Happy New Year’s Life Upgrades to YOU
Saturday, December 31, 2016 50 Comments
Resolutions? Affirmations? Intentions?
© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
An edited reposting of an earlier idea
A therapist I know has this to say about change:
“Everybody wants things to be different,
but nobody wants anything to change.”
He doesn’t add, “especially anything about THEM” – but I have always believed that’s what he was really talking about: the devil you know, and all that.
What IS it about change that makes us cringe?
Never one to ask a rhetorical question without some kind of an answer gnawing at the edges of my mind, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking it is – at least where those of us with ADD/EFD brain wiring are concerned: it’s so darned disorienting.
- JUST when we get a few processes on autopilot so that we can finally avoid the dreaded decision-making horror with every step of the process, and . . .
- Just as we get things systematized, automated to the point where short-term memory deficits are no longer as likely to trip us up . . .
- Some idiot updates the software and nothing works the same way anymore. (Those of us in the WordPress.com blogging community know I’m not JUST speaking metaphorically here!)
It’s beyond frustrating – it makes us feel stupid. It’s salt in an ADD/EFD wound that’s barely scabbed over to begin with.
Our only alternative is to revise and adjust, which sometimes feels like beginning anew — and often is exactly like beginning anew.
It seems that ever since the recently deceased futurist Alvin Toffler first published his only-constant-is-change Future Shock in 1970, nothing holds still for very long at all. And, forced to adapt, we are absolutely powerless to do anything else about that but bitch.
Is it any wonder that we want to dig in our heels whenever and wherever we have a bit of power and change doesn’t seem absolutely necessary?
- RESOLVE to change something we’re used to?
- Change something about US?
When pigs fly, and not one moment sooner!
And yet . . .
I’m doing my best to pass for [almost] “normal”
There IS something to that obnoxious saying about doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result that points to a person with one foot over the insanity line.
I don’t know about you, but after repeating a bazillion times to the ADD/EFD clue-free that “ADD/EFD is neurobiological NOT psychological!” I tend to have a bit of a knee-jerk aversion to doing anything that might make me seem, well, certifiably nuts.
So every year, like it or not, I force myself to upgrade my metaphorical software in the hopes of getting a bit of improved functionality out of my metaphorical hardware. I try to think about it the way I used to think about filling my schedule with the coming year’s classes, many years ago when I was in school.
So much for Freshman English – leave it behind, nail shut the door, and stop worrying about the fact that my final term paper might have been really good if I hadn’t waited to begin until midnight the night before it was due.
This year is a brand new start to a whole new me. Sophomore lit, here I come!
As the year exchanges it’s final six for a seven, it’s time to get busy with some change-management – coming up with a game-plan or two to help us navigate the metaphorical waters without capsizing our metaphorical canoes.
Moving right along, that brings us to the narky topic that strikes fear in the hearts of almost everyone everywhere: GOAL SETTING. I am resolved to spend the first month of the New Year noodling goals, resolutions, change and self improvement – so that’s what my next few posts may well center on exploring. (Well, at least as much as my blog posts ever quite CENTER.)
See: A Brand New Year – gulp: Resolutions, Goals, Intentions & Planning
(and why we avoid setting them in place)
Wanna’ play along?
How do YOU approach the process of intentional change?
What’s YOUR most effective method of setting goals, and how do you trick yourselves into taking steps in the direction you’ve mapped for your lives?
- What keeps you motivated to completion?
- What trips you up?
- Do you have fail-safes in place?
- Do you have a Plan B? An exit strategy?
- How do you decide when to DUMP a goal?
- How do you keep from throwing the baby out with the bath water?
Self-help and beyond
We’ll be exploring some of these very things as Group Coaching moves along, as well as the underlying brain-based reasons for a great many functional stumbling blocks — allowing us all to develop the specific work-arounds that we, specifically, need to put in place.
I could post every helpful thought in my ADD head, but how many of you are likely to actually DO much of anything different without ongoing support for that follow-through part of the equation?
None-the-less, right here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com, I’ll share some of my secrets if you’ll share some of yours. (Oh, who am I trying to kid, I’ll no-doubt continue to share more than a few of mine regardless, but it sure would be a lot more fun if you’d join me on the jaunt.)
Are you game?
As repeat visitors know, consistent with my goal of spreading the “co-opetition” meme across the ADD/EFD universe, in addition to linking to related posts at the end of most of my own, I occasionally start a post here and link elsewhere for the rest of it.
I wrote an earlier version of this post back in 2011, for my blog at the old ADDerWorld (on the Ning platform, which “improved” itself until its major supporters jumped ship because the platform became too big a headache – heads up WordPress).
After agonizing for an EFD-acceptable period of time, I made what turned out to be an excellent decision, broke my own rule and chose to double post. I really DO want to collect and compile *your* comments and thoughts on this topic — INCLUDING those of you who are professional coaches yourselves — OKAY? (Never fear, I’m huge on attribution)!
Still struggling to come up with 2017’s whatever-you-call-’ems?
Below is a handy-dandy helper that, as one of the comments under its original SOURCE cleverly shared, for most of us, we can mark almost all of our resulting intentions DONE almost as quickly as we generate them.
Happy New Year to all of you who read, like, follow and comment here – and my undying gratitude to those of you who have been kind enough to help spread the EF/mental health awareness word through your reblogs and links.
God willin’ and the crik don’t rise (as they say in the American South)
I’ll connect with you again on the other side of the calendar.
BTW – comments are always encouraged and eagerly awaited (and never closed). As long as you don’t make individual people wrong, and do your best to avoid the dreaded “should” word, I will approve all comers (link-spammers shot on sight, however).
© 2011 – 2016, all rights reserved
Check bottom of Home/New to find out the “sharing rules”
(reblogs always okay, and much appreciated)
As always, if you want notification of new articles in this Series – or any new posts on this blog – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered for this one too). STRICT No Spam Policy
IN ANY CASE, do stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.
Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)
You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.
For links in context: run your cursor over the article above and the dark grey links will turn dark red;
(subtle, so they don’t pull focus while you read, but you can find them to click when you’re ready for them)
— and check out the links to other Related Content in each of the articles themselves —
Related articles right here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com
(in case you missed them above or below)
- Winners, Top 20 Blog Award 2012
- Life in the Now Lane (my quirky take on Time)
- Ghost-writers who are actually ghosts (my quirky take on follow-through)
- Reframing Finishing – from a writer’s point of view
(a more serious guest-post from Bryan Hutchinson, author & founder of ADDerWorld.com)
- TaskMaster – Getting things DONE!
(the first in a series on the subject – actually serious about it!)
Two more LinkLists by Category (to articles here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com)
- The Optimal Functioning (Challenges) Series of articles
(about the Inventory & articles from each category)
- The MASTER LinkList
Related Posts ’round the ‘net
- The Best ADD ADHD Blogs
(ADDandSoMuchMore.com was generously included on that list!)
- Motivational interview with a man who had to deal with A LOT of dramatic change (on the blog of a brand new blogger)
- 2017 will be a Fabulous Year (a great reminder of the importance of attitude!)
- Wonderful Quotes (with context) to help you remain positive
- Toffler passes away in June 2016 at the age of 87
BY THE WAY: Since ADDandSoMuchMore.com is an Evergreen site, I revisit all my content periodically to update links — when you link back, like, follow or comment, you STAY on the page. When you do not, you run a high risk of getting replaced by a site with a more generous come-from.