AHAs! and DUHs! — HUH?


GlossaryHead2

 

I could’a had a V-8!
They don’t SAY “duh!” — but they might as well have

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for bookpage

click image for bookpage

Duh!s and Aha!s

Aha!s (as a group – the plural of Aha! used as a noun) seem to have worked their way into the blogging mainstream. 

Duh! not so much — even though it will probably turn out to be the more useful of the two (at least it will if you adopt the manner in which I encourage you to reframe its meaning).

You’ll run into it aha!s all over the web — so let’s begin with the concept that’s not quite so common.

Duh!

Usually used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid (like “I left the keys in the ignition – duh!“), or in response to a statement perceived as obvious. The coaching reframe is used as a distinction, and lets us all off the stupid hook. 

I want to encourage the use of the term as a light-hearted reminder that knowledge is a term meaning little more than a holding tank of information provided or discovered.

None of us are born knowing everything we need to know – even the Einsteins among us. 

  • We learn it when we learn it, and not one moment sooner.
  • Let’s take the shame off “not knowing” so that learning becomes fun again.

The ADDCoach Coaching duh! used to lighten the mood following a sudden realization or understanding of a concept or procedure that the person with the insight might otherwise be tempted to believe should have been obvious;

A good-humored reminder that all learning is a good thing – once clarified, duh!s underscore how the understanding of one simple thing can change how an individual thinks about things or tackle tasks from that point forward.

© from Madelyn Griffith-Haynie’s upcoming Coaching Glossary

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So Who’s Ready for ACO 2014?


ACO Conference 2014 — May 2-4
Pre-Conference Sessions May 1

The Phoenix Airport Marriott

The Phoenix Airport Marriott

It’s almost here -
will I see YOU there?

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Planning, Laundry, Packing, Rushing!

It’s almost time to leave for the 2014 ACO Conference, this year in Phoenix!
Ill be flying out of Cincinnati early Wednesday evening – April 30, 2014.

Yiikes!  There are only a few weeks left! Are you ready? 
(Have you even registered yet?)

  • The pre-conference is Thursday – hey, that’s May Day! - with the opening reception that night.
  • The Conference proper begins bright and e-a-r-l-y on Friday, May 2nd
  • The final sessions conclude around lunch-time on Sunday, May 4th

So much to do, so little time!

stuffedSuitcaseAfter packing and repacking all night for last year’s ACO Conference, unable to streamline my travel wardrobe enough to get it into one single suitcase, I finally had to give up and go to BED.

Colleague and business partner Peggy Ramundo and I were scheduled to leave Cincinnati in mere hours!

Atlanta seemed close enough for a girls-on-a-road-trip, so we decided to go for it. Since there was room in the car, I allowed myself to take w-a-y too much stuff. BAD idea.

It turned out to be significant hassle at the other end.

  • The the hotel forced us to switch rooms mid-conference
    “due to technical difficulties” (don’t even ask!) 
  • So I had to pack it all up and take it on the road again — knowing that I would have to do it one more time at the end of the conference.  (So how late IS late check-out?)

What IS it about going away that makes it so difficult to
decide what to wear?

So many possibilities, so little room in the suitcase
(I’m convinced that it’s gotta’ be figuring out the shoes.)

Isn’t that JUST the ADD way?

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ABOUT Distinctions & Definitions


Defining our Terms
Learning when and why they’re useful

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Introducing the Distinctions & Definitions Series

click image for source - in a new window/tab

click image for source – in a new window/tab

Through the years I’ve become known for my love affair with words and, to my clients and students, for my facility with definitions and distinctions.  I truly love the specificity of the English language — and I like to share.

ADDandSoMuchMore.com regulars have probably noticed that more than a few of my articles offer, in addition to the content of the articles themselves, a definition of a term or two that I’m not sure all of you will find familiar.

I also tend to explain terms that I have coined — especially those that have become part of the ADD Coaching lexicon. These include words and terms we coaches use in a manner that is slightly unfamiliar, inviting consciousness to the conversation.

Occasionally I offer a definition of a word or a term I have coined that has not been adopted by the ADD Coaching field in general — those that I use in my writings, or in the coach trainings and other groups and classes that I offer from time to time.

For example:

Alphabet City – Note the slightly lighter color of that term, by the way – more dark grey than the black of the text that follows.  That’s because it is a link, in this case to the article that explains the “Alphabet Disorders” concept.

Unless you choose to focus there, it remains quietly out of the way of your thoughts as you follow mine.

Place your cursor over the link (but don’t click) and watch what happens. 

Did you hover long enough to see a little box pop up with a bit of information about what to expect when you click?

THAT’s how the links work on this site, for those of you who haven’t read the explanation on the skinny sidebar, always there to remind you  ====>

Most links on ADDandSoMuchMore.com open in windows or tabs of their own, so that what you were reading before you clicked awaits your return exactly where you left it. No need to search for some glimmer of recall that might remain frustratingly illusive.

Anyway . . .  some of you may dimly remember seeing, at the top or bottom of a particular definition, something like the text below:

© From my upcoming ADD Coaching Glossary

I’ll bet you’re waiting for my definition of “upcoming”

UNTIL my dominant hand was smashed in a mugging, leaving hand and forearm cast-immobilized and my ability to type or do much of anything at all dead in the water for almost three months, I was on-schedule to announce a publication date this year

Now three months behind on everything, to maintain what’s left of my sanity I have decided I must push this particular project down on my to-list, postponing publication until 2015.

So I want to tell you how I’m going to handle sharing definitions and distinctions meanwhile.

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Top Ten LOUSY Product Designs & other nutsy things


Doesn’t Anybody TEST Anymore?
(or maybe they don’t use their own stuff?)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Top Ten Series

TEN of my [least] Favorite Things

A drawing of a woman surrounded by stuff - a rocking horse, a floor lamp, a trunk, a bowl & pitcher, a painting - wearing a hat with a price tag still attached
Life is frustrating enough for those of us with Alphabet Disorders (ADD / EFD / TBI / OCD / etc)

It’s adding insult to injury to expect us to PAY for lousy design that makes things harder still.

We can’t even boycott most of the time, because there are so few alternatives.  Whatever happened to “Form follows FUNCTION????”

Hate to be a hater, but . . .

COME ON! It simply can’t be the GOAL to frustrate the @#$& out of one’s customer base, or can it?

Scroll on down to check out what makes ME crazy (er!) — and I know I’m not the only one.  Let’s all get together and hang the perpetrators in effigy.

JUST in case you are starting to think I am getting grumpy in my old age, you can always jump over to my list of Top Ten Products I wouldn’t want to live without.  (I also say nice things in MORE Top Ten Products)

Down below – in the comments section – add your own “favorite” hatefuls – after you’ve primed your pump by reading about ten of mine.

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Changing a habit to change your LIFE


Habit Formation Pragmatics
(Like, how LONG do we have to do something before it becomes a habit?)

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Time & Task Management Series:
Habits, Decisions & Attention-3

Out with the old, IN with the new . . .

ExerciseHabit

Click photo for source

“Everybody knows” that, according to established learning theory, it takes approximately thirty days of daily practice for a new behavior to become a habit. Right?

WRONG!

Google will tell you that it takes somewhere between 21 and 28 days. Various blogs and websites will cite various numbers, somewhere between three weeks (21 days) and five weeks (35 days).

Did you know that, until 2009, there had been
no scientific evidence for anybody’s numbers.

The 21-day myth that reputedly started the process of conjecture is frequently blamed on a plastic surgeon, Dr Maxwell Maltz.

Maltz noted that amputees took, on average, 21 days to adjust to the loss of a limb.  He proposed that his 21-day observation indicated that people would probably take 21 days to adjust to most major life changes.

In 1960, Maltz published that observation, his conjecture, and his other thoughts on behavior change in the blockbuster hit Psycho-Cybernetics.

That particular book, selling over 30 Million copies, greatly influenced most of the motivational speakers in the “self-help” field. Well known authors and gurus like Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins (even Zig Ziglar) have frequently made reference to content from Psycho-Cybernetics.

The reality that Maltz actually reported that it takes “a minimum of about 21 days” got lost as more and more people repeated content from his book, whether they’d actually read the book themselves or not.

Before long the relative became repeated as an absolute:
“It takes 21 days to form a new habit.”

  • Enter the age of the Internet and the popularity of blogs and blogging, and repetition was substituted for research.
  • Codicils to the process of habit formation were tacked on, and the time-frame was lengthened by a week.
  • Evidence to the contrary was dismissed, usually by saying that if the individual didn’t repeat the exact same action for thirty days without exception, it wouldn’t work unless s/he started over again – that it had to be thirty days in a row.

I’ve been guilty of passing that myth along myself – usually adding that “it takes those of us with Alphabet Disorders longer to get those thirty days IN!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.”

~ Anatole France
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only in 2009 did anybody publish the results of a STUDY of habit formation — reinstating its relativity and disclosing an average almost three times higher than what was commonly reported.

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Coaching the Easter Bunny – when help hurts


EBA Client’s Story
(With Permission)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I usually use pseudonyms in my client examples to protect client confidentiality.  When I DO use a real name, it is always with client permission – the Bunny himself has vetted this post.

How it happened

The Easter Bunny was one of my first clients, way back when coaching itself was a budding profession. (Oh, you’re a coach.  What sport?) 

This was before I founded The Optimal Functioning Institute™ — even before I began taking registrations for the first group to go through the A.C.T. program, the ADD-specific coaching curriculum I designed that launched the the entire ADD Coaching field.

At that time I was one of the very few coaches on the planet at all, and one of the fewer still who understood how to work with ADD.  So that’s the reason the Easter Bunny found his way to me. Now you might assume from that explanation that EB, as he is known to his friends, hired me to help with his own struggles with ADD

Seriously, a bunny delivering baskets of colored, hard-boiled eggs? YEARLY!? To every kid in America? One would suspect AD“H”D.

But one would be wrong.

He came for Mentor Coaching, hoping to learn how to help someone else — his business partner and very best friend in the whole wide world (who has ADD, possibly with anxiety comorbid).

BECAUSE his very best friend was no longer speaking to him — due to an incident that could have been avoided if EB had only come to me sooner.

He agreed to full disclosure of his story so that none of you would make the same mistake with someone you love (because that’s just the kind of hare he is).

A Strange Duo

It’s essential that you understand from the start that EB’s best friend is a real chicken.  No, really – a chicken (like the kind that lay eggs, right?)

In fact, the whole colored egg thing was his best friend’s idea to begin with.  He needed EB’s help since most of the chickens he knew were armless types, and the whole idea just took off from there.

Eventually it became a Big Magilla production — with an entire fleet of bunnies collecting eggs, hard-boiling eggs, coloring eggs, putting eggs and grass in baskets, and helping with deliveries.  (I mean, they’re EGGS, right?  They go bad — it’s not like they could stockpile.)

Another interesting fact you may not know is that Big Magilla was the very first company on the planet that was completely integrated. They have actively recruited both chickens and bunnies since inception, male and female, young and old — regardless of breeding, color or markings.

Where gender equality is concerned the bunny brigade has a pristine record but, for obvious reasons, the chicken cadre is primarily female — not really discriminatory since the ability to lay is what they call an essential job skill.

They employ the elderly, handicapped and mentally impaired mostly in the basket department – which has turned out to be a wonderful idea.  Some of the most talented and industrious basket weavers in America work for Magilla.

The kids are interns – grass cultivation and packaging mostly.

All things considered, it is a very forward-thinking business model.  But when one of the founding partners isn’t speaking to the other, that’s a crisis that needs a turn-around coach.

That’s when EB found an early Trainer-Team listing on the CoachU website and decided to hire me.

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Brain-based Habit Formation


Habits and the Dopamine Pleasure/Reward Cycle
(change your habits, change your LIFE)

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Time & Task Management Series:
Habits, Decisions & Attention-2

The Power of HABIT

Click book cover to read excerpt

Click book cover to read excerpt

Charles Duhigg, in an award-winning book entitled The Power of Habit, published in 2012, reminds us that transforming a habit is rarely easy, quick, or simple — but it is POSSIBLE.

I’ll go him one further.

As long as you will follow a simple 4-step procedure as you set your habits in place according to what science has learned about how the brain works, it is PROBABLE!

Now that science understands more about how patterns and pattern-recognition impact the the human brain (a pattern-recognition “machine,” after all), it is possible for any one of us to transform our entire lives through the power of habit.

In other words, we now know why habits develop, how they change, and how to build and rebuild them to our exact specifications — and feel GREAT about doing it.

Yea verily – even those of us who are citizens of Alphabet City can take advantage of the power of habit to change our experience of living.

What’s Possible?

Click the book jacket above to read a brief excerpt on the NPR site that tells the story of an small-town army major, a self-described “hick from Georgia” who almost single-handedly stopped a pattern of escalating riots in an Iraqi village, simply by analyzing the patterns that produced “the riot habit” and making ONE fundamental tweak.

“Understanding habits is the most important thing I’ve learned in the army,” the major in the excerpt linked above discloses. “It’s changed everything about how I see the world.”

  • What might be possible in YOUR life if you understood what the major knows about the neurology and psychology of habits and the way patterns work within our lives, businesses, and social groups?
  • What if you understood how to apply what you’ve read here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com about the needs of neurodiversity to the neurotypical advice about motivation and habit formation — so that you could tweak the “standard” information that dominates the info-market to make it all work for YOU?

Take a moment to really think about THIS:

What might your life look like one short year from now if you actually applied what you learned here, step by step?

  • Would you be healthier?  Wealthier?  Happier with your marriage and family life?
  • Would you finally find the time to write that novel, or start that new business, or to take the necessary steps to move into that lakeside house you’ve always dreamed about?
  • What WOULD you do, tweaking the old expression slightly, if you understood how to set it up so that you could not fail?

That’s exactly what this Series is offering you – right here and at no charge what-so-ever until January 2015, when it will become available only in a paid format by eBook subscription.

For those of you who want to add velocity to your progress (or who need the structure of a little nudging along the way), I will soon be announcing a TeleClass that will expand on the principles offered for free, and serve as a MasterMind Group to keep you going — but I’m getting WAY ahead of myself here.

For right now, keep reading — and do the exercises that will be included as we move through the articles that explain the dynamics and outline the process.  Take advantage of this opportunity while its still free for the taking.

I’ll be working right along with you as I recover from the mugging incident last December, and redesign my own life.

So let’s get to work.  What’s going on in that brain of ours that keeps rotten habits in place, and how can we use that understanding to transform our lives?

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BraveHeart Award!


BraveHeartBadge

Another Cool Blogging Award!!

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The Brave Heart Award – an award for Survivors

I am honored to have been nominated by former award-winner Louise Collins, who is a truly brave and amazingly forthcoming survivor of so many different events and conditions in her young life that it boggles the mind.

Like many of us, she blogs to help others feel less alone, to process her feelings about what she is living through, and to make sense of the emotional (and functional) effects that she continues to experience.

Please have a look at ABOUT ME on IllicitbyNature for her own own description of who she is and what she is attempting to process.  Her words are inspiring and will be helpful to many of you, especially those struggling with depression or PTSD. (be sure to remember to “like” or comment, so she’ll know you were there)

Her homepage can be found by clicking http://www.http://illicitbynature.com/ which will open in a new tab (or window, depending on the settings on YOUR web-browser)

Conditions of Acceptance

To accept the award, I had to complete a number of tasks, beginning with those immediately below (more info further down):

  1. Thank the person who nominated me.
  2. Answer a list of twelve questions – which you will be able to read below, along with my answers
  3. Pass the acknowledgment on by nominating twelve additional blogs, none of whom have been nominated before.
  4. Notify my nominees that I have nominated them and share their names with links to their blogs on my blog
    (my list of nominees is further down – keep scrolling – along with the instructions needed to be able to accept the nomination)
  5. Include the Quote below with the notification of nomination

which I formatted to be ADD-friendly – shorter paragraphs and slightly adapted — to be able to nominate those dealing primarily with the chronic abuse that comes as a result of being diagnosed with one of the Alphabet Disorders – ADD, TBI, OCD, PDD, PDA etc.- abuse that results from the actions and comments from the many who simply don’t understand.

The original version contained the word “abuse” alone, which has a more specific meaning to those who have been physically or sexually abused – or to those diagnosed with PTSD. (copied further down without modification)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are losing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong.

I want you to know that any abuse you experience as a result of your diagnosis is not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse.

In your life, you have faced many demons, but look around you and you will see there is hope and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope.

You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone. Stand Strong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Habits, Decisions and Attention


Why Crazy/Busy People NEED Habits
. . . Making friends with setting them in place to serve you

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Time & Task Management Series:
Habits, Decisions & Attention-1

Another adorable Phillip Martin graphic

Another adorable Phillip Martin graphic

Say hello to the HABIT habit!

It seems to me that every March tends to be “habits” month around the blog-o-sphere. Good habits, rotten habits, lapsed habits; developing new habits, tweaking old habits, breaking bad habits – I always seem to run into a bunch of “habit” posts every March.

Why is that?

I’m guessing it’s because there’s been just enough time since New Years for practically everyone to have fallen off the Resolutions Wagon — except, that is, for the few disciplined and rare individuals who made it a point to develop new HABITS as structures to support their new goals.

Or maybe its just me. In any case, let’s jump on the bandwagon and explore the topic for a bit – starting with taking a stab at defining the term.

HABITS are actions or behaviors performed regularly and automatically – usually on a pre-determined schedule – bypassing the necessity of much real-time decision-making agita (and without a great deal of activation energy required).

Once we have developed a habit, we “just do it” – primarily because we have done it repeatedly in the past, usually in response to some sort of prompt that triggers the behavior, setting us up for a life that runs about as smoothly as life ever runs.

So how come we resist developing them?

Let’s face it – doing something repeatedly (and regularly) eventually activates our “I don’t wanna’-s.”  We like to think we prefer to hang looser with life — even though we’re not crazy about reeling from the chaotic state that living structure-free usually creates.

  • Putting things off until they reach some sort of crises point isn’t really a great system for grown-ups.  But deciding when and how to work everything we need and want to do into our crazy/busy lives is tough — especially for those of us with activation or transition troubles.
  • Having to negotiate timing, self-to-self, is annoying, yet do-it-now is seldom convenient.
  • Until the habit is in place, we have to decide to “make” ourselves do things, day after day after . . . I’m really not in the mood today!

Then there’s the parent trap. Since many of what could be excellent habits NOW were foisted upon us as children, some of us have not treated those habits with the appreciation they deserve as a result.

  • Those of us who didn’t have the good sense to hang on to many of the habits our parents tried to instill in us have been making life harder than it needs to be.
  • Trust me – it took me YEARS to get over my “nobody tells me what to do now that I’m on my own” unconscious teenaged rebellion.  When I finally wised up, it took me a few years more to put those habits back in place.

Let me clue you in on what I learned:  The neurodiverse can’t afford NOT to put habits in place.

  • There’s not enough time in anybody’s life to DECIDE about every little detail of life here on this strangely ordered planet the neurotypicals have set up where all of us are forced to live.
  • Especially not the way the ADD-brainstyle goes about deciding — agonizing for days as our brains search the known universe to make sure we consider every possible parameter of possibility first!!
  • If you’re a member of team ADD/EFD – or seem to get stuck (or simply worn down and worn out) by having to make too many decisions – it makes sense to try to expend as little effort as possible getting through your day by making a few choices “ONCE and for all” – which is where habits are golden.

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Executive Functioning, Focus and Attentional Bias


Attention must be paid
How come that sometimes seems
so VERY hard to do?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Health Series

focus magnifying glassAttentional Bias and FOCUS

“Executive functioning” is an umbrella term for the management (regulation, control) of cognitive processes,[1] including working memory, reasoning, task flexibility, and problem solving [2] as well as planning, and execution.[3] (also known as cognitive control and the supervisory attentional system) ~ Wikipedia

Central to the idea of “control” is the concept of intentional FOCUS.

Intentional focus means exactly that — you can focus where you want, when you want, for as long as you want — and shift focus to something new (and BACK again) any time you want. (see The Dynamics of Attending for the implications of on that idea)

Can anybody really DO that?

Those of us with Alphabet Disorders don’t usually kid ourselves that we are the absolute rulers of our skip-to-my-Lou minds. But even those of you who feel that you do fairly well in that regard might be surprised at how often your focus is skewed unintentionally through a concept known as attentional bias.

About attentional bias, Wikipedia says it is a term commonly used to describe the unconscious inclination to note emotionally dominant stimuli more quickly and prominently, effectively “neglecting” factors that do not comply with the initial area of interest.

The concept implies that stimuli that do not comply with the emotionally dominant stimuli will be “neglected,” reducing our attention toward a great number of the many things coming our way — and ultimately negatively affecting our ability to prioritize action in ways we might ultimately prefer.

Sort of, but not really

While it certainly seems to be true that anything that “hooks us emotionally” will pull our focus away from more neutral stimuli, other reasons for attentional bias exist.

More accurately, attentional bias describes the tendency for a particular type of stimuli to capture attention, the familiar “over-riding” the importance of other input.

For example, in studies using the dot-probe paradigm (a computer-assisted test used by cognitive psychologists to assess selective attention), patients with anxiety disorders and chronic pain show increased attention to angry and painful facial expressions.[2] [3]

But we’ll also see increased attention to an item written in a bold color (or in a person’s favorite color), to names similar to our own among a list of names (or that of a close relative), or a familiar sound mixed intermittently with less familiar sounds.

Scientists believe that attentional bias has a significant effect on a great many items we must deal with moment-by-moment, which tends to have an exacerbating impact on quite a few “conditions.”

Some of those “conditions” include depression, anxiety, chronic pain, eating disorders and other addictions, and many other areas that might not, at first glance, seem related – like task-anxiety and follow-through to completion.

Extensively explored by Nobel prize winner Daniel Kahneman and frequent collaborator Amos Tversky, the concept of cognitive bias explains something that most of us have readily observed, and frequently struggle to explain –

The actions of human beings aren’t always rational!

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PROGRESS, not Perfection


The Long Road Back:
Learning patience – Recovering Resilience

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Health & Walking a Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

A Little Background

wallpaperweb.org: click picture to visit source

wallpaperweb.org: click picture to visit source

“The journey toward resilience is the great moral quest of our age.”
~ Andrew Zolli, co-author of
Resilience: Why Things Bounce Back.

Bouncing back myself

Regular readers know already that, between Christmas and New Years, I was mugged at gunpoint getting out of my van in front of my house, and that the thugs shattered my dominant hand. 

That left me pretty much helpless – and unable to work – until the cast came off in the second week of March. 

Since I work for myself there is no regular paycheck if I can’t do the work, so it’s been a scary time.

Only once my cast came off, about 75 days later, am I finally able to really concentrate on jumping through all the hoops necessary to put things back together – a DAUNTING idea! (See When Fear Becomes Entrenched & Chronic for just HOW daunting!)

Not only do I need to recover my sense of safety and security in my world and get back to work, I need to recover my STUFF!

  • The band of thugs made away with my purse, containing my make-up and favorite hairbrush, my brand new iPhone, the keys to house, car and storage space, and a-whole-lot-more, and my wallet (with all forms of identification, the plastic cards one uses for money these days, and all the merchant cards one shows to buy much of anything anymore).
  • They also grabbed my tote containing a number of things, the most devastating to my ongoing functioning being my datebook and address book.
  • It ALL needs to be replaced – starting with figuring out who and what I call to DO that – along with everything that expired while I was incapacitated (like my car insurance and tags, for example), and making sure all my regular bills are paid through the end of March.

If you’re one of my few neurotypical readers, you’re probably not envying my process, but my ADDers (etc) r-e-a-l-l-y get what a terrifying process that is!!

Spending a few weeks with my friends in Little Rock has been very healing, and getting back at least partial use of my dominant hand has made a huge difference.

Yet, I still have a long way to go before I will be able to say that I have climbed out of the hole I found myself in rather unexpectedly, almost three intermidable months ago.

I feel SO far behind, wondering if I will EVER be able to catch up!!

Since I promised to let you know what I am doing to continue to heal and how its going, I’ll check in every week or so with an article that will be a bit like a diary of my progress, coupled with any related insights, thoughts or ideas about executive functioning as I step back from the PTSD edge.

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When Fear Becomes Entrenched & Chronic


Chronic Anxiety & PTSD
Understanding Fear & Anxiety – Part 2

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Health Series

When what happened leaves marks

broken-legIf you broke your leg, you’d go get it set, right?

Whether it was a little break or something catastrophic that required an operation and pins, you would feel “entitled” to go for professional help and would have no doubt that you needed it, right?

While you were in a cast, you’d probably have the good sense not to try to walk on that broken leg. Most of the people around you would be able to understand without explanation that you needed crutches to get around.  Right? It would go without saying that you had to take it easy while you healed.

EVEN if you broke your leg doing something stupid that was entirely your own fault, you would probably feel very little shame about having a broken leg – a little embarrassed, perhaps, but you’d still allow yourself to get what you needed to heal.

YET, when the problem is mental, we tend to try to soldier on alone. 

  • Maybe we think things are not “bad enough” that we are entitled to professional help.
  • Maybe the stigma still associated with the term “mental illness” stops us cold.
  • We probably find ourselves struggling with the concern that others might believe we are weak or over-reacting if we can’t seem to pull things back together alone.
  • Perhaps we have collapsed psychological difficulties with “crazy,” and we certainly don’t want to believe we are crazy!

The only thing that is CRAZY is denying ourselves the help it would take to manage whatever it is that we are struggling with so that we can get back to being our own best selves - and most of us are a little bit crazy in that way.  I know I am, in any case.

In one masterful stroke of unconscious black and white thinking, we label ourselves powerless when we are unable to continue on without help, struggling against impossible situations sometimes, as things continue to worsen – if we’re lucky. 

  • Because when things continue to get worse, it will eventually become obvious that we are clearly not okay.
  • We’ll eventually reach a place where it will be impossible to deny ourselves the help we need to heal.
  • If we’re not lucky, we are able to continue living life at half mast: limp-along lives that could be SO much healthier and happier.
  • If we’re not lucky, our mental reserves will be worn out by limping along, and we are likely to reach a place where it seems as if our dominant emotion is anger, or we will slide into chronic, low-level depression – or worse.

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Understanding Fear & Anxiety


Moving Beyond the Fears
and Anxieties that Keep us STUCK (Part 1)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Health Series

FEAR: The primal emotion most studied in neuroscience

fear

The study of fear has consumed many hundreds of researchers for decades. The events following 9/11 and the war in Iraq has only bolstered this field of research. 

Finding new molecules that erase traumatic memories (or enable soldiers to keep from feeling fear) are research priorities in the United States.

~ Dream Life of Rats: Pure Science Specials (season one, episode six;
originally aired on 5/29/2013)

 

Platitudes Begone!

Troll the internet – or browse the shelves of your local library – and you will find a blue-million self-help offerings with advice to help you conquer “fear.” The majority of them hold out the promise that they can teach you to “feel the fear and do it anyway” or “stop fearing change to change your fear,” and other related blather. 

These ways of working may help with lack of activation or with task anxiety but they will rarely make much of a dent in fear.

They’re lightweights, those offerings – their authors really don’t understand the extent to which many people experience FEAR. Most of them are, metaphorically, pushing anti-heartburn remedies to help with heart attacks. They’re talking about situationally-induced moments of anxiety that our self-help culture mislabels “fear.”

If you are one of the many who are periodically frozen by anxiety disorders, reeling from a recent and dramatic accident, suffering from flashbacks related to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and other more extreme situations that prompted more extreme emotional responses, pouring through those offerings looking for HELP will only increase your feelings of helplessness, which will very likely increase your feelings of fear.

  • Throwing those simplistic offerings in the garbage is the first step toward real healing.
  • Understanding what’s going on is the second step.
  • Allowing yourself to reach out to professionals who specialize in PTSD or TBI is certainly worth considering seriously, and
  • Patience is the fourth key: giving your nervous system time to heal as you reframe your approach to life and de-condition your fear response.

By the way, if you are among the majority of folks who are currently stopped by one of those “situationally-induced moments of anxiety that our self-help culture mislabels ‘fear,’” the information in this article can help you, too (but you might want to hang on to those other offerings to read later).

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Repair Deficit


Domino Problems Redux?
When you can’t seem to FIX faster than things fall apart!

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Time & Task Management Series
Predicting Time to Manage Tasks – Part-III

300px-Domino_effectHOW can I catch-up before it’s all too late?

Domino problems are what I have named that frustrating but all too familiar situation where it seems that no matter what you do - or how long you agonize over what you CAN do - one thing after another goes wrong anyway.

In my own life and the lives of my neurodiverse clients and and students, there are periods of time when it seems like one little oversight or problem “suddenly” creates a host of others — as we watch in horror as our lives falls apart, each new problem created by the one before it.

“I drop out one little thing and there I am,” one client said tearfully,back in the hole again, with no idea how I’ll get out this time.”

“Everything seems to fall apart around me, and I shut down with the stress of it all,” said another.

Still another said, “My family is tired of bailing me out, and I’m tired of hearing them yell at me about it. I feel like such a loser.”

That’s the Domino Problem Dynamic in a Nutshell

Why the name? Because the domino dynamic is similar to that activity where you set a row of dominoes on end, then tap the first one to watch them ALL fall, one at a time, as the domino falling before it knocks it down.

Domino Problems are a major contributor to so-called procrastination: we reach a point where we are afraid to move because we are afraid we won’t be able to handle one more thing going wrong!

I keep searching for a way to explain the dynamic, on the way to suggesting some ways to work around it before everything is in shambles at your feet. “Repair deficit” is my latest attempt.

Repair Deficit

The term may seem oddly familiar to those of you who “attended” the world’s first virtual Gluten Summit in November 2013.

Dr. Liz Lipski used the term as a way of explaining “increased intestinal permeability,” in answer to a couple of recurring questions:

  1. Why is it, if gluten is supposed to be so bad for us, that everyone who eats it doesn’t develop what is euphemistically called “a leaky gut” and/or other conditions which supposedly have gluten intolerance at the root of the problem?
  2. How come people can be healthy for years on the standard high-gluten diet then suddenly, in late life, be diagnosed with celiac disorder or something else attributed to gluten intolerance?

Lipski’s explanation of the repair deficit dynamic in the physical health venue ALSO provides a handy metaphor for the explanation of why some of us are able to swim to shore after our life-boat capsizes, while others go down with the ship — or why some of us “leap tall buildings in a single bound,” only to be stopped cold by something that looks relatively minor.

So stay with me as we learn (or review) a bit about digestive health, on the way to taking a look at how repair deficit situations operate in the non-food areas of our lives.

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NO contact possible: mugged at gunpoint


If you’re just hearing why I’ve been tough to reach  . . .
read from bottom to top to get the story in order.

Newest updates will be at the top — some are links you must click to read.
New comments after this post add context and additional information.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Keeping up with the Treadmill Tasks


Didn’t I just DO that???
It CAN’T be time to do it again!

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Time & Task Management Series
Predicting Time to Manage Tasks – Part-II

treadmill_GreenSuitOver and over and OVER

Treadmill Tasks are those things that are never really done. No sooner do we put the task behind us than its evil twin materializes in front.

If we expect to eat every day, somebody has to fix the food. Then somebody has to clean up once each meal is over.

And then there is the grocery shopping, laundry, dusting and general digging out, taking out the garbage, making the beds, policing the bedrooms, and the bathrooms, and the living rooms, and the kitchens . . .

SOME-body has to attend to all that or everybody must live with the consequences of the mounting disorder and disarray.

When YOU are that somebody – especially if you are one of the citizens of Alphabet City – I’ll bet you frequently feel like your life is just one gigantic Groundhog Day to-do list.

I know that I do — far too many more days than I’d like to!!

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How Long Do Things Take?


Predicting Time to Manage Tasks

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Time & Task Management Series
Part ONE

sand_timer_sWhat’s YOUR Tendency?

Procrastination Specialist Timothy A. Pychyl, Success Specialist Heidi Grant Halvorson, and a number of other helpful psychologists have written any number of great articles about planning and time management on their Psychology Today blogs.

Once you’ve read my take on the topic, be sure to click on some of their articles in the Related Links at the bottom of this article for their particular brand of explanation and help.

Those of you who find it easier to believe in and try techniques backed by “official studies” will especially love what they have to say.

As regular readers already know, I tend to put more faith in what science refers to as “anecdotal evidence”  — learning from what I have observed in my clients and myself, and what I have heard from thousands of ADDers who have attended conferences and participated in my support groups and workshops in the twenty five years I have been in the field.

As I expanded my evidence collection to include the experiences of the other citizens of Alphabet City (TBI, OCD, EFD, AS, etc.), I began to mentally record their experiences as well, and factor them in to my techniques and theories.

It doesn’t matter.  Your job is the same either way: check your gut to see what makes the most sense to you and try it on.  Tweak from there.

  • When something works well for you, enjoy the moment and stick the technique in your box of cognitive tools.
  • When it doesn’t, don’t despair – check out another tool.

But hang on to the first!!  Just because you need a screwdriver NOW doesn’t mean you won’t need a hammer later!

My take on Anecdotal

When the science supports what I see in the population, I quote it.  When it doesn’t, I ignore it or argue with it.

  • It makes no difference if 98 out of 100 people studied tend to do xyz if my client and I happen to be among the 2% who do qrs.
  • For years I struggled valiantly attempting to adopt “majority rules” norms — with little to no success and a lot of wasted life.
  • It took a long time for me to develop even a rudimentary feeling of entitlement to my own process, learning to close my ears to the words of the “experts” and neurotypical Doubting Thomases who kept telling me that I was only kidding myself or making excuses.
  • I was all too aware that my shoulders were battered and bruised from my attempts to force myself through doors that simply wouldn’t open for me.  I had to teach myself to stop banging on locked doors and look for another way to get in – and I’m still working on it.

I coach, train and share here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com hoping to help others avoid some of the wilderness-wandering that has characterized much of my own life. And to remind myself of what I’ve learned.

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Requests That Get You What You Want


requestSignRequesting-101:
Surprisingly easy to Ace – even easier to flunk

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Self-Advocacy Series
in support of the Coaching Skills Series

Please Read This Article Now

The heading above is a clear and clean example of a request — there’s nuthin’ fuzzy about it!

  1. It’s short
  2. It asks directly for what it wants
  3. It’s respectful — and includes the magic word
    (“please” – for those of you who didn’t have that kind of upbringing)
  4. And it is clear about the time-frame expectation.

It is truly a request, not a manipulation attempt.

In no way is it:

  • nagging or pleading
  • shaming or complaining
  • explaining or justifying
  • intimidating or threatening

Nor is it gift-wrapped in emotional subtext

There is no:

  • anger
  • frustration
  • disappointment
  • pouting
  • or any other emotional technique most of us tend to pull out when we are hoping to get what we want

As a result, it does not automatically activate emotional reactions like:

  • hurt feelings and defensiveness
  • pleas for exceptions or understanding
  • resistance or opposition
  • angry retorts or the urge to argue

It also makes itself ridiculously easy for the person on the responding end to consider, because it is it clear what’s expected if s/he responds affirmatively.

Responding to a request

There are only three ways a person can respond to a request:

  1. YES – in which case the expectation is that they will do it
  2. NO – we all know the pros and cons of that one
  3. MAYBE/IF – renegotiating the task or the time-frame

What seems to trip people up emotionally is the lack of the realization or acceptance of the First Codicil of Requesting.

Requesting: First Codicil

If any one of the three potential responses
is not an acceptable possibility,
you are making a
DEMANDNOT making a request –
(no matter how sweet your tone of voice)

The rest of this article will continue to expand on the request process — in a lot more words with a lot more examples — and will make a strong link between messing up the request process and all kinds of life struggles and relationship troubles.

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holy fuck reblog


Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC:

Please READ before complaining:

I hope MOST of you will read the following comments from me BEFORE you click to the article I’m reblogging.

#1- I REALLY don’t care for the reblog function on WordPress.com because I don’t find it ADD/EFD-friendly at all (plus it produces really ugly posts that the blog author can’t do much about, they position the introduction UNDER the reblog, and we’re stuck with the original title).  ::sigh::

I haven’t used the reblog function since my first test, a hundred articles ago now, and probably won’t do it again for that long or longer.

#2- If I COULD, I would certainly avoid reblogging any title with the expletive that is the title of this one, only because ADDandSoMuchMore.com is an “all audience” information source, and the title will live on in the “recent articles” list until it ages off.

NONETHELESS, I’m making a RARE exception to both of my strong preferences for THIS particular personal experience article about aspartame poisoning because I think this information is THAT important.

I’m hoping that it might convince some of you whom my words have never reached that you REALLY want to pay attention to “those crazy nay-sayers” and STOP buying or ingesting foods that are neuro-toxic (meaning, they kill your brain cells).

The underlying problem in THIS story is MS, but there are many other examples of aspartame poisoning masquerading as any number of other disorders and diseases.  You  can read about a few in the reblog – and in MANY articles around the internet (only a handful below as Related Content).

Why NOW?

Because there are a number of recent articles touting a particular study saying that it has now been “proven” that aspartame is safe.

  • PLEASE check out the *many* studies that say otherwise before you buy what they’re selling you.
  • If you find scientific articles tough to get through, at least take a look at the sordid history of aspartame approval process before you decide who to believe.

I pray that it doesn’t turn out that *I* care more about the health of your brains and your bodies than YOU do (and that you won’t care more about the appearance of impropriety than the truly outrageous nonsense that has been perpetrated upon you and your children).

HEADS UP - if you are a “diet-drink junkie,” if you stopped right NOW, you could have a whole new life by New Years Day.

Click over to read this story.

The author’s title is not NEARLY as outrageously “out there” as what’s going on that caused this reaction.

xx,
mgh

Related Articles ’round the net

BY THE WAY: Since ADDandSoMuchMore.com is an Evergreen site, I revisit all my content periodically to update links — when you link back, like, follow or comment, you STAY on the page. When you do not, you run a high risk of getting replaced by a site with a more generous come-from.

Originally posted on life of a slightly nutty mum:

i think the food industry is insane they are putting aspartame in our food and drink DO NOT DRINK ANY DIET SODA OR EAT DIET FOODS IT COULD KILL YOU

read this article i found

In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick She had stomach spasms and she was having a hard time getting around. Walking was a major chore. It took everything she had just to get out of bed; she was in so much pain.

By March 2002, she had undergone several tissue and muscle biopsies and was on 24 various prescription medications. The doctors could not determine what was wrong with her. She was in so much pain, and so sick she just knew she was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc., in her oldest daughter’s name, and made sure that her younger children were to be taken care of.

View original 1,362 more words

When Memory Fails – Part 2


Memory Issues
& Alphabet Disorders
(ADD/HD-EFD-TBI etc.)

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC
When Memory Fails, Part 2

BlankMemory

According to Psychology Today  --

Memory makes us. If we couldn’t recall the who’s, what’s, where’s, and when’s of our everyday lives, we’d never be able to manage.

We mull over ideas in the present with our short-term (or working) memory, while we store past events and learned meanings in our long-term memory.

What Science Says

Memory is dynamic and malleable – and it doesn’t NEED to decay with age.

Through the miracles made possible through our brain’s ability to build new neural-networks — neuroplasticity! — most of us can expect to remain sharp and efficient, lean, mean learning machines throughout most of our lives.  We can, that is, as long as we take care of ourselves.

However, researchers are quick to point out, just as keeping our “physical apparatus” strong and flexible requires good nutrition and hygiene, remaining well-hydrated, and making sure that we get regular exercise so that our bodies can continue to serve us well . . .

Keeping our BRAINS supple has its own set of nutritional requirements and, to maintain peak performance, our brains need even more water than our bodies.

Were you aware that 80% of your brain is good ole’ H2O??
(In case you were wondering, 60% of the remaining 20% is FAT – which is only one reason why extremely low-fat diets may be great for helping you get into your skinny jeans, but they’re LOUSY for the health of your brain!)

The brain’s need for exercise is frequently summed up in the words of an old platitude: use it or lose it!

Losing it ANYWAY

cracked mind-300x300Okay, it’s certainly true that our ability to “remember” weakens if we don’t exercise our brains or take care of our bodies.

BUT EVEN for those of us who are reasonably fit, responsibly fed, well-watered life-long learners, there are times when information seems to fall through the cracks in our minds.

Ask any relatively good student if there was ever a time when, after studying vigorously for a particular exam – and even though they KNEW they “knew” the requested information – they couldn’t supply the answer to one of the questions.

Most students will answer your question affirmatively, yet they are members of the community that “uses it” most deliberately, nearly every single day.

That reality underscores an important point in the understanding of memory dynamics: it’s not enough to focus our energies on keeping our ability to store information strong and vital.  We need to understand how to be able to retrieve the information reliably for our “memory” to be of any use to us.

Getting things OUT

The process of memory storage is an extremely important part of the equation, of course — but if our brain’s librarian can’t locate what we ask it for when it comes time to USE the information, what good is it?

So before we explore the process of moving information into long-term memory storage, let’s take a look at the ways in which our “neuro-librarians” deliver what we’re looking for once it is stored there.

The “regurgitation” portion of the memory process is a factor of, essentially, three different processes:

  • recognition
  • recall, and
  • recall on demand

Let’s distinguish each of them before we go any further.

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Motivation and Gratitude


 - INSPIRATION -
Thank GOD for It!

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the What Kind of World do YOU Want Series

When life gets tough and we struggle ON

up2neck

None of us has it easy.

There are far too many days when the weather turns nasty — when life dumps its challenges from some dark cloud up-above just as we pass underneath — and we suddenly find ourselves up to our necks in complications we never saw coming.

ALL of us.

Then what? Do we give in and give up because it seems too difficult to do much of anything else?

Can we imagine soldiering on — even if we have no idea HOW we will continue to put one foot in front of the other day after day?

At times like that we have choices to make. Because life is a CHOICE — and choices can be positive or negative.  They can encourage or dis-courage our efforts to keep on keeping on.

Can we find a reason to believe that there is indeed some light at the end of our tunnels without seeing so much as a glimmer of evidence?

What choice can we make that will keep us soldiering on through blackness?

  • And sometimes it looks like we HAVE no choice — and that no one understands or cares.
  • Too many times, in each of our lives, we search desperately for a much needed gust of wind beneath our wings, straining for awareness of movement at all in air that seems stale and stagnant.

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But I Don’t WANT to Give Up TASTE!


Taste preferences are NOT simply
what you are used to eating!

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Sweet Tooth/Self-Health Series
(click HERE for the prior article)

OneGrainMore

see production details on onegrainmore.com

 

Clicking the graphic above will take you to YouTube for what is being touted as the funniest nutrition video ever made — One Grain More.

  • Admittedly, you wouldn’t have to go far to win that particular award – few nutrition videos are known for what you might consider entertainment value – and humor is practically always in short supply when nutrition and health are discussed.
  • I have to agree that this nutrition video, a parody set to the music of Les Miserables, IS pretty darned clever.
  • It puts it right out there - our secret thoughts and deepest fears about eliminating gluten and sugar from our diets, even if we have to pay for our taste preferences with allergic reactions – and it’s very well done! (It will open in a new tab or window – depending on your browser’s settings).

It’s short as well as an amusing beginning for this article – so go take a look, then close that window and come back here for an introductory explanation of WHY we like what we like — and why we crave certain foods.

When you reach the end, you will understand more about what is behind our preferences and cravings — and it will be a whole lot easier to figure out how to sneak some good ole’ fashioned TASTE appeal back into food that’s good for your health.

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Sugar Cravings in Alphabet City


From the Front-Lines
of the Sugar-Shackle Battles

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Sweet Tooth/Self-Health Series

Phillip Martin - artist/educator

Phillip Martin – artist/educator

Hello-my-name-is-Madelyn
and I am an addict

If there were ever any doubt about it, I now have irrefutable evidence.

During the more than several hours over the last couple of days that I have been researching, planning and first-drafting the articles that will comprise the upcoming Sweet Tooth Series, I have gotten up FIVE times to journey to the cookie jar.

That makes it pretty darned clear that, as with any other substance abuser, even thinking about a sweet-tooth can activate my cravings.

It seems that each time I reached an impasse or a segue point, I simply HAD to have a hit of sugar to kick-start my brain again.

Give me a Break?

I’m not totally off-base in my thinking about the cognitive benefits, you realize.

A study conducted by David Benton, a psychologist at the United Kingdom’s Swansea University, found that in the approximately thirty minutes after having a sugar-laden drink, 9 to 11-year-old schoolkids were better able to concentrate on tasks and scored higher in memory tests (Biological Psychology, vol 78, p 242).

  • I repeat that little ditty as my ADDled brain feeds me the excuse that a cookie is less damaging than the nicotine stimulation of the cigarette I also crave, as I suck on the cigarette-shaped plastic pacifier that is little-to-no-help whatsoever!
  • Yet I overlook the cookie costs at my own peril - and I am as aware of them as any alcoholic who knows that bathing his brain in spirits is a really dumb idea (as he downs his second cocktail and orders his third).

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Sound Sensitivity and Sensory Integration


Too much to process –
too much to THINK through

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
All Rights Reserved
Sensory Defensiveness Series – Part 1

BW-Loud

“I have been talking and writing about sensory problems for over 20 years, and am still perplexed by many people who do not acknowledge sensory issues and the pain and discomfort they can cause. 

A person doesn’t have to be on the autism spectrum to be affected by sensory issues.”
~
Dr. Temple Grandin, The Way I See It

OURSELVES, growing older

My father “Brandy” was an amazingly healthy man for most of his 90+ years on earth. His mind stayed sharp right up to the end, but his body grew weary as the years went by — little betrayals and injustices to a man who was once strong and active. His once keen eyesight was the first to fade.

When I was just an undergrad, I remember his telling me that “his arms were no longer long enough.”  Now that I am older than the age he was then, I know just what he means: focal length. Presbyopia, they call it.

As the eyes grow older, the cornea becomes less flexible. It can no longer “squeeze down” enough to sharpen close-up focus.

  • I don’t think he ever really made friends with his reading glasses, though I’m sure he was grateful for anything that allowed him to continue to read.
  • I know I am – although I miss the days when I had the sharpest eyesight of anyone anyone knew, near or far.
  • I had no idea of the extent to which my cognition was linked to that sharp eyesight, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

As my father grew older, the world became louder – to everyone around him.

As he aged his hearing began to fade as well, so everything he listened to was LOUD — television, talk-radio, music – anything, really.  Although certainly understandable, it was also certainly annoying to those of us with normal hearing.  The volume he could tolerate hurt my ears, sometimes – even through the phone.

Have you ever been around someone with hearing challenges?

  • If you have, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, go turn on the TV or radio right now — and turn it w-a-y UP.
  • NOW try to concentrate on reading this article.
  • Keep reading, and give it at least a full minute before you turn it off or down to the level of background music.
  • Whew!  That WAS annoying, wasn’t it?  How much do you recall of what you read?

Wouldn’t it be awful if, for some reason, you were unable to turn the sound back down?  How long do you think you would be able to tolerate it calmly?

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The Gluten Sensitivity Summit Speakers Schedule


ADDendum: WORLD’S FIRST
GLUTEN SUMMIT

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Self-Health Series

click image for source

click image for source

Quickie Update:

Below is the list of speakers who will be presenting for FREE during the online Gluten Sensitivity Summit.

And it’s NOT too late to register below. 

Although you will have to purchase the downloads if you want to hear the days you’ve missed – as you’ll see in the Speaker Schedule below, there’s still A LOT more to come you can access for free.

If this is the first you are reading about why YOU might be interested in attending this amazing Summit (which began on Monday, November 11th and will continue daily until the following Monday)  – CLICK HERE for my introductory article & registration link.

The rest of you already know about this comprehensive collection of experts sharing the latest gluten-related information, generous enough to give us all what amounts to a free one-hour consultation.

Summit organizer Dr. Tom O’Bryan of TheDr.com asks the questions we would ask if we were there. — with new content available for free, every day for a solid 8 days – through Monday, November 18th, 2013. 

If you registered when I first announced the Summit, you listened for free from the very beginning.

BUT DON’T WORRY – the cost to download the complete set of ALL the sessions – either before they actually air or after the fact – is among the most reasonable of any Summit I’ve ever attended: video, audio and transcript all for one low price, by the way.

  • For those of you have already signed up – please take this as a reminder to continue spreading the word. SHARE with your social networks (buttons below) or reblog. Like I said in the last Gluten Summit post — it doesn’t cost a dime to become known as a resource!
  • If you know all about it, but haven’t registered YET, jump on it!

CLICK HERE
for the Gluten Sensitivity Summit registration page
& more information

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More info on the free Gluten Sensitivity Summit


WORLD’S FIRST GLUTEN SUMMIT
Possibly LIFE changing?

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Self-Health Series

click image for source

click image for source

Did you register?

If this is the first you are reading about why YOU might be interested in attending this amazing Summit (beginning on November 11th, 2013)  – CLICK HERE for my introductory article & registration link.

The rest of you already know about this comprehensive collection of experts sharing the latest gluten-related information, willing to spill their guts for free during an ongoing, recorded Summit of interviews — with new content posted every day for a solid week – beginning on November 11th, 2013. 

SAY WHAT? Give up grains! Are you NUTS?!!

Hold that thought just long enough for me to give you the registration information and links – then I’ll let you in on MY thinking in this regard.

If you get in at the very beginning, you can listen for free.  But don’t worry – the cost to download the sessions – either before they actually air or after the fact – is among the most reasonable of any Summit I’ve attended.

  • Some of you have already signed up – so take this as a reminder to continue spreading the word. SHARE and reblog – it doesn’t cost a dime to become known as a resource!
  • If you know all about it, but haven’t registered YET, there’s still time.

CLICK HERE
for the Gluten Sensitivity Summit registration page
& more information

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Everything you ever wanted to know about SLEEP


BrainTransplantHeader

Another of Martin's wonderful educational drawings, of a man in bed, distracted from sleeping by a stream of light

Phillip Martin, artist/educator

EVERYTHING?

Well, everything I’ve already published on SLEEP here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com, anyway
and that’s quite a lot
(all linked below)

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Management Talks and Service Walks


What’s WRONG with society today:
a microcosm

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series

Mail-truck

“There is more to life
than increasing its speed.”

~ Ghandi

“When leading consciously,
you use the power you have to
intentionally choose actions
that can make a profound difference
in your interactions with others –
both personally and professionally.”
Jean Kantambu Latting

Whatever Happened to Rita?

Awakening early this morning for a much-welcomed change to my usual dark-centric experience of living, I took my coffee for a walk, hoping that the exposure to early morning light might help maintain the unexpected shift in my chronorhythms.

Having time to muse in the daylight is a rare treat. I’ve missed it.

I ran into another of the mailmen I didn’t recognize, parking his mail-truck: odd only because, as long as I’ve lived here, we’ve never gotten mail delivery on our street until late afternoon.

Since Rita disappeared, it seems we are left in the hands of a series of “temps,” so nothing is truly standard about our mail delivery anymore.

It won’t be until we have our own mail carrier again.

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Bumbershoots, Metaphysics, Logic & Coaching


If I prepare for a rainy day,
does that mean it’s going to rain?

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Coaching Series, supporting the
What Kind of World do YOU Want? Series

All Rights Reserved

click graphic for cute short story

click graphic for cute short story – shortstories.net

Well, Of COURSE it does! Eventually. But not because you prepared for it. Your thoughts really don’t control the universe.

How powerful do you think you are?

Even if you happen to be a mighty wizard who can command the elements — what about the OTHER mighty wizards who are thinking a sunny day into place for the Teddy Bear’s Picnic or something?

If you REALLY want to control whether you are likely to remain dry, get it together to move somewhere it rarely rains – like the desert.

But aren’t Thoughts THINGS?

I’m right with you on the metaphysics of this idea, but there are a lot of thinkers on the planet.  Sometimes we get out-voted (er-um, out-thought?)

But If you think negative thoughts, you’ll bring about bad things, right?
Isn’t that The Law of Attraction?

I was tempted to buy into this fear-based point of view when I was younger – for about a nano-second.  I was led to believe that it was some kind of “Secret.”

Here are the REAL Secrets:

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How to live a life that doesn’t suck


from Selorm Nelson - click graphic to read

from Selorm Nelson – click graphic to read

Does anybody REALLY live
“a LIFE they LOVE?”

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
A Walking a Mile in Another’s Shoes Post
Part 1 in a Series

I know, it’s a bizarre way to begin

It is an ESPECIALLY bizarre question out of the metaphorical mouth of a coach.

For those of you who aren’t yet aware, “life” coaching is a profession renowned for holding the “Live a life you LOVE banner aloft (above a table marketing miraculous services that will transform your life with the click of a PayPal button).

I’ve used the phrase myself – more than a few times.  It seemed a handy “short-hand” in my attempt to describe the benefits of coaching. But today I’m giving that hyperbole a bit more thought.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been under the weather all week and I’m now in the grouchy phase where I’m feeling sorry for myself – but I think the topic merits some frank discussion, don’t you?

Because I think we’re focusing on the wrong objective, which will continue to lead us astray.

I’m coming to believe it’s a set up, actually — for an expectations mismatch that will make us truly miserable, regardless of what our lives look like at any particular moment.

If it works for you, carry on. I’m all FOR hyperboles that work, but I’m not sure this one does.

I’m wondering if it’s time to move on to something that works better with the way our brains are designed. Do your best to read with an open mind.

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