Do you love THIS Raymond?
Wednesday, November 19, 2014 5 Comments
Everybody Loves Raymond
(from an upcoming book, The Impulsivity Rundown © – all rights reserved)
by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of The Challenges Inventory™ Series
It’s impossible to keep a straight face around Raymond – he can make anybody laugh! Where does he come up with all the craziness that comes out of his mouth?
The sky’s the limit for this guy — TONS of potential — they say he really should be a stand up comic or a talk show host. He’d make a million.
People would pay just to hear him laugh. Really. He is the essence of fun.
He’s smart, can DO practically anything, and has tried to do practically everything. He is just the nicest guy you’d ever wanna’ meet.
He got so many responses to his profile on “Find Your Soul-mate” he barely had time to meet any of them because of the hours and hours he spent following up online. Most of the dates he did make started out badly when he was so darned LATE, but Ray was able to turn things around (that date, anyway).
Talk about selling snow to Eskimos — Ray wrote the book! He seems to be able to talk anybody into ANYthing (as long as they don’t get to know him too well!)
Even his exes find it hard to find a bad thing to say about the guy. Except that, “Nobody could live with him. He’d drive anybody crazy.”
That’s a real shame, too, because Raymond would really like to find his soul mate . . . and his ideal job . . . and a group of friends that isn’t always trying to change him in a million little ways (or help him get into hot water).
- He has no idea how he keeps messing up one good relationship after another.
- He’s always surprised when he finds out that his job is on the line . . . again.
- He doesn’t understand why his friends and family are so angry;
he said he was sorry. And he really IS, every single time –
even when he doesn’t really understand exactly what he DID.
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What’s up with Raymond?
He really doesn’t mean to mess things up and drive people crazy – he simply doesn’t seem to know how to STOP himself. A thought or an idea enters his head, and the next thing he knows he’s done or said something that seems to turn the whole world sour.
No brakes — with only an amazing sense of humor as a defense. It masks an almost pervasive sense of despair, however. Without an audience, he can barely activate at all. But once he does, he knows it’s just a matter of time before he’s back in the soup again.
And I’ll just bet that many of you reading can relate. You either KNOW a Raymond or you ARE a Raymond.
The Heartbreak of the Undiagnosed
It IS hard to believe why we do some of the dumb things we do, even AFTER we understand what’s really going on with us.
It’s practically impossible to understand ourselves and our behavior BEFORE we understand what’s really going on with us.
- Until we understand what’s really going on, life plays out like a sad scene in the movie Groundhog Day – over and over and over again.
- We can’t change the picture until we understand what we need to change.
- And that starts with diagnosis and treatment.
What IS going on with Raymond?
Ray seems to have a problem with Executive Functioning, mediated by a particular part of the Pre-Frontal Cortex.
Our Executive Functions are our higher-order cognitive behaviors — like planning, organizing, stopping to consider the wisest course of action, paying attention to and remembering details, and managing life within the limits of time and space.
Raymond’s PFC is like a racecar with a driver nodding off at the wheel.
In Ray’s case, EF problems seem pervasive (click the links below to read more about any of them that trouble you as well — dark grey, remember).
- Impulsivity — No Brakes
- Problems sustaining Attention and Focus
- Mental and physical Hyperactivity
Raymond doesn’t understand that there’s a problem, however.
It’s hard to adjust anything you don’t comprehend
Even though he often wonders if other people understand some concept or other that is simply beyond him, Ray doesn’t want to look too closely at the idea that there might be something different about him – beyond his behavior, that it.
He’s worried that “different” might mean “defective.”
He pooh-poohs any suggestion of “ADD” or anything like it, indoctrinated by the sound-bite chasing media. Fear-mongering sells, even as it shuts down lives.
Making matters worse, there are even doctors who might as well be getting their continuing education from the popular press. They write ridiculous books that say ridiculous things – opinions of ignorance presented as professional expertise.
Even the professionals who put together the latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), cloud the issues as they seem to be more interested in becoming politically popular than relevant and useful.
Meanwhile, Ray’s life is in shambles. Is yours?
Don’t be like Raymond. Find a good doctor and CHECK IT OUT! There are still a great many well-informed professionals to be found. I left a link to one of the best in the Related Content below.
Interested in YOUR experiences
If you have a story to share about your own life since diagnosis (of any of the Alphabet Disorders), share it with ALL of us in the comment section below.
Let’s get a dialogue going!
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
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There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.
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Related Articles here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com
- LinkList of Activation articles
- The Articles of the Challenges Inventory™ Series
- What ARE Executive Functions?
- The Impulsivity Rundown
- Symptoms of Attentional Struggles
- Troubles with Transitions
- ADD/ADHD and TIME: will ANYthing work?
- ABOUT Activation
- The Procrastination Puzzle & the ADD Brain-style
- ABOUT Hyperactivity
- ADD – what’s in a NAME?
- New title sells books – sells OUT lives
- Ridiculous comments from ADD Pros
- Gotta’ love the DSM-5 — NOT?
- 10 Questions to Ask to find a GRRRRreat! ADD Doc
- ABOUT Alphabet Disorders
Related Articles ’round the net
ALL open in new window/tab (depending on YOUR browser setting)
– hold before clicking for box with a hint of what you’ll find there –
- ADHD – The Galileo Moment – on Dr. Parker’s excellent CorePsych blog
- Label this: The Importance of Diagnosis (Aspergers, but relative)
- Frontotemporal Dementia and the Importance of Accurate Diagnosis (Aging in America)
- Heroes Not Zombies on the Importance of Diagnosis
- Huma Munshi: on the importance of understanding mental health
- Social Factors and the Evaluation of Mental Disorders
BY THE WAY: Since ADDandSoMuchMore.com is an Evergreen site, I revisit all my content periodically to update links — when you link back, like, follow or comment, you STAY on the page. When you do not, you run a high risk of getting replaced by a site with a more generous come-from.