My 2016 Birthday Prayer


Today is my birthday
but, awakening from a nightmare,
I’m not feeling very happy right now

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

First, my birthday prayer:

The personal story behind both the prayer and my recurring nightmares follows below.

PLEASE God, we seriously need to upgrade the health-care system in this country. We need a clean sweep of the Mammon-worshipping insurance industry, God, clearing out everyone who is getting rich off the health challenges of the citizens of this country.

Please make everyone aware that, most importantly, we desperately need to FIX America’s woefully inadequate mental health care system, as we vastly improve mental health awareness in the entire country – including empathy for the poor, the homeless and every single one of our veterans.

Lay it on the heart of every single American with breath enough to speak, God. Let them know it like *I* know it, feel it like *I* feel it

Make them realize that action can no longer be procrastinated, regardless of whether America’s new administration is willing to understand or is otherwise uninspired to take effective steps toward solutions that are more than sound-bites and cronyism.

Let the world finally understand that jails and prisons are no place for those who are mentally ill, God, and that Law Enforcement without in-depth mental health training has NO place dealing with the mentally ill.

Amen

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The personal story behind my prayer

Three years ago, in the heat of a hot July of 2013, I lost my friend and colleague Peggy Ramundo. She became a shell of her former self when, after a series of losses already, her son Jeremy was shot twice in the kidneys by a police officer — at point-blank range — while he was secured face-down as police officers tazed him.

Peggy is only now beginning to return to her positive self well enough that we are are beginning to talk about making plans to resume our ADD in the Spirit training.

I’ll know I have her back once more when I no longer see the darkness in her eyes every time we hear a siren, or with every mention of having to jump through the hoops to get the monthly medication she needs to drive her own ADD brain.

Why today?

Awakening today from another nightmare of the events, I believe it is finally time for me to describe them, hoping to somehow lay them to rest in my own mind.

Jeremy was killed by a police officer, supposedly “in self-defense,” despite the reality that Jeremy was securely restrained — murdered by a man who was “merely” doing what he was trained to do to protect “society” from criminals.

The problem is, the young man he murdered wasn’t a criminal.

He was a highly intelligent, seriously mentally ill, desperately terror-stricken young man who was thought well of for years of even-tempered, kind interactions with all who met him, even by the vendors of the commerce section of our our small walking neighborhood in the Gaslight District of Cincinnati, Ohio.

The vet who cared for his cats for several years told my friend Peggy that the care of Jeremy’s last surviving animal was no-charge for the rest of Kaiser’s life – such was the regard in which Jeremy was held for the love and consideration he had always shown his pets.

Everybody in the medical profession dropped the ball on this kid — despite his mother’s desperate attempts to get him effective care.

LOUSY Mental Health Care

During a prior hospitalization, when Jeremy went peacefully with the officers who were called to escort him, the hospital staff made sure that he would never go willingly into their care again — ignoring his pleas that they contact his doctor for verification of his assertion that he was to be maintained on his anti-anxiety medication.

They stood by, leaving him to cower in abject terror in the corner of a shower for three solid days, overcome finally with the severe anxiety that had been managed adequately – but not well – for ten solid years on the Xanax that was suddenly refused him.

Even before they have graduated, any of my coaches would have known better than to neglect to taper that medication — or at least to check the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) before suddenly withdrawing it.  Anti-anxiety medications of that class cannot be suddenly withdrawn — especially after so long a time — without bringing on the possibility of a psychotic break.

Even my ADD Coach Trainings cover the need for some medications to be tapered – and that one of the side-effects of a sudden withdrawal from Xanax is paranoia. LOUSY idea for a patient who comes in with paranoia level anxiety, huh?

How could any mental health facility not know that? 

  • Since they don’t seem to have covered this vital information in nursing school – and doctors don’t seem to take the time to read patient charts anymore – wouldn’t you think that the hospital would at least have a rule that the DSM must be consulted before starting or stopping medication?
  • Not at THIS hospital’s psych ward, apparently, ironically considered one of the best here in Cincinnati, which at least one advocate attorney that Peggy consulted claims has some of the best mental health training in the entire country.

And what does THAT tell you?

BAD medicine overall

The most knowlegeable of the doctors in New York who are treating patients like Jeremy prescribe Valium.  When Jeremy inquired about a trial, after many years of meds-compliance, he was told by his supposedly expert Cincinatti doctor that he didn’t even believe in prescribing Xanax – that Jeremy was an exception.

He went on to say that if Jeremy continued his “drug seeking behavior” by mentioning it again, he would refuse to continue to sign off on the Xanax.  He went on to threaten to put his name “on a list” so that he would be unable to obtain anti-anxiety medication from any other doctor.

Why is that NOT malpractice?
Whose care is that “respected” doctor mangling now?

(the head of one of the psych wards here, btw)

This particular doctor heard the hospital tale above after Jeremy returned home, swearing that he would NEVER allow himself to be “incarcerated” like that again.  Wasn’t there a time when a patient’s primary doctor paid a visit to hospitalized patients WHILE they were in the hospital?  I wonder now, did Jeremy’s doctor even bother to pick up the phone and call the admitting office?

“Next time, call here, come here” the doctor said, listening to Jeremy’s tale of his treatment.  You learn to expect periodic relapses with severe mental illness.  You try – in vain – to plan ahead.

Jeremy called for an emergency appointment THREE separate times in the month before he was murdered – only to be informed by the receptionist that there was no room at the Inn for at least another month.

His doctor didn’t even bother to return a call to find out what was going on.

Only once his mother made her frantic and insistent call, informing this “professional” that Jeremy’s mind had shattered, were they willing to make an exception and squeeze him in — AFTER it was too late and Jeremy could no longer be persuaded that there were any good intentions toward him from that office.

And so the police were called to escort him back to the hospital, fully informed of all parameters of the situation, one of which was the gun that Jeremy, highly paranoid by this time, tucked into the front waist-band of his pants for his own protection.

Mental Health Training?  Hardly!

Several of the five officers they sent to ambush him had NO mental health training what-so-ever.  They caught up with him, bursting through the door commando-style, on the back porch area of the local Bar and Restaurant where he had gone to smoke, after calmly eating a hamburger at the bar, speaking amicably to another patron sitting near him (and willing to testify to that fact).

When Peggy got word of what was happening she rushed to the area, where police treated her like a criminal.  They locked her into the back of a police car, without even so much as cracking a window – refusing to let her out to join Jeremy’s father and sister, only a few yards away.

Even pet owners know NOT to lock an animal in a car: aware that it can reach temperatures of 90 degrees and above very quickly in that situation – and that death can result. ONLY once the ambulance left the area with Jeremy’s body, was she freed, woozy and dripping.

There were witnesses to what happened, but neither the press nor the police investigating this incident chose to report what was seen.

I learned of the events in time to join Peggy at the hospital, where NO ONE would even tell her whether her son was alive or not.  You don’t want to know how she finally learned that her beloved son was dead.

The press appeared like maggots, so we hustled her out an alternate exit.

She couldn’t even go home, thanks to insensitive reporters camping out in front of her house, eager to shove a microphone her way and photograph her grieving face, hassling her neighbors for comments.  She hid out at my apartment for two weeks, where I handed out tissues to dry her tears and listened to her repeatedly describe every single detail of this ordeal.

Is it any wonder that we BOTH continue to have nightmares over this situation?

Related Post: When Breaking News Becomes Personal

So it seems we’re on our own here

Unless and until things change radically, we can expect little help, even from many so-called professionals whom we pay for understanding and treatment.

I pray that none of YOU experience insensitive “treatment” of this type from your health-care “professionals,” even as I am aware from reading the blogs of many of the readers of ADDandSoMuchMORE.com that you do.

Meanwhile, consider enrolling in my low-cost Group Coaching for more than a little non-pharmaceutical, brain-based help and and a great deal of understanding.

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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with Executive Functioning struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

108 Responses to My 2016 Birthday Prayer

  1. Wendy says:

    It’s wonderful of you to share this story on your birthday. I’d like to take just a short moment to say I’m glad you were born, and I celebrate because of that.

    This story is such a travesty. You are so right that police aren’t trained for such events. I don’t think police are trained much at all. and a lot of mental health officials seem to not care, or are not trained. I really don’t understand all of that. I’ve had a mental health dr, mess up my meds, ignore my phone calls….ect. but I was not in dire straits at least. Could have been close, but I got help elsewhere.

    I have friend now who is being treated much like Jeremy was by his dr and the anxiety medications. They don’t want to give it to her. they want to stop it abruptly. It is crazy. They will give her enough for 1 Xanax a day. She is beside herself. They can’t seem to find medication to help her, but she won’t try different things. It is really ridiculous. She has been in crisis for years now. I fear for her life every day. Yet her insurance is fighting her getting a new doctor. Ugh!!!

    You mention writing our representatives. You are such a good writer. Would you be willing to write a petition? Let’s get this thing going. Let’s get people to sign. let’s get the government to pay attention!

    xo
    w

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Wendy, and I’m sorry to hear about the dead ends that your friend keeps running into. I wish we could ALL say that stories like that are extremely rare, but we know that they are actually common. Some of the treatment that your doctors extended to YOU, reported on Picnic with Ants, have broken my heart and made me furious (especially the story about that insensitive nurse!).

      Will you come back and post a link to that one?

      As for spearheading petition efforts – it also breaks my heart to report that, even though I know that no one ever takes me literally when I take the time to say this, I truly can NOT take on more unless somebody steps forward to pay my bills and support my advocacy efforts.

      After decades of [mostly unpaid] efforts and considerable [almost totally unpaid] time spent jump-starting the coaching careers of others, my reserves are non-existent. There is only so much “taking my eye off the roof-keeping ball” that I can do and remain afloat. Unless a benefactor steps forward, I simply cannot dip into the limited time I reserve for that little chore.

      Thanks so much for your faith in me. You are not the first person to try to talk me into being in charge of still more, but that is an effort I hope to inspire someone ELSE to take on.

      The good news is that I have read that politicians weigh “single-person” letters more heavily than petition signatures – so if everybody would step up just a bit, it would make a HUGE difference.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Wendy says:

        ha…which story about a rude nurse? I have too many stories to link to. It would take me a while to try to find posts that work. I don’t think I used tags well enough because I can never find what I need. 🙂
        Perhaps we should draft up a letter that others can kind of plug in parts so they are more likely to do it. I wish I was better at that kind of thing. You really are very good at it. I’m just thinking that if there is a draft of a letter that people can just put in their name and little bits of information then they will be more likely to send a letter off than they will if they have to write the whole letter by themselves. They get too confused. I know I do. We need a template. That’s the word.

        I wish I could be your benefactor. You are such an amazing person and wonderful advocate. I always want you fighting on my side.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’m sure you are correct – but ask PAID advocates about the time it takes to put that together and support everyone who has questions and needs help. (And about how easily things can backfire on YOU if you are not johnny-on-the-spot with that support).

          I know it sounds quick and easy unless you have been the one in the driver’s seat. I promise you it is NOT, and that I truly can’t do things like that anymore without a paycheck or a benefactor.

          I can’t tell you how MUCH I wish it were otherwise, but that would mean that I’d have to go back in time to charge higher tuition to ALL from the beginning, insist on licensing fees for everyone using the materials I developed, offer fewer scholarships and sliding scale fees for clients.

          I would also have to have stopped working with (or training) anyone the MOMENT they couldn’t keep up with their financial agreement with me, and gone after them in court for arrears. (Doesn’t sound much like me, does it?)

          It was my choice at the time, but I can no longer afford it, Wendy. I’m juggling as fast as I can. Please try to understand and believe me, because it makes me feel lousy to have to justify why I must keep saying no.

          I can and WILL always be fighting on your side, however. And I love you for your support and wonderful comments aimed my way.

          RE: a link – I’m sure ANY of your experiences with so MUCH substandard care will underscore my point about the need for better awareness and training as well as ANY other.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Wendy says:

            Darling, I never meant to make you feel I was putting you on the spot, or expecting more from you than you can give. I’d never. You know how I feel about that. I don’t even like goals.
            You are an amazing woman.
            You spark a fire.

            Liked by 1 person

            • It’s not REALLY you, Wendy. It’s my own black and white thinking that gets triggered whenever I read suggestions of what more I could do. I can’t stand it that I’m not some super-human spirit who could change the world if only she could work longer-harder-etc. You are an amazing woman too – and thanks, for understanding and taking the time to let me know that you do.
              Happy Santa Claus Day, btw.
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

  2. akiwifreund says:

    Reblogged this on The Sick and the Dating and commented:
    I encourage you to read this.

    I encourage you to watch the documentary “The 13th” on Netflix.

    I encourage you to think about how little training the police have to deal with such things as a mental health crisis, or domestic violence, or race relations. I encourage you to think about how much our prison systems are set up in the U.S. only for profit as a rule and not as the exception. I encourage you to expect accountability from police, from doctors, from mental health facilities who are tasked with caring for patients with a variety of diagnoses. I encourage you to think about how every person is different and there is no textbook, across-the-board answer.

    I encourage you to think of every person as having value.
    + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

    Like

    • GOD BLESS YOU! Thank you so much for spreading the word of how desperately new paradigms are needed.

      I especially love your last sentence: “I encourage you to think of every person as having value.”

      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • akiwifreund says:

        It is the very least I can do. I cried as I read your story.

        Liked by 1 person

        • And I cried – again – as I reported it. Truly, I *so* appreciate your help making this information more widely available.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: THANKS to all who read & commented on My Birthday Prayer | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  4. I am adding a comment to my own article to thank the very many of you who took the time to read this post and those who commented with empathy, as well as the disgust that *I* feel for a TRAGIC and unnecessary result.

    God Bless YOU all – I wish everyone would be proactive and speak truth to “power.” Write your elected representatives. It’s desperately needed.

    The police are not the problem – but their lack of mental health training IS a serious issue that has needed addressing for a very long time. And that, my friends, is a matter for specifically targeted appropriations – or, as it turns out, lack thereof.

    The APA (American Psychological Association) and AMA (Medical) could us a major tune up as well. What happened medically was and IS INexcusable, totally avoidable and, unfortunately, not rare.

    They *all* need to be encouraged to start reading the blogs of the mental health advocates, the chronic pain & PTSD sufferers and of a great many individuals attempting to get adequate and EMPATHETIC care from their doctors and nurses who seem more afraid of black and white ignorance by the DEA in the way they employ drug-abuse policies for a variety of disabilities and disorders than they are of providing seriously substandard care. REGULARLY.

    I see tales of lousy treatment on most of the blogs – and insensitive treatment on ALL of them. Until the decision makers become aware of what’s happening in the trenches as the result of the laws THEY enact on the advice of biased lobbyists and favor-trading colleagues, it will NEVER happen.

    I understand that health care providers are overworked and understaffed BUT at the end of the day, most of them get to go home healthy and whole. Sufferers get no such break.

    We can and *must* expect, at the very least, kind and considerate treatment from every single one of them EVERY SINGLE TIME — and hold them accountable when they do not follow DSM protocols or refuse emergency appointments from their patients.

    WHILE we’re complaining about what needs a serious overhaul – the insurance industry is w-a-y outa’ hand. It ALL begins and ends with public awareness and a willingness to step UP and sing out. I truly appreciate those take the time to read and comment – and blog these issues themselves – *and* we need to make our opinions known higher up.
    xx,
    mgh

    Liked by 3 people

    • ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      BELOW is additional information that a blogger left in an exchange following a reblog of this article on his own blog, Debatable News
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      I researched the story a little further. The triggerman in the story you posted was a police officer who resigned when investigated for another issue (non-homicidal police misconduct).

      Apparently the “game was up” and he left instead of facing “discipline.” Unfortunately he did not resign early enough to save the life in the story you mentioned.

      It is looking more and more like a call to the police to “help” with a mentally disturbed person is a death sentence for the afflicted. You are right: change is needed. I am left wondering if it is even possible.

      To which I responded:

      It HAS to be possible – and public outcry lets them know we are watching and CARE about what happens in this country.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  5. ericb85 says:

    Oh. My. God. Just incredulous over this. Peace and healing to Peggy, hero and saint to so many of us. Praying with you for a desperately needed awakening from such brutalizing ignorance, towards truth and compassion, towards a better compass.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Eric. I spent last evening with Peggy and she is doing well enough, considering that the arrival of Christmas is always difficult since Jeremy won’t be there to celebrate with them. She hasn’t been able to enjoy her Christmas village, Jeremy’s favorite, since.

      Your prayer for me is much appreciated. The world most certainly needs a better compass.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  6. ericb85 says:

    Oh. My. God. Peace and healing to Peggy, my hero and hero and saint to so many. You describe an absolute travesty of seemingly willful ignorance and thuggery by those we pay to know better. I’m with you in praying for a desperately needed awakening.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks again, Eric. I’m guessing you left a double comment when I wasn’t here to approve the first. I found two very similar upon awakening, but both are greatly appreciated.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  7. Grandtrines says:

    Reblogged this on Lost Dudeist Astrology.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am honored that you chose to reblog this on your astrology blog and on TWO other blogs. What a great birthday present! Thank you.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  8. Grandtrines says:

    Reblogged this on Still Another Writer's Blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • If my readership on this post suddenly jumps, I’ll have you to thank for it. Truly, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help getting the word out. I want to see this change in MY lifetime. Obviously, so do you.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  9. Grandtrines says:

    Reblogged this on Debatable News: Mainstream to Tinfoil Hat and more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you SO much for this. I wish it would reach the eyes of the legislators – but perhaps if enough of US are aware and make enough noise?????
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  10. L. M. B. says:

    Amen … My dear Friend in distant lands … take good care of yourself! You are Gods gift to those who need your help … for however short the time may be … a moment in time … saves nine. Live long and prosper. All the best wishes from Germany … if you feel like taking a brake …and leaving it all behind for a while … we havea guest room! I’m sure my wife will understand.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL – thanks for the invite, but your understanding wife is safe (for now) 🙂 If I could afford to get out of the country I’d have left the day after America’s election. I am pulling back just a bit, however. Thanks for the acknowledgment of my work here, and your concern for my welfare.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • L. M. B. says:

        I’m sure you’d do the same for me! Do to outhers what you’d like them to do to you. If you need my help …you know where to find me. I maybe getting older … but …

        Liked by 1 person

        • Older and wiser? Hopefully we all travel that route.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • L. M. B. says:

            There your right on! Getting older is a privilege denied to many! And a halo effect for grandchildren! … 🙂 Strength and Honor ! My dear.

            Liked by 1 person

          • L. M. B. says:

            Older!

            Liked by 1 person

            • Can’t avoid it – if we’re lucky.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

          • L. M. B. says:

            The will is strong … but the flesh is week.

            Liked by 1 person

            • The mind, actually. Strong mind, strong heart. Tough sometimes, but focusing on positive thoughts pays dividends, right?
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • L. M. B. says:

              It is with great pleasure to have “landed” such a great “follower” (person) like yourself in a world of … how many people? I count that as a blessing … my dear. God works in mistirious ways! 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • You are a blessing to me as well. Thank you. xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • L. M. B. says:

              Go to bed! You need your beauty sleep my dear! Goodnight and sweet dreams! Ill be going to bed within the next hour! I am working night shifts at the moment, maybe I see you in dreamland?

              Liked by 1 person

            • As some people say, “see you on the astral” lol G’nite
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • L. M. B. says:

              See you on the astral then ! You learn something new every day. :-0

              Liked by 1 person

            • They are referring to the astral plane – a reference to getting out of body and exploring while your body’s asleep. Some people claim similar experiences with people they’ve “met” there, who supposedly corroborate.

              I like to think it’s possible, but I sleep too deeply to ever know. lol 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

          • L. M. B. says:

            I love the final scene in the film L.O.T.Rings when Bilbo takes the last boats! https://youtu.be/9aM_kRs00ys

            Liked by 1 person

            • Great film – very well done. Love it too. xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  11. Debbie says:

    Dearest Madelyn, it is impossible to press “like” to this story. I am totally … shattered . by reading this and I applaud your bravery in writing this in a public space. I also salute you for being so amazing as to do this on your birthday.
    You are a brave strong woman and doing so much to help others.

    I havent read the other comments, I’m in too much a state of shock. not from surprise – the brutality of some police everywhere is well known – but from the sheer human tragedy of it all.

    Is it posible to start a petition to have this “doctor” as you describe above deregistered? he should not be allowed to practice.

    I can’t say anything more right now. I’m shaky. thank you dearest Madelyn, thank you for your bravery. Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Debbie. If I were really brave I guess I wouldn’t have the nightmares. I’m hoping they will stop bothering me now that I’ve told the story.

      I agree about the doctor – and I’d like to see that hospital sanctioned as well. If it were my call I’d be after them, metaphorical [only] six-guns blazing. Peggy consulted a lawyer who advised against it, and she doesn’t even want me to ID by name.

      Otherwise I would most certainly do at least that much, but I don’t want to make things harder for her as I advocate for mental health awareness. I simply wanted to put a human face on HOW horrible a state the mental health field is in – even here in America.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Debbie says:

        yes i hear you. in any climate, its impossible to win a legal fight against big business, which unfortunately is what many hospitals has become, and in the climate we live in now – yes, i hear you. what should be a natural recourse to justice would only become a bigger nightmare.
        these times are exceedingly difficult and we are all facing our personal nightmares,

        the only way through in my opinion is to just keep LOVE in our hearts and try and express and feel love for all – even the ones that cause us so much pain – after all, they are probably worse off because they are still acting out of callousness and meanheartedness. such a shame our society rewards that kind of negative behaviour.

        we just have to keep remaining in love and gratitude at all costs, no matter how weird and crazy the outside world gets.

        it helps to know others are going through similiar struggles.

        You ARE brave. just by being here, and doing what you are doing to raise awareness of serious health problems that are overlooked by many, is a bravery and service of its own.

        im sure the soul of the boy who passed over would want you and his Mum to be at peace. try and think of it like that, no matter how difficult it is.

        sending you lots and lots of love
        debbie xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        • WONDERFUL comment, Debbie. Thank you so much for taking time from your life to bring these thoughts to consciousness. Hate helps no one – peace is the goal.

          I do want those who are suffering at the hands of, shall we say, those with “lesser” character, to be at peace as well — thus my prayer.
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

  12. Lucy Brazier says:

    Happy birthday, dear lady! I am so sorry to here of Peggy’s plight – one can only imagine the pain, shock and sorrow at such a dreadful event. I am sending you both my love and hugs, you are both incredibly brave and inspirational women.
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • God bless, Lucy. It’s almost 3AM here and I keep threatening to turn off the computer and head to bed — so I’m glad to have seen this dear comment from you before I did so.

      Tomorrow is another day – sans hangover, I hope! lol 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 2 people

      • Lucy Brazier says:

        I hope you have a wonderful sleep, ready to face whatever tomorrow may bring. Perhaps a small hangover is excusable 😉
        xx

        Liked by 1 person

        • TRULY not my fault. It would have been so rude to turn people down who wanted to buy me a birthday drink. 🙂

          zzzzzzzzzz
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Lucy Brazier says:

            Too right! Sweet dreams, dear lady 🙂
            xx

            Liked by 1 person

  13. Happy B’Day MGH,

    Now I know your birthday! Ha!

    I am so very glad to hear Peggy is on the upswing. I have been not wanting to bother her for the last 6 months but it’s time I chat with her again.

    My wife and I went to the International CHADD Conference this month in Cost Mesa, CA. I was hoping I might see you and/or Peggy. I guess you two stayed there at home. 😦

    To those reading, I am a proud graduate of MGH and Peggy’s ADD in the Spirit Coach Training program.

    My wife Nancie Kohlenberger, award winning author of the book, “Couples Guide to Thriving with ADHD,” and I together provide ADHD Couples Support (Coaching and Psychotherapy) in California, and ADHD Couples Support (Coaching and Consulting) elsewhere (by video conference call). We sit side by side, in front of our computer or in our office, face to face in front of our client couples where at least one has ADHD. We both have ADHD so we both know what it feels like.

    You and Peggy can call us one of your success stories.

    I am grateful for your training, coaching, and mentoring Madelyn.

    May many more Birthdays grace your door,

    Steve Kohlenberger
    ADHD Couples Coach
    Steve@BeyondADHD4Us.com

    Liked by 2 people

    • How LOVELY to see this, Steve. And thanks so much for the endorsement. I am going to move it to the coaching endorsements page which I am now putting together.

      I miss you and am SO glad to hear you are doing well.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  14. davidprosser says:

    Penblwydd Hapus Madelyn. I hope you have a wonderful memory free day.

    I’m so sorry to hear the story of Jeremy and of the woefully inadequate mental health services available there. I hope the family have taken steps to sue the police officers responsible for taking Jeremy’s life and also the doctor who is not deserving of that title who removed Jeremy’s medication cold. There has to be lessons learned from this episode which can only be done with exposure. Jeremy’s mother deserves to know that her son’s life counted for something by having this affair dealt with openly and responsibility attached correctly.

    I follow your wish that health care is looked at carefully and is removed from the hands of Insurance Companies. You cannot have non-medical professionals dictate when treatment can be given and when someone has used up the cost of all their care.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • GOD BLESS YOU for your amazingly supportive comment, David. Sad that America, mistakenly thought to have some of the best health care in the world, could produce a story like this one, huh? I feel better having gotten it off my chest.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  15. JustRere says:

    Reading this is so sad and your prayer really hit home… I’m sorry your friend has to endure this and I hope that mental health awareness and better health care will come in the future| -JustRere

    Liked by 1 person

    • From your lips to God’s ears, as they say. Thanks so much for reading and ringing in with support.

      Question: I got a notice that you had deleted your site. I hope this is only temporary, and that you are building a new one. Every voice matters.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  16. noelleg44 says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your friend’s loss. There are some untrained, untried, and occasionally just bad cops out there – they make it hard for the vast majority of the good ones. Please give her my sympathy.
    On a waaaay better note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Noelle – both for your comment and for your birthday wishes. I will pass your sympathy on to Peggy.

      Surprisingly, under the circumstances, she does NOT blame the officer who shot her son – she blames *lousy* mental health awareness training in the Police Forces.

      THAT is what must change.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  17. What a sad story, Madelyn. My heart goes out to Peggy for the loss of her son. Under different circumstances, I lost my brother to a gun, and the senselessness is one of the hardest parts to deal with. As in Peggy’s case, it didn’t need to happen. Our country doesn’t do a good job caring for those with mental health challenges, and the sad part is that with a little compassion and investment in care, it can be done. Happy birthday and a lovely prayer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much – both for the comment and for your compassion – and for the birthday wishes extended to me today. My sympathies to you for the loss of your brother in yet another gun-related incident.

      As I keep saying, I am about to *finally* get out of my jammies and off my computer to take Tink to greet his fans at his Cheers bar for a bit of b’day celebration for both of us, Maybe I’ll even get a free drink – lol!
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Happy Birthday.

    I am at a loss for words. I am just so sorry, so sorry. Your prayer is perfect, I will make it my prayer, too.

    Hmm, I just realized that my short post about the lack of treatment in our country for the mentally ill, is only on my old blog. I need to get busy and transfer all those posts to here. Sigh… more for the round tuit. (I signed out of my old WP account and made a new one almost a year ago, because my old account wasn’t working right and no one could help me with it.)

    Anyway, here is my post:
    https://healmycomplexptsd.wordpress.com/the-new-york-times-likes-me/

    I have such a headache. My MRI was painful. But I am thankful that I have insurance to pay for it.

    Again, Happy Birthday. You are super special. Please treat yourself that way. ((HUG))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oops, I mean I need to transfer my posts from my old blog, to my new blog. Not to “here”. Duh.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I understood what you meant – and I’ll bet everyone else did too.

        More later – I’m off to celebrate my b’day in some small way.
        xx,
        mgh

        Like

    • I am SO glad to hear that all went relatively well with your MRI – but this is the first I have heard that it can be painful. I am so sorry!

      I am about to *finally* get out of my jammies and off my computer to take Tink to greet his fans at his Cheers bar for a bit of b’day celebration for both of us, Maybe I’ll even get a free drink – lol! In any case, I probably won’t get over to read your linked post until tomorrow. I hope you can understand my priorities for the remainder of today. 🙂
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Of course, this is YOUR day!! I hope you have a wonderful time. 😀

        The MRI itself doesn’t cause pain, aside from how very loud it is, ouch to the ears, even with ear protectors. But having to lie perfectly still for a solid hour with my bad neck in an uncomfortable position, that was painful. Not intolerable, but definitely Not Fun.

        Anyway, I am not trying to make this about me… I just didn’t want to scare people who may need an MRI someday!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Well THAT makes too much sense. Thanks for understanding – and now I’m off!
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  19. Lizzi says:

    That’s appalling and utterly heartbreaking. So much needs to change. I hope it’s possible 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Lizzi. FIRST, I believe, more people need to become aware of what’s going on – and how people they know are being treated.

      God bless you for reading and commenting.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Lizzi says:

        I think that’s so important – that these stories are shared and understood. You’re doing an important thing by doing that.

        And I hope the rest of your birthday is filled with happier and lovelier things xoxox

        Liked by 1 person

        • Tink and I went down to his Cheers Bar down the street (where everybody knows his name) – to see his fans and to celebrate my birthday a bit. I returned a tad “wobbly.” I rarely drink much, and I got seriously over-served — and didn’t spend a cent! So, at nearly 3AM here, I’m off to bed, while I can still wend my way there and change into my jammies. Thanks for your good wishes.

          Note to self: water and aspirin!
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Lizzi says:

            That sounds AWESOME…and I hope the water and aspirin had the desired effect and you were none the worse for wear!

            Liked by 1 person

            • Woke up late, but feeling fine, thanks. It turned out that one of Tink’s best “fans” and I have the same birthday, which made things special (neither of us knew before we got there).
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lizzi says:

              Oh AWESOME! How lovely.

              Liked by 1 person

            • AND I spent last nite at my friend Peggy’s, who fixed me dinner.

              I am SO grateful for the good things in life – however small.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lizzi says:

              That sounds LOVELY! It’s so nice when someone special cooks for you. HOORAY for good things in life. I’ve needed them today, and life has provided. 😀

              Liked by 1 person

            • Well here’s a little more little good thing – I am grateful fo you, your comments and your blog.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lizzi says:

              YAY! I’m writing a new post now, about miracles. I need to know they happen, tonight. I’m glad for you and your comments and your blog, too. Hooray for online!

              Liked by 1 person

            • My upcoming post is about stepping out even further – if even ONE of my readers takes my pleas to heart, maybe we will have make a difference for at least one more patient who needs good care.
              xx,
              mgh

              Like

            • Lizzi says:

              That would be awesome. Looking forward to it

              Liked by 1 person

            • Thanks! I hope it is not too “over the top” for some of my readers, but I can no longer hold my tongue – and pray that they will be inspired to feel the same way.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Lizzi says:

              Here’s hoping 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

  20. Happy Birthday. I know you may not feel like celebrating, but from someone who once buried their mother on their birthday, I still know it is a day you only have once a year. No matter where you are, or what you are doing, it is still a day you should raise a glass to you. x

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am so sorry to hear the timing of your loss – I can’t even wrap my head around it.

      I guess I need to wander into my kitchen and pop a cork!

      Thanks for the Birthday wishes.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

      • Yep, get in there girl. Never let life grind you down xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        • Good advice – easier to say than do on some days, however. Life can round up its minions to gang up all at once sometimes. A little bit of good goes far to help us heal from the beat downs.
          xx, mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • Indeed life does gather its minions but we got to remember we are bigger than them and we will fight through them x

            Liked by 1 person

            • I don’t know if we are, in fact, bigger, but it’s not as if we have another choice, right? lol 🙂
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • Ocht these minions are what we call over here in Scotland..wee feechs. xxxxxx

              Liked by 1 person

            • Really? Did you know that many in America find the dialect in Scotland almost like listening to another language – some of it probably is due to unfamiliar terms like wee feechs.

              I LOVE learning new words (and don’t need the captions to watch TV shows produced in your country – at least, not after listening for a moment or so). 🙂
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • LOL!!! Aye well, even within Scotland we have our own dialects. We Dundee folks speak really fast and can be quite unintelligible. In Dundee there’s quite a mixture of Irish words flung in because of the sheer amount of Irish folks who came here during the famine and we also have our own words for many things, like we say messages for shopping, closies for tenements. I can imagine that wee feechs might well be incomprehensible to many across the pond because in some ways here we speak two languages, English and our own dialect, although I must say certain words like wee feechs kind of speak for themselves….. xxx

              Liked by 1 person

            • Sheesh – it sounds a bit like a secret code – lol. And when you speed it up it all runs together for the uninitiated.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

  21. Happy Birthday Madelyn. Hope you managed to have a bit of ‘me’ time xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Kate. I plan to take some.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 2 people

  22. Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am especially touched that you reblogged this one. Thank you. When something like this hits close to home it really changes your view of EVERYTHING.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • you’re very welcome Madelyn xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  23. Wow! There are no words. That poor family, I could practically feel the panic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Kate – it was truly horrendous.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Heartbreaking. With my eyes even worse, this is the one post I’ve chosen to read today! I couldn’t not. My heart goes out to you and Peggy. I know well the siren flashback, among other noise triggers. The care (or rather lack of) system makes me so angry. It’s not much better in the UK though we don’t have the same gun culture, of course. Sending love.
    Sarah

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you SO much, Sarah – both for reading and for taking the time to send warm thoughts.

      Sending love and health your way.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, heavens, I forgot to wish you Many Happy Returns. So we’re both Sagittarius – mine was last Friday!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Happy Belated Birthday to you. I am actually a double Sag, but I’m sure we have a lot in common.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

  25. Happy birthday. I really appreciate your blog. You have so much to share and it is important, heart-felt information. As someone with a limited attention span, my feedback is to break you posts into several smaller posts instead of one long one. I may be the only one who struggles with this but if you are trying to reach others with ADD it may be more effective. Sending this with love and support for your cause. As an educator, I see a huge need for your work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much.

      Those who have followed ADDandSoMuchMore.com from the beginning know that I *have* been posting increasingly shorter articles.

      Here’s the problem: I also get feedback from folks who really hate the distraction of jumping from page to page on a bunch of article “parts” – so it is a fine line I have, apparently, not located just yet.

      I appreciate the feedback, however.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 2 people

      • I hesitated to share my thoughts. I understand that it is so difficult to reach a varied audience. Could you have two separate kinds of posts and distinguish them in some way so that readers could find what they need? Quick take on ____ or in depth look at ____. Just a thought. Please know that I support your mission. And I am so sorry to hear your friend’s sad story. It is impossible for me to understand the grief of this loss.

        Liked by 1 person

        • If I had more time – and an assistant – I could. I’m barely finding the time to do what I do already! ::sigh::
          xx,
          mgh

          Like

          • You are doing a great job. Don’t get discouraged. Keep on sharing. You are making a difference.
            HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

            Liked by 1 person

            • Thank you SO much. We all do what we can – or at least those of us who CARE do so.
              xx,
              mgh

              Liked by 1 person

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