Happy New Year’s Resolution to YOU


by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Resolutions? Have I lost my MIND?!

Drawing of a hand, arm, quill pen and paper, under the words New Year Resolutions - as if in handwriting.It isn’t even Thanksgiving yet.  Miles from Halloween, even, last time I looked.  New Years?  Resolutions?

YessireeBOB!

In my experience, in the United States at least, September is the time we think about changes in ways that empower us to actually make some: new school year, new binder, new clothes, new locker, new life. In a rare fit of temporal consciousness, I notice that we have just entered the month of August. September is one short month away, if I remember the calendar correctly.

Time to get busy with some change-management.

A therapist I know has this to say about change:

“Everybody wants things to be different, but nobody wants anything to change.”

He doesn’t add, “especially anything about THEM” – but I have always believed that’s what he was really talking about: the devil you know, and all that.

What IS it about change that makes us cringe?  

Never one to ask a rhetorical question without an answer at the ready, I’ll tell you what I think it is – at least where those of us with ADD brain wiring are concerned: it’s so damned disorienting.

JUST when we get some process on autopilot so we can finally avoid the dreaded decision-making and memory nonsense with every step of the deal, some idiot updates the software and nothing works the same way anymore.  It makes us feel stupid.  It’s salt in an ADD wound that’s barely scabbed over to begin with.

Ever since Alvin Toffler  wrote that only-constant-is-change Future Shock book, nothing holds still for long at all.  And we are absolutely powerless to do a thing about it but bitch.

Is it any wonder that we dig our heels in when we have a bit of power?  RESOLVE to change something we’re used to? Change something about US?  When pigs fly, and not one moment sooner!

And yet . . .

There IS that obnoxious saying about doing the same thing and expecting a different result pointing to a person with one foot over the insanity line.

I don’t know about you, but after repeating a bazillion times to the ADD clue-free that “ADD is neurobiological NOT psychological!” I tend to have a bit of a knee-jerk aversion to doing anything that might make me look, you know, nuts.

So every year, like it or not, I force myself to upgrade my software in the hopes of getting a bit of improved functionality out of my hardware.  Doing it in September gives me a few extra months to ease into the process before everybody else starts bragging about their resolutions for the New Year.

I try to think about it as filling my schedule with the coming year’s classes.  

So much for Freshman English – leave it behind, nail shut the door, and stop worrying about the fact that my final term paper might have been really good if I hadn’t waited to begin until midnight the night before it was due.

This year is a brand new start to a whole new me. Sophomore lit, here I come!

Moving right along, that brings us to the narky topic that strikes fear in the hearts of ADDers everywhere: GOAL SETTING.  I am resolved to spend this month noodling goals, resolutions, change and self improvement – so that’s what my next few posts will center around.  (Well, at least as much as my blog posts ever quite CENTER.)

Wanna’ play too?  

How do YOU approach the process of intentional change?  What’s YOUR most effective method of setting goals, and how do you trick yourselves into taking steps in the direction you’ve mapped for your lives?

  • What keeps you motivated to completion?
  • What trips you up?
  • Do you have failsafes in place?
  • Do you have a Plan B?
  • How do you decide when to DUMP a goal?
  • How do you keep from throwing the baby out with the bath water?

I’ll share my secrets if you’ll share yours.  (Oh, who am I trying to kid, I’ll share mine regardless, but it sure would be a lot more fun if you’d join me on the jaunt.)

Are you game?  

As repeat visitors know, consistent with my goal of spreading the co-opetition meme across the ADD universe, I sometimes start a post here and link elsewhere for the rest of it.  I wrote this post originally for my blog at ADDerWorld.

After agonizing for an ADD-acceptable period of time, I broke my own rule and made the unprecidented decision to double post because I really DO want *your* comments and thoughts on this topic.  (So leave some SOMEWHERE, if only to get me to relax about my decision.)  

OK?

(btw, I can’t recommend strongly enough that you CLICK HERE to visit and join ADDerWorld – costs nothing – it’s an “ADD Facebook,” so “friend” me when you get there).   

Related Posts Here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com

About Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
Award-winning ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching field co-founder; [life] Coaching pioneer -- Neurodiversity Advocate, Coach, Mentor & Poster Girl -- Multi-Certified -- 25 years working with EFD [Executive Functioning disorders] and struggles in hundreds of people from all walks of life. I developed and delivered the world's first ADD-specific coach training curriculum: multi-year, brain-based, and ICF Certification tracked. In addition to my expertise in ADD/EF Systems Development Coaching, I am known for training and mentoring globally well-informed ADD Coach LEADERS with the vision to innovate, many of the most visible, knowledgeable and successful ADD Coaches in the field today (several of whom now deliver highly visible ADD coach trainings themselves). For almost a decade, I personally sponsored and facilitated seven monthly, virtual and global, no-charge support and information groups The ADD Hours™ - including The ADD Expert Speakers Series, hosting well-known ADD Professionals who were generous with their information and expertise, joining me in my belief that "It takes a village to educate a world." I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated - seeing "a world that works for everyone" in my lifetime. Get in touch when you're ready to have a life that works BECAUSE of who you are, building on strengths to step off that frustrating treadmill "when 'wanting to' just doesn't get it DONE!"

3 Responses to Happy New Year’s Resolution to YOU

  1. Pingback: For a REALLY Happy New Year | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  2. Lynn Vela says:

    Hi Madelyn, I friended you on ADDerworld as well. August is always my New Year. I feel anxious ready to change things in my life. It is a time for me to makenew goals andand start new plans. I guess I was conditioned by the big changes and advancments that a new year in school brings. If I don’t have changes for September I often feel left behind and depressed because life is passing me by. I am at that fork in the road again. What do do. So many changes to be made in my life. Lynn

    Like

    • I’ve been writing all weekend, so ADDerworld has been languishing. When I get this weekend’s brainchildren posted (WordPress is acting weird lately so it’s taking for- f-ing EVER), I’ll hop over and and click whatever I’m supposed to over there. Neat site, huh?

      Like

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