10 Simple Coaching Questions to Consider


10-Step Coaching – NOT just for ADD
Things to think about that can give you a Brand New LIFE

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another coaching article for Counseling Awareness Month
Reflections: edited reposting


Begin with a pen, pencil
(or crayon!) and a pad of your favorite paper — or your favorite software on your computer (whatever you believe works best for YOU – but I promise it will work best for your brain to do it on paper).

Find a comfortable place to perch
while you meander through the ten items below.

I promised you simple – but not easy – so plan on spending 30-45 minutes or longer – as much time as you can spare, but don’t try to squeeze it all in between activities and interruptions. You need to get into a thinking space and stay there, even if that means you take it in segments.

FIRST, gather everything you are going to need
so you’re not tempting to wander away mid-process:

  • Something to write with – and on – or
  • Whatever electronic toy you swear works better for you
  • Something to drink
  • Maybe something to snack on while you work

Adjust your clothing, if you need to.  Unfasten anything that needs to be looser. Kick off your shoes if you feel like it.  Squirm around until you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Take several d-e-e-p breaths, exhaling slowly, while you think about your life as it is RIGHT NOW, before you work your way through the list below.

Remember that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

HOVER before clicking – often a box will appear to tell you what to expect

Allow things to drift into your mind . . .

Don’t force ANYTHING

  • Where do things feel stuck?
  • What would you like to be different?
  • What seems to be the biggest struggle?
  • Where do you feel tethered to the treadmill?
  • Where is “working hard” keeping you from spending time on what you love — and on what’s easy?

Whatever pops into your head is fine.  Don’t over-think this, just bring it to consciousness gently.

When you feel ready, take some time to reflect on each of the points below.

Capture your thinking in writing, not only to make sure you come up with some specifics, but also so that you can go back to it whenever you want.

Ten Change-your-life Concepts

1.  There is nothing wrong here.

2.  What’s working already?

3. What’s working about it?

• What values are being expressed?
• What needs are being met in a healthy, constructive way?
• What systems are already in place?
• What strengths are being utilized naturally?
• What skills light you up when you use them?

4. How can we expand that into the rest of your life?

5. What are you tolerating?  (Where is life a royal pain in the butt?)

6. What actions can you take (or requests can you make) to eliminate all tolerations, one by one?

7. What’s in the way of your really shining?

• Where are the blockades, tar pits, falling rocks and mudslides?
• What are you trying to do the hard way (for you)?

8. What work-arounds can be developed to handle the tasks you don’t like to do,
— and probably don’t do well as a result?

9. What systems can we put in place that utilize your strengths?

10. If your life worked EXACTLY the way you’d like it to, what would it look like?

• What’s one version of Your Ideal Life?
• What’s another?
• What would definitely NOT be part of your ideal life?

Did you DO it?

If yes, good for you! (If no, why not? Really – as a real question.)

NEXT, let’s work on setting up your life so you love it.  You’ll develop an action plan and, if you hire me as your coach – in any format, I’ll be the wind at your back every step of the way.

I can also help you get clear on some of the points above in your very own life.

So can a Peer Coach or a good, non-judgmental friend.

This is your LIFE we’re talking about here – let yourself accept a little outside perspective.  Like most other things in life, this work is a lot more fun to do with a partner. Click HERE to send me an SOS and talk about coaching with me


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IN ANY CASE, do stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.

Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)


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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with Executive Functioning struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

53 Responses to 10 Simple Coaching Questions to Consider

  1. Pingback: April 2017: Mental Health Awareness | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  2. dgkaye says:

    Pen and paper are my tools of the trade. 🙂 Happy Easter my friend. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Happy Easter to you as well. Still fighting a bit of a sinus thing so my Easter present to the world is to stay in bed and not spread it around — but I did hard boil a few eggs in honor of the bunny. You?
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • dgkaye says:

        Oh, that sinus stuff sucks! But I like those eggs too. Less fattening that chocolate too. 🙂 Did Good Friday dinner with hub’s family, did Passover Monday night with my siblings and their family. I’m a mixed mutt when it comes to religion and not practicing of either, lol. 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

        • Wonderful fun – and I notice you don’t seem to be the one doing the cooking – how did you wrangle that one?
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • dgkaye says:

            Lmao, how did you figure that out? Hub’s family does their own cooking, and traditionally, Jewish holidays are held at my sister’s house. She loves to cook up a storm and my job is to make the honey/garlic meatballs which her kids love to devour while they’re waiting for dinner. And my picky eating little grand niece will only eat my meatballs for dinner. So yes, I cook them at home the night before and bring them over. Of course I bring lots of ‘purchased’ goodies along too – desserts and treats. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • No one will ever pair your name and the name of a vegetable in the same memory. You’ve got “favorite aunt” down to a fine science. Well done!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • dgkaye says:

              Lol, hilarious you! Happy Easter Sunday my friend. 🙂 🙂 xx

              Liked by 1 person

            • And to you as well. Hope you have a lovely day.
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • dgkaye says:

              🙂 🙂 xx

              Liked by 1 person

  3. A very good post, Madelyn. I like the idea of writing things down – helps one focus and you can keep and refer back to your thoughts. Fortunately, I am pretty happy in my life most of the time although I could do without the current politics – here in South Africa and elsewhere.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I like to make myself take a look every few years, just to make sure I’m not becoming root-bound.

      As for politics and politicians – I say put them ALL on an ocean liner, strand them in the middle of the ocean, and let them duke it out for the rest of their lives. Give them a special twitter account for anyone who is interested in their soundbites — or those who want to bet on the outcome of their games – lol. 🙂

      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for the reblog – and my apologies for taking so long to approve and say thanks – Akismet autospammed you, but I recognized your name from your many reblogs around the ‘sphere and dug you out to say thank you very much and manually approve you. Hopefully, you won’t get spammed again.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  5. Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for reblogging Tink’s take on coaching, Kate. He’s a REALLY happy little guy now that he has your “stamp of approval” 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • He is very welcome xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. We like the paper idea… there is something about writing thoughts that stimulates the thought processes. Also liked the 10 step process and yes, we did do it. This is a regular morning routine here and its amazing how the rest of the day seems to fall in synch. The hard part though is before we know the day is gone. Great post Madelyn.

    Like

    • How wonderful to have a partner on this journey who shares activities like this one – and to have come together at a time when both of you were ready for each other. I know I don’t have to tell YOU how very lucky you are.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Thank you Madelyn. Yes, blessed is what it is and we are. I/we were slow learners and as you know hammer of life against the anvil of our nature finally yields maturity, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Maturity for some – the world would be a better place if it were true for ALL, right?

          Some will get there before they die, but I think a few never will (and they call those people politicians, lol)
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • LOL, LOL. Isn’t this the truth. Spoken with true wisdom. I guess we’ve been around the barn a few times, lol.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Maybe everybody’s barn! And a few city buildings as well!!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL, LOL. Good one Madelyn. This sure does add character to our being doesn’t it. We gotta love it thought because that is what makes us able to see things a bit differently then those just entering the barn (and city building) for the first time, lol, lol.

              Like

            • Yep – for those of us who keep our eyes open, time on the earth is valuable (not so much for those who sleepwalk through). 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  7. Madelyn these Ten shall train the first Ten next shall help the next Ten and shall multiply into Ten into Ten that shall ADD and go on adding.😃
    Shiva

    Liked by 1 person

    • WONDERFULLY put, Shiva. Thank you so much.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Madelyn I have seen you visit my post ‘I & life fight…’and you have put your like for that. Thanks.
        I have mentioned about a new word in that. Please could you comment about it and of the post since you have also fought enough in life.
        My new post is getting published in an hour you could read that also. ‘Where shall I ……. The Quest Remains’ 😃
        Thanks
        Shiva

        Liked by 1 person

        • Certainly, Shiva, it would be my privilege. Only lack of time has kept me from doing so already. I lost a couple of “office” days last week, so I am quite behind and doing my best to play catch-up.

          I’m up against a deadline right now so it will probably be late tomorrow/Thurs. (earliest) before I can do so. I hope you can understand that it is not for lack of interest.

          Can you come back with links directly to the posts you want to make sure I read?
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

  8. -Eugenia says:

    Enlightening post, Madelyn. I like to think I am imperfectly perfect. That gives me a lot of room for improvement.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lol – for me it might be the other way around: perfectly imperfect. That gives me lots of options. 🙂
      xx, mgh

      Liked by 2 people

  9. I’d like to do this exercise in the next couple of days. I need to find some quiet time to do it justice. Thanks a bunch!

    Liked by 1 person

    • OR – take it in sections if life keeps on being life. But it is worth doing, especially if you don’t put a bunch of rules around the process. That’s what’s great about doing it with a buddy or a group – it takes on the tenor of a college discussion as one idea inspires the other.

      I hope you’ll blog about it – and come back to leave a link for me to move into the article.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Now there’s an idea I hadn’t considered! Sounds like a plan!

        Liked by 1 person

        • However or whatever, many people have loved the results when they do this exercise.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  10. robjodiefilogomo says:

    I almost want to send this to my mom…but she’d probably take it the wrong way. You know, that mother & daughter thing.
    Since I couldn’t reply anymore in the last thread we were discussing—I thought I’d let you know. I did get your thoughts on our first post—thanks!!
    What I wasn’t getting was the email to say you had replied in your blog post (the one that says you liked the comment that I made on a post)—it was interesting. But I got the last one, so it’s probably my email server’s fault!!
    Jodie

    Liked by 1 person

    • Who knows what evils lurk on server streets – bwahahaha – not EVEN The Shadow. And then there are all those different applications that have to work as designed. I guess it’s like the snail mail – amazing anything ever arrives at all. 🙂

      In any case, I will be working in dribs and drabs today & tomorrow on finishing #1 & #3. and drafting #2 (which will include mgh comments for your post). If life cooperates, it won’t take long to complete each piece. I’ll leave a heads up when I send them – probably on voicemail.
      xx,
      mgh
      PS: nudging me on the blog is ALWAYS a good idea where email is concerned.

      Like

  11. GP Cox says:

    A few times I have analyzed and reflected back on my past and present life. I’ll look into this method and see what I come up with. Thank you.

    Like

    • I got a lot from my skills & tasks reflection. I have noted that those of us who have been blessed with many skills have a tendency to feel we MUST use them – and get extra credit or something if we “farm the rocks” rather than moving down to the fertile valley where things are easy with more ROI.

      Some “efforting” is good for the brain and how we grow, but if it’s how we deal with life overall, it doesn’t make for a life that is very satisfying (or a whole lot of fun!). 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Lucy Brazier says:

    This is wonderful! I am very lucky in that my life, whilst of course not perfect, is pretty much where I want it to be. I took myself through a similar process a couple of years ago to understand what would really make me happy and how I really wanted to live. It is so easy to get discouraged when things/life goes wrong – so easy to sit back and complain or lament. I cannot stress enough how much better it is to instead think about how to start fixing things, set new goals. You are a beacon of light in a dark world, my friend!
    xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lucy, you are amazing. The day I tripped across Porter Girl was heaven sent!

      About that “not perfect” life of yours — why settle for perfection when you can have a life-long hobby – lol. 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lucy Brazier says:

        Perfection looks pretty boring to me – I’d be getting up to (more) mischief in no time!
        And you are so kind – I am so glad you found me too 🙂
        xx

        Liked by 1 person

        • Tink just rang in – that makes 3 of us (and he wants to see more of Duck-Duck).
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Lucy Brazier says:

            Duck-Duck appears on today’s post – he has an important job guarding shortcake! Give Tink a tummy rub from me 🙂
            xx

            Liked by 1 person

            • Oh goodie! We’ll be over in a moment.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lucy Brazier says:

              https://portergirl.com/2017/04/12/where-the-magic-happens/ Here is the post!

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh you are so good!
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  13. I will do it today…. thanks so much for sharing this 10 questions… I see them as a “launching pad” for me… and I hope so much with answering this question honest I can see what I did/or do wrong and I can change it :o)

    Liked by 2 people

    • See #1 – NOTHING wrong – simply choices to make, unmake, remake, etc.

      (btw – Tink says you probably don’t listen to daPhenny closely enough and that if you DID, everything would be perfect – lol)

      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  14. Great words of encouragement and inspiration and support Madelyn really coachers can get so much knowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Kamal. I’m so glad you find it encouraging.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

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