My Computer has ADD


Stranger than fiction
But maybe more amusing?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Whimsy Series

Madelyn’s Believe it or Not

What is it about Executive Functioning struggles that has things go wrong JUST at the moment you need everything to go right to stand a prayer of showing up like you have a brain at all?

Or is it just me?

I know that sometimes my Calamity Jane moments are my own darn fault because I procrastinated, or failed to write something down, or use my systems or whatever.  I’m not talking about those times.

I’m not talking about those times when I ADD-out and forget to give somebody an important message — like maybe, they changed the time for his only daughter’s wedding. (not my oops, actually – one from a client)

I’m not even thinking about those times when I say yes to one more request when I am already juggling more than any six humans could accomplish in a single lifetime if they worked together and never slept.

It’s those OTHER times . . .

You know, like when you practically break your arm putting a gun in your own back to keep yourself on task so that you won’t seem flaky, and THEN the universe laughs in your face and you end up looking flaky anyway — for a bizarre reason that nobody would believe really happened, even if you had it on film.

Come to think of it, it seems that even when I am channeling somebody else’s reliable functioning, it doesn’t always work quite the same way for me.  I’m starting to believe that somebody up there doesn’t really WANT me to plan ahead.

Like that time the water gets turned off – through NO fault of my own, btw – before I have a chance to rinse off the dark brown hair dye I was wise enough to apply to my snowy roots two entire days before an important media event, for example.

I end up having to explain why I’m knocking on a strange neighbor’s door in snow boots, head wrapped in plastic and bod in terrycloth.

I need to use his phone, of course.

It’s urgent that I find out when my friend Janet will be coming home.  I need her to unlock the door to my apartment, simply because I spaced one tiny little detail in my haste to run next door to use her bathroom before my hair turned green: KEYS!

OK, I could have called to see if she was home before my mad dash, but I didn’t want to chance getting dark hair dye on my white phone — and Janet has no social life anyway – she’s ALWAYS home! (If anybody figures out who I’m really talking about, PLEASE don’t tell her I said that!)

Oh, and would this kind stranger and new best friend mind if I used his shower to wash out the hair dye so I won’t get it all over his nice living room furniture while I wait with him for Janet to arrive?

Surely he wouldn’t leave me out in the cold with wet hair, even if his wife IS away on a business trip?

And, by the way, I’m going to need towels.

Stuff like that.  Like I said, flaky!  

So I’m sure that you are not going to believe that what’s going on with my computer is really not my fault! But at least it’s not as outrageous as the experience of my friend Steven’s then fiance’s brother-in-law Jeff. THAT story is the stuff of legend!

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TRULY incredible!

It seems that Jeff’s wife, Steven’s fiance’s sister, put Jeff on notice that if he sauntered in late to ONE more important family event she was going to divorce him (and they say ADDers hyperbolize?). Anyway, she scared Jeff silly, so he’s walking the straight and narrow — right up to the big black tie celebration for one of those landmark anniversaries in the girls’ family.

clipartkid

Now I’ll grant you that it wasn’t one of Jeff ‘s better ideas to wait until THE day of the event to go to the mall to pick up this really expensive entire-family-chipped-in present for the happy couple

And we won’t mention the utter stupidity of anyone
entrusting this highly important little detail to Jeff.

But he DID leave in plenty of time and he DID call ahead to find out that, with a credit card payment over the phone they would wrap it up beautifully and leave it for him at the service desk (for a small additional charge of twenty-five dollars!)

  • And he DID check to see if he had enough room on his credit card to work it all out.
  • He also called to confirm that all was as promised, early on the morning of the day he took the mall trip.

He had the incredible forethought to pick up his tux first thing, draping it carefully on the back seat of his car, polished shoes already in a box on the floor behind the driver’s seat.

WONDERFUL plan-ahead thinking!  That way he could dress at the in-laws in case something happened that he didn’t have plenty of time to go home first.

So, anyway, Jeff goes to the mall, and it takes only a scant few moments to pick up this beautifully wrapped box.

Before he has time to gloat . . .

That’s when things start to get screwy. He can’t remember which entrance he used, which meant he wasn’t sure about the level on which he was parked — which means it took him almost an hour to find his car! 

No biggie – that’s exactly why he had everything he needed WITH him, right?

Moving quickly along to Plan B, Jeff drives down the highway to his wife’s parents house, congratulating himself on his excellent planning.  He gets to the house with time to spare, reaches back for the tux and, as the kids say, WTF?!!!

It seems that somebody has stolen his rented tux.
But wait, they stole the tux but LEFT a car seat?
Jeff starts hearing the theme from the Twilight Zone in his head.

That is the first time he notices something else a little odd.
Wasn’t the carpeting a different color or something?
Was he losing his mind?

That thought is followed in short order by the moment
when he discovers, to his horror,
THAT IT IS NOT HIS CAR!

  • Yep.  Ole Jeff had stolen some other guy’s auto.
  • But wait – why would HIS keys work on somebody else’s car?

As it turns out, for this particular year of this particular model, the keys were made in lots or something odd like that — but the statistical probability of two cars with the same key signature ending up in the same state, much less the same parking lot, made it practically impossible that something like this would ever happen.

Except to Jeff.

And time marches on . . .

He has to drive all the way back to the mall, with really no clue where to find HIS car. He is in the middle of explaining over the phone to some police dispatcher that he has NO idea where to leave this other guy’s car once he finds his own as a Police cruiser approaches, siren purring softly

The officer is really interested in finding out why Jeff seems to be casing the parking lot instead of hot-footing it outa’ there with the stolen vehicle.

Jumping out of the cruiser, the car’s owner is pretty darned curious about that too!

Fortunately, the fact that Jeff’s key does work in the “stolen” vehicle chills everybody out a BIT. Jeff piles into the back of the cruiser, the owner jumps into his own car and they all set out, albeit rather dubiously, to help him look for another car exactly like the formerly stolen vehicle.  At least from the outside.

All’s well that ends well, I guess.  They did find the car – both keys worked in both – Jeff’s tux was just where he’d left it, the box with the shoes and stuff was still on the floor, and he wasn’t losing his mind about the color of the carpeting.

This would be a much shorter story if I could end it with “and Jeff is now happily married to somebody else” – but that’s not exactly how it played.

The universe wasn’t quite finished making a fool of Jeff yet

Since he knew there was NO WAY his wife would believe the story of why he was late this time for this particular event, he made the officer corroborate his testimony over the phone.

Yea, right!  Who is that really? 

I mean, would YOU have believed some voice over the phone was a cop if YOUR never-on-time husband called an hour into a sit-down black tie event with some cockamamie story like this?

Jeff would probably still be in the doghouse but for the one ADD-oops that WAS his fault, but things broke his way for once – eventually.

After changing into his tux at the mall, driving like a mad thing to the restaurant, returning his wife’s frozen smile wanly, he heard that he had arrived JUST in time for the present opening.  

Oh no.  The beautifully wrapped, big expensive group gift was right where he’d left it – on the passenger seat of the other guy’s car.

It was only once they got home that he found out just how much his wife didn’t believe his fish-tale after that little addendum!!

The next morning . . .

After an uncomfortable night on a second-hand fold-out couch and one tense moment when the police dispatcher had no idea what he was talking about, he dialed a second precinct.  Bottom!

Even from the living room door, his wife could hear the raucus laughter as well as the second dispatcher’s comment, “Hey, it’s that idiot from the mall — he wants to report a stolen silver service!”

Like I said, all’s well that end’s well.  After enduring the laughter of an entire precinct, the silver tea service was placed in Jeff’s extremely relieved embrace, and eventually made it to the happy couple.

His wife no longer complains about Jeff’s chronic lateness, even though it always leads to a family argument over whose turn it is to embellish the family legend.

Stranger than fiction . . .

Steven and his bride swear that every word of this story is absolutely true, by the way (and no, even though Jeff was the Best Man at their wedding, they did not entrust him with the rings).

But who cares?
It’s a much better story than what’s giving me fits
about my stupid ADD computer!!

So if anybody out there is looking for an ADD Coach who truly understands and empathizes with the troubles and travails with kludgy Executive Functioning, give me a call.  If you got this far, you surely know that I do!

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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

143 Responses to My Computer has ADD

  1. reocochran says:

    This really is a more complex version of Me and my experience on the day of my rehearsal dinner. I bought some fancy lingerie at a major box store, walked to my parents’ car, only to empty out my purse and pockets. It was about two hours before I was due at the hotel where my parents were housing all the member’s of our side of the family and I was locked out of my car! The parking lot was almost empty and as I ran towards the store and mall, I saw very few people. This is 7/7/78 and no cellphones. Tears flowed and an elderly security guard approached me, even concerned I was robbed! No, just locked out of my car. Of course, he had that bar which for inserted into my window and somehow could unlock my car. He had a great story about how he and his wife of 50 years used a fun way to prevent fights. 🙂

    Like

    • WHAT an experience, Robin – imagine missing your own rehearsal dinner! Have you blogged it? I’ll bet I’m not the only one who’d love to know that fun way to prevent fights, too.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  2. dgkaye says:

    Lol Madelyn these stories were mega hilariousssssss!!!!!! The Jeff story was a gas! 🙂 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • ONLY afterwards, right?
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • dgkaye says:

        Of course! 🙂 😉 xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. K E Garland says:

    Woooow!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amazing story, right? Thanks for popping by.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  4. daisymae2017 says:

    I think all computers have ADD.

    Like

    • lol – I think you’re right
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • daisymae2017 says:

        Just sent the best way for voting.

        Liked by 1 person

        • GOT IT – and already approved and responded.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  5. J-Dub says:

    All is well that ends well. I’ve always known truth is stranger than fiction. Some cliches are quite the opposite. Here’s one to add, Lightning never strikes the same place twice … until of course it does 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL – the uncle of one of my best friends was hit by lightning twice (alive and well for many years following, but mentally slow as a result) – and if you google, I’m sure there will be many statistically unlikely stories to be found.

      Another cliche I like is ‘No harm, no foul’ – which I actually prefer to that ending well stuff.

      Thanks so much for the visit and the comment. I’ll return the favor ASAP (accent on the P, of course!) 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • J-Dub says:

        There is a local news report about a man who has been struck by lightning every time he goes to a certain golf course here in San Antonio. Quite the exception to the rule. He is survived every time but word has it he’s not golfing any longer because he thinks his number is up … the cat has had his nine lives.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Amazing! I’m surprised he returned after #2! But then, I’m not a golfer.

          A high school boyfriend tells a hilarious story about taking the spare out of the trunk of the car to make room for his clubs on his honeymoon. His ex-wife was never amused, however. 🙂
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • J-Dub says:

            Too funny. I hear golfing is addictive but I am not a golfer either.

            Liked by 1 person

            • ONLY funny in the retelling. Of course they had a flat and ended up spending their honeymoon night in a roadside fleabag where the curtains didn’t even close all the way, and they had to keep the lights on all night, even in the bathroom, to keep the creepy crawlies from over-taking the place.

              I would have been tempted to run away in the morning, but it took her a few more years, I believe, to come to the conclusion that she had NO interest in being a golf-widow (or turning into an alcoholic hanging out in the clubhouse awaiting beloved’s return!) 🙂

              In his defense, however (just to be fair), she knew he was a pro-golfer when she married him.
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • J-Dub says:

              Always ONLY in the re-telling. That’s the beauty of hindsight. Not so much that hindsight is 20/20 but that perspectives change when one is not in the thick of whatever angst filled situation occurs. My I am a cliche riddle lady today. lol 🙂

              Liked by 2 people

            • Yep! The perspective shift is the gift of time – I’m sure Jeff feels the same way – and the family laughter must be raucous by now.

              Cliches live on because they are apt.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  6. Delightful post Madelyn! You cracked me up with the comment about breaking your arm to put a gun in your own back. I know that feeling! It seems Me, Myself, and I are my three worst enemies. Mega hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not surprised you laughed at that one, Teagan. You probably know the gun in the back feeling more than I, since you actually “go to work” (i.e., work for an employer other than yourself, who probably contributes another nudge or seven)

      But I’ll bet you don’t have to use that little trick to “make” yourself write – I doubt that feels like work to you at all, judging by the quality of how much you produce.

      Thanks. Tegan – and have a SUPER Sunday — Monday mayhem lurks (I tried, lol). 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, you are far, far too kind, Madelyn. Actually for years, I’ve been so drained by things at work and in this location, that I can hardly write at all. It’s nothing to do with writer’s block, or needing ideas. It’s just a drain. If a place and its population could be a collective vampire, I’m in its gullet. :/

        You still have a “real job.” (As I call the one that pays me — I put it in quotes because I feel my blogging is a true job as well.) Although you are free from the level of internal politics, blame, backbiting, and sabotage.
        But thank you — It lifts me up that you say that. Mega hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Only if blogging paid [any of] my bills would I put it in the “job” category – it certainly takes the majority of my time and concentrated attention.

          You may recall that my first career was sho-biz. Anything but acting (etc) that primed the economic pump was referred to as a sh*t-job (sometimes job-job), even when we did something we didn’t mind doing or actively enjoyed.

          In that context and when I was acting, NY performers would have considered even “President” a side-trip, thus “sh*t-job” – but I thought “real job” would be the least offensive to most of my readers.

          The worst thing about working for others is always the office politics and the office shoulds – at least for me. Hate it!

          I wish you could get out of that office – or that upper management would rotate OUT and a more human-friendly group of “motivators” would take their places (and decide to give you a bit raise) 🙂
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

  7. mistermuse says:

    Jeff should change his last name to Murphy (if it isn’t already Murphy) to match his life-long destiny (those who don’t get my meaning should Google MURPHY’S LAW)! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh please don’t tell me that kids today don’t even know the reference to Murphy’s Law – unless you were speaking to readers from countries other than ours, who may not.

      His real name is not Jeff or Murphy, however. Except for my own, ALL names in this post were changed for the sake of a bit of privacy — although I’m sure anyone even remotely connected wouldn’t have to wonder for a nanosecond.

      I often think about Joe Btfsplk when ADD/EFDers tell me their stories – and anyone reading may well need to Google that one! (Wikipedia has a nice post)
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  8. Pingback: (May 20/17) “Hook, Lyin’, And Sink-Her…” – trulyunpluggeddotcom

    • WOW – if this is a link to the article you were going to write, I stand in your blogging shadow my friend!

      I’m off to take a look!
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  9. Oh my… this is one fantastic story, Madelyn! I’m sure it would win a short story competition hands down! So why do you think your computer has ADD? Thanks for the chuckles – balm for the soul!

    Like

    • You don’t want to know, John — more electronic snafus than anybody has the time (or interest) to read. This side trip was a lot more amusing.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  10. Oh, my gosh…in a bitter-sweet parallel, this post is so delightfully-painful 🙂 Poor Jeff! I love your message and how you delivered it…wonderful as ever 🙂

    Like

    • How astute of you to catch the message behind my madness. Thanks for reading — and for this comment. It made my day.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • As ever, my pleasure…it’s just occurred to me that John’s calamity is in line with my recent revelation that I wrongly assign self-blame for any number of things that go sideways…I think I will write a post about that…I’ll let you know (thanks for jogging my memory)…. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oops, I meant Jeff 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          • Funny, I knew what you meant so I didn’t even catch it!
            xx,
            mgh

            Like

        • I think we ALL do that to a certain extent – inadvertently internalized when parents and teachers attempted to teach us cause and effect thinking. I agree that a discussion of the dynamic will make a great post.

          Be sure to leave a link in a comment here and I’ll move it into the “Relateds” – or link, and I’ll add it when I approve (I now have to approve everything due to those hateful spammers).

          lol – as you were commenting here, I was commenting on your blog. What a bizarre – though wonderful – method of communicating with like-minded others around the world.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • when I write the post, I will give you crdeit for inspiration, of course…and thanks for your invitation…I will happily take you up on it…thanks for brightening my day 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • Super! Very kind of you.

              I try to remember to tell all my blog buddies to leave links for my Related Content – but I guess many don’t because most sites are not designed to be Evergreen, maybe thinking nobody will see it anyway after a day or two. Not so over here. I still get comments on a few posts from 2011 (mostly through internal links to former articles, since my content often builds on itself).

              Keep it to one link per comment to keep from being auto-spammed or I’ll never see it to approve it. If you have several posts that add your particular spin on similar content, put them in separate comments – as many as you feel would be helpful (YOU can even disagree vehemently, btw – your posts are never spiteful).

              I attract SO much link-spam (well over a million, according to the spam counter on my sidebar), that I simply can’t justify the time to dig through the trash to rescue, since there have never been more than one or two legitimate comments when I do, almost always when folks leave multiple links in the same comment.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I will follow your direction….and, no, I would never be spiteful…and, three, you and I are on the same wave length 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • We ARE – which is why I follow your blog and would be proud to have my readers jump over to see what you have to say on similar topics. I like the way you think!
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • Thank you so much….here is my post…thank you sooo much for the invitation 🙂
              https://trulyunplugged.com/2017/05/20/may-2017-hook-lyin-and-sink-her/

              Liked by 1 person

            • Hahaha – I already responded to the pingback, added a link, and commented under the post.

              But thanks for the nudge — I am, after all, THE ADD Poster Girl and I could just as easily have gotten distracted before I did what I intended to do.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  11. You have such a beautiful, fresh and warming sense of humor. As we read we laughed and the more we read the deeper we thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Great response – I hoped to give a little insight into the ADD process. I’m thrilled you picked up on that.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • It helps immensely. When we learn fear goes away and differences become wonderful connection points to greater understanding and acceptance.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Theatre always did that for me – it’s impossible to play a character effectively without expanding understanding and acceptance. I have always believed it works that way for the audience as well.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • What a feeling it must have been for you to stand in front of the audience and perform the role of a character and connect with the audience. It had to be an awesome sensation. Was it hard to walk away as you did? It had to have been an emotional process?

            Liked by 1 person

            • *I* wasn’t there much once I stepped into the skin of another – *my* feelings were those of the character if I did my job right.

              I could always “feel” how completely the audience was invested, however, and if they were breathing with “me” it was a high like no other. (It’s a myth that actors are hooked on the applause – most good actors I know don’t really like the curtain calls – they’re for the audience).

              Leaving the biz felt like I was being forced into exile from a land where there was not enough water to support anyone who didn’t already have their own well (i.e. wasn’t what they called “a name”).

              I still regret the decision many, many days.
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • It had to be an amazing process to separate from yourself and become that character. Then to switch back to yourself. A gift. I could see where the high would be at successfully melding into the character to the point the audience sees the character. Such a talent. It had to be a difficult transition but you seem to have successfully worked through it to a point.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I had no real choice, I believed at the time, unless I was ready to take a high stakes gamble that would most likely leave me old and poor in America (exactly what happened anyway, given my “helping addiction” and the high number of people who never paid me for my services)

              My agent said he was happy to continue to represent me, but I had climbed high enough by then that I’d get to the last of the call-backs only to be beaten out by someone with “a name,” so it was a real long-shot.

              The speech was always the same, “Madelyn, you know we love your work and your audition was stellar, but s0-and-so is a name – blah, blah, blah”

              The week I finally walked away I lost two parts:

              1- the NY stage debut of Carnal Knowledge because I wasn’t *actually* Puerto Rican (the smallest role in the show – the woman who throws her johns’ clothes over the balcony railing if they couldn’t answer correctly, “What color are my eyes.”)

              The [well-known] director called me AT HOME to break the news (never a good sign – if you get it they usually call your agent, who calls you with all the details) saying that if it were up to him the role would have been mine, but the playwright insisted on a native Puerto Rican for the role (and I promised never to say why!)

              2- A wonderful lead in a mediocre TV Series (Tales from the Dark Side) – beaten out by an aging TV starlet (from a well-known sitcom), hoping to launch her come-back. It was down to the two of us, and I knew I’d nailed it as I was called in for a chat with the casting director — SAME speech.

              I started looking for a job-job the very next week, convinced that the game was rigged if THAT actress had a “box office” name – and not in my favor!

              I didn’t have the heart to watch either of them perform “my” roles.

              If I’d gone to NYC instead of marrying and supporting my ex as he worked on his MFA, I might have stood a good chance of making it myself — but theatre is a young person’s game, still, and especially for women.

              You don’t have a lot of years to build “a name” – and even then getting cast is tough for any woman over 30 because there are so few roles written for us – and 20-somethings frequently get cast to play older (especially in film).

              I LOVED everything about acting but the biz itself – and was extremely fortunate to get to inhabit the skins of so many amazing characters during my career. I miss it still – but a girl’s gotta’ eat! You don’t get paid to audition.
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • Wow. Such a complex field to enter. It has got to be hard to break in then stay in. There has got to be a lot of underhanded deals taking place and plenty of promises with little payoff. It looks so glamorous from the outside but hearing what you are saying about what happens on the inside would make one think twice the 10th degree before stepping there. We think it is good you stepped away because you are touching on real issues that are making differences in many lives.

              Like

            • Thanks. I have enjoyed what I have been doing since I left the biz, and it has been gratifying to help so many and actually DO what I set out to do (start a field) — BUT . . . it has been a lot more flat-out WORK than most people would ever imagine (or DO lol), and the personal ROI hasn’t stayed in balance with that, especially financially (as I’m sure you experienced as well from your working days as a helping professional).

              Admin is NOT my strength, and there has *always* been waaaaay too much of that involved. The non-stop research, while fascinating, takes many hours from the time I have to spend doing anything else – really long days.

              Mostly tho, it’s the rock-cliff marketing that eats my life whole. I truly loathe it, but you can’t help – even for free – if people don’t know about you. I wish I had the bucks to out-source that part completely – but I couldn’t have done so much without charge to have that be the case.

              Acting and directing, on the other hand, lit me up in every single phase BUT the part where I had to deal with getting the auditions in the first place. I even loved auditioning. It was a truly enjoyable period in my life – with lots of time for fun and laughter.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • There is joy in helping others isn’t there. Its for sure not for the faint at heart as you well know. Yet, the emotional rewards are soooo worth it. We still work with the homeless and those getting out of prison as they are worthwhile endeavors. We can believe the non-stop research you do and all the fact checking that takes place. Its so easy getting lost down rabbit trails as the research progresses. That moment will come when you will be able to outsource. You are building that strong base which is as you know foundational in any endeavor. When it comes it will be swift. Always continue that time though for fun and laughter okay.

              Liked by 1 person

            • “When it comes it will be swift.” And soon, please God, r-e-a-l-l-y soon! lol
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Watch it happen and please remember to tell us all.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Absolutely! Even BEFORE I shout it to the rooftops. 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

  12. I so enjoyed reading this post Madelyn. You could not make these stories up… I was in stitches over the wedding dilemma 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was one of the funniest ADD-oops stories I have ever heard – from a client, btw!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • It would translate well for a movie. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • It WOULD – wish I had the time to write the screenplay (and the connections to shop it).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  13. lwbut says:

    Thanks for this post Madelyn! Now i won’t feel so bad the next time the Universe tries to screw me over with things like machines that have no choice in the way they perform a task choosing to do it in one of 30 different ways on alternate Thursdays (Hell Yes I’m talking computers here! But not exclusively so.) 😉 Or when my brane/body decide to give me a totally new experience while i perform a routine habituated task.

    From now on i’ll just remember Jeff and the car/present and quit my complaining as it could always be worse. (and no doubt one day will be!) 🙂

    I’m almost afraid to ask about your computer?

    love.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lol – thanks, Love. You know what they say about computers – garbage in, garbage out — and I’m talking about coding here (kinda’ like the kind practiced by the WordPress Gremlins).

      But you really do not want to ask about my computer – sometimes truly nutty, but not very humorous, for the most part, and I doubt I could make it seem so in the writing (probably due to my frustration with it all, and how many others are ready to throw their’s out the window).

      Now my iPhone experiences would be a riot if they weren’t so horribly sad.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • lwbut says:

        Life can, at times, be trying! Is best i don’t know about your computer – i have enough grief to deal with just with mine lol;-)

        And thank you – you have just explained to me the reason Microsoft names their ‘operating’ (and i use the term loosely) system (ditto) – Windows!!!

        Out there is exactly where it belongs! 🙂
        Hope that cheered you a little?

        love

        Like

        • “Trying” – as in,“I’m trying but I can’t keep up!” 🙂

          And then there is the popular “windoze” – but Macs don’t stay speed demons forever either – at least not anymore (some aps worse than others – like FireFox – grrrrr)
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  14. Both those stories were the funniest things I’ve read in a while!!
    Thanks for the laughs!!
    Stress makes me feel like I have ADD brain!! And getting older too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! I still laugh when I think about them. It’s great to know I’m not alone in my sense of humor.

      Stress? Wait a few more years – lol – stress will make you wonder if you are slipping into Alzheimers!!! But as long as we can laugh we will muddle through somehow.

      Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh no, I share it!
        Yes, thankfully laughter is a great medicine!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • It has saved my sanity many a time – what’s left of it, anyway. 🙂
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Lol, right there with ya!
            Hugs

            Liked by 1 person

            • Truly, there have been totally miserable times in my life that have prompted me to say, “This will be a funny story some day.” Even when I couldn’t laugh at the time, some part of me could see the humor in it. Odd how that works.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Some day- a long time later!!

              Liked by 1 person

            • You got that right!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • 😉

              Liked by 1 person

  15. Ha! On the way to our wedding ceremony, my husband forgot our wedding certificate that the Rabbi and the witnesses had to sign! The ring, fortunately, had been entrusted to an anti-ADD (read “anal retentive”) friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You laugh about it NOW, but I’ll bet it gave you a second thought or two at the time.

      It never ceases to amaze me what can fall through the swiss-cheese holes of the ADD brain – my own especially!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 2 people

      • It didn’t give me any thoughts at all because I didn’t know about it until “the boys’ car” got there. You see, I was in the “girls’ car,” and was escorted straight to the bride’s room. Bride and groom are not supposed to see each other until the ceremony. Afterwards, there was so much hype (and alcohol!) that I just laughed the whole thing off! Little did I know…

        Liked by 2 people

        • Ah – since I didn’t have a wedding I forget about that. But you soon learned what you were in for, I know that!

          Good thing YOU are so organized or the two of you would probably be living in a shack somewhere (just kidding – but I know you KNOW what I mean).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 2 people

          • I am not SO organized, but I had to learn to keep things under control.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Amazing what the love (and hard work) of a good woman can do, right? If only I’d had somebody willing and able to do that for me – but I’m not sure many men have those particular talents. 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • They don’t. Not many. I’ve only met one, and he’s been married to my dearest friend for many years. She is one of those brilliant people with ADHD coming out her ears. He deserves a Purple Heart medal.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lucky woman! I seem to attract the ones that only make things more difficult by adding to my struggles keeping things on track. 😦
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I think it’s totally unique; I have never seen another man like that.

              Liked by 1 person

            • More’s the pity!
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • It’s all in His hands; all He does all day long is make matches.

              Liked by 1 person

            • We’ll see what, if anything, He has planned for me in that regard, Dolly – but I’m not holding my breath waiting for Prince Charming. The right male partner could be a lovely addition, but little Tink and I are pretty darned happy to spend our days together.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Famous last words – I remember saying them myself…

              Liked by 1 person

            • MANY years ago now . . . “man plans, G-D laughs.”
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Yes, but I believe He mostly laughs at our cliches.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I hope you know that I would *never* fail to approve & respond to one of your comments, Dolly. You got spammed (along with 500+ “legitimate” examples of link-spam, bringing my new all-time total to an even 1,111,500).

              These hateful folk seem to love me more than most, for some reason — and since I sort by sender, I can see that some of them try to get through repeatedly.

              What is WRONG with these people?
              More to the point – what is going on that YOU are being cast among them? Check with WordPress, because this is not the only one I found of yours.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • It does happen occasionally, and not only to you or to me. I’ve heard from other people who have had the same issue. I just have to remind myself to check Spam more often.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I can’t really spare the time most days – I’m already spending more time than is wise responding to the comments that DO get through to me (most, btw).

              I don’t know *anyone* else who has to sift through 20+ pages of link-spam every week. Most of the time there is not one legit comment to be found!

              I get so agitated by the idiot’s self-focused entitlement that some weeks I just dump it all unread in a single click (vs. 30-45 minutes or more to pour through it “deleting permanently.”)

              I am SO grateful for Akismet. Truly, I wouldn’t be able to justify the time to blog at all if all that spam had to be deleted all over the site.

              I wish there were a “reject-boomerang-all” button that would batch send everything I clicked right back where it came from (with a copy to their ip host). THAT would make it worth it to me to spend the time sifting and clicking!

              It would shut down their servers if we ALL installed it – and you BET we wouldn’t see it for long after that.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh, you are quite overwhelmed! No, I don’t have it that bad, and I don’t know if anyone else does. I am sorry you have to go through this!

              Liked by 1 person

            • Thanks. If ONE of the buggers get through with what looks like a legit comment, I think they sell your address somewhere along what worked and on which article (since so many sites use the medium approach and you only have to be approved ONCE to get through subsequently). They must get some kind of payment for getting through at all.

              Except for the clear examples of 10-30 links and not much else (or the many from China, etc – additional content totally unreadable for me), I get a page or two of “content spun” versions of practically the same comment.

              Many are on, for example, Menage a Moi – which the spammers LOVE and hardly anyone else has read – but other spammers are devious enough to pick a different article or several – essentially the same comment. That increases the time it takes to tiptoe through link spam – since I need to actually pay attention to details. Hateful, hateful, hateful.

              Thanks for commiserating.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • I am wondering why you get so much of it. Or, perhaps, I am just lucky?

              Liked by 1 person

            • Who knows? Nobody I follow seems to get as much as I do – by a LONG shot, and I have no idea why that is so. I see sidebar spam counters with only a few hundred, even on blogs that were started a couple of years ago and among folks who engage on all the social media platforms – which I do not. And my e-glut seems to be substantially larger larger as well.

              If I were a conspiracy theorist I might believe I am being targeted by some evil “competitor” who is spreading my contacts to shut me down – lol. 🙂

              (I don’t really, btw, but it makes as much sense as any other reason I can come up with why so many others get hundreds a year and I get hundreds a week.) 😦
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • My computer experts (my brother and my son) suggest that at some point in the past you might have opened an e-mail from an unknown source that contained a little worm whose purpose was to deliver your e-mail address, as well as your IP address, to a multitude of spammers (and hackers!) all over the world. The cure seems to be to change the IP address.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Maybe – but I rarely open email unless I am expecting it or know the sender – I manage contact through the blog and delete MOST of the e-glut unread.

              Still, I am aware that Facebook “friends” share their personal info all over the universe (which includes yours if you have “friended” them), and LinkedIn has somehow managed to get around the spam rules as well. Perhaps there – beats the conspiracy theory – lol. 🙂

              Thanks for asking, Dolly. Do your experts know whether I can change my IP address without having to transfer the blog to an entirely new domain? If so, I’ll simply continue to ignore the spam folder 99% of the time and empty it regularly until the unlikely event I’d have the time to jump thru all THOSE hoops.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • They do, and, unfortunately, no, you can’t. The worm is burrowing in your IP, and your blog is just as open to the entire world as your Facebook or Linkedin.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Drats! Like I said earlier – SO grateful for Akismet for keeping the trash off the blog. Thanks for asking.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • My pleasure – sorry I couldn’t help more.

              Liked by 1 person

            • You reduced the guilt a bit – I won’t as feel bad about emptying the spam folder unread in the future.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Absolutely! Where would you be with your guilt if that little worm invites mama and papa for company, and your hard drives seizes, G-d forbid?

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh don’t even think it! I’m hoping I’m okay there since I’ve been getting slammed with spam for YEARS now.

              BUT, just across the street a brand new biz is moving in – open part-time already. A fix-it store for devices of all sorts – including computers. (Cross fingers that I won’t need them!)
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Cross fingers, toes, and eyes!

              Liked by 1 person

  16. -Eugenia says:

    I love your posts, Madelyn – never a dull moment. The weather is hot here in my neck of the woods. We enjoy the cooler mornings without A/C but in the afternoons we flip it on. We have several fans and use them a lot. Most of the time, the weather in North Georgia is quite pleasant so no complaints. 🌹

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much Eugenia. This was a rather crazy one, even for me – lol – but I like to post lighter fare from time to time, and both these stories are [essentially] true, with just a bit of dramatic license, so why not?

      A/C is my best friend. Today I take the cover off mine and agonize over how soon to facilitate electric bill robbery – lol. My desk fans have been out for over a week, both aimed at my computer desk.

      Cincinnati zooms from winter (this month – MAY – even!) to inferno – with barely a stop for spring in between. Since my body doesn’t dissipate heat well, unlike you, I have TONS of complaints as the temperature rises and I feel on the verge of heat stroke most moments of most summer days. ::sigh::

      Summer is the time when everyone I know goes out to play as I hibernate in the coolest room in my apartment. My best college chum has lived in the desert since before her daughter was born – and I have NO idea how she does it. My brain would have melted long ago.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 2 people

      • -Eugenia says:

        I understand. Even though I like sunshiny days, I don’t handle heat well. Thus one of the reasons I moved from FL to GA.

        Like

        • Hardly much cooler, however. In fact, certain parts of Florida get the ocean breeze and are almost tolerable – lol – but I think Georgia is prettier (more my kind of beauty).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • -Eugenia says:

            Mine too. I prefer hills and mountains rather than beaches.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Yes! Especially rolling hills and friendly mountains with lots of green. My main objection to Florida (besides the heat, of course) is that it is so FLAT.

              Plus, I like what I call “real trees” – the kind that lose their leaves in a pretty show in the fall, or pine trees like in some of the northern states — but palm trees, cacti and those skinny, scrawny pines just don’t do it for me.

              And I don’t like sand or dust bowls – like in the desert. I don’t care how pretty my bestie insists that those red rocks and bald, rocky mountains in the background are, I want some ground cover in the foreground! (Besides, they’re just not my kind of beauty.)

              I guess I’m just an East Coast girl!
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

  17. colinandray says:

    Poor Jeff. I reported my car stolen once because it was not where I parked it at a shopping mall (= where I thought I had parked it). While on the phone to the police, I suddenly remembered my change of routine that day which dictated a different parking area than usual. The police were very understanding. Apparently it happens a lot! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • haha – as long as they don’t have to jump through a bunch of needless hoops, they tend to be pretty nice ‘guys’ about the foibles of the human race.

      I need one of those ‘clapper’ doohickeys on my car, my keys, my phone and my coffee – especially in the summer when cognition slows to a crawl as my brain turns to melted jello.

      Last nite I read that you were taking a writing break, so I really appreciate the visit and the comment. Tink sends a rousing WOOF! to Ray.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  18. GP Cox says:

    Are you sure you’re not a stand-up comedian disguised as Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC ?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the compliment, GP. I did do quite a bit of comedy during my acting years, including some improv, but no stand-up.

      I would love to have a late night comedy career a la Phyllis Diller, but I couldn’t take the pressure. 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • GP Cox says:

        You write like a natural!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • From YOU, GP, that’s high praise – but then, you do have your dad’s genes! The Smitty letters are some of my favorite posts on your excellent blog (and I LOVE the military cartoons you add to the end of your extremely well-written history posts).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • GP Cox says:

            Now, look who’s talking about high praise!! Thank you very much!

            Liked by 1 person

            • WELL deserved, my friend. MOST of what I know about WWII I’ve learned from you – and in such a fascinating manner, too.
              ~~~~~~~~
              READERS: If you are not already following GP – especially if you are a history buff, but even if you’re not – you simply must click his name on his comment above and check out his blog.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • GP Cox says:

              Much appreciated,Madelyne. I am a very lucky person to have readers like yourself.

              Liked by 1 person

            • You seem to have a great many fans, GP — but I don’t believe it’s “luck” – talent and good ole fashion hard work seems more like it.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • GP Cox says:

              Okay – you went and did it – now I’m blushing

              Liked by 1 person

            • GOOD! I’m glad it landed.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  19. Debbie says:

    oh God Maddie Ive been so busy no time to read others blogs let alone write a post for mine, but glad i took time to read this today. I was laughing out loud so many times! simply hilarious!

    im sure its not your fault about computers. me and mine have regular arguments – let me rephrase that – i am constantly yelling at my computer ( often out loud) for internet malfunctions, hiding my documents, updating then stating it needs another update, pages on macbooks not working like word docs, and other associated evils which are obviously the computers fault but not mine – and the computer just – well – doesn’t reply. and keeps going on its own interminable work-to-rule campaign.

    but enough of that! back to Jeff! simply hilarious! im gonna read it again later so i can laugh out many times again!!!! who’d have thought that keys would start other people’s cars! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for this comment, Debbie, and welcome back. All’s okay with you?

      I’ve had a month where i-net has been pretty much beyond me as well – and not just because of computer glitches! Fortunately, I had quite a few posts in the queue that made it look like I was active, but visiting others has slowed to a crawl.

      I recently made the decision to stop worrying about it and pull back on posting after a recent no-technology trip made me realize how LONG it had been since I truly took the time to relax.

      RE: keys. I have an ADD Coach colleague with a similar key experience story more recently – only her key unlocked the door but wouldn’t start the car – which was a good thing since both cars were clean, empty, and looked the same inside and out!

      I’m thinking the manufacturers must have gotten more than a few complaints to have worked it out that way.

      Have a GREAT weekend – and thanks for the visit and the comment. It’s especially good to read that I’m not the ONLY person with an ADD computer.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  20. sometimes life writes the craziest stories…. I had such a flaky moment as I used the shower of the neighbor while we renovated our bathroom…. as I left the shower I saw that I forgot to bring my fresh clothes with me… uuuuhhhhh!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • lol – so did you run down the street wrapped in a towel or put the dirty clothes back on?
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • the neighbor offered me her bathing robe and I crossed the street as fast as a lightning ;O)))

        Liked by 1 person

        • Funny memory tho’ – times like that make life a chuckle. I hope the rest of the nabe wasn’t at the window as you crossed!
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

  21. Hahaha such an amusing and amazing post Madelyn and a great story too. Sometimes it happens with all of us and things always go bad even if we do not want it to. Where we have to go and sometimes some wrong address is given and then again search and then there is utter chaos. Nice pictures too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Kamal. Some of us have more crazy stories than others – but all of us have at least a few.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha yes for sure Madelyn and that is the fun of it all of us come with our stories and somewhere there is a connection. Have a great night dear with Tinks.

        Liked by 1 person

        • It is warm here tonight, so the door to the balcony is open. Tink is having a ball chasing away all the bogeymen who dare to walk on his side of the street! He’s my little 10 pound protector.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Great and yes sure it must be our Mumbai is also very hot and so stuffy we have to keep AC on practically on for our little Amber too.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I’m hoping to avoid the AC for a a bit longer to keep the bill affordable – but it seems the summer heat has decided to descend with barely a pause between winter and summer.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Yes but here our side we cannot do without an AC cause we stay in a flat on the fourth floor and then the roof which becomes so hot and sultry cannot sit nor sleep so have to and the bill will be atrocious but no option but to stay coolly.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I can relate. Although I am on the first floor – over a basement that stays cool-ish for a bit, the window AC in my home office runs full time once it gets hot because I can neither sleep nor think for most of the dreaded summer. I probably wouldn’t survive your climate.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Hahaha yes dear for sure and that is why your place is better than ours.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Climate-wise, perhaps. I’m not a fan of the current political goings-on, however.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Hmmm correct

              Liked by 1 person

  22. Ha ha, what a great story, Madelyn. Just what the doctor ordered for me today after I go home at 11.30pm from a one day trip to a city that is a 2 hour flight away. I arrived at the venue for the conference at which I was presenting yesterday morning, after getting up before the crack of dawn for the flight there, only to find that I had been given the wrong venue by accident and that the right venue was a 40 minute drive away SIGH! All turned out in the end but it was very exhausting. Happy weekend to you and Tink!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It sounds like you could write your own adventure story, Robbie! WHAT an experience. We could swap speaking at conferences almost disaster stories, btw. (I’ll spare you.)

      I can’t believe that, after you got home late from a trip like yours, you are now hopping around the blog-o-sphere reading posts and answering comments. Thank you so much for making time for ME.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Your posts are always wonderful, Madelyn. Sometimes I read them twice!

        Liked by 1 person

        • What a sweet thing to say, Robbie.

          I rarely have TIME to read yours twice, Robbie – I spend waaay too much time studying the photos of your darling creations and wondering if I could *possibly* try something like that and have it turn out even half as cute.
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

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