YOU are Bigger than your To-Do List

Human BEINGS vs Human DOings

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Edited “Reprint”

The following words were edited, inspired by an email I sent to a prospective client quite a few years ago now.

Having been referred by a colleague as someone deserving of a sliding-scale  coaching opportunity, the candidate was investigating coaching with me.

First, they wanted to make sure I would do it in the same manner touted by a coach they followed online.

My immediate reaction was, “Why are you calling me rather than investigating coaching with THEM?” 

The answer brought me up short: because you offer sliding scale and they don’t. 

Whoa! Budget shopping for a COACH?

FIT, not price

Whether or not that person believed me (or whether you do), you can’t shop for a coach on price.

There are coaches available at all price points. Brand new coaches charge at the bottom of the scale, and most experienced coaches reserve one or two “sliding-scale slots” for certain types of clients (or people in certain situations that mandate a lower fee).

I know because I trained a lot of them personally!

Paying top dollar won’t necessarily buy you better coaching – but attempting to pay the least amount possible just might buy you a lousy fit for what you’re up to – which will amount to lousy coaching.

I don’t know what ultimately happened with this individual, but I kept my email follow-up, knowing I would want to share it once enough time had passed.

Since I am offering private coaching once again, I thought that this would be an excellent time for a “reprint.”

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

Dear “Tyler,”

What’s keeping you stuck is beyond the lack of some specific type of “action check-in” coaching, I promise you

There ARE no accidents

What I know is that people who find their way to me are up to bigger games, shepherding changes we need on this small planet we share, or they wouldn’t have landed in my metaphysical inbox.

And THAT’s what turns me on – midwifing global leaders – not helping poor shlubs organize their files or complete every single item on a to-do list (even if that’s the game we’re playing as we sherlock how they work).

So that’s where I come from as a coach:
a world leader – mentoring world leaders.

Because that is just the truth, and how it always works.

Sliding Scale is a favor, not a loss-leader client-generation tactic

It has been well over two decades since I have been able to offer sliding scale PRIVATE coaching for more than a few RARE exceptions.

Once my training initiatives are back up and running, I will not only NOT have time to do it again, my private practice will need to be tiny, and my current fees will have to go way up to keep my own accounts in balance.

At that point, the options for working with me for most people will be limited to classes, seminars and groups – which will still be a GREAT value, but nothing like what you attracted to yourself today.

Nor am I a novice coach

I co-founded the ADD Coaching field and developed the ADD-specific coaching curriculum that is the model in use today, with individual “tweaks” from various schools and organizations for various reasons, not ALL having to do with what works BEST, IMHO.

My technique was sourced by over a decade of intensive ADD research along with additional years of experience building what I call the “vanilla” coaching field (unflavored by ADD), alongside Thomas Leonard.

And even my original model is old technology, aware as I am of what scientists have learned about the brain since I put that curriculum together.  My new curriculum will be head and shoulders better.

Please don’t mistake confidence, self-esteem and self-awareness for ego.

There may well be a hundred other coaches who might turn out to be “better” for you than working with me, but my point is that you will find that none of them will be very good if you hamstring them at the outset.

Nor will you start out your relationship with any of them on a positive note by assuming that they are “deficient” in some manner that must be compensated for by offering a lower fee.

You certainly won’t get what I, uniquely, have to offer by asking me to filter it through someone else’s technique.

Brand new coaches have no choice but to follow the model they are learning while they’re practicing their craft and developing their own style — experienced coaches simply don’t work that way (at least the good ones don’t).

You really MUST take a bit of time to investigate the person you are about to talk to before you approach them about partnering with you in your LIFE.

Rewrite Your Owner’s Manual™

Learning to drive my own ADD brain, I’ve studied the elements of “manifestation” for over 30 years, so there are few techniques from any modality I haven’t investigated.

NOTHING works “out of the box,” however – except, of course, for the person who builds the box. 

It seemed to me that EACH individual with whom I spoke was “missing” a key piece or two of a puzzle that was a stretch to put together for MANY people.

I also noticed that few of the “gurus” had sufficient cognitive flexibility to see outside their own paradigms to be able to help other system users with the “tweaking” that ALL systems always need to fit like a glove.

Their confidence may be seductive, but the truth is that one size never fits very many people particularly well.

Like “off the rack” clothing, you can try them on and expect them to fit many people well enough — but there is a good reason why superstars don’t buy off the rack that has little to do with labels.

MY way of working

I work in a manner I speak of as the need to Rewrite Your Owner’s Manual™. 

A brief explanation of the principles underlying what I call “brain-based coaching” is below.

Growth has four legs: Spirit, Body, Mind and BRAIN.

Each is important, and the process can be actuated from any “corner” as long as the others are developed as well, and in balance.

  1. SPIRIT – your connection to energy – God, higher power, universal mind, optimism, hope – however you choose to think about it, but you do need to know which outlet is the one YOUR “human apparatus” needs to connect to and make sure to stay plugged there. Said another way, prayer does little for the agnostic, because the internal disbelief short circuits the process.
  2. BODY – the physical manifestation of the energy you work with – that “human apparatus” — health, tone, physical energy, of course, but this is also the mechanism through which ACTION is supported — “buying the ticket” that needs to happen, even if “spirit” is on board to make sure you win the lottery.
  3. MIND – the intellect, distinct from the physical “brain” – logic, affirmations, learning, cognition. MIND interacts with spirit through your subconscious and communicates with the body through the brain.
  4. BRAIN – your energy transformer and transmitter.  The more one understands about neuroscience, the better able one is to predict where the goodies lie in one’s unique physical apparatus, and what needs to be worked with and strengthened, worked around or avoided altogether.

    Who KNOWS or CARES whether your brain, (ADD/EFD/TBI or vanilla), is the chicken or the egg in your cognitive experience.

    I have no doubt that it is a kick-a$$ steering wheel!

You are trembling on the brink of blowing an opportunity to understand the process of learning to drive the unique brain you alone were born with through a “hands on” experiential process of what works – uniquely – for YOU, and why.

 Lifetime Learning

I don’t “give a man a fish” — or “teach fishing” and make sure he darned-well takes the time to do it, to make sure that a client can “eat” for a lifetime.

I transfer an understanding of the process that can be used cross-category for the rest of your life – long after your work with me is history.

By being referred for one of my sliding-scale slots, you just won the coaching lottery, metaphorically.

Don’t waste my time or yours by limiting what I can offer you.

© 2014, all rights reserved
Check bottom of Home/New to find out the “sharing rules”

As always, if you want notification of new articles in this Series – or any new posts on this blog – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered for this one too). STRICT No Spam Policy

IN ANY CASE, do stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.

Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)

You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.

Related articles right here on

From the Coaching FIT series:

A few related Coaching Articles:

A Few LinkLists by Category (to articles here on

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

5 Responses to YOU are Bigger than your To-Do List

  1. Pingback: Thinking on the Margin | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  2. Pingback: Friday Fun: “Managing” Time? | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  3. Pingback: 10 Simple Coaching Questions to Consider | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  4. Amy says:

    Great article, Madelyn! thanks much for sharing. Lots of nuggets and wisdom and I particularly loved this line, “NOTHING works “out of the box,” however – except, of course, for the person who builds the box.” May I use this quote, with proper attribution, of course?


    • But of course! With attribution. Amy – and VERY few exceptions – the entire blog is © with my personal flavor of “Creative Commons” (sharing rules always at bottom of home page – exceptions are noted with the text itself).

      For a simple quote like this, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie linked to ADDandSoMuchMore is FINE. And thanks for asking (and reading and commenting too, of course)



And what do YOU think? I'm interested.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: