A Fathers Day Reblog


Homage to Brandy – the most amazing man I never knew

Happy Fathers Day!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Reflections Post

The quick intro

I wrote the following post about a year after my father’s death, honoring what was inarguably a most incredible life.  I just wish I’d known more about it!

Interestingly, I have had reason to refer to this post several times in the past month alone, so I’m taking the nudge to reblog it for anyone else interested.

I’m hoping that it will encourage any of you lucky enough to still be able to speak with your parents to pester them for answers to those questions that still remain.

PARENTS: If your adult children do not really know you
– and you, them – what on earth on you waiting for?


 

My father was born today . . .

Although he was a difficult man to know, and a very tough man to grow up with, I adored him every bit as much as I railed against many of his actions and decisions throughout my life.

And I never doubted for a minute that he loved me very much.

It’s just that he had such an unusual way of showing love – almost as if the most loving thing he believed he could do was to protect those he loved from the cares and responsibilities that he thought were his alone to bear.

And, to Brandy, life itself was a responsibility. So his life seemed always cloaked in secrecy.

He made his world debut on November 20th, in Toledo, Ohio – approximately 90 years before his swan song. He shuffled off his mortal coil in October, 2012, the third loss of someone close to me that I was forced to find some way to deal with in that month.

  • Coming to closure has been a particularly difficult task – for a few reasons besides the grief that most of us experience after the death of our last remaining parent.
  • I’m still attempting to come to grips with the fact that
    I no longer have a shot at ever getting to know the man.

I believe I can now relate to the adoptee urge to locate their birth-parents. We all seem to have an innate yearning to know our roots, and most of us want to know and understand our own personal histories.

  • My sister was into genealogy.
  • I would be more than content to know the truthful and even minimally fleshed-out stories of the members of my immediate family circle.

Since my father’s death, I’m coming to believe that I am nowhere close to fulfilling that desire.

Remembering what I know

“Brandy,” the man who died about a year ago as I write, was a retired military scientist. He may or may not have had undiagnosed, extremely high-functioning Asbergers.

He most certainly was a man who was incredibly gifted intellectually with, shall we say, less than top-notch intimacy and connection skills – even though he was otherwise one of the most universally competent individuals I’ve ever met, and fairly universally liked.

  • His Ph.D. project, under the advisorship of Albert Einstein and Edwin H. Land, was to develop a camera with a lens that had a shutter speed capable of photographing the first atomic bomb flash.
  • At least that’s how the story was told to me.
  • I was also told that somewhere among the photographs I have requested as one of the few things I wanted my brother to send me from my father’s “estate,” is a photo of me as a baby: that particular camera’s first human subject.

Amazing, right?

It was quite an outside-the-box feat of engineering to solve that concentrated flash-of-light problem, given what the intensity of the bomb flash was likely to do to any film stock possible with the technology of the time.

A sequence of rapidly rotating polarized lenses, anyone?

Those who are paying attention have probably also suspected that, even as a Ph.D. candidate, he must have held one of our country’s highest security clearances to know there was going to BE a “first atomic bomb flash.”

He did.

And everyone knew him as Brandy

His legal name was Millard Earl Griffith, by the way. You really can’t blame him for deciding to keep the nickname given to him by one of the “regular” barmaids serving the libation rounds when he was in college, I believe, or shortly afterwards.

“You’re the scotch, you’re the gin, you’re the beer, and you’re the Brandy.”

BrandyDecanterSometime his friends jokingly used “the” as part of his name, but it was many years before I got up the nerve to ask him why.

That was his drink of choice back then – and has been mine for many years now. Even though he was the one who gifted me with my cherished crystal brandy decanter, I can’t recall ever toasting each other over a snifter of brandy.

He also made a mean hot buttered rum – yet only once did he make them for the two of us to drink together.

In his later years he had moved on to bourbon – Old Crow – which had something to do with a group of WWII fighter pilots who still kept in touch, identifying themselves by that name.

Many of them went on to pioneer the space industry, as did my dad — and became card carrying members of The Old Crow Chapter of the Turtles
(and yes, “You bet your sweet ass I am” — get your minds out of the gutter!)

So now you know almost as much about his life as I do, and almost more about me than I know about him.

Please don’t misunderstand the place that alcohol played in Brandy’s life – or in mine. Although it seems that my lineage is one of the white-Anglo-Saxon-Protestents who came over on the Mayflower, we’re really not of the five o’clock cocktail drinking WASP persuasion. It’s simply one of the few things I know about him at all.

Military Secrets . . .

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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

84 Responses to A Fathers Day Reblog

  1. A great tribute to an amazing person; the more I read about your father, the more impressed I am with some of your inherited traits.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Dolly. My father would beam – but I think my mother deserves some serious pats on the back – especially for her people skills and empathy.

      I hope Fathers Day was a happy day of fond memories for you. Mine was one of the nicest I’ve spent since becoming “an orphan,” and certainly since moving to Cincinnati.

      Tink and I walked down to the Sunday Nite Trivia event at his Cheers Bar and ended up staying until “last call” – talking and laughing with a group of delightful people who all knew each other a great deal better than they know me.

      It started raining almost immediately after Trivia ended (it’s a patio event whenever possible) and rained for hours — so we were all grouped closer together than usual, around a couple of tables pushed together under a cabana-like structure. The majority of people went inside and stayed there – but anyone who came out joined the rest of us, no questions asked.

      It was like being at a great party at a good friend’s house, and one of the only times I’ve felt “at home” in Cincinnati . I haven’t laughed so hard or so much since I left NYC! Who knew that rain could be such a community builder? Cooled things down considerably too.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am so glad to hear about your nice, warm, and comfy day! Mine was still sad, since it’s only the second year without my father, and we always took him out for shishkebabs which he loved, and generally made a big deal out of it. I still very much feel the emptiness. We couldn’t sail because of the weather, so I just made a nice lunch for my husband and baked a special cake. He was happy, which made me feel better.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I know you started your blog to help with your grief, so I can imagine even blogging on Fathers Day is a bit of a trigger. It gets easier as time goes by – but never really better. Which I think is far easier to accept than the idea that we would *ever* forget them or what they mean to us.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • You’re right, of course, and with time, it doesn’t get easier to bear the loss, but we gain strength to deal with it. Right now, everything is still a trigger.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I understand – and empathize.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Thank you.

              Liked by 1 person

            • You’re very welcome, Dolly. I wish I could do more.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • As you yourself have written, empathy means a lot.

              Liked by 1 person

            • It does help considerably to know you are not alone and that people care.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • It certainly does, and little tokens of attention are priceless. My son just sent me two cans of new Lilly coffee flavor – Guatemalan. Unexpected, and so dear to me!

              Liked by 1 person

            • How considerate of him. I know you’ll enjoy every single drop.

              At a time when I was struggling and knowing how much I love coffee, my sister sent me a coffee mug with “I [heart] my Sister” on it. It is especially dear to me since they were strapped financially with her medical expenses, so it was practically an extravagant expense, even to mail it.

              Now that she is gone, I treasure it even more.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I am sure it is your favorite coffee mug! My son (he should be healthy and well and live to 120) inherited my father’s caring trait, including random acts of kindness. What’s especially endearing is the sharing part; he loved the new flavor, so he shared. When he likes a book or music, he sends it to me, and then we talk.

              Liked by 1 person

            • What a doll! I have always judged how a man will treat ME by how he treats his mother.

              And yes – that cup is on display in my kitchen (I’m actually afraid to use it anymore, lest I break it)
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I can relate to that, very much!

              Liked by 1 person

            • I’ll bet you can. I’m careful generally, but things happen & I’d be heartbroken all out of proportion to the loss of a cup. I prefer caution.

              My young friend Jason seems to break things just by looking – lol – stemmed wine glasses especially. So when he comes over he only gets non-stemmed. His idea, btw – and he found stemless wine goblets somewhere and gave them to me with a bottle of wine. 🙂

              The cup is out of his reach!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Stemmed wine glasses are destined to fall victim! I keep some plastic ones for guests who go outside to sit in the courtyard which is common area.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I love drinking from stemmed glasses, but gave up crystal stems long, long ago after trying not to cry as each was broken by one extremely contrite guest after another. 🙂

              Now I get only glass – and from a thrift store – so I can truly mean it when I smile and say, “no matter.”
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Glasses break for good luck, as do plates and other dishes. Our tradition is that mothers of bride and groom break a plate together at the engagement, and the wedding ceremony concludes with the bridegroom stepping on a glass and breaking it. It is meant to remind us of the destruction of the Temple and centuries of exile, even in moments of joy. With a tradition like this, how can we cry over broken crystal?

              I serve crystal for company, but on weekdays we usually use stemmed glass. I don’t allow anything but plastic to be taken outside, though, because it’s a condo, and it’s a common area, and if,G-d forbid, something breaks, there will be shards and pieces of glass where kids and pets play.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Early in my acting career I played Tzeitle in “Fiddler on the Roof” – the one who got married first – so I did know about the glass breaking from that. I was not aware of the engagement tradition, however – or the reason behind either. Always something new to learn from you. Thank you.

              I smiled at the reason for ONLY plastic outside – so very YOU to be concerned about the little ones.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I believe I read “The Stranger” at the age of about 14 (it was one of the forbidden books), and it made an indelible impression – “as long as you don’t hurt anybody you encounter…”

              Liked by 1 person

            • That can be a razor’s edge sometimes – especially with words – but an excellent endeavor.

              How did you manage to get your hands on a forbidden book – especially at that tender age?
              xx,
              mgh
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I’ve read quite a few forbidden books; it was the thing to do for young intellectuals,and 14 was not considered a tender age. I went to college at 15.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I was born just beyond the cusp of the age you needed to be to begin school here in Ohio (where we were stationed at the time), so I was always almost a full year older than my classmates. I was 17 when I graduated HS.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • But if you were older, how did you graduate earlier, rather than later?
              I never attended HS. There was a system in my times that allowed students who went for certain majors to start college after 8th grade and take HS classes in college. For Arts colleges, like mine, you’d have to pass auditions / present portfolio of work, and for techies, like my brother, there was an insanely difficult set of entrance exams. However, to be honest, once you got in, nobody cared about anything but your major. It was a star-making system. That’s why my math and science knowledge is on the level of Russian 8th grade (which is still higher than American college level, but who cares?)

              Like

            • I may be remembering my age at graduation incorrectly, but practically the minute I hit college I was a year older than most of my classmates.

              I have always believed it gave me an advantage, cognitively, and recent science is backing me up on that one. It seems that, except for those with early signs of exceptional intellects, younger students are DISadvantaged — especially in the early years when the basics are laid down and attitudes toward learning are developed – and it dominoes. Maturity seems to matter more than we realized.

              There are some school systems here in America that facilitate early college starts. I have a ex-student in Oregon whose son was allowed to leave HS during his Junior year to complete his High School education while attending college. That system allows a sort of “double credit” for many of the college basics. He was home-schooled for almost all of his early education, so she is rightfully proud of him. I worry about the socialization aspects of his education sometimes, however.

              Except for the performing arts, where there is a clear advantage to being younger when you hit the workforce, I’m not sure that pushing students to achieve intellectually by “skipping” peer engagement makes for the most balanced individuals OR the most effective society.

              YOU obviously managed it well, but I don’t think many actually do. In an ideal world we would leave students with their peers and offer supplementals for intellectual challenge (including credit for teaching younger students – the best way to really learn something IMHO).

              But education in America is FAR from ideal, as you well know (and likely to get much worse, no doubt, due to the crazy thinking of Orange & Co.)

              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I beg to disagree. I am by far not the only one who managed it well; there were millions – USSR was a huge country! The intellectually formative years are 4 – 7, following the inquisitive age. If children are given intellectual stimulation during the inquisitive age, reinforced by correctly structured instruction and motivation during the formative years, nobody will have to push them; they’ll crave further intellectual development. This is your basic Piaget and Erikson, and if one’s peers are on the same intellectual years, socialization proceeds on a level much higher than Snapchat.

              Even though Lev Vygotsky was another no-no name in Soviet Russia, his theory of proximal development was implemented as a basis for the entire educational system. What you are describing as “ideal” is actually John Dewey experiential method. It does have its advantages, certainly, but it does not allow for balanced intellectual development or working discipline. Incorporated into an intellectually stimulating well-structured classroom, however, it is very effective.

              With all due respect to the US system of education, research done in the 80’s indicates that 85% of Americans NEVER reach formal operational level of cognitive development, i.e. they are stuck at the age of about 12 – 13. Does that sound like the world we live in?

              Liked by 1 person

            • 12 – 13 might be overstating the median intellectual age of 85% of our populace today, looking at the voting habits of millions of Americans especially – with all “due” respect to the US system of education.

              As for snapchat – I believe that practically *anything* is “on a level much higher” – mostly post after post vomiting trivial details in a pretense of engagement with as many “friends” as one can accumulate. Truly, I don’t get the appeal of any of those “instant connection regardless of merit” formats. Sad comment on society today, IMHO.

              You make a good point about the downside of the Dewey system — the value of “working discipline” i.e., linking effort to accomplishment, intellectual or otherwise.

              I believe we agree on the importance of intellectual stimulation in the early years – which far too few children ever receive when their parents have been poorly educated themselves in schools that are a hot mess, to use the technical term. The importance of developing thinking skills seem to have been thrown under the easy metrics bus.

              LOVE your comments, Dolly.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh, I do understand the appeal of “instant” connections: burning need to belong, to be accepted. Again, we are talking about so-called adults who are stuck on early teenage age level (that’s basic Maslow’s Hierarchy).
              Since they do not fit with a more intellectual /cognitively higher peer group, they shop for what they can get.
              American education philosophy based on the 3 R’s (Reading, wRiting, aRithmetics) has been riding that metrics bus since its inception – it goes back to colonial times, and it’s quite deliberate. Both Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin fought against it (it being the philosophy underlying the system), with negligible results. Thus, a pattern of parents being poorly educated goes back to the pilgrims!
              …and I love your comments, so let’s open a mutual admiration society!

              Liked by 1 person

            • The 3-Rs are important, of course – but the over-focus has always been targeted toward grooming a workforce more than truly educating a populace. It was touted as a stepping stone, but has been actuated as a goal.

              Sad to me that so many students from other countries come to America for higher education while so many here lack the money or educational background to partake. It is almost as if higher education is now thought of as little more than another money-making industry in selfish Corporate Capitalist America.

              It will be devastating if de Voss succeeds in turning increasingly defunded public schools into the ONLY “choice” possible for millions of citizens of this once-great nation if their tax schemes are allowed to divert funds to vehicles that increase the “choices” for the wealthy and exceptional, privateering our system to their own economic ends.

              Hardly the approach likely to “make America great again.”

              With every new announcement I weep for what has happened – and IS happening – to the country I used to be proud to call home. And now it looks like the aim of this administration is to rule over a land where millions are SICK as well as uneducated.

              What is WRONG with those people?
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • You are absolutely right about training workforce rather than educating the populace – that has been the philosophy, and it never changed, under any administration.
              Colleges and universities have become commercialized about 15 years ago. Professors are called providers, and judged by retention, i.e. the amount of tuition money they are bringing in. In research-geared institutions, professors are also evaluated by their grant-writing skills and the amount of ant money they generate. Academic environment is not truly academic any more.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Sad, sad, sad – short-sighted and disgusting. And THAT’s pulling my punches!
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • PS. Today, June 21, is my sister’s birthday. I hope the angels are throwing her a party.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • If you ask them nicely, they surely will, and your remembering her birthday counts as asking. Another tidbit of my grandmother’s wisdom.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I wish I’d had a grandmother like yours. She sound delightful and dear. I love the tidbits you share.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Thank you. Yes, she was very special, and so were all her sisters, may they all rest in peace, so I attribute it to their mother, my gentle great-grandmother from whom I, unfortunately, have not inherited any character traits.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Perhaps not the “gentle” – but I’m willing to bet everything else. You are always so very gracious.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Definitely not gentle – I am quite ruthless when I have to be. Albert Camus said in “The Stranger” that we go our own way, as long as we don’t hurt anyone we encounter. To me, this is the definition of graciousness: to make sure you not only “do not hurt anyone,” but also try to make everyone feel comfortable. However, if I have to fight,

              Liked by 1 person

            • We are alike in yet another way, Dolly. I believe we are on this earth to support one another – and nobody gets enough acknowledgment.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I don’t care about acknowledgement very much,as long as things get done. But yes,I also believe that we are alike.

              Liked by 1 person

            • For many (and for me) acknowledgement is wind beneath wings that frequently get weary. For something like getting appropriate care for a loved one, I’m right there with you – a successful result is the only thing that matters.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I am aware of it, of course. But again, I choose my battles where I fight to win,and if I lose, I see it as a learning experience.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I’m guessing you get most of your learning elsewhere then. 🙂 I can’t imagine you lose many of the fights you have taken on in your life.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Not many,but some. Only He is perfect; we are not.

              Liked by 1 person

            • This part of “we” is far from it! 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • One never knows,does one?

              Liked by 1 person

            • One never knows the whole story, in any case.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • got cut off…
              If I have to fight, I don’t fight to fight – I fight to win. The medical, nursing, and home attendance care I got for my father is something that simply DOES NOT HAPPEN in Florida (this is not New York!), and nobody could believe it, but it was needed, so I did it.

              Liked by 1 person

            • GOOD FOR YOU! I’m not surprised, however – you are one of the most intentional people I’ve ever met (albeit virtually).

              So sad that such strong advocacy is necessary to get good quality care in America’s health care system. And when we are ill or aging it’s difficult to advocate for ourselves. I wish everyone had a Dolly on their team.

              Not to dip into politics, but it is likely to get worse with the attitudes of our current administration, so all of the fighters will become increasingly more important – especially (as you already know) where mental health needs are concerned.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I like the term”intentional.” We have a saying,”The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I think it’s more like determined and persistent.
              I don’t want to get into politics,but it’s on the state level,not federal. Everything is possible by a) not leaving any stones unturned,i.e. researching in depth,and b) getting on the phone and asking for the person on top.

              Liked by 1 person

            • My friend Cindy always asks this question of whomever answers the phone:
              “Who is the person most likely to lose his or her job if [insert potential consequence of not getting your way here] were to happen? I need to speak directly with them.”

              AMAZING how quickly she is able to get to the right person.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Excellent approach – I love it!

              Liked by 1 person

            • Me too – I howled with delight when I first heard her use her technique – helping me get through to solve an ongoing problem that was driving me NUTS and practically shutting down my business.

              Somebody oopsed and MY fax number was given to a bazillion hospitals so I was getting – literally – reams of private patient records. The insertion in this case was “…if we were to share these with the press after we call the patients directly.”

              WHAM! She got right through.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL I am sure she did!

              Liked by 1 person

            • I wish I could have seen the look on the face of the person she was speaking with – as well as hearing first-hand how she was responding.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL

              Liked by 1 person

  2. daisymae2017 says:

    Interesting Read. I hope everyone takes time to read it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Crystal – it was a bittersweet journey for me, but one I felt compelled to undergo.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • daisymae2017 says:

        Your Welcome. Just a note, I closed the poll daddy pole but if you want to give your opinion or thoughts just put them in the comment section.

        Liked by 1 person

        • That’s how most people handle it. Good job!
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • daisymae2017 says:

            Found another site that used polldaddy and had the same problem. Told them to look into it. If you want to answer the poll just put your answer in the comment Section. OK?

            Liked by 1 person

            • Will do, but as I said, I don’t really have time for polls, etc. I’m doing good to keep up with reading and writing. 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • daisymae2017 says:

              Only if you have time.

              Like

            • Thanks for understanding.
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • daisymae2017 says:

              I understand. polldaddy is closed but comments are open.

              Liked by 1 person

  3. What a great post, a great tribute, a great man. Wow one can see the apple with all its spender did not fall far from the tree. Thank you for once again sharing your world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks once again for being willing to read about my world – and for the acknowledging comment. I believe I got my intelligence and drive for competence from both parents, but my sense of empathy clearly came from my mother. lol

      Have a great Fathers Day. Did Emma get you a present? 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Isn’t it awesome to watch and see the traits we get from our parents and how the blend creates the us in us. Emma gave us the greatest gift of all…. love! We’re sure Tink heaped this upon you too!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yep – he’s a cuddle bunny. He decided to go back to sleep while I drink coffee – resting up before we brave the heat. Neither of us are fans of summer!!
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Summer finally has come here too. It feels good to finally have warmth.

            Liked by 1 person

            • lol – I am not quite so friendly toward summer “warmth” as you put it. I’ll take chilly and happily throw on another layer of clothing, thank you very much. 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL. We know what you mean.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Mid-70s is about as hot as I like it – but I do know that some folks love to spend time in what feels to me like a pizza oven! — “but it’s dry heat” lol (vs what – a steam bath?)
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing this post, Madelyn – I wasn’t around when it was published originally. I have regrets around not knowing much about my parents personally. I believe that their generation played it pretty close to the chest where their kids were concerned. I often wonder how well my parents knew my grandparents.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Our grandparents generation was a product of the “children should be seen and not heard” point of view – so probably not a lot of authentic bonding resulted from that (except sibling to sibling).

      After birth control became fairly reliable, I wonder why people wanted to have kids if they didn’t intend to get into close relationship with them. A hormonal yearning? People like babies and little kids but not once they begin to become “real people” ???

      IMHO, both sides miss a lot to remain distant.

      Thanks for reading, John.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • I don’t think our parents were raised to think that child rearing would include close personal relationships with their kids. I thought it was a good thing to teach my kids by telling them stories about my own childhood/school years. Certainly, we could relate more as adults once they were adults themselves. I guess all we have is conjecture.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’ve often joked that, instead of saving for college, parents should begin a therapy fund for their offspring shortly after birth. 🙂 It seems that whatever they do, the kids wanted it done some other way. lol

          STILL, I think getting to know the humans who raise you can’t be a bad thing! Conjecture is so often misleading – or flat-out wrong!
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

          • I agree – I would have liked to know my parents better and I pray my kids won’t have the same wish when I’m gone.

            Liked by 1 person

            • ASK them! They probably won’t be able to answer in the moment, but it might open dialogues in the future.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Sounds like a plan!

              Like

  5. Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reblogging, Michael. I hope your Father’s Day is lovely, whether it is celebrated where you are or not.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you very much, Madelyn! Oh, the fathers day celebration in Germany is on Christ Ascension in May. In this days in Germany i m glad not to have kids. Have a nice week ahead. 😉 Michael

        Liked by 1 person

        • I share that feeling, Michael, looking at what’s going on in America today — and where I am fairly certain it will lead unless we can jerk the reins out of the hands of our current administration.

          The saying is true: power corrupts – ABSOLUTELY – and it is not human being friendly.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

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