The Virtues of Lowering your Standards


Consider this a “Track-back Tuesday” post

Late last night (or early this morning, depending on where you are and how you track time), I received a comment from an extremely frustrated ADDer struggling with cellphone and I-pad impulsivity. Most of us can relate, huh?

You can read her comment HERE (my coaching response follows).

Double-checking one of my older articles that I suggested she read, I notice that it received fewer “likes” or comments than I thought it would when I wrote it. It struck me that MANY of you who read ADDandSoMuchMore.com only occasionally probably missed it, and it’s a goodie. It contains more than a couple foundational concepts that create issues that most people find problematic, and those of us in Alphabet City frequently find debilitating.

SO . . . I am reblogging my own post,
hoping it will provide a few keys to turn a few of YOUR locked doors.

If you want to add velocity to your self-coaching efforts, take the time to read the articles linked within that post as well. They will open in new tabs/windows, so you can click them as you come to them and keep on reading.

Enjoy!

ADD . . . and-so-much-more

click image for sourceclick image for source

 When “Good enough” is Good ENOUGH!

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Let’s delve deeper into a couple of foundational problems,
particularly for those of us with Executive Functioning dysregulations:

* struggles with activation,and
* the perils of falling victim to black and white thinking.

Hand in hand, each exacerbates the other,
until it’s truly a miracle we ever get anything done at all!

To the neurodiverse AND the neurotypical

On a very different kind of blog, post-production supervisor and self-professed Edit Geek Dylan Reeve shared his thoughts on the very topic I planned to write about today (the image above is his). He began and ended his relatively brief article with a wonderful synopsis of exactly what I am about to tackle in this article.

In Defense Of ‘Good Enough’

For many people . . . ‘good enough’ is a dirty word…

View original post 2,887 more words

From Impulsivity to Self-Control


Self-Control increases as the brain develops

(but science isn’t exactly sure HOW)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Self-control is a developmental process.

Self Control — none of us are born with it, and very few of us are able to banish acting on impulse completely. A percentage of us struggle to manage our faster-than-a-speeding-bullet emotional responses for our entire lives: those who retain high levels of what is termed impulsivity.

Not surprisingly, some of the most comprehensive understanding of impulsivity comes from the study of children and teens.

Laurence Steinberg of Temple University, the neuroscientist who led the team testifying during the Supreme Court case that abolished the death penalty for juveniles [Roper v. Simmons], is well known for his research that has illuminated some of the underlying causes of reckless behavior in teens and young adults.

He explains impulsivity as an imbalance in the development of two linked brain systems that he describes in the following manner:

  • the incentive processing system, regulating the anticipation and processing of rewards and punishments, as well as the emotional processing of society’s behavioral expectations, and
  • the cognitive control system, orchestrating logical reasoning and impulse regulation – two important skills that make up what is termed our Executive Functions, which depend on neurotypical development of the PreFrontal Cortex [PFC]

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Low-grade Impulsivity Ruins Lives Too


Identifying “Garden Variety” Impulsivity

The first step on the road to change

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Garden-Variety Impulsives

Serious Impulse Control issues cannot be resolved by attempting to follow advice gleaned from a quick trip around the internet — or any Series of articles written to help you improve your level of self-control and accountability.

If you suspect that your problem with impulsivity is severe enough to need professional help beyond ADD Coaching, THAT is one impulse I encourage you to act on immediately!

But that is NOT what this article is designed to help you identify.

I want to encourage those of you whom I call the “garden-variety impulsives,” to stop comparing what you do to the far end of the impulsivity spectrum.

I’m hoping to be able to convince at least some of you to stop fooling yourselves into believing that you don’t really have a problem, as the joys of life that could be yours remain forever out of reach.

Because “low-grade impulsivity” is something that can be changed relatively easily in a “self-help” fashion or with some focused work with a private ADD Coach or in a Coaching Group.

Life looks up when you do the work.

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Top 10 Reasons Why Summer Needs to take Early Retirement


It’s been a fine affair
(But now it’s over)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Swan Song for Summer?

It’s barely June and already I yearn for September’s end.

What is it they say about dead fish and houseguests? It’s been a fortnight more than three days since the temperature curdled.

My house fairly reeks of summer.

If it were to last but a single month, summer might be grudgingly acceptable, if only to keep peace between the much-anticipated spring and the loveliness of  autumn.

But someone simply must tell it firmly that four entire months of summer is really three too long.

I’m here to state the arguments for same.

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Horror in Orlando


What is WRONG with our world today?
And what can we do to turn things around – IMMEDIATELY?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Unusual, but necessary

As regular readers know, since the WordPress reblog function is not particularly ADD/EFD-friendly, I rarely reblog. In any case, the WordPress reblog function does not seem to be working at all today — a day when I would otherwise have used it to reblog the post below, put together by the author of the Make Me a Sammich blog.

I usually confine my articles to topics that directly impact individuals struggling with challenges common in what I refer to as the Attentional Spectrum community. I generally avoid “political” posts that do not directly impact the mental health field.

HOWEVER, in response to my horror at the deadly attack in Orlando, I am not able to remain silent about the repulsion I feel for the increase in hate-mongering of ALL types, much of it fomented by the rage that is given expression on Twitter – some by politicians running for office who damned well SHOULD know better!

Hate breeds hate.  STOP ITall of you
and let’s stop supporting ANYONE who spurts venom.

My hand-crafted reblog attempt:

I have copied Rosie’s first few paragraphs below – and encourage you to follow the link provided below her brief introductory paragraphs  to see the entire post. She speaks my mind as well or better than I ever could, and has also included links for anyone who is moved to help – or needs help.

Remember that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

Actions Speak Louder Than Prayers: Be the Helpers

As I struggled to form words to begin this post, a CNN notification just popped up to tell me that—as the world reels from the terror attack on Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, which killed at least 50 people and injured at least 50 more making it the “deadliest mass shooting in US history”—police in Los Angeles have in custody a person who was armed to the teeth and headed to a Pride celebration in the LA area.

So far, the events seem to be unrelated in the strictest sense—i.e., these men likely did not know one another or coordinate in any way—but any attack, or any attempted or planned attack, on a gathering place for LGBTQ people during Pride week can certainly be said to have at least a couple of things in common.

“We know enough to say this was an act of terror and an act of hate.”
~President Obama

In times like this, it’s often difficult to know how best to help. My thoughts—and my prayers, such as they are—do go out to the LGBTQ community today, but I will not pretend my thoughts and prayers are magical and will create change in and of themselves. That takes action.

As a straight, cis woman, I’m focusing my efforts today on amplifying the voices of LGBTQ people on social media and also, with thanks to @PrisonCulture on Twitter for the prompt, I’m shining light on organizations that work to support LGBTQ people and fight for equality and justice in the LGBTQ sphere.

These are the folks who are out there right now doing the work that needs to get done, and the one of the best ways to help in times like this is to support them either financially or by letting others know about the important work they do. I hope you can join me in these efforts to whatever degree you’re able.

Read the entire article by clicking HERE

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As always, if you want notification of new articles in one of my Series of Attentional Challenges Posts – or any new posts on this blog – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered for this one too). STRICT No Spam Policy

IN ANY CASE, do stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.

Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)
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You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.

For links in context: run your cursor over the article above and the dark grey links will turn dark red;
(subtle, so they don’t pull focus while you read, but you can find them to click when you’re ready for them)
— and check out the links to other Related Content in each of the articles themselves —

Related articles right here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com
(in case you missed them above or below)

Related Articles ’round the net primarily found in Rosie’s article

Save

Complex PTSD Awareness


C-PTSD Awareness
Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Trauma

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Health Series

One of the factors of PTSD is that some people seem to have severe cases while others do not — that some soldiers were more vulnerable to extreme trauma and stress than others.

As an explanation for some of these complications it has been suggested and researched that there is a form of PTSD that is called DESNOS [Disorders of Extreme Stress Not Otherwise Specified]. Another term is C-PTSD or Complex-PTSD. ~  Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D

 

Relatively Recent Distinction & Debate

Many traumatic events that result in PTSD are of time-delimited duration — for example, short term military combat exposure, rape or other violent crimes, earthquakes and other natural disasters, fire, etc.  However, some individuals experience chronic trauma that continues or repeats for months or years at a time.

There is currently a debate in the Mental Health community that centers around the proposed need for an additional diagnosis. Proponents assert that the current PTSD diagnosis does not fully capture the core characteristics of a more complex form – symptoms of the severe psychological harm that occurs with prolonged, repeated trauma.

Let’s DO It

One of the longest-standing proponents is Dr. Judith Herman, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard University Medical School. She is well respected for her unique understanding of trauma and its victims, and has repeatedly suggested that a new diagnosis of Complex PTSD [C-PTSD] is needed to distinguish and detail the symptoms of the result of exposure to long-term trauma.

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Are Internet Marketers Today’s Smarmy Used-Car Salesmen?


I used to LOVE “Related Content”
(but SELDOM when a link took me to a Internet Marketer!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Community building on the internet

I am one of those rare readers who actually investigates Related Content links on the articles of the blogs I follow, time permitting.

I also spend a great deal of my time looking for posts that I can link as Related Content to the ones I write myself.  I like to imagine that readers who have the time and inclination might be interested in delving deeper into a particular subject than even my general preference for long-form articles can provide.

I am aware that only a very small number will actually click the links I provide at the bottom of most of my posts, but the readers who do have let me know that they find them interesting and valuable.  In addition to catching up with older content they missed on ADDandSoMuchMORE.com, many have found new blogs and bloggers to follow. Others have developed new bloggy friendships as a result.  I know I have. The sharing is one of the things I love about the blogging community.

HOWEVER, the rapid proliferation of Internet Marketing and over-emphasis on SEO (Search Engine Optimization) has not only made it increasingly difficult to locate content I am willing to pass along, it is starting to make me wary of clicking the links I stumble across on my journeys ’round the ‘net.

Like misbehaving toddlers, more and more bloggers seem willing to attempt whatever they think will work to FORCE our attention to what they have to sell to us any time the faintest opportunity enters their SEO increase-sales-obsessed “brains.”  They make me crazy(er), and just might chase me off the internet eventually.

I do NOT heart email fishing forms

This is not the first post in which I have ranted about how terribly rude and distracting I find pop-ups, slide-overs, and those hyperactive-three-year-old wiggling-jiggling “look here” means of advertising to me.

Yes, I understand that bloggers want to – as the “gurus” say – insert a call-to-action that might allow them a bit of remuneration for the immense amount of time they spend on the content they share.  That seems fair.

I get it that a great many authors write blogs to entice people into buying their books, or that off-site storage companies, for example, might host “organize your stuff” blogs.  That’s okay by me too.

I have no problem with the concept, and I have found some of those blogs to be filled with information that is useful or intellectually compelling. I’ve even been motivated to fork over a few hard-earned shekels on some of those sites.

My quarrel is with the methods of the others.

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar for a reminder
of how links work on this site, they’re subtle (scroll UP for it) ==>

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PTSD Overview – Awareness Post


June is PTSD Awareness Month
PTSD Signs and Symptoms

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Health Series

“Emotions are very good at activating thoughts,
but thoughts are not very good at controlling emotions.

~  Joseph LeDoux

Responding in the present to threats from the past

Life itself required the development of the ability to detect and respond to danger – so our nervous system evolved to greatly increase the chances that we will remain alive in the presence of threats to safety and security.

When our lives are threatened, a survival response automatically kicks in — before the brain circuits that control our conscious awareness have had time to interpret that physiological response occurring “under the radar.” Initially, there is no emotion attached to our automatic response to threat.  Fear is a cognitive construct.

Our individual perceptions of the extent of the danger we just witnessed or experienced personally is what adds velocity to the development of fearful emotions, even if our feeling response follows only a moment behind.

Some of us are able to process those perfectly appropriate fearful responses and move forward. Others of us, for a great many different reasons, are not.

Many of those who are not able to process and move forward are likely to develop one or more of the anxiety disorders, while others will develop a particular type of anxiety disorder doctors call PTSD — Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Related articles:
When Fear Becomes Entrenched & Chronic
Understanding Fear and Anxiety

An Equal Opportunity Destroyer

While we hear most about the challenges of PTSD in soldiers, it is not limited to those returning from combat.

Individuals have been diagnosed with PTSD as the result of a great many different traumas: accidents, assaults, natural disasters, serious illnesses and more. It can develop in the wake of almost any traumatic event. (Situations in which a person feels intense fear, helplessness, or horror are considered traumatic.)

Trauma is especially common in women; 50% – five out of every ten women – will experience a traumatic event at some point during their lifetime, according to the The National Center for PTSD, a division of the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

According to VA research and experience, approximately eight million Americans will experience PTSD in a given year, including both civilian and military populations.  That number is quite likely to be low, since many people never seek treatment for PTSD, or even admit to themselves that PTSD is what they are experiencing.

Related Post: Interesting PTSD Statistics

According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, individuals likely to develop PTSD include:

  • Victims of violent crime (including victims of physical and sexual assaults, sexual abuse, as well as witnesses of murders, riots, terrorist attacks);
  • Members of professions where violence is likely, experienced, or witnessed often or regularly, especially first-responders (for example, anyone in the armed forces, policemen and women, journalists in certain niches, prison workers, fire, ambulance and emergency personnel), including those who are no longer in service, by the way;
  • Victims of war, torture, state-sanctioned violence or terrorism, and refugees;
  • Survivors of serious accidents and/or natural disasters (tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, wildfires, floods, etc.);
  • Women following traumatic childbirth, individuals diagnosed with a life-threatening illnesses;
  • Anything resulting in a traumatic brain injury (TBI), leaving you struggling with the ongoing trauma of trying to live a life without the cognitive or physical capabilities you thought you would always be able to count on.

Sufferers may also develop further, secondary psychological disorders as complications of PTSD.  At its base, however, we are talking about individuals stuck in a particular type of FEAR response.
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