Happy New Year’s Life Upgrades to YOU


Resolutions? Affirmations? Intentions?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
An edited reposting of an earlier idea

Drawing of a hand, arm, quill pen and paper, under the words New Year Resolutions - as if in handwriting.

A therapist I know has this to say about change:

“Everybody wants things to be different,
but nobody wants anything to change.”

He doesn’t add, “especially anything about THEM” – but I have always believed that’s what he was really talking about: the devil you know, and all that.

What IS it about change that makes us cringe?  

Never one to ask a rhetorical question without some kind of an answer gnawing at the edges of my mind, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking it is – at least where those of us with ADD/EFD brain wiring are concerned: it’s so darned disorienting.

  • JUST when we get a few processes on autopilot so that we can finally avoid the dreaded decision-making horror with every step of the process, and . . .
  • Just as we get things systematized, automated to the point where short-term memory deficits are no longer as likely to trip us up . . .
  • Some idiot updates the software and nothing works the same way anymore. (Those of us in the WordPress.com blogging community know I’m not JUST speaking metaphorically here!)

It’s beyond frustrating – it makes us feel stupid. It’s salt in an ADD/EFD wound that’s barely scabbed over to begin with.

Our only alternative is to revise and adjust, which sometimes feels like beginning anew — and often is exactly like beginning anew.

It seems that ever since the recently deceased futurist Alvin Toffler first published his only-constant-is-change Future Shock in 1970, nothing holds still for very long at all.  And, forced to adapt, we are absolutely powerless to do anything else about that but bitch.

Is it any wonder that we want to dig in our heels whenever and wherever we have a bit of power and change doesn’t seem absolutely necessary?

  • RESOLVE to change something we’re used to?
  • Change something about US?

When pigs fly, and not one moment sooner!

And yet . . .

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Mental Health Awareness for January 2017


January Mental Health Awareness

Along with Advocacy & Awareness
for other mental health related issues
(and a calendar for the month!)

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the ADD/ADHD Cormidities series

It takes one person to make a difference —
just think of what thousands can do.

~ Psychology Today 2016 Awareness Calendar

A bit early for January

I am using the lull between Christmas Day and New Years Eve to post January’s Awareness list.

I’m pretty sure that nobody will be in any kind of shape to pay attention to it on New Year’s Day (nor am I likely to be in any kind of shape to get it up on January first myself!)

Mark your blogging calendars anyway

Every month and many days of the year have been set aside to promote awareness or advocacy of an illness, disability, or other special-needs-related cause. Scroll down to use this January index to make sure you mark those special occasions this month.

In addition to a calendar for the current month, each Awareness post usually offers a list highlighting important days and weeks that impact and intersect with mental health issues.

May 2017 be the year
when EVERYONE becomes aware of
the crying need for upgraded mental health Awareness.

If I’ve missed anything, please let me know in a comment so that I can add it to the list below.

Attention Bloggers: If you write (or have written) an article that adds content, feel free to leave a link in the comment section and I will move it into it into the Related Content on this post.

Included on every Awareness Month list are awareness and advocacy reminders for health problems that intersect, exacerbate or create problems with cognition, mood, memory, follow-through and attention management.

Stay tuned for more articles about Executive Functioning struggles and management throughout the year (and check out the Related Posts for a great many already published.

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A Mardi Gras END to Christmas Festivities


As Mardi Gras/Carnival Season begins
(with festivities that continue until Lent)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Edited reblog from Happy Eve before Mardi Gras, 2015

About Mardi Gras – why here (and NOW)?

Since my ex-husband and I both attended grad school in New Orleans, we had three years to experience the celebrations of Mardi Gras – from King Cake parties to balls to parades and so-much-more. I relish the opportunity to share “insider” Mardi Gras knowledge gleaned from my personal experiences in New Orleans over several seasons.

I’m posting this reblog just a tad early this year, in case some of you might be inspired to set up a quick trip while there still might be a hotel room to be had.

Mardi Gras beads in the traditional colors: green, purple and gold – thrown from the floats by MANY different Krew members riding in the many, MANY parades they sponsor

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A different kind of Christmas Special from PorterGirl


Christmas Special:
The Tale Of The Cursed Hat

A wonderfully presented, original Christmas tale
from the creator of The Secret Diary Of PorterGirl.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a GOOD night!

NOT your average Hallmark™ Fare

If you find yourself a bit over-“joy”ed by the time Christmas Eve rolls along, this is a different kind of Christmas story with just a bit of a gothic twist to the ending.

It is beautifully read by actor Paul Butterworth, whom some of you may know from appearances in more than a few of the PorterGirl videos, even if you are unaware of his other theatrical credits.

Paul plays the Head Porter in the PorterGirl adventures – and author Lucy Brazier has posted a great deal of them online for both your viewing and reading pleasure.

Keep an eye peeled for the credits too – his director son does a lovely job of telling him what to do onscreen.

You’ll have to hop over to HER site to access the video (what you see below is just a still), but below that is what she has to say about Paul and the story.

‘Tis the season for festive storytelling, so please welcome Old College’s very own Head Porter – British actor Paul Butterworth – reading to us a Christmas tale I have written especially for the occasion.

Paul has appeared in films such as The Full Monty and Frank, and is a stalwart of British TV – performing in soap operas, The Bill, All Creatures Great & Small, The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Holby City, Mysteries Of The Real Sherlock Holmes and many, many more.

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We ALL wish you a Merry Christmas!


Christmas Spirit Fun
Time on your hands headin’ toward Christmas? Feeling blue?
Check out these links for a hit of feel better fast
(or just plain fun)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Christmas Happy Christmas Series

Merry Happy EVERY thing!

Since Christmas is my thing, the name of that particular holiday will be featured most prominently in any of my winter holiday articles.

But I hope you’re ALL enjoying yourselves and your traditions, no matter which end-of-year holidays YOU observe:

Hanukkah – Kwanza – Solstice – Ramadan – Shawwal – Black Friday – Cyber Monday – St. Nicholas Day – Boxing Day – Christmas Card Day – New Years – Twelfth Night – Festivus – or even You’re Welcome Day.

Then there’s Fruitcake Toss Day or National Bicarbonate of Soda Day (which, according to the Holiday Insights website, actually exist)along with my personal favorite on November 9th, Chaos Never Dies Day – even though most of YOU probably missed it this year!

Like Christmas Windows: Here to Visit Now or Later

What’s YOUR situation this December?

Many of you are hyper-busy Christmas do-bees as Santa’s big day draws near, but many of you are NOT.

Some of you have let me know that you are alone this season – for various reasons – and more than just a bit down about that fact.

I have heard from more than a few of you who have been praying for the time when the kids were grown up and on their own so things weren’t so harried — but now that time has come, it’s not exactly what you thought it would be.  Something seems missing from your Christmas jingle all the way.

Others can’t get home — or are home-bound — for the holidays, and you don’t know how to capture any sort of Christmasy feeling on your own.

  • Pour yourself a cup of something warm – or a glass of something festive – and click the links below for a virtual visit to some bloggers who will give you a hit of those warm fuzzies (or cheer you up with a bit of Christmas humor).
  • Allow me to take you on a virtual field trip for some Christmas cheer up.
  • Those of you who desperately need a bit of a break, dropping in on some fun you don’t have to do a darned thing to make happen is just what Mrs. Claus advises when Santa gets overwhelmed (like clicking below to visit a few of the links, for example).
  • Some of the links will take you to heart-warming article; others will take you to virtual kitchens or visits to the homes of others.
  • Sit back, relax, click, and allow yourselves ENJOY.

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How to navigate those “Home Alone” Holidays


The Single Person’s Holiday Playbook

(Putting an end to those awkward holidays!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
An edited reblog of a previously published article

ENOUGH with the questions from well-meaning others!

Whether we are alone by choice or circumstance, holidays can be, at best, awkward.

Found on: Lolsnaps

“Have any plans for the upcoming holiday?” can be asked at any moment – even by total strangers trying to be friendly in grocery lines.

ANY version of, “Not really,” is something they do NOT, actually, want to hear.

Nor is it something that most of us who are already feeling marooned are eager to utter aloud.

No Mom, s/he won’t be coming

As any single person who’s ever gone “HOME for the holidays” can probably tell you, being “unpartnered” during special family events can present a unique set of challenges, especially the first time.

It runs the gamut:

  • from feeling awkward, maybe a bit defensive about your [lack of] relationship status this particular holiday,
  • all the way to feeling that you must either “ruin everyone’s holiday with a display of pique” -or-
  • grit your teeth, grin and bear it as you attempt to find a way to politely field unintentionally rude inquiries about why you happen to be alone.

The Formerly Familied

Far too many individuals who are divorced, widowed, separated (or outliving their families and many of their friends) can find solo-holidays sad and depressing.

A friend of mine, an emotionally healthy, extremely self-reliant, empty-nest single parent says her married kids “make other plans” for major holidays — at the very least every other year.

She really doesn’t resent the reality that the kids have their own lives, hope to start their own family traditions, and deserve to feel unconflicted about making holiday plans that won’t always include her,  BUT . . .

She says that she can’t face cooking a holiday meal for one OR going to a restaurant alone when everyone but her seems to have somebody celebrating WITH them.

She also finds it unbearably depressing to fuff around in her pajamas and slippers ALL day, even though she feels like she is “all dressed up with no place to go” if she doesn’t.

Reaching out to help others?

Even singles who volunteer at soup kitchens and so on have to make it through at least a portion of the day totally alone, at a time that was once known for family get-togethers.

People who never drink anything stronger than root beer have confessed that the idea of becoming a regular at their town’s version of the Cheers bar crosses their minds more than a few times, just to have somewhere to go and a few people to talk to on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve.

Different ways to make it work . . .

Since I have spent most of the major holidays alone for many years now, I’m hoping that I will be able to help you look at things in ways you haven’t already thought of, tried and rejected.

In any case, I’m not planning to rehash the holiday survival tips already found all over the internet (but in case you have missed a few bloggy ideas, check out the articles under the Related Articles ’round the net heading in the links below the original post.)

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

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The REAL Christmas Elves


Santa couldn’t do it without us!
Proof that we can do more than cuddle or blog

Guest blogger: TinkerToy

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

My FIRST Christmas post (and my first sort-of reblog)

Mom found this video and said I could use it in my first Christmas post.  It was originally posted by Xena on her Black Butterfly blog with the following introduction:

I never get enough of this video. It’s produced by Fresh Pets.

The music is festive, but really loud,
so you might want to lower the volume on your speakers
before you click on the little triangle thing in the middle.

Source: Santa’s Canines (and Felines) Make Toys | We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident

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Christmas Gifts – the thought that counts


Makin’ Your Lists:
Checkin’ ’em TWICE?

When are we going to learn
to start even EARLIER?!

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Christmas Memories

Do you recall the gifts you received through the years?  I don’t.  Not really.

Oh, I can think of a few really special presents, but mostly they all dissolve into a blur of crumpled wrapping paper, bows and snips of ribbon — all over the floor.

I more clearly remember tearing into oversized felt stockings on Christmas morning, hand-crafted by my mother for each member of our family of seven, our names embroidered in sparkles on the cuffs.

Each of us were delighted with mere trinkets, chocolate treats, and the tangerine always stuffed into the toe.

She attached a string of jingle bells to each hanging loop to let everyone know that someone was getting into a stocking!

You see, what I remember most vividly are the memories of those Christmas times – and they are really all that remain from the Christmases of most of my life:

  • finally digging out the ornaments, untangling the lights and trimming the tree
  • snow-crusted mittens and red noses from sledding on glorious snow days (when the schools were closed!)
  • wrapping presents purchased “with my own money”
  • eggnog and my mother reading Christmas stories
  • buttered popcorn and hot chocolate as we watched classic Christmas films in front of an old-style television set
  • Helping to prepare Christmas dinners – even some of the conversations around those Christmas tables through the year.

What do YOU recall loving most?

A different kind of Christmas

When I was a kid, a family down the street gave NO presents that could be unwrapped.  I was never sure whether to feel sorry for my friend or be jealous of her wonderful Christmases, year after year — but now that I am much older, there is no doubt in my mind which of us got the better deal.

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Another Visit from St. What’s-his-Name


ADD and Christmas Too
“Reprint” of something wonderful from years ago

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

One of my FAVORITE Presents

I want to give you just a bit of back-story before I share one of the most clever of the versions of the rewriting of the Clement Moore original — ESPECIALLY for ADDers, ADD Coaches and anyone struggling with Executive Functioning challenges and oopses!

Janine Baker, one of my long-time best friends, is one of the most fabulously creative people I know. Although she does not have ADD herself, she GETS it, “thanks” to an up-close-and-personal relationship with me (and the fact that she was an early graduate of my ADD Coach Training)!

She also gives some of the very best presents. So when I tell you that this poem she wrote many years ago for my first website is among my very favorite presents EVER, understand that it has some stiff competition.

She gifted me the copyright along with the poem, so I own all rights to it.

If you share it (and I hope you WILL), you must provide a link back to this post and credit both the Optimal Functioning Institute™ and the author.  (It is slated for inclusion in an upcoming ADD Anthology, so don’t drop out “ownership” and link or things might get legal, okay?)

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Elfing for Santa!


Deck the Halls & Play the Carols
(Watch the movies … bake the cookies … and jingle those bells!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Edited from Happy Thanksgiving-Make Way for Christmas

Fair warning: This is not going to be a rant about the season.

Grab a drink!

Grinches and Humbugs are likely to need one, and the rest of us will be prepared for a merry toast to the season festivities to come.

Turkey_Drinks

Even before most of the Thanksgiving leftovers had been eaten or frozen, many of our neighbors began to string colored lights on the eaves of their houses, into their trees and winding ’round their bushes.

I am starting to see front door wreaths, lawn reindeer, and angels with glowing halos as well.  And I love it!

Anyone who knows me, even a little, will attest to the fact that I’m a card-carrying Christmas ELF – a regular Emmy Lou Who**.

I simply LOVE Christmas – the whole Christmas season (“Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason”)**

**Both from How the Grinch Stole Christmas
by Theodor “Dr. Seuss” Geisel

I start thinking about rounding up my humongous collection of MP3s, DVDs, CDs, and tapes of ALL types of Christmas music the very first day the horrid summer heat wave shows signs of dipping below 80 degrees.

I especially love decorating for the Christmas season

And I like to deck the halls with a-whole-lot-more than boughs of holly!

I’m big on candles and garlands, trees and wreaths and stockings, Santas, sleighs and reindeer — and nutcrackers, and sugar plums — and Byers Choice Carolers (which I began collecting long before anyone else had ever heard of Joyce Byers!)

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

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Happy Santa Claus Day


Good Little Dutch Girls & Boys
will wake up to presents in their wooden shoes tomorrow

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
A Christmas Reflections Post

A bit of explanation

From the analysis of the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas on the [mostly Dutch-language] blog of Samhildanach, a Dutch religious studies scholar says:

“Sinterklaas is the festival of St. Nicholas of Myra . . . [which is surrounded by] a lot of mythology . . . although little of that is commonly known.

This saint is portrayed as a venerable man in a red and gold bishop’s gown . . . Principally, the festival is meant for young children to around the age of eight.

The young . . . believe that Sinterklaas lives in Spain [and] visits the Netherlands every year in a steam ship, accompanied by his helpers, the dark-skinned Zwarte Pieten ‘Black Petes’, dressed in frivolous colours, to offer presents to all [well-behaved] children.

Those [who] have been naughty risk [being] caned by Zwarte Piet, or in extreme cases, [being] forced in the sack and taken back to Spain.”

The article goes on to explain that the period of Sinterklaas begins at some point in November every year – a national, televised event when St. Nicholas of Myra arrives at the dock, disembarking with his white horse and his attendant(s).

“From this moment on, the children [may] put down their shoes in front of the hearth. [. . .] The morning after, a small present will be in their shoes.

The festival is mainly celebrated in the Netherlands, but there are some local variations to be found in Belgium and Germany, encompassing differentiated local traditions.”

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

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THANKS to all who read & commented on My Birthday Prayer


You are much appreciated
AND there is more to be done & more we ALL can do

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Mental Health Awareness Series

Turning a Comment into a Post

I added a comment to my Birthday Post to thank my readers and followers for the amazing response from so many of you who took the time to read the story behind my prayer.

I so appreciate everyone who commented with empathy, as well as with the disgust that *I* feel for the TRAGIC and avoidable murder of the son of a good friend, colleague, and leading light in the ADD community.

I am expanding it into an Advocacy article, hoping that more of you will see it.

So what’s the MORE?

God Bless YOU all – and now I hope everyone will be proactive, speaking truth to “power” with a reach further than that of the blogging community.

I ask you to write or call your elected representatives and local hospital administrators – and that you repeat this story to your doctors with an expression of concern that something similar could EVER happen to you or someone you love.

It’s desperately needed, regardless of where you live in the free world.

The police are not the central problem here – but their lack of mental health training IS a serious issue that has needed addressing for a very long time. And that, my friends, is a matter for specifically targeted appropriations – or, as it turns out, lack thereof.

The APA (American Psychological Association) and AMA (Medical) could us a major tune up as well.

What happened medically that allowed this tragedy to occur was and IS INexcusable, totally avoidable and, unfortunately, not rare.

We, too, can become effective Lobbyists

ALL decision and policy makers need to be encouraged to assign a staff member to start reading the blogs of the mental health advocates, the chronic pain & PTSD sufferers and of a great many individuals attempting to get adequate and EMPATHETIC care from their doctors and nurses.

Many too many health care professionals seem more afraid of black and white DEA retribution – due to the way in which the DEA enforces their policies, intended to lower drug abuse statistics, to undercut the effective treatment for a variety of disabilities and disorders – than they are of being called out for providing seriously substandard care to many in the mental health community. REGULARLY.

Inexcusable, of course, but professional cowardice is at least understandable on some level.  What is NOT understandable is the rude and insensitive way in which many patients are treated by the doctors and nurses they look to and PÅY for help and understanding.

I see tales of lousy treatment on most of the blogs – and insensitive treatment on ALL of them. 

I hope that everyone who has posted an article supporting this statement will leave a link in a comment — those will become the only Related Posts for this article.

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Mental Health Awareness in December


A Light Month, Awareness-wise

So let’s take a look at what our
recently elected politicians have in store for healthcare

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the Mental Health Awareness series

It takes one person to make a difference —
just think of what thousands can do.

~ Psychology Today 2016 Awareness Calendar

For your blogging calendars

Each year is peppered with a great many special dates dedicated to raising awareness about important emotional, physical and psychological health issues.

In addition to a calendar for the current month, each Awareness post usually offers a list highlighting important days and weeks that impact mental health, along with those that remain in place for the entire month.

In December, the only thing I could find remotely related was this:

National Aplastic Anemia Awareness Week — 
December 1-7
Aplastic Anemia and MDS International Foundation

If I’ve missed anything, please let me know in the comments below so that I can add it to the list.

Attention Bloggers: As always, if you write (or have written) an article that adds content to this post, feel free to leave a link in the comment section and I will move it into its appropriate category.

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