Beginning the VBD experiment

VirtualBodyDbl Heading

How am I going to DO this?
– click HERE for the Introductory Article –

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Starting out freaking

I began calmly enough — by inserting October’s calendar pages in my someday-to-be-trusty-again DayTimer (that nearly naked replacement I’m attempting to populate anew, thanks to the mugging that dominoed into three months with my dominant hand and arm in a cast, starting off 2014 with a bang.)

I moved on – a little less calmly as I ricocheted off the memory of the first nine months of this year – on my way to setting up a game-plan from which I can move forward.

The productivity gurus swear that I will be more centered after capturing the details of what is before me.  Who am I to argue with a guru?

Source: click image

Source: click image

I began by counting the number of Fridays until Christmas – doesn’t everyone?  Counting this one, eleven.


OMG, eleven.

Bring on the freak-out.

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar for a reminder
of how links work on this site, they’re subtle (scroll UP for it) ==>


In case anybody missed the import here, in addition to keeping up with this blog, there are only eleven weekends remaining to do everything below and more:

  • Get my realty company to haul the plumber back in here to fix the hot-water dripping in my kitchen sink that is becoming increasingly more than a little intent on becoming a stream** – and the electrician to get some ceiling lights working in the bedroom, living room and kitchen.  Lamps alone aren’t cuttin’ it!
  • Jump through the hoops to get meds back on board to help me stop spinning my wheels
  • Handle the yada-yada it takes to get my eyes checked and order new glasses so that I can read the names of the streets BEFORE I drive past them — & get to the dentist — and the haircutter – and color my roots so I don’t walk around looking like a skunk (hey – being forced to move home and office out of the blue keeps one more than a little busy!)
  • Replace again all the replacement cards that got my name wrong. What IS it about America’s confusion over hyphenated last names? Wouldn’t you think in the forty years they’ve become common-place that at least the banks and the Deparment of Motor Vehicles would have figured it out?
  • Change my mailing address and email everywhere online, order new new checks and business cards with my current address, and replace my stolen library card AND re-register to vote!
  • Bring my fourth replacement phone’s address book back to any degree of functionality what-so-ever, get a ring-tone installed that actually RINGS, and begin to slog through a bodacious backlog of calls I couldn’t make during the months – MONTHS! – I didn’t have a phone that would hold a charge.
  • Raise that stupid space waster of a standard-height shelf and add a jacket rod to the coat closet to be able to organize the coats; locate the remainder of my winter clothes and get them into the bedroom closet (oh yeah, and do something about that bedroom, including the boxes still stacked behind my DIY 4-panel screen)
  • Finish organizing my office, not to mention the rest of my entire brand new apartment; cover six extremely large windows with some kind of curtains before it gets cold; hang a blue-million framed pieces of artwork and all mirrors that have turned the entry hall an obstacle course.
  • Oh yeah, and move the lumber I won’t be using for shelving right away into storage or something (after I find some place to construct a tool closet so I can liberate the office table and a knock-down bookcase currently obscuring the office fireplace)
  • Organize my library.  My friends the BOOKS are weeping at their currently disorganized state.
  • Figure out what’s up with my non-working email and get back to work, including scheduling and announcing classes for next year that had to be put totally on hold this year (see the Carmen Sandiego post if you’re curious about why)
  • So that I can somehow find the time and space to deck the halls so that life feels festive to me once more!

I don’t need body doubles, I need BODIES!  Helpers. Worker bees.
Clones – robots – maids – handipersons – guardian angels . . .

and a bloody MIRACLE!

Once again, the productivity gurus have been proven wrong about ADD/EFDers and detail.

I am DEFINITELY NOT more centered after capturing what is before me.

Maybe after a good night’s sleep.  I’m going to go to bed now, and let my subconscious mind work on it for a bit.  Meanwhile . . .

Got any great ideas, anyone?




SinkFixedWineSkip Covington


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About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

7 Responses to Beginning the VBD experiment

  1. wendy says:

    Deep Breath! And think….Who can you get to help, because there is no way you can get all of this stuff done by your self, and it is not doing you any good to look at this list and see all of it.


    I would end up hiding, now meaning to, but I would end up finding ways not to go home to hide from dealing with it. (I don’t really know that, but somewhere in my mind I think I might.)

    and yet you find time to help me. You are amazing.

    First, look at the list and think…..what can I put off. Yes, I know you don’t want to put off anything, but some things have to be put off. I had to put off putting up the artwork, because I hurt my hip and my husband said…”You really don’t trust me to do this without you do you?” and I had to admit….no. Oh he’d put it up, and I’d constantly think….”why would he put that there? What was he thinking?” I know, he has ADD and OCD…so he was thinking, I’ll get this up for her…but it has to be by order of size and shape and …. yeah you get it. Not thinking, this huge abstract piece looks really stupid by these all these small photos of our wedding….or something like that. haha

    But I’m off track. So the art, is mostly under the bed, behind the couch…just kind of hidden as well as can be, (in a little over 700 sq ft place). The shelves that need to go up and the things on them…well he’s getting to it, a little at a time, but he is taking care of me and all household stuff…which you don’t mention…I mean you still have to feed yourself, and do laundry and everything else!!! So, that stuff is piled up as nice as possible in the only “spare” room in the place. It will get done. At some point. I am not going to fret about it! There are more important things….like not getting an ulcer over this stuff!

    Think about things. When everything went to hell and you just had to survive…this stuff would not have been as important. Pay attention to your body. Do not let this stuff make your body think this is survival mode. You need to give yourself a break. And my goodness gracious tell that phone company to go F*&% itself! Sorry. I know you have done EVERYTHING you possibly could. I do NOT doubt that for a moment!! It just felt good for me to say it. haha

    I want to help so much. You have no idea how much you helped me this past week. and with everything you have to do.

    Step away from the computer.

    Breathe. (yes I know you can’t help but breathe, or you would die, but notice the breath. Feel it. Feel how when you really notice it, your head feels different? My head feels different when I do that, my scalp kind of does this softening thing or something. I notice my stomach expand and contract. Just breathe for a moment. In….Out.)

    Now….if you can….remember to do that a few times a day. I do not want my friend to get an ulcer on top of all of this….or any other stress induced illness!!!

    One moment at a time. That’s all we have. Do not think you can handle more than that. You are only one.

    love to you my dear.


    • Wendy, this is fantastic! I bought bed-risers for my chaise & a sort of “footstool” yesterday so I could store out of season clothes underneath. PICTURES! Yes! The closets, although over-crowded, at least have doors I can shut (for now).

      Thanks for the breathing reminder – lol. I actually have a post coming up that talks about that very thing, but it seems to take someone ELSE to remind us of what we know.

      My friend Andy raised his 1st stage money <===link and will spend almost all day today in the dentists chair at a GREAT dental school he qualified for.

      Once he has his temporary teeth, believe it or not, he wants to jump on a plane and come help me between his own treatments – inoperable brain tumor, MS, diabetic neuropathy, and all. (He set up the Platinum concierge program for American Express when he was healthier, so he is GREAT at getting things done.)

      BTW – Amex badly screwed the whole development team to move that biz out of US – and it's waiting to come to trial as Amex stalls. I vote with my wallet! Will NEVER use (or take) Amex as a form of payment. Their lawyers are EVIL — but that's another story.

      My point is that those of us who struggle seem ALWAYS to be the most willing to help others who struggle.
      Those who "have" frequently turn a blind eye to those who struggle, with no realization that "there but for the grace of God" would be their own lives.

      My friend Peggy Ramundo, who can barely get out of bed some days due to all that happened around the murder of her son, rallied to help me move.


      And now, I am going to "step away from the computer."



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