10 Essential ADD Coaching Concepts


by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another article in the The ADD Coaching Skills Series

Graphic of a man with a map, sandles & a sword about to enter a maze - in the center we see the top of a brown, furry head, with hornsMore than any other client type, the ADD client knows more about what’s going on with their functioning than their coach ever will!

The trouble is:

1 – they don’t trust what they know,
2 – they don’t know how to explain their experience, and
3 – they can’t figure out (in a vacuum) what they need to DO to become intentional with attending.

As difficult as it may be to sort things out without an executive functioning crutch (that’s you!), the last thing they need is a coach who tries to coach them “by the book” – especially if that book was written by the ADD clue-free.**

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Transformational Rant


Solar Systems & Paradigms

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Men may well be from Mars (and women from Venus), but ADDers and non-ADDers are from two different solar systems!!!

Like the futility of attempting to explain perfect pitch to a person who is tone deaf, conveying our experience of the world to another is hardly something they will ever be able to comprehend at levels much beyond conceptual — if that.

  • How could a person who is able to distinguish pitches perfectly
    ever really understand the hearing of the person who can’t?
  • And how can the person with average musical ability
    ever understand just how annoying that out-of tune piano is
    to the person who can hear every overtone?

One More Level

Let’s take this analogy further.  Would the person with perfect pitch leave it to the tone deaf person to supervise the tuning of the piano?  Of course not!  Nor would she expect her tone deaf partner to notice when the piano needed tuning — or to exclaim joyously when the piano had been tuned.

  • Our musical friend would not waste time and energy explaining repeatedly what to listen for to determine whether the piano needed tuning, or why it was important to her that the piano stay tuned.
  • Her tone deaf partner would not wonder secretly if perfect pitch were real or just an excuse used to justify the money spent on the piano tuner.

Neither would think there was something seriously wrong with the other or their relationship because they were not musically attuned, pardon the pun.

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar for a reminder
of how links work on this site, they’re subtle  ==>

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The Top Ten . . . Things we wish YOU’d stop doing!


by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

Dear and wonderful non-ADD friends and associates –

Color graphic of a stop sign

We know what drives you crazy — really!
We’ve heard about it all our lives.

Even though we don’t do it on purpose,
we’re really sorry,
and we’ll keep workin’ on it.

HOWEVER,  I’ll bet you never realized that some of the things you do and say make it practically impossible for us to give you the very things you say you need to keep you from going crazy.

Did you?

I’ll double the bet that you had no idea that there was
much of anything that YOU do that drives US crazy!

At the risk of being benched by the ADD team, I’m going to let you in on just a few of the things never said to anyone outside our tight-knit ADD circle.  

Don’t shoot the messenger!

xx,
mgh

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The ADD MasterCoach Profile™


— Updated legacy post – original 04/29/98

drawing of graph paper with a jagged line representing up and down values plotted on a graphMeasurements of Mastery

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The ADD MasterCoach Profileis rigorous – daunting, even – but you won’t believe the impact on your practice. 

When you score above 85 on The MasterCoach Profile™, not only will your practice be sustainably full, you will be one of the leaders in the ADD Coaching field and a model for every single coach in the industry.

While there are no real guarantees in this business, working The ADD MasterCoach Profile™ is the closest thing to a guarantee you will find in the coaching field.

There is simply no way you can score well on this Program and not be at the top of the field by any standard you would care to measure.

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HOW to Listen from Belief


Drawing of two smiling figures standing behind a question mark; thought bubbles over their heads: a red X, and a green checkmark

Beneficial Assumptions

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
See Listening from Belief for background & introduction

I’m not big on listening through assumptions of any kind,
generally, but I think you’ll find that filtering your listening
through the following Four Assumptions will help you
greatly, especially if you are viewing life through The ADD Lens™.

 . . . . Remember . . . . Remember . . . . Remember . . . .

1.  Solutions are individual – and relationship – specific.

•  No two ADD/EFDers have the same “flavor”
•  FLAVOR shapes what an individual ADDer can and cannot do personally

2.  Distinctions help bring unreasonable assumptions to consciousness.

•  Take the time to distinguish the terms you find yourself using.
•  Remember to distinguish “can’t” from “won’t”

3.   Real questions have real answers

•  Ask real questions — not indictments ending with question marks
•  Emulate Sherlock Holmes, not Perry Mason
•  Practice Sherlocking until it becomes second nature

4.  The most powerful way to listen to is to listen from belief.

•  Don’t “should” on each other.
 If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t blame the foot!*

—————————-
*mgh’s motto for The Optimal Functioning Institute™

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The ADDCoach JumpStart™ Program


— Updated legacy post – original 04/25/98 —

The ADDCoach JumpStart™ Program

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

silhouette of a man jumping

ADDCoach JumpStart™  identifies and tracks 100 key factors that combine to promote rapid practice building in a manner that is consistent with developing and maintaining a full, rewarding and profitable ADD Coaching practice.

It  gives you a way to quantify your efforts.

JumpStart™ is the initial program of the two practice building programs I developed to support the OFI Associates, the ADD coaches trained through The Optimal Functioning Institute™ during the course of the flagship ADD-specific coach training.

The ADD MasterCoach Profile was designed to take those coaches to the next level.

I also make both Programs available to my private mentor clients and currently use them to help  structure and motivate my Mentor Groups.

Modeled after the brilliant programs developed by one of my first coaching mentors, coaching field founder Thomas J. Leonard for CoachU (now a division ofCoach Inc.), the two programs together are designed to take you from your current coaching level, whatever that is, to ADD Coaching mastery.

Everyone begins with Jumpstart™, moving up to The ADD MasterCoach Profile only when your Jumpstart™ score lets us both know you are ready for it.

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The Art and Science of the ADD Question


Don’t ask, DO tell

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

nicubunu_Broken_heartMy heart breaks when a client whose brain-style is NOT neurotypical tells me about past coaching relationships that haven’t worked out.  

I wish I could tell you that it is rare for me to hear about that sad reality, but that would not be truthful.

As I have continued to say since 1994, the truth of the matter is that coaches who don’t truly understand how to work with the ADD/EFD brain-style – even those who are well known for being highly effective with other types of clients – tend to do more harm than good with clients who have Attentional Spectrum challenges.

While I have empathy for any coach who wonders why they couldn’t be effective with any particular client, my heart shatters when I hear from clients with executive function struggles whose coaches don’t seem to wonder about their own contribution to their client’s struggles.

White cake with white icing (and a cherry on top!)ADD Coaching is not simply ADD icing on a “vanilla” cake!  

No matter how comprehensive your “vanilla” coach training, to coach ADD/EFDers (or ANY client with one of what I refer to as one of the Alphabet Disorders) you simply must Rewrite your Coaching Manual™ with an understanding of how the brain “normally” works, what’s going on when it works differently, and what’s needed to work with clients for whom that is the case.

Line drawing of a person throwing a piece of paper and a huge question mark into a trash can.What you will discover when you do is that there are standard coaching basics that won’t work AT ALL with the neurodiverse.

Never.  Nada!  No way, no how!

No matter what you’ve learned – or how well your vanilla skills work with how many bazillions of non-ADD/EFD clients . . .
you simply MUST throw them out when your client has ADD/EFD/TBI/PTSD – or any OTHER Attentional-spectrum, neuro-diverse component to their make-up.

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If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t blame the foot!


ADDvice Gone Bad

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another article in the Coaching Series

How come nobody asks US?

Isn’t it amazing how many times we’ve been urged to TRY HARDER, to do life better-faster-slower-different – before anyone has really listened to what WE have to say about why it isn’t getting done in an expected fashion?

We wouldn’t dream of asking a child with poor vision to squint her way into focus, yet many of the things asked of us (and that, by extension, we expect ourselves to be able to do) are equally, ridiculously impossible.

As we work together to develop ways to help you
get things done,
let’s start by distinguishing can’t from won’t.

REGARDLESS of what you hear – or have heard – from the ADD/EFD-clue-free:

As you begin working your way through this site, unless you have a solid sense of a belief or a block that is keeping a won’t in place, it will be MUCH more effective to assume that the things you say you want to accomplish but aren’t getting done are can’ts.  

If we start THERE, we can turn those can’ts into CANs.

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The only valid way to LISTEN



Remember
– links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
while you’re reading. They turn
red on mouseover.

Listening from Belief

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

graphic: take-off of the "smileys" emoticon - hand to ear, strong emotion on face that could be disbelief or skepticismI’ve said before and I’ll say it again:
ADD/EFDers have had people trying to “fix” them
all their lives.
(including ALL of the citizens of Alphabet City)

And most of those “fixers” think their own experience of life is valid and useful, and that their ADD buddy merely has to adopt their perspective to be able to function differently — and well!

• You’re running your victim racket again . . .
• Everyone gets distracted, just TELL yourself you CAN pay attention . . .
• It’s all that coffee (sugar, lack of sleep – ANYTHING besides ADD itself)
• You are at the effect of an inaccurate BELIEF

Those comments may well come from a loving intention – most of us understand intellectually that those who claim to love us wish us well and are “only trying to help” – but do you realize how UNloving those comments are in execution?

They’re invalidating. They’re shaming and should-ing all over the place!

What’s worse, they don’t even work:
they produce exactly the opposite of what the person who says them says they want!

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Ten Basic Coaching Skills used most often with ADDers


— Updated legacy post -orig. 11/15/95- by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
LINKS within post are
dark gray to reduce distraction potential; they turn red on mouseover

ADDers have had people trying to “fix” them all their lives: 

Source: behance.net

If you’d listen to your father . . .
“If you’d just get organized . . .”
“If you’d only try . . .”

While those suggestions usually come from a loving intention, they are actually UNloving in execution, most frequently because they collapse won’t with can’t.

At the heart of those ever-so-well-meaning “should-s” is the assumption that all ADDers have to do is make a commitment to willingness and their worlds will shift.

In other words, the underlying belief is that the ADDer could
“if they really wanted to,” and that “all” that is missing is

a high enough degree of “wanting to.”

BALDERDASH!

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About the “Stuff”


Graphic of a happy bookworm on top of a sign in the ground saying, "Fun Stuff"More Good Stuff!

The pages found in this category will consist of short descriptions with links to content housed “offsite” – TeleClasses, Downloads, eBooks, Podcasts, and Class Materials — ALL will be listed on posts in this category.

As I launch this particular site, it sure looks a lot like overkill, doesn’t it?

As the ADDCoach.com family of sites grows, this section will populate. Knowing what’s coming,  I have attempted to separate potential areas of interest so that you won’t have to wade through a long list of stuff to locate a download or a sign-up link to the particular stuff you’re interested in, and you won’t have to remember what lives where!

If you are seeing the excerpt version (grey box only, no list below), as you roll over “Read more of this post” at the end of the box, it will turn dark red (yep, a link to the rest of the page!). Click on it  to view a list of categories, each of which will have a corresponding page.

Descriptions and links will be found on the individual pages listed (as they become available online!)

[If you already see the list below, you will NOT see the link since you can already see the page.]

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