When “Breaking News” becomes Personal


The Heartbreak of Mental Illness hits Close to Home

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

PeggyPink_cropped_152x202Sad News

Peggy Ramundo’s 32 year old son Roger Jeremy was shot and killed by a Cincinnati Police Officer Wednesday afternoon, July 17, 2013 — two shots in the back, into his kidney at point-blank range.  He was observed by his sister to be restrained by four other officers at the time.

The shooting occurred on the back deck of Arlin’s, a Bar and Restaurant where Jeremy had gone for a late lunch, walking distance from Peggy’s home in the historic Cincinnati, Ohio Clifton Gaslight District.

His tragic death came after many weeks of Jeremy’s suffering escalating mania and terrifying paranoia, symptoms of the mental illness he has struggled with since 2003. (His doctor of ten years said he was “too busy” to work him in for an emergency appointment, despite three desperate calls!)

Peggy, Jeremy’s father Rob, sister Alison and their extended family are trying to find some solace in the knowledge that Jeremy’s tormented spirit is finally at Peace, no longer consumed by the terrifying demons that he fought against valiantly and, in the end, unsuccessfully.

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LazyCrazyPinkRegular readers of this blog know that colleague and friend Peggy Ramundo is the co-author (along with the late Kate Kelly) of the ADD classic, You Mean I’m NOT Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!, and that she and I offer the ADD and the Spirit Coach Training. [ASCT], currently suspended**

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Thoughtful and kind, though troubled

Jeremy was much loved and well regarded by those who knew him, and the merchants of the stores in the small business district nearby frequently commented to Peggy that he was, “such a nice, well-mannered young man.”

HORRENDOUSLY (and a shameful reflection on psychiatric treatment professionals), he was told there was nothing available for many weeks upon making THREE different attempts to contact his doctor for an appointment in the weeks preceding this incident — hoping to head off what became inevitable without emergency treatment.

Mental Health “care” in America is disgracefully inadequate!

In the days before his death, Jeremy had written a letter detailing his wishes to donate whatever could be used for transplants to help as many people as possible before his cremation. Hours before he was killed, Jeremy repeatedly said that “It’s almost over” — perhaps an indication that it was Jeremy’s intention to end his torment.

In lieu of flowers, Peggy requests donations in her son’s name
to either of his favorite charities:
Guiding Eyes for the Blind. and the Cincinnati SPCA.

Sunday Memorial Service

A Memorial Service for Jeremy will be held at 3:00 PM Sunday, July 28,
at Garden Park Unity on West Galbraith Road in Cincinnati.

Cards can be sent to Peggy and her family at 357 Thrall Street, Cincinnati, Ohio 45220. Friends, colleagues and students are invited to contact Peggy via text, Facebook posts (where she has recently uploaded pictures of Jeremy taken in the past few years) or to her email: coachpeggyramundo “at” gmail “dot” com.

She will also be reading comments left for her below.  Whether she feels up to responding or not, know that expressions of sympathy and love are SO helpful, in this circumstance especially.

NO PRESS PLEASE

We respectfully request that reporters honor the wishes of the family for privacy during this time – NO cameras or contact for interviews, PLEASE.

** NOTICE TO POTENTIAL STUDENTS **

I’m sure you can understand that, at this particular time, Peggy and I will not be interviewing candidates or responding to requests for information about the training.

I will post a notice when Peggy is ready to return to work.

Thanks for your support and understanding during this extremely difficult period of time – the absolute WORST nightmare for any parent, which we can expect to take considerable time for her to process and accept.

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

19 Responses to When “Breaking News” becomes Personal

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  5. Mary says:

    Peggy, it is 2016, I know the pain must still be there! I am so sorry! I used to live in Ohio where in the 1990’s the doctors did not use Stimulants, so I the state has a poor mental health record!! Texas is just as bad!! My thoughts and prsyers are with you tonight!!

    Like

    • Peggy is rarely active on this blog – but I’ll pass your thoughtful wishes along. Thank you so much, Mary, I’m sure she will appreciate them.
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
      – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
      “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      Like

    • Peggy Ramundo says:

      Dear Mary,

      Your comment is very much appreciated. Yes, it will be 3 years this summer since my son was killed, but there is no such thing as a ‘prescribed’ grieving period–there are still many days that I feel as shattered as I did the day I lost him. My heart goes out to all the “Jeremys” out there–and to their loved ones–who are mentally ill and receiving inadequate care from what is, in my opinion, the seriously broken Mental Health System in this country.

      Like

  6. wendy says:

    This is so heartbreaking. Peggy I don’t know you, but my heart goes out to you and Madelyn and all of those who cared for your son. I know there are no words that can ease your pain, but know that if there were I would try my best to say them. Please try to take care of your selves at this time.

    This brings about such deep heartbreak for all who can’t find the mental health care they need. I myself have found it very hard to find help when I have been in a crisis situation. As Madelyn said. “Mental Health “care” in America is disgracefully inadequate!”

    peace to you

    Like

    • Thanks Wendy — I will pass this on to Peggy. The one year anniversary of Jeremy’s murder has been difficult for her, and your kind comments will certainly help.
      xx,
      mgh

      PS. Sorry for the delay in response – I’ve been “spitting” on brush fires and am only now able to get back to it. Below copied from a response to the first “real” comment I came across.
      ~~~~~~~
      I am only right this second reconnected after a sudden move at a particularly unfortunate time (that was NOT my idea). I’m still “moving in” — but have unpacked most of the boxes, finally have clean sheets, towels and slipcovers (along with a few clean pairs of jeans!) and have set up enough of my office that I can, once again, return to work for a few hours each day as I continue to make this new pre-war apartment a home. I haven’t located my good keyboard yet, so this “sticky key” version may result in a few missed typos. Please excuse if so.
      ~~~~~~~~~~
      I’ll be drafting an “I’m back” article to catch readers up on where I’ve been, but I wanted to start by responding to wonderful people like you!

      Like

  7. annieller says:

    Madelyn,
    This is so horrible. I am so sorry, you and Peggy are in my thoughts and prayers continuously.

    Oh Peggy,
    I am so sorry for the terrible loss of your beautiful, precious son.
    You are constantly in my heart and thoughts and prayers.

    In much sorrow and with much love,
    Annie

    Like

    • Thanks Annie – know that this comment has been read to Peggy.

      Like

  8. Mary Austin says:

    With deep sympathy and sadness. Loving thoughts to you.

    Like

    • Thanks Mary – know that this comment has been read to Peggy.

      Like

  9. Jean Latting says:

    What a heart-breaking story! My condolences to Peggy, her family, and you Madelyn.

    Like

    • Thanks Jean – know that this comment has been read to Peggy. I appreciate your condolences to me as well. This incident has created an EXTREMELY difficult period in both our lives.

      Like

  10. Madelyn,

    OMG! I haven’t been able to do any reading lately, but when I jumped onto take at look here I was shocked. I am saddened by such a sudden and tragic loss.

    I heard losing a child (regardless of age) is the worse and most painful loss for any parent. I hope I never experience it!

    I will pray for Peggy and the family but as I pray for them I am praying for you as I know how close you are to them … Madelyn you are her chosen family.

    I think this is the third death for you within the past year, and at least the same for Peggy. Do know I will keep you all in thought and prayer. If there is some way I can help out please let me know.

    In the meantime, take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and take time to grieve. I highly recommend reading the article you wrote on “Grieving”. Don’t just read it, but implement your strategies!

    Take care and stay safe,
    Edie

    I’m taking a much needed vacation to visit my sister in Wyoming and camp at Yellowstone. I’m planning on taking in “mother nature” and enjoy the simple things in life. Our friend continues to recover and returned to our home after 6 weeks hospitalization.

    I guess I was “Just Being” … Being by her side every day and praying! Prayer means so much.

    I wish I could be there for you … I am in heart and spirit!

    We count our blessings for the simple things … like breathing, and just being! Looking forward finally to R & R and “Just Being”!

    Like

    • God bless your continued support, Edie – especially over this particular time of heartbreak – know that this comment has been read to Peggy.

      Like

  11. Ann Miller says:

    My heart breaks for Peggy. I saw her in Detroit last weekend and it was such a delight to finally meet her and spend time speaking with her. I will pray for Jeremy, Peggy, and their entire family. This has been such a tough past year for her. It just seems unfair. My best to you too, Madelyn.

    Like

    • Thanks Ann – know that this comment has been read to Peggy. (And thanks for including me in your heart as well). Prayers appreciated.

      Like

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