Listening for Time Troubles
Sunday, May 15, 2011 2 Comments
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by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of ADD Coaching Skills Series
Most ADD/EFDers have trouble with T-I-M-E. We run out of it, we are continually surprised by it, and we sometimes seem to be completely unaware of it.
All ADD Coaches worthy of the term must remain aware that Listening For your client’s awareness of time and their relationship to time (yes, they do have one!) almost always involves some serious sleuthing on the part of the coach!.
The Following Exercise is designed to help ADD Coaches sharpen their Listening FROM Skills
Not a coach? That’s OK – answer the questions below for yourself. The information will be useful to you in a Peer Coaching relationship [click HERE if you don’t have one of those]. Your functioning insights will be valuable even without an outside observer, but it might be difficult to sherlock in real time or to actuate changes. Do it anyway.
Following is a 5-item list of probable sources of “Time” Troubles.
If you were to print this article, you would place the number of the probable Time-Trouble source in the space next to the list of manifestations (symptoms) that comes next.
HOWEVER you do it, make your best guess as to the source of the struggle from the list above BEFORE you scroll down for the answers.
Don’t cheat. You must determine your answers before you continue with the article if you expect to get the benefit.
Scroll SLOWLY – line by line – or you will inadvertently see the answers before you have thought about it yourself.
SOURCES — Common underpinnings of Time-Troubles
- Underestimating the amount of time necessary.
- Overestimating the amount of time available.
- Focus trouble: inability to utilize adequate time supply due to distractions
- Hyperfocus trouble: stuck in an activity with no awareness of time
- Transition trouble: struggles changing horses in the middle of the stream
SITUATIONS— Common Manifestations of Time-Troubles
ivory aces here (“symptoms” to sherlock)
INSTRUCTIONS: For each of the items below, determine which of the probable sources
above is at the root of the “Follow Through and/or Time” challenges you are sherlocking.
___ Client always late for calls.
___ Client must be reminded several times to pay you every month.
___ Client repeatedly amazed it’s a non-coaching week when calling for appointment.
___ Client’s Daily To-Do List is HUGE.
___ Client forgets to pay bills.
___ Client misses deadlines at work.
___ Client forgets birthdays and anniversaries.
___ Client waits until the last minute to begin tasks.
___ Client has trouble getting away from work to get home for dinner.
___ Client thinks bedtime is whenever s/he can no longer function at all.
___ Client has trouble doing time estimates for multi-stepped tasks.
Have you decided what you think is the problem?
Don’t keep scrolling unless you have.
Check Your Answers Below
Depending on the “ADD-flavor” of your particular client,
any one of them could be caused by 1-2-3-4 or 5!
(Guess where you have to be hyper-vigilant with your listening from?)
Your task is listening for the 1-2-3-4-5 clues that apply to each of your clients for each and every difficulty they report. It could ALSO be complicated by more than a few things that aren’t even on the list of the five most common sources.
Because the SOURCE of the struggle determines what you have to DO to turn can’t into can!
Attempting to “fix” a problem using the wrong tool will rarely work and will often backfire. As frustrating as it can be for the coach, it’s demoralizing for the client.
How many times can a person keep “trying” until they decide it’s impossible?
Don’t stack the deck
- As an ADD COACH, you are the “externalized Prefrontal Cortex”
for clients who come to you with Executive Functioning challenges
- It is your job to help your ADD/EFD client focus
for as long as it takes them to internalize focusing techniques.
- That does NOT include sending them off to tilt at windmills.
You absolutely must DETERMINE THE CAUSE before you begin to work on solutions.
How much sense does THAT make!!
The content above is excerpted from the ADD-301, the Listening Module of the original ADD Coach Training I developed and delivered for The Optimal Functioning Institute.™ In this particular iteration of OFI’s ADD Coach Training, l covered how to systematize many of the struggles above in ADD-401, the Systems Module and ADD-501 the S-Module.
I will be posting some of that content here on the ADD-and-so-much-more blogsite in the future. So stay tuned.
SCROLL DOWN for links to related articles available NOW.
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IN ANY CASE, stay tuned.
There’s a lot to know, a lot here already, and a lot more to come – in this Series and in others.
Get it here while it’s still free for the taking.
Want to work directly with me? If you’d like some coaching help (one-on-one,couples or group) with anything that came up while you were reading this article, click HERE for Brain-based Coaching with mgh, with a contact form at its end, or click the E-me link on the menubar at the top of every page. Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)
Related articles on this site
- ADD and Time: 5 System Basics
- TIME Mapping Your Universe
- My Wrinkle in Time: HOW does time fly?
- What IS Time? (2013 Flame Challenge)
- Time & Time Management articles LinkList
- Listening from Belief
- HOW to Listen from Belief
- Expectations of Success shift
- ABOUT Alphabet Disorders
- ABOUT Executive Functions
- ADD Empathy – 101
- TransitionTamer™ – Troubles with Transitions (first in a Series)
Related articles around the ‘net
- Listening Levels and The Brain — Level One (yourcoachingbrain.wordpress.com)
- Different Kinds of ADHD, Different Kinds of Coaches (psychologytoday.com)
- The Art of Listening…Leading to Active Listening (beyondinsurance.wordpress.com)
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