Saturday, August 13, 2011 4 Comments
Shifting Your Come-From
by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
An ADD Coaching Basic Skill
In the Coaching world, the term “come-from” is used to refer to and describe the point of view and basic assumptions underlying any particular individual’s language or behavior — his or her world view, you might say.
Come-from is one of the most important underlying concepts in coaching.
Why? Because where you stand to view the scenery determines what you are ABLE to see.
We humans seem to like to keep score, collecting “evidence” to validate our core beliefs.
- It isn’t just that we see what we look for.
- Come-from alters perception.
A shift involves a change in context that alters how you perceive events, communications, and behaviors.
It also alters your feelings, behavior, and language in the process.
Shifting relies on language, and lies within the province of language, but it would be a big mistake to view it as merely a trick of language.
I am talking about something much larger than semantic arguments
and “positive” advice like:
- Just TELL yourself you are successful!
- You ‘ll never be successful if you don’t expect to be successful!
- Or, worse, language that might as well be saying,
“Be grateful for whatever small examples of success you have in your life,
there are so many who do not have even that much.”
That kind of thing is less than useless and makes me want to scream.
• I am not suggesting that you deny your reality;
• I am encouraging you to examine the source of your reality.
When we make a shift, we actually change our experience of life, simply because we have changed our expectations — by virtue of the fact that we have shifted our come-from. I’ll give you an example to clarify my meaning.
Evidence and Come-From
If Dr. Barbara Smith believes she is one of the best heart surgeons in the country and her patient’s heart stops as she is operating on him, she will quickly mobilize her best efforts in a manner that respects the nature of the emergency, yet is focused and clearheaded.
While no doctor is unaffected by the death of a patient under her care, reminding herself of something along the lines of the idea that no matter how meticulous her surgery, not everything in the universe is under her direct control, Dr. Smith is able to continue the surgery with no loss of confidence in her abilities.
If Dr. David Jones were to find himself in that situation, only too aware of the limitations of modern medicine (and his own), his unacknowledged fear is quite likely to cloud his strength of purpose. His patient’s heart stopping in the middle of surgery would no-doubt further undermine his confidence.
- Whatever the outcome of the operation, Dr. Smith’s belief would probably be that she had done exactly what she had been trained to do, confident that she had done what any well-trained surgeon would have done.
- Dr. Jones would probably assert that he had evidence supporting his lack of belief in the reliability of modern medicine and the effectiveness of surgical intervention that would further reinforce his paradigm, even if the patient ultimately made it through the operation with flying colors.
Both doctors are able to come to completely different conclusions from the same evidence! Until Dr. Jones is able to make the shift that Dr. Smith has already made, he can only gather more evidence to support his position.
Three Steps to Shifting your Come-from
As you look at the evidence in your life, remember that your conclusions were shaped by your come-from. You can’t look at the evidence itself to decide whether something was, for example, a success or a failure — because your conclusions will be colored by your come-from as well as your expectations.
If you hope to experience greater success, experiment with the following:
- Examining the come-from that has created your current level of success
is an important first step – whether you are wildly successful already or
limping through each day.
- Shifting your come-from, which will involve reframing the evidence and
- Banishing all “I told you so” retorts from your former paradigm.
Stay tuned for future posts in this thread that will give you a little coaching on how to DO that!
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Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.
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Related articles right here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com
(in case you missed them above or don’t see them below)
- Evergreen sites
- Reframing: Changing the Frame changes the VIEW
- Confirmation Bias: the Tragedy of Certainty
- Distinguishing-101 (and “shifting”)
- Distinguishing Can’t from Won’t
- If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t blame the foot!
- The Name of the Game Determines How You Play
Related articles around the ‘net:
- ADHD and Creativity (the-mouse-trap.com)
- Belief Matters for Improving Memory Capabilities (psychologytoday.com)
- On Chomsky and the Two Cultures of Statistical Learning (norvig.com)
- Paradigm Shift (euzicasa.wordpress.com)
- Seven Primary Motivations (renaissanceforleaders.com)
- Mainstream or alternative? A paradigm shift towards energism and holistic health? (moragpatersoncec.wordpress.com)
BY THE WAY: Since ADDandSoMuchMore.com is an Evergreen site, I revisit all my content periodically to update links — when you link back, like, follow or comment, you STAY on the page. When you do not, you run a high risk of getting replaced by a site with a more generous come-from.