A Shih Tzu’s take on Brain-based Coaching
Monday, April 10, 2017 67 Comments
April is Counseling Awareness Month!
and I can tell you all about how great coaching works
Guest blogger: TinkerToy
© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Coaching Series
People coaches and dog coaches have a lot in common
Some coaches do that tough-love thing, but Mom doesn’t believe that the nasty voice ever works. It just makes us too scared to keep trying. She doesn’t even do the nasty voice when she tells me no.
And we all LOVE it when we can suddenly do something we never could before — it’s just that the things that 4-legses and 2-legses figure out how to do are different.
Mom coaches over the phone and I hang out in her office and listen in. She says the only reason I’m allowed to stay around and eavesdrop is because I can’t tell anybody except other dogs. They don’t care anyway – they don’t even know these 2-legses.
But I’ve learned a LOT about 2-legs coaching that way, and Mom decided to let me tell you some of her coaching secrets (besides fun and laughing – there’s always a lot of that when she coaches).
FIRST you have to be ready, willing and able
Even the coaches who don’t know the first thing about how the brain works say that, but I don’t know why any coaches put it that way – kinda’ dumb if you ask me. What makes more sense is able first, then ready, and willing last of all!
When I was hardly bigger than my mom’s two fists I wasn’t able to do a lot of things I can do now easy-peasey.
Even once I got a little bigger, my tiny brain was still learning about things like eating crunchy food and running.
It took a while for my brain to be ready before it could even think about being willing to learn to do more – like where it was okay to go to the bathroom, and tricks for treats.
Not that babies are looking for coaching – that would be silly – but when grown up two-legses are sick, or in the middle of something they don’t need help with, or recovering from an operation, they might not be ABLE to add coaching to what they have to manage right then.
My Mom wants me to be sure to add that anybody who’s an active addict will never be able until they are clean and sober for at least a year and working a program.
She says that first they have to be available for change, with a mind that’s not cloudy or thinking about drugs and stuff.
Next you have to be ready
The time has to be right and you have to make room in your days.
- I’m never ready when I’m really sleepy, for example, not even to play some of my favorite games.
- I’m not ready when other dogs are around either. We all have to have private time with our coach to be able concentrate on what were up to.
- And I’m never ever gonna’ to be ready to cut back on my time with my fans at my Cheers bar (where everybody knows my name), even for all the best treats in the world!
They kept missing them over and over – or calling to say that something had come up, like it was the very first time instead of mostly.
They kept themselves too busy to have time to even think about coaching tricks during the week, or do even the simplest coaching homework – like making a list of their challenges or something – and they weren’t ready to say no to something old to make room for something new.
They just weren’t ready period, no matter how much they said they wanted their lives to be easier and better.
Poor Mom had to tell them to come back when they were ready. Even when she first started out and really needed the money, she never kept coaching anybody she couldn’t help.
Like CATS, for example – most cats don’t want to be ready.
They practically dare you to try to make a difference with them.
Mom does whatever she can to make coaching affordable for most anybody who really wants it, but she gives me the family discount (meaning free, since I don’t have any way to get money anyhow I barter with kisses).
But sometimes 2-legses haven’t made room in their budgets for their coaching fees – or else they spent the money they set aside on something they suddenly decided they simply had to have.
That’s another way you have to be ready – for about six months for most 2-legses, according to Mom – which sounds long but really isn’t when you consider that your whole life can be more fun after you pick up a few new tricks.
Anyway, you can keep coaching for as long as you want once you know the basic tricks – even years for some of her clients. There’s always more to learn, and she really helps 2-legses get things done from week to week, so life moves forward easier and faster.
Last but not least you have to be willing
Mom says that mostly means it has to be your own idea. It won’t work if you’re doing it because somebody else decided it would be good for you, for example – or threatened you into it. You probably wouldn’t let it work – like those cats.
Dog clients don’t have to worry about the next part, but 2 legses also have to be willing to tell the truth to their coach, even if that means they have to be willing to feel a little embarrassed sometimes (like when I get caught tearing up paper, for example – whenever it tempts me the room is covered in confetti before I can stop myself).
And you have to be willing to keep getting back on the horse – even though I don’t know if you have to actually be able to ride a horse to be able to get a coach.
I don’t think so, but I’m not really sure about that part. You can ask my mom before you sign up for it, anyway.
The fun starts once you decide you are able, ready and willing!
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THEN you have to understand
I’m pretty smart, so it didn’t take me long to learn what I needed to do when she said stuff like sit up and high-five and shake hands and fetch.
And that turned out to be the only way to get what I wanted: in my case, treats!
But before I could actually do what would work, I was stopped by not understanding what the words meant — and then I had to learn HOW to do what I was supposed to do.
So Mom always makes sure that clients understand how their brains work and what’s stopping them before she coaches them to change and do something different. Then she helps them figure out what they need to change to make things work better for them.
Learning stuff that’s different from what you’ve always heard, changing what you do and making the new stuff a habit is the only way for you to get what YOU want too, you know – whether it’s treats or most anything else that you 2-legses might want more.
Step by Step
When you’re trying to change your whole life, you have to patient with yourself, and take each little bit pretty much one at a time. If you don’t you’ll get confused or totally lose interest.
And there’s a LOT to know – more even than Mom writes about on our blog. Plus, not only is it tailored to fit, you get out of having to read all about it and figure out how it applies by yourself (hoo-hah!).
Coaches like Mom always make sure one piece is in firmly in place before you add the next one. Even if you sometimes drop it out when you’re learning a new trick it comes right back when you pay attention to it again.
- That’s why it’s so important to think about your tricks between coaching sessions, and to practice as much as you can.
- The harder you work, the faster it goes – and the faster it goes, the sooner your life starts to get to the place where you stop spinning around — and get what you want.
If YOU want some help getting what you want out of life, make an appointment to talk to Mom about brain-based coaching with her – she knows a whole lot more than I do and can tell you a whole lot more about it.
And don’t forget to check out the Related Content —
There’s a ton of links to free help, and
I want you to meet some more of my pals
(Still more to come! Go say hi, and be sure to tell them Tink sent you.)
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There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.
Want to work directly with Mom? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to her; she’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. She’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)
You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.
For links in context: run your cursor over the article above and the dark grey links will turn dark red;
(subtle, so they don’t pull focus while you read, but you can find them to click when you’re ready for them)
— and check out the links to other Related Content in each of the articles themselves —
Related articles right here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com
(in case you missed them above or below)
- Brain-based Coaching with Madelyn Griffith-Haynie
- Group Coaching Information LinkList
- Private Coaching Formats & Fees
A Few Other LinkLists by Category (to articles here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com)
- The Optimal Functioning (Challenges) Series of articles
(about the Inventory & articles from each category)
- Back from Boggle™ Series
- The TaskMaster™ Series
- Time & Time Management articles
- The Transition Tamer™ Series
- The Stuff and Nonsense™ Series (clutter management)
- Memory Issues Series
- Top Ten Reasons to Reframe Procrastination
- SLEEP and Sleep Struggles
Related Articles ’round the net
My blogging buds – more to come. Go say hi (and be sure to tell ’em Tink sent you!)
A FEW more links from my PARTY guests!
- Sylvester’s Palm Sunday
- Wacky Weird Strange Animals
- Caturday 2016
- Chill Kitty Sylvester!!
- Too many paws spoil the broth (Oscar Dandelion)
And only the first few from buds who came to see me in Bacon’s SpotLight
- Book Review: Purr-a-noia by Jeanne Foguth. – Rantasalo Home Album
- Notes from a small dog – Finders Keepers
- Lies My Sister Told Me | The Canadian Cats
- About (a great weimaraner!) | Easy Blog
- The Encounter – Emma and the Doe
BY THE WAY: Since ADDandSoMuchMore.com is an Evergreen site, Mom revisits her content periodically to update links — when you link back, like, follow or comment, you STAY on the page. When you do not, she tells me you run a high risk of getting replaced by a site with a more generous come-from.