Flashback: Can This ADDer Be Saved? – Part 2


Katy Moves Forward

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

This week let’s take a look at some of the background details of the story begun in Part-one of this 4-part article, posted last Monday.

Click HERE to read PART 1 of this story

This part of the story outlines the steps Katy took to locate her support structures, leading up to her decision to hire Donna as her coach. Throughout this story I will continue to use “ADD” instead of the DSM-5 “ADHD.”  Click HERE to find out why.

 

A few Coaching Results from Clients themselves found HERE

You GO Girl!

After that fateful day when Katy Nolan finally “hit the wall,” she did something that is still rather unusual in the ADD universe: she began looking for a Coach immediately.

Since she was intimately aware of every little detail of her best friend and next door neighbor Barb Sitwell’s coaching sessions, Katy knew right away that she, too, wanted that kind of help.

Those first couple of years after diagnosis had been extremely frustrating for Barb, and both women could really see the difference in Barb’s life since she and Larry could finally afford to have Barb begin working with her Coach.

Katy believed she had all the ADD-info she needed

After all, she had been listening to Barb process every step since diagnosis, and they both had seen Barb’s many challenges for years before that, even though they only recently understood the reasons behind them.

Since she and her best friend were so very different, Katy wasn’t at all convinced
that it would turn out that she herself had ADD.

Still, she liked the idea of having some kind of guide to help her step through the process, identifying and prioritizing each of her own inevitable next steps following what Barb called Katy’s recent Boggle – no matter what the reason behind it turned out to be.

Whatever was going on, she was sure she didn’t have time to agonize over how to proceed without upsetting the tenuous control she exerted over the responsibilities she was already juggling.

Unlike their friends the Sitwells, the Nolans were a two-income family. They didn’t have to wait for a raise or a promotion to be able to hire the services Katy needed and wanted, and Katy couldn’t fathom finding the time or energy to add self-education to a schedule that was already jam-packed.

But which coach?

Although she trusted Barb’s Coach Donna already, and it was obvious from her work with Barb that Donna had a lot of information about ADD under her belt, Katy was initially concerned that the sessions would take place over the telephone.

She also wondered if hiring an ADD Coach before she
knew for sure if she even had ADD might be premature.

She was dubious of any advice to hire a Coach and a therapist, and more than a little ambivalent about the possibility of medication.  Still, she was more than ready to embrace any diagnosis that would offer an explanation for her feeling that she was always swimming against the current,” swept backwards every time she missed a single stroke!

After quickly mulling it over, she decided that placing a call for an appointment to check out her considerations and assumptions with Donna might be wise.

Besides, at this point, she didn’t know what else she might try.

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Fact Finding: Katy’s preliminary call with ADDCoach Donna

Donna acknowledged Katy’s concerns, and congratulated her for having the courage to confront them from the very beginning.

She assured her that it wasn’t necessary to actually have ADD to benefit from the brain-based, systems development focus of a comprehensively trained ADD Coach.

However, it could prove to be extremely important to work with a coach who had specialized ADD-specific training if it turned out she did.

She underscored the reality that nobody could medicate her against her will, and that Katy wasn’t even eligible for medication until she had a formal diagnosis.  She advised her to hold the worry until she had more information.

She encouraged Katy to investigate some other Coaches for comparison, especially those who worked in a different format.  

She advised her to attend the very next CH.A.D.D. meeting to ask people she met there for the names of their ADD doctors, coaches and therapists.

Finally, she gave her a web address with some pointers on what questions to ask to find qualified ADD professionals who were a good “fit”.

Describing the Concept of FIT

Donna explained that finding the right doctor, therapist, or Coach depended on many things besides training, information and appropriate level of skill, which were, of course, essential.

She compared the process of locating the best professionals for her to the one Katy used deciding to marry Paul.

If she thought about it objectively, Donna suggested, she would realize that, sexual chemistry aside, there had been nothing seriously wrong with most of her other boyfriends.

Paul just seemed a much better match for Katy’s personality, communication style, and interests.  He just fit.

Coaching and therapy are two different tools,” Donna went on to say.  “While not everyone finds they need both, it is probable that identifying and managing a possible ADD diagnosis will bring up a lot of psychological issues to untangle.”

She explained that additional issues frequently develop as a result of years of living without the diagnosis of any condition that warranted one. 

A therapist could also help her work through a great many family-of-origin issues, especially helpful if she did turn out to have ADD that was not discovered in childhood — issues resulting from undiagnosed ADD, but not necessarily ‘ADD issues,’ per se.

“You don’t have to be an emotional train wreck to benefit from therapy,”
Donna reminded Katy.

In explaining the differences, she told Katy that:

  • Together, she and her ADD Coach would focus on action as they expanded her knowledge of her particular “flavor” of ADD (or anything else).  They would develop a blueprint for accomplishment, taking into account her particular challenges, and step through it weekly.
  • Katy’s therapist would support further exploration of psychological issues, and would help her to develop a new world-view that encouraged her to incorporate her diagnosis without becoming defined by it. 

As their call concluded, she left Katy with the suggestion to call her boss the moment she hung up the phone to discuss the possibility of extending her report deadline.

KATY GETS INTO ACTION

Katy was unusual in another way — she took the coaching!
She began taking action steps immediately.

Her boss surprised her by being extremely reasonable about extending the deadline until the following Monday.

She actually commended Katy’s professionalism in giving her sufficient time to reschedule her own priorities and action-items.

By the end of the day, Katy had interviewed another coach who worked over the phone, emailed a “CyberCoach” who did coaching by email, scheduled an appointment to meet a Coach who worked face-to-face, and set up an appointment with Barb’s doctor to check out the possibility that she, too, might warrant an ADD diagnosis.  

(She did, of course, or that would be the end of our story!)

She told Paul to plan to take care of the kids so that she could attend the upcoming CH.A.D.D. meeting. She even found time to begin a rough draft of her report, despite little Mary’s constant requests for attention, quite unhappy with having to stay in bed with the measles.

She was surprised to realize that, once she felt the gun was out of her back, she actually enjoyed the process of putting together the report she delivered on the following Monday.

Katy was a woman on fire!

By the end of the weekend she had the names of several other doctors and therapists, and had decided to hire Donna.

THE EARLY STEPS

She quickly ruled out the CyberCoach. Work email was more than she wanted to have to handle!

Of the Coaches she interviewed, Katy felt that Donna was the best match for her own personality and communication style.  “Fit,” Donna called it.  She and Donna had a similar sense of humor, seemed to understand each other without a lot of explanation, and Katy felt comfortable opening up to her.

She took a deep breath, dialed Donna’s number, and told her she had decided follow her instincts, even though it entailed a weekly long-distance call.  The elimination of travel time and the easy availability of after-work appointment times were pluses, and she felt confident that Donna’s processing tips would make phone coaching workable.

She was also painfully aware that she was half afraid that she could have gone on interviewing coaches forever, which probably would make the process of choosing one to work with all the more difficult.

Anyway, she reasoned, she much preferred to spend that time gettin’ ON with it!

Katy learned a lot more about ADD and her own particular “flavor” in the six weeks it took her to create her preliminary action plan.

During that time she was a dervish.

She started a Coaching Notebook immediately, and set it up as Donna suggested, purchasing a 3 ring binder, several sets of tabbed dividers and a pack of her favorite kind of 3-hole paper with lines (NO hole punching!)

She was religious about keeping everything related to their Coaching sessions in her Notebook and having it in front of her for every call.

While Katy didn’t completely understand everything Donna was telling her about modalities and brain-based ADD-style processing at first, she noticed that more things made sense every week.

Barb laughed with Katy at Donna’s description of ADDers as “ahistoric” —

“Win the lottery on Monday, fall in love on Tuesday, get a new car on Wednesday, have to work overtime on Thursday and get stuck in a major traffic jam on Friday.”

Saturday: ‘How was your week?’
TERRIBLE!

Unless, of course, we have a record of the details in black and white (or a good friend like Kate to remind us, Barb always added).

You don’t think BARB took time to track, do you?

Katy began to hear a voice in her head that sounded a lot like Donna’s, reminding her to remember to practice square breathing whenever she felt the return of her frazzled pre-coaching self.  She was beginning to feel more in control every week too – less reactive to Boggle-Bait, as Donna called it. And she was finding new uses for her Coaching Notebook all the time.

Stay tuned for more of Katy’s story, along with the difference in Barb’s MUCH more erratic – yet highly successful – progress. (links to the next articles in their original format below, for anyone who can’t wait)

Can this ADDer be Saved?
(The entire coaching story, illustrating how coaching works in narrative format)

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Assorted articles about ADD and ADDCoach Concepts:

A few Articles in the Attention series:

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

44 Responses to Flashback: Can This ADDer Be Saved? – Part 2

  1. I think that it is important to find the right therapist for any mental condition, Madelyn. The most amazing thing happened this week. Greg had a lovely therapist but she moved away when he was 7 years old and we never really found the perfect replacement for her. I went to a meeting at Greg’s school on Wednesday and they invited the new school psychologist and it was our old therapist. She is going to see Greg once a week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s GREAT news, Robbie. Having the right support makes a huge difference.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  2. dgkaye says:

    Love the brilliant method you use to convey the various manners people handle their issues, and that no 2 diagnosis are the same. Your gift of making readers feel at ease to understand and learn methods to deal with issues is so natural, it’s like reading a conversational story and finding something of ourselves in it. ❤ Hugs M xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • What an amazing acknowledgment, Deb. Given YOUR amazing “conversational stories” in your books that’s high praise indeed. Thank you! ❤
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • dgkaye says:

        Aw shucks M. I love visiting your place ❤ xx

        Liked by 1 person

        • Awwwwww, Deb . . . how incredible to read that from YOU!
          xx, mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • dgkaye says:

            Just sayin’ 🙂 xxx

            Like

  3. Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks again, Michael. The glow of appreciation never fades.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  4. Tina Frisco says:

    Katy is a model for how to deal decisively with a difficult situation. She instinctively (or intuitively) forged ahead without knowing if she would receive an ADD diagnosis. She knew she needed to take action and didn’t hesitate. She is an inspiration ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • She is, Tina, thanks – but then there’s BARB! lol 🙂

      Barb has an entirely different way of doing things and will never be a Katy – but she does pretty darned well for herself too.

      Hopefully, the take-away is that we all need to work with our challenges by leveraging our personal strengths.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tina Frisco says:

        Work on your challenges by leveraging your strengths . . . Fabulous, Madelyn! I must remember that ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks, Tina — quickly copied from Part-4, where I tried to underscore that idea (just in case it didn’t come across with Barb’s story in Part-3, posting on Monday).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent post with great info, Madelyn! 🙂 Sharing… xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bless you, Bette. MUCH appreciated.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  6. paulandruss says:

    Madelyn, I thoroughly enjoyed Part 2. It really is like reading a really easy novel. You are just letting the words flow without realising how much good stuff is sinking in! That’s the way to do it!

    You have humanised the whole process wonderfully. Every one is scared about not being normal and admitting you life has got a bit of control. Whereas life a bit out of control at time is actually normal…. wish it wasn’t but it is!!!

    This is not done as a trivial process in your story but it is an easy process because it is a series of simple willing steps. You are not having to climb a mountain just keep putting one foot in front of the other and see where it leads. But we don’t do taht do we we fret and worry and Life is crap because the latest thing went awry we forget about what a great time we were having until that moment!

    And it is a excellent point about the therapist being the best fit for the client and that even an individual therapist will treat each client differently because they are sensitive to their needs and the personality.

    Can’t wait for Part 3 (Seen the links but I don’t want to rush ahead!) want to enjoy this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for letting me know, Paul. I especially appreciate your pointing out that I am informing as I tell the stories. I was hoping that reading a bit of impact in life and lifestyle would make the information make more sense to more people – demystifying the process and encouraging everyone to apply the ideas to their own circumstances.

      You are SO right that, left to our own devices, our tendency is to give in to overwhelm and stop taking even baby steps. We seem to do best with the right kind of cheerleaders to keep us on the path (which is a big reason why support groups like Weight Watchers tend to work well for so many people).

      I’m actually glad you’re waiting for the edited versions to post (I think they’re better and easier to read ::grin::). I’ll edit those links to point to the edited versions as each is posted – especially the upcoming Barb story.

      Barb’s process is probably closer to what everybody thinks their own lives are like. She succeeds without turning into a Kate.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • paulandruss says:

        I think advice often works best with people as an informative story (and quite nicely gossipy: like a friend telling you about a mutual friend). It stops one feeling preached at while instead inviting one along on a sympathetic character’s journey which one feels under no pressure to take on board. Hence the value of your baby steps within the tale because you are never saying where one needs to be or do, just that Katy did this little thing…. then maybe people think now if I did that little thing like Katy I wonder if … So for me the whole format is working brilliantly Pxx

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks, Paul — I agree that many folks respond best to stories. What’s interesting is that others do not. Many other folks seem to need a more direct – informational – approach for their brains to accept and relate to the information (and not the same info-approach there either).

          The important thing is not only to “Know Thyself” – lol – but to think about WHY you respond the way you do (as you just did) so you can expand that intentionally into other areas of your life.

          You are such a great info-connector. Paul (you see disparate threads as a tapestry), so I’m not surprised that you automatically relate the experience of others to your own experience and your own life.

          The BIG take-away is to inspire readers to stop making themselves wrong for not doing things somebody else’s way (make-wrong shuts us down — especially in our self-talk).

          EVEN if one is motivated by reading about the successes of others, if we unconsciously shut ourselves down for NOT doing what somebody else does the way somebody else does it, we get stopped.

          The second section of Part-3 concentrates on Barb – who is not a Katy, and unlikely to become one. The more she stayed on her own pathway, the better she did and the happier she was.

          One of my mentors (Thomas Leonard, coaching field founder) once said something to me that informs my entire life (and my coaching approach):

          “Most people spend their entire lives attempting to bring their areas of inadequacy up to adequacy. What could you achieve if you spent that energy bringing your areas of adequacy to brilliance?”

          Cool, huh? (this conversation makes me wonder if I need to follow up Katy and Barb’s story with a post for the folks who need to hear it a different way — hmmmmmm)
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

  7. reocochran says:

    I get something new out of everything you write, Madelyn. I think a dervish does sound like my grandson, who is 11, and does have a diagnosis of add. I feel bad he has to take the meds, even on weekends. Do you think he should get “breaks” from the meds? Also, he is very thin, do you think the meds create this effect?

    Thank you for being there upon my return to Ohio, dear friend! 💕 Hope you have a great, productive week!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much, Robin!

      I’d never “advise” without knowing the specifics, but I’m generally NOT a fan of medication breaks – nor are most of the ADD specialist experts, btw.

      Think about it – if the problem is 24/7 (and learning and focus is a 24/7 task), why would anyone advise a solution that was on and off?

      The GOAL is not to have a great “meds-free” life — it’s to be ABLE to do what you need to do. If meds are appropriate and work for you, once basic skills have been assimilated over time it get’s easy-ER to work without meds, but (in my personal experience) still a bit of a struggle for many of us.

      Using my favorite and oft-used metaphor of *crutches* – the name of the game is to GET down the street, not to *walk* down the street (and only an idiot would advise you to pull yourself along using arms alone to take a break from your crutches)

      I would love to muzzle all the “pills are the lazy way” proponents. I seriously doubt that those folks who are ABLE to focus and function “normally” would like me much if I could somehow turn that ability OFF to give them “breaks” – nor would they be as successful as they could be (and many are) if I could!

      Another analogy: meds are like glasses in this way – if you need them to focus, you WEAR them – you don’t take them off to give your eyes a break, do you? (Yes, I know that there are gurus who claim that you can “train” your eyes to see better, but I haven’t personally seen that work very well for *most* people).

      Yes, stimulant meds do dampen appetite. Adults can learn to divorce appetite from eating regularly, but my advice to Moms of “skinny” kids is to feed before medicating and “break the rules” about eating later at night (once stims are out of the system).

      HOWEVER, being thin is turning out to be a health advantage, according to the science – overweight causes the health problems. If his pediatrician says he’s healthy I wouldn’t worry too much about the fact that he is thin.

      Don’t take MY advice, however — follow the advice of his doctor. If you don’t trust the doc, find a new doc! NO doctor can help if you’re constantly second-guessing. Which is NOT to say that you don’t *discuss* misgivings with your professionals, but eventually it comes down to trust.

      Hopes this helps.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • reocochran says:

        Oh, I trust you and know you would not give your opinion without good research. When I had my youngest daughter (diagnosed at age 12 with JRA) on Vioxx, then Celebrex her rheumatologist doctor was dismayed at how her white blood cells turned on her red ones. Then, at age 21, she started crying since they suggested she may go to Columbus Arthritis Center, she hated to leave Children’s hospital. Once she started going there the rheumatologist on their staff said many meds eat away soft tissue, liver, intestines and stomach lining. Taking Prilosec wasn’t working, she was bleeding in samples of urine and stool. I just worry about Landen who is very thin and small for 11 years old. . . Just to let you know the “why” behind my question, Madelyn. Thank you for your sincere and thoughtful response! hugs xo

        Liked by 1 person

        • My pleasure, Robin. As I tell clients and parents everywhere, “average” and “majority” are statistical terms. YOUR child is a majority of one – meaning that individuals almost *all* differ from “the norm.”

          STILL, it’s good to know how *most* people respond so you know where to start and what to look for when you tweak.

          I hope somebody has taken taken a CLOSE look at what both kids are eating — BEYOND food-lobbiest driven FDA approvals — i.e., look at the “food as medicine” (functional medicine) approach.

          NOT to encourage anyone to overlook or demonize medical science (if you can locate the straight skivvy, which is generally NOT what our governments are saying), but what we eat manifests in either better or worse health (including brain health).

          I hope your daughter has now found a healing protocol that’s working for her.
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

  8. This is an interesting post. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about myself. I’ve also learned a lot over the years. My main problem was the fact my now-deceased husband–age 86– was bipolar. He never admitted it and wouldn’t take medication unless he was hospitalized or–at the last–had a caregiver after he broke his hip several years ago and didn’t want surgery. — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh how sad to read, Suzanne – for both of you.

      Bipolar is a tough challenge, as you know. And *most* with that dx don’t take it as seriously as needed, getting out in front of those manic swings. What’s especially hard is that is that the early stages of mania FEEL good, and once they’re over the edge they’re almost impossible to reach.

      NOT to demonize, however, I have a friend with “brittle” bipolar that does EVERYTHING right and still lands in the hospital every couple of years (with more than a few crazy examples of manic acting out in between those). SO sad, because she is exceptional during the times she is balanced (probably true with your husband for you to have stood by him for so long).

      But I haven’t seen or heard of many that extreme. For MOST it *can* be managed, but it is certainly not an easy task since there are a lot of pieces to that puzzle – and they are only “reachable” during times when they are relatively balanced.

      I believe that learning about ourselves is a lifetime task. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about myself either – even after a lifetime of seeking. The rise of the internet is a good news/bad news story — so much conflicting info on every single topic to sift through now, it’s hard to find sources to trust. My aim is to become one of those trust-worthy sites.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  9. Norah says:

    Wow, Madelyn. There’s so much to learn, and you have so much to teach on your site. I’ve learned so much in this one sitting tonight. I need to come back many times to learn more. Thank you for making information about ADD so readily available.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Norah. ADD (and “sister” challenges) can be a HUGE problem – but they don’t have to be!

      A little understanding of how to work with and around client-specific challenges – and some changes set in place habitually can turn most former problems around *relatively* quickly (what we work on most in coaching, btw – that follow-through piece).

      Thanks for ringing in – I really appreciate it.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Norah says:

        It’s great to hear that most problems can be turned around relatively quickly. I’ll be popping back for more learning from your informative site. Thank you. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thank YOU, Norah. I shall look forward to your visits.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Norah says:

            As do I! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  10. Lucy Brazier says:

    Katy is very brave to tackle the problem head-on, but that is obviously the thing to do. I wonder how many people wish they had got the right help earlier? This is fascinating, following Katy’s story.
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Lucy. It’s a little tricky to put stories together that explain the format without “outing” specific individuals, so It warms my heart to read that this story-based format is working for you. I wish I could tell all of the details of EVERY client’s real story – I’m not kidding when I say I see miracles all the time.

      If I had a magic wand I’d zap everyone to coach with me at the FIRST sign of a problem (and *make* them listen to me the first time – lol – dream on!) But, as I disclosed, “Katy” was rare. Clients usually don’t call me until things are about to fall apart (or after they have). But I’m not sure how “brave” this fictional Katy was as much as doing what that particular client “type” does with many things in their lives.

      The “driven” piece of composite Katy is based on a hyperactive client who was almost a “bull-in-a-china-shop” go getter (a guy, btw – even tho’ women are generally quicker to come to coaching).

      That client’s biggest problem was actually balance – he was always wearing himself out because he – seriously – charged on as if he truly believed he could do it ALL (until he was literally exhausted every single day).

      We had to work with him to put a lot more thinking-things-through into his life to make sure he took better care of himself. That included boundary technology — and developing the habit of setting effective boundaries vs. his “easier to do it myself” default that encouraged his family, friends & colleague to inadvertently take advantage of his proclivity. And BOY did he make them wrong for that!

      After a year with me – fun fact – his limp-along marriage totally turned around and they became true partners – even tho’ we never worked on that relationship *directly*. That’s not rare, btw.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lucy Brazier says:

        I used to be a little like that, thought I could do everything all at once and could never admit defeat in anything. More than once I worked myself quite literally into the ground, collapsing in exhaustion and making myself ill. It was only when a collapse happened in front of my mother and she got worried, that I thought I should readjust my approach. I still take on more than is sensible from time to time, but now I make time for myself, friends and relaxing to keep my life more balanced. Reading your blog has been a huge help, actually, as it stopped me feeling guilty about not being able to do everything, all the time. It has also given my some great coping mechanisms and just understanding a little bit more about how our brains work has been a revelation. Thank you!!
        xx

        Liked by 1 person

        • WOW, Lucy! If I ever start a “praise for the blog” page, this comment from you will be the first one I’d grab. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

          Isn’t it amazing how much simply being AWARE of what we do changes our choices (especially when you notice you’re getting closer to the dysfunctional edge).

          What a shame that ALL of us “guilt” ourselves to charging harder when we need to pull back. (me too, btw – it’s not easy to overcome many years of misguided “just DO it” societal memes).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Lucy Brazier says:

            You deserve every bit of praise, you are doing very important work and educating us all in the most beautiful and straight forward way.
            I notice now when I’m getting run down, there are signs – not sleeping too well, a nagging ache in my left shoulder, becoming irrational and whatnot – and I make a conscious decision to slow down, take a breath and not get myself all worked up.
            You’re right, society has a lot to answer for – none of us should ever feel guilty about taking life at our own pace. Even superwomen like you!
            xx

            Liked by 1 person

            • lol- superwoman I most CERTAINLY am not – especially as I get older. As long as my brain keeps working I can write, but you’d run away screaming if you could see my apartment these days. We ALL must pick our priorities.

              Yes, my lovely friend, your body is telling you to slow down a bit once in a while ASAP (and maybe take a few long weekends in your jammies until your shoulder feels better) – resting, even if you don’t sleep, maybe reading (even editing) as you lounge.

              GREAT news coming out on the value of play to health, btw. So if lounging doesn’t appeal, go have some FUN!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lucy Brazier says:

              I would never run screaming from your apartment, I can assure you! An apartment with a friend in it is just perfect as it is.
              I am really getting the hang of resting up, so don’t worry – I have even taken up a couple of silly hobbies to divert my mind and body from work! I’ve got this!
              xx

              Liked by 1 person

            • What a lovely comment – but you haven’t SEEN my apartment lately. 🙂

              No hobby is silly, btw – they’re BREAKS!! And good for you for taking them up. I know you love to dance, Lucy – crazy healthy for your body AND your brain! Tink and I dance around in my office (after making sure the blinds are closed of course ::grin::)

              I’ve read on your most excellent blog what’s coming up for you (congrats, btw), so your challenge is going to be “making” yourself do what you know as you continue to get more popular.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lucy Brazier says:

              With you by my metaphorical side, I know I will okay, Madelyn 🙂
              xx

              Liked by 1 person

            • Awwww . . . But just okay? I want to watch you FLY!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lucy Brazier says:

              Tell the stars to get out the good china… I’m on my way 😉
              xx

              Liked by 1 person

            • Yes you are! So very cool.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

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