The Virtues of Lowering your Standards


Consider this a “Track-back Tuesday” post

Late last night (or early this morning, depending on where you are and how you track time), I received a comment from an extremely frustrated ADDer struggling with cellphone and I-pad impulsivity. Most of us can relate, huh?

You can read her comment HERE (my coaching response follows).

Double-checking one of my older articles that I suggested she read, I notice that it received fewer “likes” or comments than I thought it would when I wrote it. It struck me that MANY of you who read ADDandSoMuchMore.com only occasionally probably missed it, and it’s a goodie. It contains more than a couple foundational concepts that create issues that most people find problematic, and those of us in Alphabet City frequently find debilitating.

SO . . . I am reblogging my own post,
hoping it will provide a few keys to turn a few of YOUR locked doors.

If you want to add velocity to your self-coaching efforts, take the time to read the articles linked within that post as well. They will open in new tabs/windows, so you can click them as you come to them and keep on reading.

Enjoy!

ADD . . . and-so-much-more

click image for sourceclick image for source

 When “Good enough” is Good ENOUGH!

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Let’s delve deeper into a couple of foundational problems,
particularly for those of us with Executive Functioning dysregulations:

* struggles with activation,and
* the perils of falling victim to black and white thinking.

Hand in hand, each exacerbates the other,
until it’s truly a miracle we ever get anything done at all!

To the neurodiverse AND the neurotypical

On a very different kind of blog, post-production supervisor and self-professed Edit Geek Dylan Reeve shared his thoughts on the very topic I planned to write about today (the image above is his). He began and ended his relatively brief article with a wonderful synopsis of exactly what I am about to tackle in this article.

In Defense Of ‘Good Enough’

For many people . . . ‘good enough’ is a dirty word…

View original post 2,887 more words

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with Executive Functioning struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

12 Responses to The Virtues of Lowering your Standards

  1. Pingback: Beyond the Limitations of a Post-It Note™ Brain | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  2. Pingback: Expectations Mismatches & Moon Men | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  3. I think I’ve got the OCD/ADHD combo that is undiagnosed by Doctors. I imagine it’s my high functioning ABI/Busy-Brain Syndrome. Also undiagnosed…..just the special kinda chic I am.

    Like

    • The punchline of a questionably humorous ADD/OCD pin circulating on Pinterest: “Everything has to be perfect, but not for very long” :O

      Actually OCD/ADHD doesn’t have to be the worst combo in the world – one tempers the other a bit, as long as you can get some systems going, learn to manage hyperfocus and black and white thinking, and keep your neurochemistry relatively balanced. (lol, good luck!) Meds help a great deal, for those who are dx’d and can take them – but it takes a really knowledgeable psychopharm and those are, unfortunately, tough to find.

      The ABI dx can be tougher – but I’m not telling YOU anything you don’t already know firsthand (I read your story). A student blog I read recently compared ABI/TBI damage to a lego structured brain that had been hit – some pieces crumbled, some are lost, others are there, but putting it all back into some semblance of functional order takes time and patience. LOTS of patience. (and when there are motor skills deficits, it must be a real BEAR!)

      Edward Taub, the developer of constraint induced movement [CI] therapy, & the Taub Clinic in Birmingham are the go-tos for stroke research/recovery (but you probably already knew that!)

      You also are probably already aware of Barbara Arrowsmith Young’s work, taking advantage of brain plasticity to regain lost neuro-skills – google her, if not. I’m fairly certain she has a TED talk telling her own recovery story. That’s not to imply that because she did, ALL can and all “should” – but it holds out hope to know that things like this are possible.

      Thanks for adding a trip over here to your day.
      xx,
      mgh

      Like

  4. Pingback: More Best Practices for Habit Creation – Part 2 | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  5. PorterGirl says:

    You are right – this is a great post! We all need to give ourselves permission to stop trying to be perfect all the time. It is unrealistic and bad for the soul! Thank you as ever for sharing your wisdom, I always come away from your blog with something of value.
    xx

    Like

    • You are not only a wonderful human being for being so supportive, you are a jack-rabbit reader and commenter. I am always amazed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

      Considering how much you get done, I doubt you need activation advice, but I know that you hold yourself to extremely high standards – which probably means you tend to beat yourself up for every silly typo, etc. (I do too!)

      Consider this a reminder that none of us, myself included, can expect to do EVERYTHING well (and few things “perfectly”) – so we have to pick our battles, as they say, and let good enough be good ENOUGH for the other things we do.

      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • PorterGirl says:

        Aw it is my pleasure, of course. It’s funny but I really needed to read that post today and it has helped me just exhale and chill out. I do hold myself to high standards and never feel that I work hard enough. But actually maybe I do so taking some time to exhale and chill is perfectly okay! Thank you once again 🙂
        Xx

        Like

        • lol – If YOU don’t work hard enough, there’s no hope for the rest of the world. 🙂 Chill time is *balance* time – more than okay, it is essential!
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

          • PorterGirl says:

            😀 I shall put the kettle on and open a packet of biscuits 🙂 xx

            Like

            • and get off the internet! 🙂
              xx, mgh

              Liked by 1 person

            • PorterGirl says:

              😉 xx

              Liked by 1 person

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