POV | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

Awakening in Wisdom

Thursday, November 29, 2012 15 Comments

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Happy Birthday Wisdom 2012
by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

An entire day entirely mine to spend
– in any way my fancy strikes

For a bit of background and context, click on: Happy Birthday Lessons –
on a less serious note, check out ADDerWorld for today’s contribution to my personal blog: Actuating Accomplishment – Bring on the BOYS!

For my birthday every year, for some time now, I have given myself the gift of an accountability-free day.

I don’t force myself to be responsible for a single solitary thing from the moment the clock strikes midnight on November 28th until whatever time I finally fade into oblivion the following night — or morning after, as it generally turns out to be.

If I don’t want to wash my face or brush my hair, I don’t.

I may – or may not – wander into the hall of my apartment building
to see if any deliveries await.

My cell phone usually remains on the charger on the shelf above my computer – another room, another world away from anywhere I am
more likely to perch on my birthday.

Just for today, email ROTS, for all I care.

I only do what I WANT to do.

And here I am, blogging! What a delightful surprise.

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Filed under A. Hopefully Helpful , G3. ADD Coaching Secrets, G5c. Rewrite your Owners Manual™ Tagged with ADDCoaching, Authentic Engagement, Birthday, Coaching, Distinctions, Holiday, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, maiden-mother-crone, Personal development, POV, wisdom

Of Bribery and Labels

Monday, November 12, 2012 Leave a comment

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Reframing the Bribery Label

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

If you’ve been reading this blog for very long, you know how much I sincerely dislike labeling of any kind — especially those labels that come from personal opinion (the kind that seem to squeak right under our conscious “judgment” radar the moment a label slips into common usage).

The labeling category is where the term “bribery” falls for me, and this article is my attempt to reframe it before it slides across the line into the make-wrong category.

Make-wrong is a term used in the coaching community to refer to judgments that might as well be saying, “Anybody sane knows there is a right and a wrong way to do life, and this communication identifies an item on THE unacceptable list” (in contrast to one’s personal unacceptable list).

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Filed under A3. Linking & Learning, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B1. ADDCoach Terms & Tools Tagged with Bribery, denotation and connotation, Distinctions, explanation, Labeling theory, Linguistics, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, make-wrong, Motivation, POV

PLEASE DO NOT BUY

Friday, February 17, 2012 3 Comments

An open letter to my readers and the advertisers I just realized are using this site to promote their products:

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I author a no-fee WordPress Blog on WordPress.com

I can’t opt out of your ads – I get that.

Your right to [attempt to] sell to me exceeds my rights in total. I get that.

You’ve PAID for the privilege.

Our world has devolved to the place where cash is king.

I must learn to live with that, regardless of my personal feelings about it.

My personal dollars have now become my ONLY personal votes.
My only choice is where I choose to spend them.

I will not buy products from obnoxious advertisers. EVER.

A boycott of ONE, joined by others, which may well build to an internet movement if you and the companies you include in your means of making a profit don’t heed the warning of my words.

I can also purchase and use the products and services of advertisers who deserve my patronage as an acknowledgment of their respect for me and for the value of the time and attention of my readers. Until I can afford to out-BUY you, those are my ONLY options.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2a. Rants; Ruminations, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with AdSense, Advertising, Baby boomer, boycott, cognitive focus, intentionality, lack of respect, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, open letter, POV, What Kind of World series, WordPress.com

Heartbreaking New York Times ADD Article

Thursday, February 9, 2012 26 Comments

Don’t Drink the Kool-ade

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Another wonderful graphic courtesy of aritist/educator Phillip Martin

“Ritalin, like all medications, can be useful when used properly and dangerous when used improperly. Why is it so difficult for so many people to hold to that middle ground?”
~ Dr. Edward Hallowell

Regarding the opinion piece “Ritalin Gone Wrong” by Alan Sroufe, Ph.D.
(NY Times, Jan. 29, 2012):

• You don’t have to believe in medication.
• You don’t have to take it.
• You don’t have to give it to your kids.

You don’t EVEN have to do unbiased research before you ring in with an opinion on medication or anything else having to do with ADD/ADHD.

HOWEVER, when you’re writing a piece to be published in a newspaper with the stature of The New York Times, it is simply unprofessional – of the writer, the editors, and the paper itself — to publish personal OPINION in a manner that will lead many to conclude that the piece quotes scientific fact.

For a rebuttal, please take the time to read Dr. Hallowell’s blog article in response to Sroufe (linked to his quote, above, and in the “related content” list below). Nothing I could say along those lines could be nearly as eloquent or effective – or charge neutral – as his words.

This post will take another tact, just as soon as I get my feelings off my chest.

I’m appalled. And bitterly disappointed in what I have always
considered MY hometown paper, regardless of where else in
the United States I lay me down to sleep.

What Happened to the Times?

It’s ironic that this recent article appears in the very paper where, on October 11, 1987, an article in their Magazine Section led to my own diagnosis — and the medication that saved my life.

The day I discovered that article that altered the trajectory of my being forever, I had just spent an hour on the telephone with my best friend Robin, a therapist, sobbing hysterically because my latest attempt to organize my office created such chaos that I found myself in the middle of the room holding a sheet of paper with, literally, no clear space to put it down.

I had, as I’ve learned to describe it, “Boggled.” Action was impossible. My whole being was on “TILT,” to use an old pinball term. I was finally desperate enough to stop trying to look good and tell the truth about what life was like for me.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2. Making a Difference, E2a. Rants; Ruminations Tagged with ADD perspective, Edward Hallowell, Frank Wolkenberg, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, New York Times, Phillip Martin - artist, POV, RITALIN, Ritalin Gone Wrong, Thomas J. Leonard

Finishing what you Start

Wednesday, January 25, 2012 Leave a comment

Linears and Holographics

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

ALL Kinds of Minds

Tortoises and Hares

Detailers and Concepters

Prioritize First vs. Do it NOW

DECIDE and Do vs. Go with the Flow

WHY won’t they LISTEN?

We humans are funny critters. We want everybody to do everything OUR way.

Secretly, we sincerely believe that whatever we have figured out effectively for our own lives would transfer to anyone else’s – if they’d DO IT RIGHT!

THIER problems would magically disappear with OUR solution,
IF ONLY they’d:

try hard enough

give it enought time to become habitual

“want to” badly enough

stop resisting

or procrastinating

– or really wanted a solution and not simply a chance to complain!

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Filed under A5. Tips, Tricks & Techniques, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, G2. Rewrite Your Coaching Manual, H. Brain Based Coaching/Training Tagged with ADD perspective, ADDCoaching, boundary management, Jungian, Kate Kelly Prayer Circle, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Perspecitves, POV, Procrastination, Robert Johnson, task completion, Tips & Tricks, Tortoise & Hare

Homage to Kate Kelly

Saturday, January 21, 2012 3 Comments

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

A bit of background on the article below Saturday, January 21, 2012 – 2 AM

UPDATE Sunday-2/19/12

For anyone who hasn’t already heard, dear friend, ADD Coaching colleague, and Interfaith Minister Kate Kelly was in Christ Hospital in Cincinnati when I wrote the article below. She is now recuperating at home, between rounds of chemo for what turned out to be renal shutdown due to a mass in her bladder, which turned out to be cancer.

After a very scary couple of weeks in January, we’re as certain as man is allowed to be about these things that she will ultimately be fine, but her body’s got a bumpy road ahead to carry her to glowing health once again. (This all serves as background for the insight which was the reason for this post – be patient, or scroll down for Small Blessings).

——————————————————————————————————

Even if you think you don’t know Kate, you probably know OF her. I’ll bet you’ve read the ADD classic Kate and co-author Peggy Ramundo wrote.

Do yourself a favor and beg, borrow or buy a copy now if you haven’t already read it – this is one you will definitely want in your ADD library.

If you already have one in your library, and can afford it, buy a brand-new copy as a gift for a friend or to donate to your public library or local Youth Group.

Not only will you be saving somebody’s quality of life, you will be offering support to Kate in a very practical fashion. Cancer-care is EXPENSIVE, and book royalties will probably be her primary source of income for some time to come. Any published author will tell you that the authors see VERY little of the price of each book sold. So let’s put it on the Best Seller’s List together.

Peggy Ramundo is another dear friend, with whom I am working on the ADD in the Spirit Coach Training. Peggy and I have already been dervishes in the past month, setting aside nearly everything else to get materials fluffed by deadline for our presention at the upcoming March ACO Conference in Atlanta. Our session together expands upon the importance of spiritual coaching concepts in a field as pragmatics-focused as ADD Coaching.

Before we had time to refocus on day-to-day work objectives, Kate took a sudden turn for the worse. We have practically lived at the hospital since Kate was taken by ambulance to the Christ Hospital’s Emergency Room, over a week ago. If you missed me, that’s where I’ve been!

So, in 2012, I’ve barely had time to edit drafts of older content to post here, much less time to write anything new! Since it’s likely to be another week or so before I am able to resume anything resembling my “normal” schedule — and then comes catch-up – I believe I’ve come up with a novel way to fit it all in: blogging about my hospital insights (very big grin).

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Filed under A5d. Black & White Thinking, A5f. Organization & Task Completion, E2b. Midnight Musings, E2c. ADD Community Support Tagged with ACO-ADHD Coaches Organization, ADDCoaching, CaringBridge, Christ Hospital, Kate Kelly Prayer Circle, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Personal development, Perspecitves, POV

Happy Birthday Lessons

Wednesday, November 30, 2011 6 Comments

Rediscovering Authentic Engagement
by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

A bit of background for context:

I was the oldest of five children, born at 8:18 in the morning on November 29th. My father, a military scientist, was born on November 20. My four siblings had the good sense to be born in the Spring and Summer.

I need to mention that moving was a major player in my young life - new kid, new school - practically every solitary year of my life until I was out of Junior High. My father was generally “somewhere else” working on a project we were rarely even allowed to ask questions about.

Think about that for a moment.

Every single year FOR SIXTEEN YEARS, in the absence of any significant assistance, my mother had to pack, house-hunt, unpack, set up a home, AND do what Moms generally do to run seven-person households otherwise (which included, of course, providing the spit and sparkle for all holidays and six birthdays).

I GET IT. I did then.

Nonetheless, the child I was couldn’t help but notice that HER birthday was always a bit of an also-ran, coming as it did between her Daddy’s, Thanksgiving and Christmas — following a year full of everything I’ve just mentioned.

I was one of those eerily mature children who would cut out her tongue rather than make her mother feel terrible for anything, since I could see clearly that she lived on the brink of total collapse as a result of everything she was ALREADY doing.

I always responded with a sincere thank you on receipt of the “This is for your birthday and Christmas” presents that tended to come my way.

Don’t Cry for Me Argentina

Lest I make myself out to be some little Queen-for-A-Day Match Girl, let me explain that these were generally GREAT presents – more spectacular, bigger ticket items than I might have gotten otherwise. I realized THAT at the time, too.

However, the other kids got the whole birthday magilla on their special days. That tends to matter at that point in time, regardless of the maturity level of the kid who, for many years, received the big present that spanned two holidays.

So my Higher Self stepped in to PROMISE the little girl that I was that she was earning the right to make a HUGE deal out of her birthday every single year, once she was in charge of the celebration herself.

And so I have.

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The Goose Story

Tuesday, August 23, 2011 Leave a comment

Click HERE for Part One: ABOUT Values and the Goose Story

The Goose Story
by Dr. Harry Clarke Noyes

Next fall,
when you see Geese
heading South for the Winter,
flying along in V formation,
you might consider
what science has discovered
as to why they fly that way:

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B1. ADDCoach Terms & Tools Tagged with ADDCoaching, Community Support, Cooperation, Motivational, POV

Creating Community Together

Monday, July 4, 2011 6 Comments

What Goes Around Comes Around

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

When I began my own ADD journey, many things were very different: many were “worse” — but a few seemed much “better.”

One of the things I miss most is the closeness of the community “back in the day” when it was not so widespread.

Anyone who has read The Goose Story** on my first website surely knows how VERY much I value community — and how “aggressively” I define that term. Leading the charge toward its creation has been a spiritual calling — a mission, if you will.

It has been a real heartbreaker to watch the ADD Coaching field I gave up so much to build devolve into what often feels more like a competition than a community - battle of the coach trainings, battle of the websites, battle of the tips and tricks, battle of the treatment approaches, battle of the etiologies – even a battle between various approaches toward coaching in general and ADD Coaching in particular.

I’m hoping that what is beginning to emerge more and more lately portends more of a “coopetition” that means that others are a battle-weary as I.

Yes, we must each take care of paying our bills and supporting our families with what we do with some of the minutes of our lives.

But I have always believed that we would ALL have an easier time of that particular objective by joining forces, rather than “competing for market share.” How about you?

Co-creating the Kind of World We Want

I plan to add to this post with others on the same topic;
I invite those of you with similar views to lift your voices with mine.

Let’s work together for the mutual good of our communities and our planet – becoming resources for each other because it is simply the right thing to do – meaning the thing that will create the kind of world we want – a world that works for EVERYONE.

In addition to blogging about it, I plan to throw my own “shoulder to the wheel” of like-minded individuals in a practical fashion as well – by helping to publicize what they are doing in a number of ways, beginning with the following actions:
——————————–
**If you are NOT familiar with Noyes’ free-verse poem, it’s really worth a look – click on it’s title (above, with the stars), and a new window will open to give you a chance to read it. VERY inspiring!

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2. Making a Difference, E2a. Rants; Ruminations, E2c. ADD Community Support Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADDCoaching, Attention, Coaching, Community Support, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, POV

Transformational Rant

Saturday, April 23, 2011 Leave a comment

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Solar Systems & Paradigms

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Men may well be from Mars (and women from Venus), but ADDers and non-ADDers are from two different solar systems!!!

Like the futility of attempting to explain perfect pitch to a person who is tone deaf, conveying our experience of the world to another is hardly something they will ever be able to comprehend at levels much beyond conceptual – if that.

How could a person who is able to distinguish pitches perfectly
ever really understand the hearing of the person who can’t?

And how can the person with average musical ability
ever understand just how annoying that out-of tune piano is
to the person who can hear every overtone?

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2a. Rants; Ruminations Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD perspective, ADDspectrum, POV, What Kind of World series

The Top Ten . . . Things we wish YOU’d stop doing!

Thursday, April 21, 2011 6 Comments

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Dear and wonderful non-ADD friends and associates -

We know what drives you crazy — really!
We’ve heard about it all our lives.
Even though we don’t do it on purpose,
we’re really sorry,
and we’ll keep workin’ on it.

HOWEVER, I’ll bet you never realized that some of the things you do and say make it practically impossible for us to give you the very things you say you need to keep you from going crazy.

Did you?

I’ll double the bet that you had no idea that there was much of anything that YOU do that drives US crazy!

At the risk of being benched by the ADD team, I’m going to let you in on just a few of the things never said to anyone outside our tight-knit ADD circle.

Don’t shoot the messenger!

xx,
mgh
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Filed under E2a. Rants; Ruminations, F. You Play Too , F1. ADD Top Tens Tagged with ADD perspective, ADDCoaching, ADD_Top10, explanation, POV

Menage a Moi

Tuesday, March 1, 2011 4 Comments

This article is a brief, light-hearted “About Me”
– for something that reads more like a vitae,
CLICK HERE for my Trainer Bio

The ADD Poster Girl says Hello World!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I’m a fascinating woman. Really. I can jump inside my brain and fascinate myself for hours of eternal NOW. Mentalist and empath, visionary and myopic, the sanest person I’ve ever met with the craziest life: a self-aware, self-assured stuttering wonder of more-than-a-mess.

In the days when I was a New York actor/director, my agent once described me to a casting director as a woman who could probably run Bloomingdales all by herself.

And I probably could – if only I could find my left shoe – and the keys that were right here in my hand a single step ago . . . and something to wear with the only pair of pants that aren’t in the hamper, since I can’t wear a skirted suit when I haven’t a solitary pair of stockings without a serious run.

If my mother had married for money instead of love I could have been more than a contender: I’d have a staff. I mean, one besides the gaggle inside my brain, intent on dressing me, feeding me, grooming me, scheduling me, reminding me and amusing me in simulcast.

I think they drove the butler mad; no one seems to be in charge.

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Filed under E. MGH Funhouse, E1. Whimsy Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD perspective, ADDCoaching, ADDhumor, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, POV

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

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Reframing the Bribery Label

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

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An open letter to my readers and the advertisers I just realized are using this site to promote their products:

You’ve PAID for the privilege.

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

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What Happened to the Times?

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ALL Kinds of Minds

WHY won’t they LISTEN?

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A bit of background on the article below Saturday, January 21, 2012 – 2 AM

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

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Rediscovering Authentic Engagement by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

A bit of background for context:

Think about that for a moment.

Don’t Cry for Me Argentina

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

Like this:

The Goose Story by Dr. Harry Clarke Noyes

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What Goes Around Comes Around

Co-creating the Kind of World We Want

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Solar Systems & Paradigms

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

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Dear and wonderful non-ADD friends and associates -

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

Like this:

The ADD Poster Girl says Hello World!

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

Like this:

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Big Time Appreciation!!

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Reframing the Bribery Label

**What Happened to the Times?**

Rediscovering Authentic Engagement
by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The Goose Story
by Dr. Harry Clarke Noyes