Happy Birthday Lessons
Wednesday, November 30, 2011 2 Comments
Rediscovering Authentic Engagement
A bit of background for context:
I was the oldest of five children, born at 8:18 in the morning on November 29th. My father, a military scientist, was born on November 20. My four siblings had the good sense to be born in the Spring and Summer.
I need to mention that moving was a major player in my young life - new kid, new school - practically every solitary year of my life until I was out of Junior High. My father was generally “somewhere else” working on a project we were rarely even allowed to ask questions about.
Think about that for a moment.
Every single year FOR SIXTEEN YEARS, in the absence of any significant assistance, my mother had to pack, house-hunt, unpack, set up a home, AND do what Moms generally do to run seven-person households otherwise (which included, of course, providing the spit and sparkle for all holidays and six birthdays).
I GET IT. I did then.
Nonetheless, the child I was couldn’t help but notice that HER birthday was always a bit of an also-ran, coming as it did between her Daddy’s, Thanksgiving and Christmas — following a year full of everything I’ve just mentioned.
I was one of those eerily mature children who would cut out her tongue rather than make her mother feel terrible for anything, since I could see clearly that she lived on the brink of total collapse as a result of everything she was ALREADY doing.
I always responded with a sincere thank you on receipt of the “This is for your birthday and Christmas” presents that tended to come my way.
Don’t Cry for Me Argentina
Lest I make myself out to be some little Queen-for-A-Day Match Girl, let me explain that these were generally GREAT presents – more spectacular, bigger ticket items that I might have gotten otherwise. I realized THAT at the time, too.
However, the other kids got the whole birthday magilla on their special days. That tends to matter at that point in time, regardless of the maturity level of the kid who, for many years, received the big present that spanned two holidays.
So my Higher Self stepped in to PROMISE the little girl that I was that she was earning the right to make a HUGE deal out of her birthday every single year, once she was in charge of the celebration herself.
And so I have.
