I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Getting back on the horse
(never as simple as Neurotypicals seem to believe!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC


Time & performance pressure

I didn’t get nearly as much done as I expected to this past weekend – and what I did accomplish were NOT the most important items on my to-do list!

(Oh, let’s be honest: I’ve been struggling for over two years now to recover from the cascade of unfortunate events of 2014!)

  • Every night I go to bed praying that tomorrow will be the day when my former Energizer Bunny level of activity will resume.
  • Every morning, for quite some time now, I have awakened in a mood that could best be described as panic or overwhelming dread.

I hear the tick-tick-tick of time’s passage louder and louder every month.

Can anybody else relate?

Shhh! – you can’t tell people that

Truly, I appreciate the intent of those who have advised me that helping professionals are expected to be far beyond all those nattering little human-being problems and pressures.

HOWEVER, in this particular period of my life, advice from that fear-based paradigm is beyond annoying to hear or read – on this particular Monday especially!

I understand that you believe that it is important for me to keep up “professional” appearances if I expect to make a living, BUT THAT’S NOT THE WAY I ROLL!

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar for a reminder
of how links work on this site, they’re subtle (scroll UP for it) ==>

Monday Grumpy Monday Series header

What I happen to believe

I’ve always been of the opinion that ONLY those individuals who understand a particular struggle can be of effective assistance to others who struggle similarly.  What good are suggestions uttered from the lofty perches of those whom life has always favored?  How relevant CAN they be?

With all due respect to math teachers and male ob/gyns everywhere:

  • ONLY someone who once struggled to understand math’s fundamental concepts initially can quickly and clearly see the landscape where a student might be stuck behind an incomplete [or lack of] understanding of a core concept, and
  • ONLY a female can truly understand the problems of PMS and menstrual cramps.

How can anybody expect to relate to what they’ve never personally experienced?

They don’t call me The ADD Poster Girl for nuthin’

When we’re talking about AD(h)D / EFD / TBI / PTSD (or any of the other alphabet disorders), we’re talking about treadmill problems — which are more like walking in circles than walking straight toward a destination: the same landmarks keep showing up.

I am reminded of something a Weight Watchers leader I knew in Manhattan used to repeat frequently: “You can’t expect to handle eating for a healthy weight finally and forever – it’s an ongoing task. Back-sliding habits are always lurking, waiting to trip you up and fatten you up.”

While we don’t exactly “backslide” when core challenges rear their ugly heads for one more shot at our functioning, we can’t expect them to go away forever simply because we beat them back once upon a time either.

What I’m doing about my own current challenges

Since I’m struggling with almost everything I need to do already, I’m making my current “procrastination activity” a few laps around ADDandSoMuchMore.com.

I am revisiting the Habits Series and the Activation Series in particular, reminding myself of my own advice, hoping that something will do the trick once more.  I think it might be working – watch for a new Activation article to post on Wednesday: Getting Up and Getting Going. (link reset, btw, NOW working – sincere thanks to those who let me know it wasn‘t)

BY THE WAY: below is a link to similar post disclosing personal challenges and attempts to rise above them, by a different kind of disabilities advocate, “Nashville’s disabled style blogger extraordinaire,” with Cerebral Palsy, wheelchair-bound much of the time. I believe you’ll find her as inspiring as I did.

What she is doing is explained in her article, as she let’s us all know about a notebook with a format designed to help us focus on the positives as we make plans and move life forward.  Check out her blog & post below:

The Choices Notebook

What About You?

  • Can you relate?
  • What do YOU do when you find yourself back in the same ole’ hole?
  • What are some of your most helpful “procrastination activities”
    – and which ones make you feel even worse about your functionality?

Inquiring minds WANT to know (down there, in the comments section)

In any case . . .
as long as these articles and this blog exists,
you are invited to dump YOUR Monday grumps and gripes
in the comment section below each of my own – related or NOT.

As long as you don’t make individual people wrong, and do your best to avoid the dreaded “should” word, I will approve all comers (link-spammers shot on sight, however).

© 2016, all rights reserved
Check bottom of Home/New to find out the “sharing rules”

Keep scrolling – links, likes and comments below
(rating stars always at the top)

If you want notification if there are future articles in this Series – or simply want to show your support – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered).  STRICT No Spam Policy

Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading any of my articles or Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)

You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.

For links in context: run your cursor over the article above and the dark grey links will turn dark red;
(subtle, so they don’t pull focus while you read, but you can find them to click when you’re ready for them)
— and check out the links to other Related Content in each of the articles themselves —

Related articles right here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com
(in case you missed them above or below)

ADD/EFD supports on ADDandSoMuchMore.com

LinkLists by Category (to articles in Series here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com)

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

12 Responses to I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

  1. Spashionista says:

    I’m so far behind I’ll never die 🙂
    Thanks for your comment on my blog!



    • You’re very welcome. Thanks for taking the time to check it out (and to let me know that you did).

      I ordered the great datebook you described in your article – eagerly waiting its arrival. I added the optional “comment to the seller” telling her where I heard of it, and that I’d likely review it once I’ve had some time with it. I’ll link to your promo again if/when I do.

      I’ll be “testing” for use by the ADD/EFD community I support – personally, I’ve been a DayTimers’ user since 18 and have only tested/promo’d one other [fold-up] format since, which did not work well for me.

      In my wild youth, before I moved to NYC, I spent a great deal of time in Nashville, btw. I was a regular at the Barn Dinner Theatre, way out on Highway 100, before touring with the show. (acting/directing was my first career). Ate my share of “the world’s best biscuits and gravy” at the dinner further on – can’t recall the name right now, but I have to agree with the press on those babies.

      My best to you.


  2. jeg700 says:

    I kinda remember having to deal with deadlines, to-do lists etc, it just seems so long ago! To be honest, I always functioned best with deadlines looming in the immediate future, like,say, that report is due tomorrow. Did my best work that way, from high school til I retired. Even when I had all those cross country moves to make, I would also start with the best of intentions, create the ever famous lists of what to do when to do them by, however, to be honest, after writing out those stupid lists several times and gazing blankly at them hanging all over the house as reminders, I always threw up my hands, wait til 30 days before the move to get started and then got the ball rolling. Planning and executing are different for me. I can arrange a cross country move, pack and be ready to go in 30 days or less with far less anxiety than trying to plan ahead 90 days. I try to go with my strengths and physical capabilities. Nowadays,I’d be hard to to physically get packing up a household in 30 days, but I’d probably try anyway🙄


    • LOL – I always said that my “do the paper the night before it was due” habit was the best life-prep I could have had. It was many years before I got my ADD dx and realized that the last-minute adrenalin rush was the stimulant I needed to be able to do it at all.

      Still – almost 40 years later, I’m with you on how much more difficult it is to try to do everything way in advance – and the anxiety that results. Besides, I’m generally way too busy with current “last minute” tasks to have time to start that early.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      btw: I responded and approved already, so have NO idea why your comment is still listed as unapproved – this may well be a repeat of sorts. Better twice than not at all.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sympathy! When hearing of bad things happening to people, I often wonder how long it might take for the victim to “get over it”, achieve normality. There is a difference, I think, if the cause is (1) random (lightening burns a house down, one falls into a poorly marked hole the telephone company is digging), (2) something unreasonable that officialdom does to us, or (3) a willfull nasty (criminal) deed someone does on purpose. The physical and financial damage may be comparable, but the emotional damage may well be the worst when the cause is #3.

    I offer no advice, just a degree of understanding and a wish that, little by little, things get better for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • How sweet of you. I got hit by all three, in succession – so no wonder I’m struggling! Thank you for your kind words. Sounds like you speak from experience, huh? How are YOU? Still sleeping on your own schedule? If so, has it stabilized your sleep schedule at all? (mine’s been flipping all over the map!) xx, mgh


  4. janetkwest says:

    I feel the time crunch! I’m not even procrastinating. 🙂 Let’s hang in there.


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