, the ingredients available at the time, the altitude of kitchen and functionality of the stove — even the type of pan into which the batter will be poured.

Why wouldn’t that be just as valid for success in any endeavor?

And why wouldn’t differences in the brain be as important as any other physical difference?

I would like to make a strong case for the fact that it WOULD — and that whether you attempt to do it alone, work with a buddy, in a group, or hire a professional brain-based coach like me, climbing your mountain YOUR way is the absolute best way to go about it.

Along with understanding that you can’t review the opera
’til the fat lady sings!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**Keep an eye out for my OWN amazing internet offering – designed for the rest of us.  Really – we CAN change our lives by understanding “how to drive the very brains we were born with – even if they’ve taken a few hits in meantime.”™


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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

100 Responses to Climbing your Mountains YOUR way

  1. Aquileana says:

    “Effort and action did not guarantee success… Effort and action only contributed to success”

    I absolutely agree with that statement, dear Madelyn… so many things to ponder here…

    We can all climb mountains (i.e achieve our goals , improve in Life, solve current difficult sitautions, etc). But it is treu that it is a quite personal thing. as it involves subjective stratregies… timing… and circumstances which might differ according to each one of us… Also how we tackle obstacles has to do with our own growth and self-esteem. It could take us more time or less, depending on who our lives are going.

    Your job is a difficult one, as people could hide things or maybe it could be difficult to see them beyond (what they show you). But knowing people´s story could certainly help develop strategies with them in order to assist them. Great post!. Love & best wishes 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a wonderful comment, Aquileana – SO many variables of life contributing to the outcome. Even folks who do everything “right” can get hit with tragedy after tragedy totally out of their control and not their doing that they simply cannot overcome for years – especially true for folks who’ve lost momentum due to natural disasters and/or terrorist acts. I think they get Success Points simply for getting back up AT ALL.

      You might find this difficult to believe, but my clients don’t actually hide things from me. By the time they get to me they are so EAGER to leave their challenges behind that it’s sometimes more difficult to get them to focus on one thing at a time so we can take it step by step, skill building as we go. They are more likely to want me to know EVERYTHING at once – lol – the good, the bad and the ugly!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Another fascinating read, Madelyn!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. This topic is near and dear to my heart. Those (usually self-appointed) “gurus” (almost always with a book or other product or service to sell 🤔) contradict each other (and sometimes themselves) a lot, don’t they? And when you click on some of their scientific references, sometimes you find that they’ve totally misunderstood the study! Lol.

    I really appreciate your balanced view! You are indeed a rare gem of a voice of reason 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼😊❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Laina, you are a DOLL! I have always hated it when it was aimed my way, so I do my best not to over-promise or mislead. It also seems that lack of logic and reason makes us both crazy!
      xx, mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Sooooo true 👍🏼❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a feeling that those “gurus” market themselves and sell their stuff to the generation looking for instant gratification and, consequently, instant solutions. Another factor is the DIY trend: those who can make their own holiday decorations following a youtube video, are assured by the same “gurus” that similar principles are effective for achieving success. Totally intuitively, without any data to back me up, I’ll name one more factor: youtube videos are free, whereas coaching entails a cost. I am sure there is a number of additional factors, but my educated guess is that coaching is for seriously determined people who realized that something needs to be fixed and therefore hire a “fixer” in the same way as they would call an electrician or a plumber instead of getting hit by a current or drowning in a backed up toilet.
    BTW, loved the Brunhilda meme!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sure you are right about cost vs.free — but the gurus seem to be speaking to packed houses. Surely some of their young audiences paid for their tickets to instant success.

      I get a kick out of Brunhilda too. btw – have you read about the Baryshnikov/Brodsky Play. Sounds fascinating.

      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes I have, both of them are geniuses, in my humble opinion, and to my dismay, I will probably never get to see it! I think they’ll show it in Boston, though, so my son has a chance.
        Paying for a one-time instant ticket to success is not the same as making a commitment and investing into coaching, wouldn’t you agree?

        Liked by 1 person

        • I have a friend in Chicago who is chomping at the bit! I won’t be able to see it either, but I’m hoping someone will tape it to make it available to more people (even though taped performances miss so much that is only available live, IMHO, it’s better than not getting to see it at all).

          RE: weekend seminar vs. ongoing coaching — Of COURSE I agree, which one would expect, given what I’ve done for a great deal of my life. Thanks for giving me a chance to underscore that belief, Dolly.

          Ongoing accountability and support while new habits are being developed makes a huge difference, of course, but the understanding of the functional basis of what’s going on (along with personal application) is KEY.

          When that understanding is missing, we have no “flashlight” as we wander around in the dark. The aha! turns on the light — then we can stop falling into holes, and begin to move solidly forward to develop new individual-specific behaviors we can turn into habits.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Most certainly, that is what you are doing so well, educating the public, i.e. providing understanding. Unfortunately, the “instant gratification” crowd does not want it; they want instant solutions. I see the difference among my students: there are those who strive to understand development, brain processes, psycho-social conflicts, etc., and then there are – mostly Americans, sorry! – who ask for “teacher tricks.” I tell them that I have a huge bag of tricks, but I only bring it to the final class party after the final exam.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Good for you! Our public schools produce some fairly uneducated students here in the used-to-be-good-ole’ USA .

              With DeVoss in charge it will only get worse — especially if she is able to decimate public school funding and turn the system upside down with educational vouchers to the highest corporate bidders.

              My teacher tricks are:
              1-come to class,
              2-participate and
              3-take notes (on PAPER!)
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL Those are basics. Tricks go a lot further than that!

              Like

            • Well I have to save something for your party, right? 🙂
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh you sneaky wily adorable person! 😻

              Like

            • I’m simply following your brilliant lead. 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Welcome to Mutual Adoration Society! 😻

              Liked by 1 person

            • Absolutely – heheheh!
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL 😻

              Liked by 1 person

  4. You can find anything you want out there on the internet now, Madelyn. It being there, however, does not mean that there is any real truth in what the hosts are saying. Anyone can put anything on the internet really for any reason. As with all things in life you have to sift through all the nonsense and find the good stuff. There is really genuine and good advice out there given by great people, like you, you really know their game. It is a case of apply skepticism and reasonableness to find the worthwhile information.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the kudos, Robbie. And you are SO right about being able to find anything on the internet right now, That’s the good news/bad news of it — especially for folks with limited funds who can’t afford to waste money on failed attempts to find solutions. Sifting takes time!
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  5. Tina Frisco says:

    Well, Madelyn, you certainly have MY little grey cells firing on all cylinders! I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll just throw a few thoughts your way …

    Is the door really locked, or am i not knocking hard enough? Intention must be specific. Work with where you are, while keeping your eye on the goal. Be observant and realistic, but also flexible and willing to take risks.The views of all these gurus are not mutually exclusive; for to reach our goal, we must sit in the Jaguar Seat, a rein in each hand, balancing alternate forces, and ride our dream into realization.

    Need I say this is a brilliant post? You never fail to stimulate and motivate, my friend ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a WON-derful comment, Tina! I love the image of doing our best to hold ourselves aloft in the Jaguar Seat, swerving this way and that dodging obstacles that race by our chariots, hoping that our dreams will materialize before the ride is over, but loving the wind in our hair none-the-less. ::kisses::
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Christy B says:

    An apple a day keeps the doctor away… No, wait, not an apple… There are so many differing pieces of advice online, from blogs to websites to videos. You cover the topic well about how different approaches are necessary for each of us as we are unique – PLUS we might have to alter that path up the mountain, depending on the weather 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Christy B says:

      Also, thank you kindly for linking to the entrepreneurial post at my blog!

      Liked by 1 person

      • My pleasure, my friend. I love your blog, and find we often tackle similar topics. You make linking easy. 🙂
        xx,
        mgh

        Liked by 1 person

    • Well said, Christy – and your point about the weather is well taken. It blows some of us off track for a while and others to bits! I think we have all been up for the Bobby Burns award more than a few times, as our best laid schemes gang aft a-gley.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  7. dgkaye says:

    Excellent food for thought her M. So true, there are many avenues to explore, but it’s not a one size fits all for anyone. We have to keep searching to discover which means best suits are needs. And oh, I look forward to your internet offerings!!! 🙂 Hugs my friend. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Deb — I look forward to reading your new book over the holidays. Congratulations!!!!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • dgkaye says:

        Aw, thanks M. 🙂 🙂 xxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        • You are most welcome, my friend.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  8. -Eugenia says:

    I am a frequent social media user and I see and hear these guru types a lot. I don’t give them an iota of my time. Too many opinions from sources I am not familiar with. My experience from LinkedIn is if I see one article on “how-to…”, then I see ten more. I believe most of us are intelligent enough to form our own opinions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ultimately we must decide for ourselves, of course – but I often wonder who keeps these folks in business – their seminars usually seem to be quite packed. (I like to listen to podcasts, videos, etc. as I work, and every so often the gurus get themselves racked up and I get hypno-focused.)
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • -Eugenia says:

        A lots of folks wanting the good life and need something or someone to believe in. There are some good ones with good ideas.

        Liked by 1 person

        • MANY good ideas, Eugenia – my objection is that they each seem to be marketed as the BEST good ideas or the ONLY good ideas (with a subtle shame-and-blame aftertaste that we are creating our own problems because we don’t do it their way).
          xx, mgh

          Like

  9. Wonderfully said! This isn’t a one-size-fits-all. Everyone is different. Everyone responds differently to different actions, areas, just everything. Also, think you so much for the mention! I’m sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing – and you are most welcome for the mention. Loved your article – anything beyond 12-step solutions was news to me. SO glad to read there are alternatives. Thanks for sharing the results of your research.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  10. Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you again, Michael, for your amazing support of my articles – representing my thinking on what I am investigating in many formats. Bottom line, of course, is how we all can conduct ourselves and our lives so that we may LOVE the time we spend here on earth, so I wanted to investigate what the “success gurus” had to say on the topic.

      OMG! I may have opened the quintessential can of worms – LOL. 🙂 I’m sure I’m NOT the only person who believes that it is a factor of “different strokes for different folks” – but I sure spent many days worth of hours listening to folks who did NOT seem to believe it! Thus this article.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  11. paulandruss says:

    Great title followed by great advice Madelyn. Someone once said there are no wrong decisions (hmm I think that needs some qualification)- I think what they were driving at is exactly what you have said do something then follow it through as far as you can adapting it as you go but don’t be afraid to abandon it is it is counter productive.. But the key is do something. If you never take that first step…! Px.

    Liked by 1 person

    • VERY wise addendum, Paul. As they say, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Nowhere is it written that our roads won’t be long and winding, however. 🙂 — or that there won’t be forks and turn-offs.

      Gotta’ agree with you about that “no wrong decisions” maxim however. Always seems to me that it needs work!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • paulandruss says:

        You are right.. .That no wrong decisions one is like the road to hell….paved with good intentions! PXX

        Like

  12. Reblogged this on Words To Captivate ~ by John Fioravanti and commented:
    Madelyn Griffith-Haynie discusses strategies we might use to achieve our goals and emphasizes that our path to success will be unique since there is no universal formula. Please share…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, John, for reblogging. I had hoped I wasn’t the only one dismayed by the many types of advice I’d found around the ‘net! 🙂 Your support is quite a relief!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • I have always been frustrated and depressed by the “experts” on everything who can’t agree about anything!

        Liked by 1 person

        • It IS frustrating when we have to pick and choose our way through life, avoiding the “experts” rather than being able to look to them for guidance. In the olden days, we sat at the feet of our elders – and now folks seem to take their advice from recently graduated b-school corporate capitalists. ::sigh::
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • I don’t know how many videos I’ve sat through only to find out that their gift to the world will cost an arm and a leg. I don’t bother anymore.

            Liked by 1 person

            • And the first taste is always free – lol! It’s a toughie, however. I know how difficult it was to price my ACT curriculum when I launched the ADD Coaching field.

              I have no idea what people believed about tuition costs, but the truth is that I actually lost money on my training for YEARS, taking no salary and subsidizing running expenses from my private practice. I really believed the world needed more brain-based Coaches and TRULY wanted to use my life to make a difference in the ADD field.

              Looking back, I shake my head at my naivete, however. I had no marketing reserves and my grads were quickly able to outmarket me with my own material!

              If I had a do-over, I would have charged much more from the beginning and been much less understanding when earnest students requested further discounts, promising work/study efforts or repayment plans that never materialized. So I do know personally that you can’t simply look at what they are charging and multiply by the number of grads, assuming they are raking in the profits.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  13. GREAT post! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! ❤
      xx, mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Jennie says:

    This is excellent, Madelyn. Follow your path. Just because others have found a guru of sorts does not make it the right thing for you.

    Like

    • It sounds obvious when you state it simply, doesn’t it? Still, guru marketing can be MIGHTY tempting when we are struggling – especially financially.

      Best case scenario, others are eager to share what has worked for them and just don’t GET what they brought to the table individually and specifically that MADE that system work for them. They seem (to me anyway) to truly believe that ALL that is missing is the *motivation* to do what they did! And so they do the rah-rah or the shame and blame things, hoping to up the motivation factor.

      Worse-case scenario, they are encouraging folks to jump on some kind of band-wagon that is a quick trip to mega-wealth (mostly their own – lol).

      Taking a break during some web research, I recently investigated a *free* webinar offered by a guy whose video ad seems to be everywhere! My curiosity finally got the better of me.

      It starts with him introducing himself in front of a HUGE house he claims is his (mostly empty as we take the tour as he talks), explaining that he was recently poverty stricken and now has everything he dreamed of, so is offering a FREE webinar on how everyone else can do it too. No lie!

      LOL – he’s teaching how to spam, essentially. (You can PAY for the advanced class to learn how to get people to click and pay for the things you have chosen to “market” through your spamming techniques.)

      If it SEEMS too good to be true, it usually is. But, judging from the end of year increase in spam reported by all, I guess a lot of people are paying him for that advanced class. 🙂 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jennie says:

        Unbelievable. People just need a little help based on their personality, (like you do) if they find themselves loosing their grip on life. My grandmother often said something like that. 🙂

        Like

  15. mihrank says:

    There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah yes – a koan of great wisdom! Namaste.

      For anyone wondering: “koan — a riddle or puzzle that Zen Buddhists use during meditation to help them unravel greater truths about the world and about themselves” ~ Carol Kuruvilla | Huff Post
      xx, mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Ohh yes, I appreciate that some are out there trying to help others, but one size does not fit all. I have been listening to the videos on YouTube and concur with your gut reaction. I will pick on one that makes me rear up every time. Align yourself with the universal energy and all will be yours and if you’re not getting what you ‘want’ then you can’t be aligning properly. Mmmm, my response to that is rude. Society sets us up to measure everything and to achieve. The pressure can be huge, especially if someone is dealing with something sharp in life. All these ‘ways’ are expounded as if they are self nurturing and I sense they are the opposite. Thank you for writing about this. I feel that we are all doing our best, there is no ‘set’ answer and in sharing maybe we can spark a light that may help another. Hugs for you Madelyn. xX

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Jane, we are cut from the same cloth – equally annoyed by those chirpy little messages! If we are not rich (their first metric), happily “related” (their second), and attracting everything we want (ultimately their point), we are not doing it “right.”

      MORE TO THE POINT: If we are struggling – financially, physically, emotionally or in any other manner, we have somehow “attracted” it by something we are believing WRONG!

      BUT it’s okay – we can turn it all around by buying their tapes or books or flash cards, attending their seminars, etc. — ALL of which involve sending them money as OUR first step on our road to success.

      I don’t expect *anybody* to work for free, but sheesh! Even the money-obsessed cosmetics industry is not so bold as to suggest that their products will work for EVERYONE – or that failure to buy what they were selling was causative.

      Thanks so much for this comment. Hugs back.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, just a great big huge yes Madelyn. If I may just add a bit….you listen really carefully to the messages being given and the recipient is alway just missing things by a whisper. The ‘whisper’ is never defined, so they are always left feeling disappointed. Nothing concrete there, nothing solid that they can do. Just the feeling that they have created the loss in some way. I take personal responsibility in every moment, but this is the total opposite to empowering people to feel comfortable in their own self. Every one of us is unique.

        Thank you for your thoughts on this too. A sigh of relief at this end. xXx hugs x

        Liked by 1 person

        • Apparently there are A LOT OF US with this reaction, Jane, judging by the comments on this post. I needn’t have wondered if I were alone in my head-shaking! There have been a few “gurus” I wanted to slap or strangle as I heard what they had to say. 🙂

          I’ve actually heard more than a few self-styles “experts” say that ADD itself is simply “a limiting belief” that could be “thought away!” Of course, they’ve read NONE of the research studies, looked at NONE of the brain-scans, and spend ZERO time in the company of those they belittle before jumping in with their opinions and spreading them like a virus.

          It also makes me crazy when so-called educational experts like Sir Ken Robinson think it’s okay to make fun of ADD and ADDers.

          Stepping down from my soapbox now – LOL.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • It’s a worthy soapbox Madelyn. xXx

            Liked by 1 person

            • So gracious of you to respond with this – THANKS. 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  17. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Madelyn Griffith-Haynie explores the various and many ‘Recipes for Success’ on Youtube, blogging etc.. All the ingredients are different with some far out there preparation methods guaranteed to make you mind sharp and your body superhuman. We all have our own definition of success… when young it is usually the expectations of others that form our initial ambitions, parents, teachers etc.. at my end of the spectrum.. I have found that however successful I am deemed to be, if there is not a strong element of happiness, enthusiasm and excitement to keep doing it.. it is success in name only.. Madelyn would love you hear your views on the subject so please head over.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Sally – and, as always, your intro is fantastic. I worried a bit about publishing this one, since I didn’t want to live online forever as someone who was success-resistant or had some “fear of success” – lol.

      Judging from the comments I have received today (still coming in, thanks to you!), I guess I needn’t have worried. Apparently I’m not the only person who argues with these YouTube “Success” Gurus!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • I have interviewed a few ‘gurus’ in my time.. I think that I get a little sceptical when faced with a “21 year old Life coach” to interview. Personally I will consider it a great success if I fall through the pearly gates having been married for 60 + years, still have all my own teeth and be laughing. hugs xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        • I didn’t know whether to laugh or SCREAM when I read this comment, Sally. 🙂

          I didn’t want to take on the topic of age in this particular article but it wasn’t lost on me that, except for the spiritual gurus, many of these “experts” were, as they say, “still wet behind the ears” themselves – speaking to audiences that were just starting out in life. So much so that, as I watched and listened, one of my recurring thoughts was, “What?! Is everybody over 60 irrelevant now?”

          We Boomers are STILL, as a generation, the largest population bump, and we ain’t dead yet! Since life looks different when it’s viewed from a vantage point of a few decades or so, I find it sad to see so many “kid gurus” attempting to lead the way.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • To an extent ‘know it all ‘ applies to all of us in our youth.. until we find out different. It is about finding out place in the pecking order. It is not confined to youth either. I would listen to my mother and her cronies all in their late 80s and early 90s playing the one upmanship came.. especially when it comes to illnesses… if one had a new knee there would be great uninformed discussions on the causes, treatments and the fact that they needed two not just one replaced.. The most amusing to listen in on were their views on current affairs…..xxxx

            Liked by 1 person

            • Very funny, Sally – and right on, in my experience. My grandmother’s understanding of the news and resulting political opinions were hysterical — and she was always so SURE of them! And going back to Boomer youth, in America the meme was, “Don’t trust anybody over 30!” 🙂

              I sometimes wonder if the bottom line is physical ENERGY. Although I feel every bit as young and vital “in my head,” I no longer have the energy I choose to waste tilting at the windmills of my youth. The kids may call it “lazy” — I call it efficient. LOL
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • There is a lovely story about an old bull and a young bull standing on a hill looking down at a herd of cows.. The young bull says “let’s run down there and get lucky with one of those cows”, and the old bull says “Let’s walk down and get lucky with all of them”…..

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOVE it!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  18. I love the jack kornfiled quote.. it is true we have to do it our own way… we have to live our life… all others are taken ;O)

    Liked by 1 person

    • That one really spoke to me, too (that’s why it’s first!)

      I’ll tell you one thing, tho’ – that particular path in the Kornfield quote illustration looks cold and lonely to ME – LOL (but maybe it’s simply the snowy overlook?)
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  19. Lucy Brazier says:

    There are so many conflicting opinions out there as to how to achieve success, even about what success actually looks like! As you say, it is a personal thing and each person needs to find what works for them. The important thing is to know what it is you actually want, what your goal or ambition is and what it means to you, then what you are prepared to sacrifice in order to pursue it. I have to say, I do shut down my electricals and wifi every night before I go to sleep, mainly because the blinking stand-by lights drive me mad! I don’t know if it helps. but I generally sleep quite well. I don’t deliberately fast (I am a greedy thing, as you know) but when I am putting in a lot of hours writing I have been known to go a day without food. I’m always ravenous the next morning, though!
    xx

    Like

    • Based on how much you are able to do you seem to have your personal success systems fairly well figured out, Lucy. You know that one of my mottoes is, “Don’t fix anything that ain’t broke!” 🙂

      Curious – you shut down your electrical components AT the circuit box or simply turn things off in the room? Other than this particular guru, I’ve never heard from anyone who does the former (and have been unable to find any studies – especially on the difference).
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Lucy Brazier says:

        I know what works for me and it involves a combination of motivation, dedication, self belief and a little bit of luck. I always do the very best I can so succeed or fail, I can be proud. The system falls apart occasionally – then the recuperation system is implemented!

        In my bedroom I switch everything off at the wall plugs. If I need to set an alarm I use my phone and put it in flight mode. Not sure it makes a whole heap of difference in reality, it’s just a personal routine. I don’t do it if I stay with friends or family, just a weird quirk of my home life!
        Xx

        Like

  20. tmezpoetry says:

    YES!!! Thank you Madelyn. I was just thinking today how many statements about the ‘how to’s” in life go unchallenged and so you get a big thumbs up from me. This may be off base but even the positivity mantras at constant (and I get it, I do) that aren’t properly vetted by a realistic look on life during different times and situations.

    For example, I read one post about gratitude, the author compared being thankful for what one has to what someone else didn’t have and instantly felt- what a sham, off the backs of the less fortunate. At any point someone could be comparing our lives in that. And the truth is, our personal trials and challenges may be the better blessing over this gratitude comparison. Back to this post, you shared many wonderful truths here. One way doesn’t work for all. Hugs~

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for ringing in, Tammy. CLEARLY, you’ve been to some of these sites of which I write and have heard the guru-speak — with a reaction similar to mine!

      For me it’s not so much WHAT they say as how they say it. I get hooked, especially by the positivity sites, when the success of one becomes a should for all.

      If the current nonsense in today’s news teaches us nothing else, it serves as a clear example of how quickly “the mighty” can tumble!

      We need to define our own “rules” for success, and do our dead level best not to compare an outsider’s glimpse of a moment in the life of another to our insider knowledge of ALL of the moments of our own lives and find ourselves wanting!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • tmezpoetry says:

        Amen!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • ❤ Let us pray? 🙂
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • tmezpoetry says:

            Hahaha…well I did already but always willing to pray with you too 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • Yeah – me too. Ask and it is given? (but then there is that old joke about buying a ticket if you want to win the lottery heheh).
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • tmezpoetry says:

              Laughs, true and incidentally… bought one of them too 😛

              Liked by 1 person

            • I need to start doing that — literally. Those experts have convinced me that if I think correctly I can definitely WIN! 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • tmezpoetry says:

              Well the whole ‘You can’t win if you don’t play mantra’ in reality is something like this- ‘I would have been well off by now if I kept that money in the bank’ 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • That only applies to those who play often – I am talking about the miracle ticket I can surely “manifest” if I simply align my energy correctly 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • tmezpoetry says:

              Be at one with the lotto universe Madelyn 🙂 hehe

              Liked by 1 person

            • heheheh — quick follow-up on Turkey Day. My friend, an amazing cook, does not know you. 🙂

              She is back in Chicago through the end of the year, working out notice for her job, even tho’ she has already bought a house here in Cincinnati (where the dinner took place) and has a roomie who has already moved in.

              The universe is clearly NOT that small – LOL.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • tmezpoetry says:

              I figured as much with the timeline you gave before 🙂 Don’t mind me, I was avoiding shock therapy hahaha

              Liked by 1 person

            • Once you get past the holidays, everything will settle down, no doubt. Holidays activate all sorts of craziness!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • tmezpoetry says:

              Hugs, you’re so good to me 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • Simply tellin’ it like it is – with empathy, since I’ve been there.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  21. A great and informative read, Madelyn and I so agree with your words of reality. Today this is the fad going on everywhere with any guru coming and telling us all about spirituality and in return squeezing people and even these diet gurus and so on. All wanting to go into our brains and trying to make us do what they want. Thanks for the awesome share, it was worth every word of yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Kamal. I believe there more and more people today who are desperate for THE answer – seeking to avoid failure and poverty in today’s sad economic climate with its shrinking middle class.

      So, of course, there are a great many marketers eager to provide THE way. Some are sincere, some are money-grubbers, and many are actually helpful for some of the people they attract. NONE have the answer for all, of course.

      Still, it makes me more than a bit nuts to listen to how cock-sure most of them sound — not really realizing (or caring?) that they are making wrong most of the “students” who already paid to sit at their feet, as they troll for new acolytes. Only in the teeny-tiny print on their sign-up sites do we see the disclaimer: “results not typical.”

      A conversation with a small group of confused college students at Tink’s Cheers bar prompted this post. I hope that some of them, at least, bop over to see it.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Welcome Madelyn and yes I so agree totally with your words. Some are genuine but very few and there are others who want to make a quick buck and then all this farce. Night, night to you and little Tink, dear.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LOL – missed this somehow (left 13 hours ago – according to WordPress). So Tink and I have a few hours still before bedtime tonight (it’s not yet 6PM here, even though it is getting dark already).

          SInce we realize that YOU are just awakening in your part of the world, we both wish you a WONDERFUL day.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Oh thank you so much dear Madelyn and we are having impromptu rains in Mumbai as there was a cyclone in South India where many fishermen have died and now all the cyclonic rain has come to our side and maybe it will be there for the next 48 hours. So today no sun but very slight rays of the sun and they have declared a holiday for the schools and colleges but I have gone for work. This is our morning today but I love this weather.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I am so sorry to hear this, Kamal – sending prayers for the families of the fishermen as well as for your continued safety. Stay dry!
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • Thanks dear Madelyn for your support and prayers. We r all K from yesterday and the cyclone has passed its fury from Mumbai. We all r safe with the grace of God

              Liked by 1 person

            • I am so happy to hear that, my sweet friend. Tink & I are heading to bed early tonight, and we will both sleep more peacefully knowing you and little Amber are safe.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Welcome Madelyn and gn to both my dearies. Have a great sleep.

              Liked by 1 person

            • And you and Amber have a great day!
              xx,
              mgh (and Tink)

              Liked by 1 person

            • Thanks dear.

              Liked by 1 person

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