The Wisdom of those Three Kings

They didn’t RUSH to get it all done
by December 25th
(Arriving with THEIR Gifts 12 days later!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Hey, if Twelfth Night was good enough for THREE separate men known throughout the world for their wisdom — so much so that they are simply referred to as the Three Wise Men — who are we to question the timing?

If you are struggling with one of the Alphabet Disorders, it only makes sense to adopt their extremely wise idea of moving your own celebration to January 6th as well — or at least to its Eve, the night of the 5th.

I have already, so I can attest to how much nicer it makes everything!

SOME of the benefits of celebrating on Twelfth Night:

  • It gives you an extra 12 days to get ready
  • It allows you to shop the after-Christmas sales
  • It “uncrowds” your holiday calendar, minimizing the conflicts that create so many of those “but I thought you were spending this Christmas with US” in-law hurt feelings, and
  • It still allows you to create your own family traditions free of most family-of-origin pressure.

For those who are concerned about The Reason for the Season getting lost in the commercialism of it all, celebrating the present-fest on Twelfth Night leaves time on Christmas Day for Church-related or charity events, as it gives you a perfect opportunity for some Bible-story education.

Did you catch the part about the extra 12 days to get ready?

Do not try to change the world

For reasons I will never understand, moving the gift-exchange into the future by almost two weeks seems to be as tough a sell as suggesting that adults forgo a gift exchange completely – believe me, I’ve tried.

No matter. In many ways it makes things easier.

When others give you their gifts on Christmas, smile sweetly, almost piously, and say simply, “You will have to wait until 12th Nite for my gift to you – when the Three Wise Men arrived with their gifts for the Baby Jesus.”

  • Reciprocation is ever so much easier than trying to figure everything out ahead of time.
  • Quickly make a mental note to run out to get something for your side of the gift exchange (though an ACTUAL note makes reciprocation a lot more likely to actually happen).  

Not only that, waiting until Twelfth Night helps stretch meager cash-stores, since you will be able to shop the best sales — after Christmas, remember.

How else do you think those “Twelve Days of Christmas” True Love Givers that everybody sings about were able to gift so much?  They shopped the 12 days AFTER Christmas, when golden rings go ON SALE (nobody can afford to pay retail for five of the darned things in today’s economy!)

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar
for a reminder of how links work on this site, they’re subtle ==>

 But what about my KIDS?

Jeremy Reed of the Whistling While We Work blog is feeling pressure he might avoid if he made like the Wise Men.

Here’s a quote from his recent blog article, illustrated by the graphic to the left:

Despite record tough times in the 80’s, my parents (and Santa) always put on a show.

At this point, I carry a fire in my belly to put on the same show for my own kids. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about buying out Toys R Us each year.

I’m talking about getting that perfect combination of gifts. You know, finding that Red Rider BB gun each year.

Haven’t we all had similar concerns?  Who doesn’t care enough to prefer to provide their loved-ones with only the very best – just look how successful Hallmark has been by taking advantage of those very same thoughts.

Working around the Santa story

If your kids no longer believe in Santa Claus, changing the tradition is a no-brainer. Kids can be amazingly adaptable.

Simply explain the economic realities and give them a choice – fewer, cheaper presents, or a shot at getting what they really want on Twelfth Night.  Kids LOVE choices.

The pressure’s out of YOUR cooker either way, and you can always try again next year (when they’ll take you seriously, if you stick to the game plan).

If your kids are little, changing is still a no-brainer – you can still do a few smaller Santa gifts and the stockings on Christmas DAY, then exchange the family gifts on 12th Night.  (NO kid complains about two present days, right?)

AND, by shopping the sales, you will probably be able to afford at least ONE of those WOW-factor gifts that seem to have Jeremy stuck in procrastinator’s Hades.

You will have a better idea of which one once your own kids see what their little friends unwrapped on Christmas morning and tell you ALL about it.

Togetherness is what really matters, right?

If you’re not taking a trip to the in-laws for dinner, use the time made available to make your own warm family-and-friends memories on Christmas Day — like hanging the remainder of the ornaments on your tree, for example, or putting all the empty ornament boxes away and straightening up TOGETHER before everyone pitches in to set a lovely table for Christmas Dinner.

Think of how wonderful it will be not to have to clean up all those formerly high-priced wrapping paper shards before you can gather to read a lovely Christmas story to each other – or watch a warm-fuzzy Christmas video – or sit by the fireside listening to your favorite Christmas tunes.

When present day finally comes

EVEN the least organized of us surely will be able to recall where we put the 75%-off wrapping paper, boxes and bows, and the gifts purchased on sale only a few short days ago.

It makes things so much easier to prepare for the rush to wrap on the Eve before Twelfth Night.

Yes, you’ll still be YOU, but think of the time you’ll save that you used to spend on the annual Christmas scavenger hunt. (You might even have time to take more than a nap to leave you better rested for the melee to follow.)

IF you still need a bit more convincing, consider THIS:


As you are frantically rushing around for most of the rest of this Christmas Eve, I will be snuggled into my brand new Christmas jammies after a long soak in a hot bubble bath, sipping a bit of brandy by the glow of a Christmas tree, listening to my favorite jazz Christmas tunes and playing with my Christmas Puppy — as I leisurely finish decking as much of the rest of my halls as I feel up to tonight.

After all, I still have eleven more days before
my friends arrive to celebrate Twelfth Night with me.

Whatever your pleasure – Merry Christmas to all and to all, a GOOD night – I’ll be back again next Monday.

AS ALWAYS, comments are encouraged and eagerly awaited – EVEN from Grinches – as long as you don’t make individual people wrong, and do your best to avoid the dreaded “should” word, I will approve all comers.

Link-spammers shot on sight, however.

© 2014, all rights reserved
Check bottom of Home/New to find out the “sharing rules”

Keep scrolling for the LINKS to, among others, the Christmas Jammies videos.  If you haven’t seen them yet, you are in for a real treat.  The bar for Christmas Newsletters has been forever raised.

As always, if you want notification of new articles in this Series – or any new posts on this blog – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered for this one too). STRICT No Spam Policy

IN ANY CASE, do stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.

Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this Series (one-on-one couples or group), click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end (or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page). Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)

You might also be interested in some of the following articles
available right now – on this site and elsewhere.

For links in context: run your cursor over the article above and the dark grey links will turn dark red;
(subtle, so they don’t pull focus while you read, but you can find them to click when you’re ready for them)
— and check out the links to other Related Content in each of the articles themselves —

Related articles right here on
(in case you missed them above or below)

  • Brain-based Coaching with Madelyn Griffith-Haynie

Other supports – on

A Few LinkLists by Category (to articles here on

A FEW of my twelve FOURTEEN Pinterest Christmas-themed Boards

ADDCoach Christmas Boards on Pinterest Below

(Go Take a look for some Christmas inspiration)
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BY THE WAY: Since is an Evergreen site, I revisit all my content periodically to update links — when you link back, like, follow or comment, you STAY on the page. When you do not, you run a high risk of getting replaced by a site with a more generous, Christmas-appropriate come-from.

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

5 Responses to The Wisdom of those Three Kings

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