ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

Confirmation Bias & The Tragedy of Certainty

Sunday, June 16, 2013 Leave a comment

“If you board the wrong train,
it’s no use running along the corridor
in the other direction.”
~ the fascinating & courageous theologian,
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

How do you KNOW?
And what do you do with that belief?

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Foundational Concepts of the Intentionality Series
Opinions vs. Facts

Facts, Suppositions, Extrapolations & Opinions

In the past two years, I have been reading a large number of “neuroscience” books — which means, of course, that I have been reading the opinions of neuroscientists that they have put forward into book form.

Here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com, I shared my reaction to the various opinions in the first of what will become a Series of writings about opinion and fact:

(Science and Sensibility – The Illusion of Proof: Observation: Anecdotal Report and Science ).

Another article, the geneses of the one you are reading right now, was written for Hazel Owen‘s Ethos Consultancy community, intended to became the second post of my new Series.

CLICK HERE for the Ethos Article: The Tragedy of Certainty
(great comments on that post)

In response to a spate of recent email questions, I decided to cross-post, after a fashion, repeating the foundational concepts of that post here on this blog.

Background

I recently polished off an eBook by Dr. Ginger Campbell, Are You Sure? — The Unconscious Origins of Certainty.Ginger hosts the excellent Brain Science Podcast, one of the best brain-based resources in the podcast universe.

Ginger’s synopsis of some of the major themes of certainty was prompted by her two-part discussion of a book by neuroscientist-turned-novelist, Dr. Robert Burton (On Certainty: Believing You Are Right Even When You’re Not), which included an interview with the author.

Ginger’s brilliance is her ability to distill the essence of the thinking of others into words that make the ideas accessible to those who are relatively new to the topic.

I highly recommend her eBook, even if you struggle with reading, and especially if you lack the time to read a longer development of the topic.

In any case, with the “opinion or fact” series I am jumping into the long-standing catfight between neuroscience and psychology with a third point of view that will form the backbone of this particular series of articles: the importance of listening from belief to anecdotal report, remaining diligently aware of our innate tendency toward confirmation bias.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with Brain-based Coaching, Confirmation bias, explanation, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Neuroscience, Phillip Martin - artist-educator, Psychology

Transition Tamer: Beware the GAP!

Thursday, June 13, 2013 2 Comments

Transitions:
Into, Out of
&
AROUND
The Gap

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Excerpted from an upcoming book; all rights reserved
CLICK HERE to begin at the beginning

We start small

We begin with the tedium of to-dos – because the lessons learned will generalize to the bigger changes and transitions that we all must face.

Meanwhile, we must all learn the ways in which we, uniquely, “chop wood, carry water.” ~ mgh

Different Strokes for Different Folks

I developed the articles in my ongoing Trouble with Transitions Series to offer an explanation BESIDES conflicts-blocks-resistance and/or self-sabotage, disempowering beliefs, and procrastination for WHY so many of us struggle trying to get things done.

I don’t plan to leave you hung out to dry — giving you a new understanding of why you’ve been struggling, without also giving you some suggestions to work around your transition challenges.

Understanding the dynamic, however, is the first step on the road to knowing what YOU have to do to be able to move forward.

The first four articles in this Series introduced the transition-troubles concept and focused on identifying struggles transitioning into and transitioning out-of. NOW it’s time to focus on the dreaded GAP.

As I said in The Truth about Transitions, the second article in the Series :

While those of us who struggle with transitions don’t find any of the phases of the transition process particularly effortless, we do tend to find one phase that is, fairly consistently, the biggest troublemaker.

Some of us struggle mightily with completions: wrapping thing up and moving on.

Others feel that the start-up tasks are the most troublesome.

Some get stuck smack dab in the middle!

That third group has the greatest difficulty with inertia and activation: you struggle most with the transition between doing nothing and doing much of anything at all.

For you gap-challenged critters, putting away ALL your toys before getting out what you need for the next activity won’t work at all, at all, at ALL!

Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential while you’re reading.
They turn red on mouseover. Hold before clicking for a window with more info

Stuck in the GAP

snoBoardJumpGap Begin to suspect that your trouble with transitions is primarily one of “transitioning the gap” IF YOU . . .

. . . seem to have equal difficulty with both of the more easily identified transitional phases.

. . . often (maybe even usually) find yourself thinking of numerous additional items that keep you from completing tasks and moving on.

and/or

. . . frequently reach the original “end” of a task and suddenly have a great idea to make it even better, like maybe . . .

new fonts or formatting in a “completed” report
a new arrangement for the furniture “now that the room is clean”
a different piece to an outfit to elevate its style, even though
you could walk out the door appropriately dressed NOW

If you suspect that you are one of the “gap guys,” the into and out of exercises of the last few articles will certainly help make transitions less troubling.

Expect to continue to have difficulties, however, until you follow the example of
Hansel and Gretel: breadcrumbs.
Those of you who get stuck in the gap will have to take the beginning steps of the new project before completing your current one to be able to finish the first so that you can hyperfocus on the next.

THIS article is going to give you an example of what I mean by that.

IMPORTANT: Don’t let anybody convince you it is important to finish one activity before starting the next, or try to make you feel disorganized because you try to do more than one project at a time.

Until you learn how to engage and disengage hyperfocus intentionally,
you will HAVE TO time-slice to get much of anything done at all.

Do whatever you must to AVOID THAT GAP!

Your subconscious knows you very well.

It will do anything it must to protect you from gap-quicksand. If you don’t utilize a system to bypass that darned gap, it will keep moving the prior project’s finish line farther and farther away!

Heaven help you if you stop. How WILL you get started again?

As I keep saying, if you are gap-challenged, you need to have a trail to follow, leading you through the gap and into the next task.
Not only that, but you need to “scatter your breadcrumbs” before you enter that gap –
which takes PLANNING! Think about that for a moment.

Uh-oh!

I’ll bet you HATE planning. You might even be one of Einstein’s “crazy” people (doing the same thing, expecting a different result).

Here’s a test:

Are you someone who returns from the store with bags bulging
full of everything BUT the item you went to the store to get?
Has this happened repeatedly?

Hmmmm . . . I’ll bet I’m not the first to mention how helpful making a list could be.
Have you ever wondered why you balk at doing it?

Could it be, perhaps, that list-making adds several more transitions to the task that your subconscious is trying to help you avoid?

Guess what? Your subconscious is not the boss of you!

Now that you know, use your cognitive override.

Make it “easy by default” so that you WILL do it often enough to make it habitual.

Cognitive override has a tendency to fail when we feel rushed, but habits march on without our help.

My OWN Gap Epiphany

I find it extremely difficult to do anything having to do with power tools unless I leave them out, like breadcrumbs. That includes, by the way, “power tools” like vacuum cleaners and leaf blowers, hand mixers and hair dryers — and anything with a cord.

Unless getting-out-the-tools and using them are distinct tasks on my mental To-Do list, I can find myself ruminating in the gap for days, unable to accomplish much of anything at all.

After all, I “should” be putting up the shelves in my office, or blowing the autumn leaves off the porch, or vacuuming, or whipping up my offering for the upcoming potluck, or washing and drying my hair . . . ad naseum.

I certainly can’t allow myself to start something totally unrelated or I’ll never get “it” done.

The Birth of the Breadcrumb

Everything came into focus for me when I wanted a tri-fold screen that wasn’t in my budget. To my creative ADD brain, it seemed likely that I could make one with three long, louvered window shutters and specialty hinges.

Hooboy!

FIRST I had to locate affordable shutters, purchase them, and get them home. Then I needed to repeat the process for the hinges.

And screws — strong enough to keep the screen together through more than a couple of move-arounds, small enough to keep from splitting the wood or protruding into the louvers, with heads large enough to secure the hinges.

Not slot, phillips head screws. I have girl-hands.

I needed to use my cordless drill and a screwdriver bit to put it all together.

Oh yeah, I needed one of those bits that fit the heads of the screws I found.

And then, the snag

All that work and ALL that follow-through — potentially wasted, because I simply couldn’t seem to “find the time” for the part where I actually put it all together.

The project looked like it was about to be my undoing – so many tiers to the task, meaning so many transitions.

THAT’s when I had my aha!

AND THIS is how I taught myself to do it – in five easy steps

(because I really wanted to use that tri-fold screen – and my partner at the time really wanted the shutters out of the hallway)

I built in a stopping point in an earlier activity to get out the drill

A subsequent stopping point was used to retrieve the screws from the silverware drawer I cleverly choose for their temporary home — handy, because I knew I’d want to run to the kitchen to’nuke a cup of coffee at some point, and figured I’d be in and out of that drawer many times every day, so I wouldn’t forget where I’d put them.

I took the time to locate the hinges on my way back from the bathroom, still mid-task on something else.

On my way back from my next potty-break I popped the battery for my drill into the charger to make sure it could make it through the entire process without dying on me.

Popping the battery back on the drill was my “entry task” to get me across the gap the minute my last coaching client hung up the phone.

Once all the tools were assembled, I had no trouble at all “finding the 20 minutes” it took me to put the darned thing together all by myself — wedging the shutters between two chairs until I had them stabilized with top and bottom hinges.

There’s nothing like a bit of mental rehearsal
to make it easy to scatter the breadcrumbs!

Cooperation and SUPPORT

For some of you, getting those you live with to support you as you experiment will be the trickiest part.

If I happened to have been living with a “neat freak” who ranted and raved about my technique, making me wrong if I didn’t wait until I was actually going to use the tools to get them out, it probably wouldn’t have worked. (Nor would it have worked if I had left my “tools” littering the landscape for days, by the way – respect goes both ways!)

Had I met with strong opposition to my one-day test, I probably wouldn’t have been convinced enough it would work to protect myself from doubts and second-guessing.

At the time, I doubt I could have set the “You must STOP insisting that I do things your way, then jumping down my throat when I can’t get things done” boundary around something I wasn’t 100% positive would be successful without further tweaking.

I probably would have abandoned my own self-interest under the pressure of his, and I never would have had the chance to enjoy that screen OR the early stages of my technique that works with gap transitions.

Now I know better.

I wouldn’t make that mistake today, especially now that I know what I need to show up powerfully, and have proof that it works.

The person I have become wouldn’t put up with that controlling and complaining nonsense for a nano-second.

It’s mean-spirited as well as ineffective — and inexcusable behavior from anyone who claims to love me!

NEVER allow yourself to be bullied into attempting to squeeze
your own cognitive style into anyone else’s mold!

And you know what’s really sad?

If I had attempted tasks in a manner that unnecessarily amplified my cognitive challenges, the litter of unfinished projects might have made it seem to Beloved as if the source of my problem was chronic procrastination or passive aggression!

Before I figured out what was going on, it might have seemed that way to me too.

If I couldn’t understand why I was putting off something I really wanted to get done, like that tri-fold screen . . .

I might well have concluded that I was ambivalent about the screen itself.

NOT SO! I’m not ambivalent about any of my goals – all evidence to the contrary sometimes.

If I say I want to do something I’m not doing, I’m stuck on a stopper,
NOT “procrastinating”– and I’ll bet that’s true in YOUR life too.

Some Powerful Questions for you to consider

If you’re wondering if being stuck in the Gap could be the source of a few of your own struggles with follow-through, what would it take to get you to try something different?

How could you use the breadcrumb approach to, for example, make a list before you walk out the door to continue your “insanity?”

Who has to be okay with a sticky note on the door you plan to exit through on your way to the store?

When will you take the time to locate your keys and your wallet?

Where will you put them so that you don’t forget about the note in the scramble to locate them later?

Who has to know not to TOUCH your breadcrumbs?

How will you explain the importance of what you are trying to do so that they don’t?

How will you remember to put your list with your money BEFORE you walk out the door?

BREAD CRUMBS!! And mental rehearsal.

Stay tuned. In upcoming articles we’ll begin to work on the other two transitional modes. Once you understand your transitional challenges, we’ll expand the concept to help you manage a whole lot more than your to-do list.

If you need some help dealing with stuff NOW, check out Domino Problems
(also linked below) for an explanation of “the terror of tiered tasks” and the basics
of ADD/EFD decision making.

Watch for a TTTT Announcement: Keep an eye out for news of an upcoming beta version of a TeleClass where we’ll work through troublesome transitions in a group format: The Transition Tamer TeleClass, Coaching Groups aren’t free, but they ARE a cost-effective way to get more coaching than you might be able to afford one-on-one – and the first time I offer a class is ALWAYS the best deal.

—————————————————————————————————————————————
As always, if you want notification of new articles in the Transitions Series – or any new posts on this blog – give your email address to the nice form on the top of the skinny column to the right. (You only have to do this once, so if you’ve already asked for notification about a prior series, you’re covered for this one too). STRICT No Spam Policy

If you’d like some one-on-one (couples or group) coaching help with anything that came up while you were reading this article (either for your own life, that of a loved one, or as coaching skills development), scroll down to the Brain-based Coaching Link below, or click the E-me link <—here (or on the menubar at the top of every page).

Fill out the form, submit, and an email SOS is on its way to me; we’ll schedule a call to talk about what you need. I’ll get back to you ASAP (accent on the “P”ossible!)
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Transitions: Divide to Conquer

Sunday, June 9, 2013 Leave a comment

The Great Divide

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Excerpted from an upcoming book; all rights reserved
CLICK HERE to begin at the beginning

We start small

We begin with the tedium of to-dos – because the lessons learned will generalize to the bigger changes and transitions that we all must face.

Meanwhile, we must all learn the ways in which we, uniquely, “chop wood, carry water.” ~ mgh

Come, Stay or Go?

The time has come to take a slightly deeper look at Troubles with Transitions.

You can’t begin to figure out how to work with your transition traumas until you make yourself aware of how and where you struggle.

The next article in the Transition Series will focus on The Gap — that supposedly brief period between Transitioning Out of and Transitioning Into.

But don’t skip this one

Almost all of us can be helped by understanding whether we’re having troubles coming or going, and figuring out exactly how each plays out in our very own lives. Awareness is step ONE on the road to change.

Working through – moving on

Your first step is to develop a list of transitions that are particularly difficult for you – that “List of Dreadfuls” described at the end of Transitional Modes. (You are playing along, aren’t you? It only works if you work it.)

Now we are going to look at whether the biggest problem comes from moving out of your current activity or moving into the next item on your list.

Take a careful look, because what you will need to DO to navigate the transition successfully depends upon the transitional mode with which you need the most help. We can only work successfully with one mode at a time.

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ABOUT Alphabet Disorders

Saturday, June 8, 2013 Leave a comment

Alphabet City/Alphabet Soup

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
In support of the ADD Basics Series

Phillip Martin, artist/educator

Welcome to my clubhouse!

Whenever I use “ADD” or “EFD,” know that I am also talking to ALL of the members of a neurodiverse community of individuals who struggle with executive functioning deficits

You’ll often hear me refer
to these struggles as
Attentional Spectrum Disorders.

What I’m actually talking about are individuals who experience “deficits,” in the Executive Functioning mechanism (relative to the so-called “neurotypical” population).

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Filed under A1. The Attentional Spectrum, A1a. Executive Functioning Disorders, A1b. ADD Comorbids etc., ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADDspectrum, Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Executive Function, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Major depressive disorder, Phillip Martin - artist-educator, Posttraumatic stress disorder, TBI help too, Traumatic Brain Injury

In Praise of Complainers

Friday, May 31, 2013 3 Comments

Reframing Complaining

© By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T., MCC, SCAC
Foundational Concepts in the Self-advocacy Series

You have no right to complain . . .

How many times have we heard that one? What in the world is that supposed to mean?

OF COURSE we have a “right” to complain! We all maintain that right, regardless of circumstance. It’s feedback — it communicates to others that something is not right with our universe.

Is the expectation that we will suffer in silence?

Feedback is an essential component of the success of any life lived in the company of others. Nothing works for everybody. How else are we likely to get our needs met, if we don’t provide negative feedback when something isn’t working for us?

Whether one is able to offer feedback in a “charge-neutral” fashion or not, without our negative feedback, the rational assumption is that “all is well.”

If that’s not the case, we MUST “complain” if we ever expect more functionality and life satisfaction than we have right now.

HOW we complain makes a difference, however.

The Self-advocacy Series will take a look at some of the more effective ways to get your needs met, but until you get over some unconscious fear of “being seen as a complainer,” you probably will find it difficult to use any of them.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADDCoaching, Complaint, Distinctions, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Negative feedback, Self-advocacy

Are we hard-wired to focus on the bad news?

Thursday, May 30, 2013 6 Comments

How come the bad stuff sticks
and the good stuff fades??

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Linking and Learning

Musings on the Machinations of Memory

Awakening early today, I had time to justify a rare jaunt through FaceBook to catch up on whatever was going on with my of my life-long friends. I was struck by how very many are struggling with emotional reactions to losing loved-ones to death and dementia.

We are at that stage of life, I suppose, where loss will become something that we must learn to live with more and more.

My thoughts began to take a right turn as I gazed at all of the black and white memorial photos of mothers and aunts and fathers and uncles from days gone by.

Unlined, full of hope, long before brows became furrowed with memories of struggle. How would they have looked in those photos, I wondered, if they could have known what the next five or more decades would hold?

Moving along, “liking” here, commenting there, I came upon a another of those “getting my frustrating day off my chest” posts by one of my FaceBook Friends that began with an interesting reframe, essentially this: I have lived 365 days times my years on this earth. They can’t all be keepers — and this one wasn’t.

While that’s a wonderful lens through which to look at our occasional experiences of “one of those days,“ why CAN’T all the days be keepers?

Why don’t we just cut out the crummy parts and file away what was good about the day?

Why are we so drawn to discussing the dark and dismissing the lighter as fluffy or something? I mean, I’m aware that Pollyanna isn’t exactly everybody’s idea of their favorite role model, but why NOT?

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Filed under A3. Linking & Learning, A5a. Attention & Focus, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, H. Brain Based Coaching/Training Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADDCoaching, explanation, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Memory, Personal development, Reframing

Vision, Mission & Purpose – anchors in an uncertain world

Saturday, May 25, 2013 7 Comments

Developing a Personal Vision, Purpose & Mission

© Developing by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, MCC, SCAC
– part of the What Kind of World Series
and the DreamCatcher™ Program

Designing a roadmap for your BEing through the development of a personal Vision, Purpose & Mission is a HUGE Game to play with your life.

Human Resource Manager promptings to the contrary, not everyone will reach a point where they are ready to work on their Vision, Mission and Purpose — at least not in a manner where it can fulfill its promise as a transformative insight into Identity that will forever alter the steps of your life.

Creating truly authentic Vision, Purpose & Mission statements that will call your life into being usually takes considerably more time and internal focus than most people are prepared to dedicate.

It is a process more globally encompassing than the work and business objectives that are the focus of most of what you will find discussed on the internet.

It’s a Stretch

It’s not an easy process, and is decidedly not for the faint of heart. If you’re not at least a tiny bit frightened or overwhelmed, you’re probably not playing a big enough Game. Embarking on this process calls for nothing less than stepping up and owning your personal power.

You are entering the domain of pure creation.

It may feel a bit like jumping into the deep end of the pool for the very first time. It helps to have a kindred spirit in the water, arms outstretched – it’s as tough to do in an isolated pool as it is dangerous to attempt in a shark-infested tank.

I am in the process of creating mySelf anew, and I invite anyone who is up to it to join me here on this blog during the year I have given myself to focus on re-creation.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B2a. Mentor Coaching, ADD Style, E2. Making a Difference, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD Coaching Series, ADDCoaching, DreamCatcher™, explanation, Goal, Jim Lord, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Motivation, Personal development, personal values, Self-Help, Thomas J. Leonard, vision, Vision-Mission-Purpose, What Kind of World series

Another ADD mile with Kludgy Technology

Thursday, May 23, 2013 Leave a comment

A mile in ADD shoes:
The impact of Kludgy Assistive Technology
on Functional Expectations

source: arthursclipart.org

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

Today’s post started out to be a thought piece.

That is not to say that other posts are unthinking, simply that I had hoped to take you with me on my internal journey as I wandered through an accumulation of impressions gathered during a 10-day bout of Sleeping Sickness.

Sleeping seemed to be its primary symptom — insofar as I can remember — sleeping ’round the clock in a drug-haze as oracles of HULU reruns wafted through my dreams like prowlers.

Too bad there were no drugs.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2b. Midnight Musings Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD perspective, ADDCoaching, Assistive technology, cognitive processing, Empathy, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, metacognition, walking a mile in another's shoes, WordPress.com

Smoking and ADD/ADHD

Thursday, May 9, 2013 4 Comments

Core Benefits

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Another post in the Walking A Mile in Another’s Shoes Series

free-clipart.net

Bear with me, ok? I’m not arguing FOR smoking.

I’m not PLANNING to argue FOR smoking.
Only an idiot would argue for smoking!

But it is NOT also true that only an idiot would smoke.

HOLD YOUR HORSES!!

Sit on your hands if you must, but do your dead-level best to “hear me out” before you make it your business to burn up the keyboard telling me what I already know, ok?

I PROMISE YOU I have already heard everything
you are going to find it difficult not to flame at me.

There is not a literate human being in the United States that hasn’t been made aware of every single argument you might attempt to burn into the retinas of every smoky throated human within any circle of influence you are able to tie down, shout down, argue down or otherwise pontificate toward.

NOW – can you listen for once? I’m not going to force you to inhale. I’m not even trying to change your mind. I would like to OPEN it a crack, however.

If you truly want to get rid of the deleterious effects of all that nasty second-hand smoke, wouldn’t it make some sense to understand why your arguments continue to fall on deaf ears?

Unless you truly believe that saying the same thing for the two million and twenty-second time is going to suddenly make a difference –

or unless you don’t really care whether people stop smoking
or not as long as you get to rant and rave about it –

wouldn’t it make some sense to listen for a moment to WHY some of the people are still smoking?

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD distinctions, Empathy, explanation, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, self-medication, Smoking cessation, Substance abuse, TBI help too, Tobacco smoking, walking a mile in another's shoes

Ghost-writers who are actually ghosts

Thursday, May 2, 2013 Leave a comment

The Ghost Writers Logo – Public Domain, from Wikipedia

Writing of a Different Sort

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC

The article below is from my personal blog on ADDerWorld, “the ADD Facebook” – where, in contrast to the more serious, informational, articles that make up the bulk of ADDandSoMuchMore.com, I let my quirky take on the universe out of the box.

I’m re-posting this particular blogpost, one of my personal favorites, hoping to get more of you interested in hopping over, signing up and seeing what ELSE is available on that site — and maybe to encourage you to let YOUR creativity out of it’s box too.

Life doesn’t have to be so darned SERIOUS all the time – EVEN for serious people.

I hope you enjoy it – and I hope you’re ALSO motivated to check out ADDerWorld.

Expectations set by appearance

Monday, April 29, 2013 9 Comments

The comments to this post add content – don’t miss ‘em!

original source unknown

Getting PAST the Visual?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
A Walking a Mile in Another’s Shoes Post

A recent conversation on a TBI article, Laughter is Brain Injury Medicine – Relieved it’s not me … new what? launches a conversation that deserves an exploration here — thus, the article below.

(Regular readers have probably noted that Edie, a TBI advocate, frequently comments on the articles I put together to help, primarily, a readership that has attentional struggles and challenges. I comment on her blog as well.)

I hope you will take the time to investigate Brain Injury Self Rehabilitation, the blog sustained by the life experiences and research of former nurse Edie Flickinger.

MUCH of the information that she shares about Traumatic Brain Injury is also relevant to the rest of what I call “the alphabet disorders” population: ADD, EFD, ASD, MDD, BPD, OCD, ODD, etc.

Appearance Expectations

In her article, Edie’s point about appearance expectations (they look good, therefore we expect them to “work good”) is something I had never really thought very deeply about in terms of its impact on the functioning of those whom I have coached and trained — at least, not quite so consciously.

Sometimes Size DOES Matter

I have long observed certain manifestations of that particular “expectations set by appearance” dynamic with adults and groups of children.

I have repeatedly noted the greater number of frustrated adults when kids who are much bigger or taller than same-age children struggle with accomplishment (even when a “big” kid performs at a higher level than his or her peers.)

People subconsciously expect a particularly “big” kid to be able to do (or learn, or already know) what they would expect of a child several years older.

If the child performs at an advanced level cognitively or intellectually, it frequently seems to be taken for granted, even discounted (in a manner similar to the way we admonish bigger kids not to physically bully those who are smaller or frailer).

Should the “big” kid be even the slightest bit delayed in development, adult concern can be intense!

“Little” kids (most often if they are female), seem to get a “pass” on functional or behavioral issues more frequently than their “standard-sized” same-age buddies as well — an example of the same dynamic from the other end of the see-saw.

But I’ll bet Edie is absolutely correct that many of our expectations of what a person “should” be able to handle functionally and intellectually are set by appearance standards, regardless of age. After all, we do “dress for success!!”

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD distinctions, ADD implications, ADDCoaching, Brain-based Coaching, cognition, explanation, functional temperature, Juggling, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Taskmaster, TBI help too, walking a mile in another's shoes

Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit

Sunday, April 28, 2013 2 Comments

“Extreme” Self-Care Coaching Lab:

Tending the Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit

by Peggy Ramundo, BS, A.C.T., SCAC
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Speaker’s Content ACO 2013: Part 1

Extreme Self-Care is simple, but not easy
What Is It? Putting your Self at the TOP of your To-Do List!

What follows is a synthesis of Conference Binder materials and Speaker’s Notes from the Coaching Lab presented during the ACO Conference in Atlanta: April 2013

Extreme Self-Care

Extreme self-care is the foundation of a fulfilling life. To experience a high quality life, you need a “high quality you.” The only way to BE at your very best is to DO the very best for you — by making the quality of your life your #1 priority.

Extreme self-care means making intentional decisions about what you want — what brings you peace, joy, and happiness — getting into the zone, where you are in energetic alignment with your Highest Good.

It is about turning a deaf ear to the Should’s espoused by others and by your own Inner Critic.

It is about giving yourself permission to “say no” to those people and things that drain your resources of time and energy and ramp up your feelings of overwhelm.

Why It’s Essential

Remember the instructions flight attendants give passengers traveling with children regarding what to do in the event of a decrease in cabin air pressure?
Put the mask over your nose and mouth first and then over your children’s.

The reason, of course, is that you can’t help anyone else
if you are gasping for air yourself.

“Life is similar: while suffering, suffocating, starved, sapped, or scared,
we are in no condition to assist [a client or] a friend in need,
much less be able to take pleasure in the moment.

Simply put, healthy “selfishness” is necessary for bringing joy
to others as well as to ourselves.” ~ Marcia Reynolds

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B. Coaching Concerns, E2c. ADD Community Support Tagged with ACO Conference Update, ADD and ADHD, ADD implications, ADDCoaching, Extreme Self-Care, Life Balance, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Peggy Ramundo, Spiritual Coaching Resources

Participating in Online Communities for Mutual Support

Friday, April 26, 2013 21 Comments

Why a “Digital Literacy” Introduction?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
See UPDATE 4/27 below

I recently received an invitation from Hazel Owen, a woman introducing herself to me for the first time after her first visit to ADDandSoMuchMore.com.

She became aware of me only because I had “liked” an article written by her (hold that thought – it will relate to unwritten “reciprocity norms” when you read the upcoming article).

Hazel is an education advocate who hosts an online community from New Zealand (which explains some differences in slang and spelling you will find in articles written by her).

I found her voice, her background and her community impressive and fascinating, so I accepted her invitation to blog occasionally on her platform.

In THIS article, she is “returning the favor,” offering us some information I believe our entire community sorely needs — a beginners’ explanation of some of the “rules” of this whole “internet communities” thing! In other words, an introduction to the concept of Digital Literacy (dialogue with her in the comments section if you have questions – this lady KNOWs!)

Internet Alzheimer’s

Regular readers of ADDandSoMuchMore.com are most likely aware of my own technical challenges and frustrations. Most days I feel like a dolt who used to be on top of things.

Although I was once a computer professional myself, it was MANY years ago – decades that might as well be centuries in internet time. The computer world moves rapidly, so practically nothing from those years offers me any help what-so-ever!!

In fact, after almost four years “off-line” as the result of some personal and health challenges, it seems now that my first instincts about how to do practically anything online are almost always wrong-wrong-wrong.

To make matters even worse, the people I asked (even paid!) for help didn’t seem to get it that I was unable to understand even their explanations, such was the depth of my cluelessness.

I had no IDEA how to “work” the software they suggested I download
to “help.”

Other than “scroll” and a few other basic words that meant exactly
what they used to mean, I was almost totally unfamiliar with the
vocabulary they employed as they endeavored to enlighten me.
Sheesh!

Oh goodie, more “in-order-to’s” to master . . . must I now give up bathing
and sleeping to fit it all in?

Hazel to the Rescue!

It turns out, you don’t NEED to be a technical guru to participate in the developing trend toward global connection.

There are a few basics you do need to know to keep from stepping in – um – trouble by violating the social expectations of the rest of Planet Internet.

After that, however, you can develop your “online literacy” at a pace most of us over here on Planet ADD will be able to manage without giving up basic self-care.

And now, without further ado, H-E-R-E-’ s Hazel!

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2d. ADD and Education, Hazel Owen Tagged with Community management, Community Support, Digital Literacy, Education, explanation, Hazel Owen, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, New Zealand, Online community, TBI help too

Reflections on my return: ACO Conference 2013

Thursday, April 18, 2013 6 Comments

I’m B-a-a-a-ck!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

It was WONDERFUL!

Peggy Ramundo and I just returned from co-facilitating the coaching lab at the SIXTH Annual ADHD Coaches Organization [ACO] conference, again in Atlanta. ANOTHER great experience to reflect upon, now that I am home and almost unpacked.

Start saving NOW to BE there next year, in Phoenix, Arizona –
May 2, 3, and 4, 2014 (pre-conference sessions May 1st)
Mark your calendars, and add a line-item to your budget.
[CLICK HERE for the 2014 Conference Page on the ACO website]

I am so grateful to have had another wonderful chance to swap expertise with my colleagues as I got to connect with many whom I’ve known for years, had the opportunity to meet many of my virtual colleagues “live and in person” for the first time, and to be introduced to many more I hadn’t had a chance to meet in any venue. What a feast!

And we had a BALL!

Again, I must second Dr. Charles Parker’s comment in last year’s post-conference article on his Corepsychblog, “If you are an ADHD coach and haven’t yet connected with the ACO . . . now is the time to get on it and get cracking.”

CONGRATULATIONS to the 2013 Conference Chair, incoming president Joyce Kubic (mentored by last year’s chair, Judith Champion), current president Sarah Wright, each of the presenters, the entire conference team and all of the on-site volunteers tasked with keeping the balls in the air in Atlanta.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B. Coaching Concerns, E2c. ADD Community Support Tagged with ACO Conference Update, ADD and ADHD, ADD implications, ADD Treatment, ADDCoaching, ADDspectrum, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Peggy Ramundo

Leaving for Atlanta: ACO 2013

Sunday, April 7, 2013 Leave a comment

It’s almost here -
will I see you there?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I’m leaving Cincinnati on Wednesday morning – yeah, THIS Wednesday morning, April 10, 2013. Yiikes!

At almost dawn this morning, after packing and repacking all night, I finally had to give up and go to BED, even though I still haven’t streamlined my travel wardrobe enough to get it into one single suitcase.

Isn’t that the ADD way?

What IS it about going away that makes it so hard to decide what to wear? So many possibilities, so little time . . . (It must be figuring out the shoes, right?)

To make sure I arrive with my head on straight, this will be my last trip to ADDandSoMuchMore.com until my return a week from this Wednesday. Take advantage of my blogging hiatus to catch up on some of the articles you may have missed. There’s LOTS here I’ll bet most of you have never seen. Click around — it will be brand new to you!

Back on the Speaker’s Circuit!

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B. Coaching Concerns, E2c. ADD Community Support Tagged with ACO Conference Update, ADD and ADHD, ADD Coaching Support Series, ADD implications, ADD Treatment, ADDCoaching, ADDspectrum, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Peggy Ramundo

Good Morning, Angels

Sunday, March 24, 2013 Leave a comment

Reblogged from mrsfringe:

Remember them? By today's standards, it was a sweet show, despite being the beginning of "Jiggle Power" on tv, also known as "Jiggle TV." Funny, the themes and outfits would probably be rated G now, and yet with all the toning, tanning, muscles, and enhancements on the female tv stars you see now, there's nothing natural enough to jiggle.

Now we have different angels.

Little girls do NOT belong in "CALL ME" thongs.

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, SCAC, MCC - ADD Coaching Field co-founder -

"It takes a village to transform a world!"

Demand that Victoria's Secret Remove Line of Teen Lingerie from Stores (sign petition by forcechange.com)
Reblog of "Angels" on The Voice From the Back Seat blog (read her intro & blog comments -- leave yours)
A Letter to Victoria's Secret From a Father (reblog from planet-rawr.com)
The original article above
Victoria's Secret marketing sexualizes tween girls, writers say
Victoria's Secret is Coming for your Middle-Schooler (blacksphere.net)
Victoria's Secret underwear goes after younger teens. And we get to respond. (mom-101.com - with photos of the thongs)

Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2a. Rants; Ruminations Tagged with Advocacy, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Mrs. Fringe, Pedophilia, Personal development, shame, Victoria Secret

The Link between Leadership and Spirituality

Thursday, March 7, 2013 5 Comments

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ADD in the Spirit – why NOW?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series

“It’s time that people were educated to trust something that doesn’t look like them, doesn’t feel like them — is different.

It’s very important that we open every nation to this possibility that, when new things come to us, it is a great possibility, it’s not a threat. ~ Sadhguru

I recently came across a thirty minute ABC News interview by Beverly O’Conner, normally broadcasting on Australia Network TV. It was an interview with a man known primarily as Sadhguru, the founder of the ISHA Foundation, a non-religious, non-profit public service organization that is operated by millions of volunteers across 150 cities.

The ISHA Foundation is headquartered in Southern India, as Sadhguru travels all over the world giving workshops and doing interviews. He is articulate, refreshingly pragmatic, and non-judgmental. My kind of guy, right?

This interview touched on a great many issues that I think about all the time and blog about a great deal of the time, albeit in different words from a very different lens:

stepping into leadership

remaining open-minded

giving back – balancing the energies of receiving and providing service

reaching out in generosity to those who have less

avoiding black and white thinking - ”holding harmless”

the desperate need for a non-incendiary press that respects and enforces the boundary between reportage and “ratings”

– all of which are only some of the components of
a world that works for everyone

.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with ADD implications, ADDCoaching, ISHA Foundation, leadership, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Sadhguru, Spirituality, What Kind of World series

Shame on Shoulds

Sunday, March 3, 2013 Leave a comment

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Assumptions with an Edge

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ~ Brené Brown

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.”
~ C.G. Jung

By the time most of us have learned to talk, we have internalized many of the expectations of each of our respective environments as if they were THE incontrovertible rules of life on earth.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with Language Skills, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, What Kind of World series

When you lose patience with your ADD kid

Friday, February 22, 2013 3 Comments

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Read THIS for an instant Reframe

reposted by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Posted in my FaceBook Feed
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series

No matter how hard it seems,
the longer you persist
the more likely your success.
~ Jack Canfield

Strongest Dad in the World
by Rick Reilly

Eighty-five times he’s pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons.

Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming. and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars – all in the same day.

Dick’s also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike.

Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father?
Not much – except save his life.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with ADD perspective, Advocacy, Courage, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Rick Hoyt, Rick Reilly, What Kind of World series

The Procrastination Puzzle & the ADD Brain-style

Wednesday, February 20, 2013 Leave a comment

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Part 2 about Procrastination –
part of the Intentionality Series, with links
to Organization and Task Completion

from deviantart – by ~F3LiPaO

Organizing Oopses

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC

Review Part I first: Procrastination and Task Anxiety - or “Mr. Amygdalla” comments & “certainty and cognitive dissonance” info will be half as effective as they could be.

Jigsaw Juggernauts

People with the ADD brain-style seem to have difficulty “putting it all together.”

In a “neurotypical” brain, inputs from the outer world (i.e., through our senses) seem, in some fashion we don’t exactly understand, to be recorded with some kind of tagging for sequence.

Metaphorically only, what was observed first gets position #1, while an incoming data bite some 90 seconds later might be “tagged” with something like #321 (and all of the bits and bytes seem to be able to hang on to their little tags until called on to perform!)

That makes it fairly easy for them to call all the bits back and line them up at showtime – for example, when attempting to stay tracked on the threads of a conversation, facilitating dialogue in ways that “make sense” in terms of what is said in response to what, as well as when various pearls of wisdom get dropped onto the conversational ping pong table.

For us – not so much!

When our attention wanders, our brain’s do what all brains do with incomplete pictures: they fill in the holes with what they expect to find there, based on what’s in its “files” of past experience.

The human brain is nothing so much as a pattern recognition machine – a puzzle put-together champ of the highest order.

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Filed under A5b. Activation, A5f. Organization & Task Completion, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADDCoaching, Decision-making, explanation, intentionality, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Phillip Martin - artist-educator, Procrastination, Taskmaster, TBI help too

ADD-ADHD & Underfunctioning: Einstein at the Patent Office

Sunday, February 17, 2013 12 Comments

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Swimming Upstream

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
ADDendum to the 5-Part ADD Overview Series

Quoting loosely from the ADD blog authored by Yale’s Dr. Thomas E. Brown, on the website maintained by Psychology Today. . .

Back when it was believed that anyone with ADD would outgrow those problems by the time they were about 14 years old, ADD was seen as simple hyperactivity, not as a problem with attention and EF (executive functions).

Longer term studies have shown that for about 70-80 % of those with ADD, attentional symptoms tend to persist into adulthood.

This is true even in those individuals where former problems with [gross motor] hyperactivity can no longer be observed.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, E2a. Rants; Ruminations, E2d. ADD and Education, H. Brain Based Coaching/Training Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD implications, Attention, Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Brain-based, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM, explanation, Hyperactivity, Impulsivity, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, New Diagnosis, underachievers

The Link between Procrastination & Task Anxiety

Saturday, February 16, 2013 5 Comments

Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
while you’re reading. They turn red on mouseover.

Part 1 about Procrastination –
part of the Intentionality Series, supporting
Organization and Task Completion

The terror of tiered tasks

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

farm3.staticflickr.com

I’ve developed a new philosophy…
I only dread one day at a time.
~ Charlie Brown
(Charles Schulz)

A tiered task is one where you need to “insert tab A into slot B”, but first you need to insert some other tab into some other slot — which you can’t do until you insert still another tab into still another slot.

That’s it! Most people with attentional challenges can stay tracked for about three “tiers” before they begin to hear the warning signals of impending Boggle and run screaming to avoid it!

I know I do.

Domino Problems*

In an earlier article in a related series, I used a humorous — but not altogether unfamiliar — example to explain the concept of “tiered tasks.”

I walked you through a you-are-there decision tree that made things practically impossible during an attempt to put away groceries in a hopelessly cluttered kitchen.

*From my upcoming book, Stuff and Nonsense – the organizing miracle cure
that doesn’t start with “throw out your stuff”

Don’t go look now — click the link at the END of this article when you’re ready for a humorous example — unless the next section leaves you scratching your head in confusion.

The purpose of that anecdotal example was to illustrate how quickly things get complicated when stuff runs rampant.

Its underlying principle, however, is relevent to the subject of this article as well as the life of every single procrastinator on the planet: how a supposedly simple task becomes more and more complex with each “in order to” — until the task seems far too complicated to undertake at all.

So we don’t.

It certainly may look like chronic procrastination to anyone looking on. And boy howdy do those onlookers love to sling that label around (as if they believed that merely pointing it out would shame you into activation!)

When it doesn’t work, and it rarely does (for more than a step or two, anyway), they lob one of other terms in their arsenal of invectives your way:

LAZY!

Self-sabotaging

Fearful of success (or failure)

Willfully disobedient

Impulsive

Oppositional

Passive-aggressive

Under-achiever!!!

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Self-Harm Specifics – ADD girls at greater risk

Sunday, February 10, 2013 8 Comments

Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
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In the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series
Part III of an article on Self-Injury & CUTTING
Intenational Self-harm Awareness Day – March 1

There are NO graphic photos or descriptions, BUT if you self-injure, make SURE you are emotionally protected so that reading this article will not precipitate an episode. Have a list of substitute strategies available to self-soothe in healthier ways – you are stronger than you think, nobody’s perfect and I’m on your side!

The Cycle of Self-Harm

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
CLICK HERE for Part II: SI/Anxiety link

How Pervasive
is the Problem?

Self-harm, or Self-Injury [SI] can be found with greater frequency in certain disorder-populations than its incidence in the population as a whole.

It has been listed in the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [DSM-IV-TR] as a symptom of borderline personality disorder.

However, according to a 2007 journal-published study it is also found in otherwise high-functioning individuals who have no underlying clinical diagnosis.

(Klonsky, E.D.,”Non-Suicidal Self-Injury: An Introduction” - Journal of Clinical Psychology &
“The functions of deliberate self-injury: A review of the evidence” - Clinical Psychology Review)

Self-harm behaviour [SI] can occur at any age, including in the elderly population. The risk of serious injury and suicide is reportedly higher in older people who self-harm.

Acording to Klonsky, patient populations with other diagnoses who are more likely to be drawn to self-harm as a coping strategy include individuals with the following disorders:

substance abuse and eating disorders

post-traumatic stress disorder

schizophrenia

some of the personality disorders, and
as you might expect if you read the previous section of this article,

ANXIETY disorders

There is disagreement between experts as to whether SI is part of the symptom profile included in these diagnoses, or whether it is actually a separate diagnosis that is comorbid with a number of other diagnoses.

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Filed under A1a. Executive Functioning Disorders, A1b-1 Anxiety, Depression & Mood Swings, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with ADD and Anxiety, ADD-ADHD, ADDspectrum, Advocacy, American Psychological Association, Borderline Personality Disorder, cutting, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Self-injury, TBI help too, The Butterfly Project, What Kind of World series

Understanding the link between anxiety & self-harm

Friday, February 8, 2013 3 Comments

Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
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In the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series
Part II of an article on Self-Injury & CUTTING
Intenational Self-harm Awareness Day – March 1

aaaclipart.com

What do YOU do to beat back anxiety?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Father and Mother, and Me,
Sister and Auntie say
All the people like us are We,
And every one else is They.

“We’re all islands shouting lies to each other
across seas of misunderstanding.”
~ both by Rudyard Kipling

As I said in the first part of this article, introducing
The Butterfly Project, “to my knowledge, cutting and
other types of self-injury are not true ’ADD Comorbids.‘”

ANXIETY, however, is one of the comorbid disorders — BIGtime (although not always at levels that warrant an official diagnosis as a disorder, or so incapacitating it requires medication to manage).

Everybody deals with anxiety

In 25 years of experience in the coaching field, I have found the attempt to avoid feelings of anxiety beneath almost all of the ineffective strategies and maladaptive behaviors I have run across, in both “vanilla” and ADD-flavored coaching situations.

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Filed under A1b-1 Anxiety, Depression & Mood Swings, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with ADD and Anxiety, ADD-ADHD, ADDspectrum, Advocacy, cutting, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Self-injury, The Butterfly Project, walking a mile in another's shoes, What Kind of World series

The Butterfly Project – works for some, not ALL

Wednesday, February 6, 2013 4 Comments

Remember – links on this site are dark grey to reduce distraction potential
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In the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series
Part I of an article on Self-Injury & CUTTING
March first every year is
Intenational Self-harm Awareness Dsy

Warning: If you self-injure, make SURE you are emotionally protected so that reading this article will not precipitate an episode. Have a list of substitute strategies available to self-soothe in healthier ways – you are stronger than you think, nobody’s perfect, and I’m on your side!

Self-harm and healing

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

An Eye-Opener for ALL
(essential for parents & grandparents)

To my knowledge, cutting and other types of
self-injury and self-mutilation are not true
“ADD Comorbids,” but the issue is one that
EVERY parent needs to be aware of.

Outside of suicide,
I’ll bet you a month’s free coaching
that most of you are not.

Your kids are only too aware, however.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with Advocacy, Courage, cutting, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Self-injury, The Butterfly Project, What Kind of World series

The not just ADD not-a-blog Blog

Saturday, February 2, 2013 6 Comments

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.

Evergreens, Information & Neurodiversity

(c) Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

No, not the TREE!

I borrow the meaning of the term “evergreen” from its current usage in the podcasting community, in particular, in reference to Dr. Ginger Campbell’s amazing evergreen podcasts of brain-based information and interviews with leading scientists and science writers in the neuro-fields: The Brain Science Podcast.

“Evergreen,” in this context, refers to content that is not designed to “age-off” — information, written to remain relevant.

On ADDandSoMuchMORE, the content is ALSO designed to build upon itself, providing “background explanation” links for newly written content, rather than making every single post as long as a BOOK!

If you’ve been reading since Day-1, keep up as I post, and can remember what you read, you may not need to jump back to read the older content (300 info-dense articles and counting!)

It’s THERE if you need it, want it, and for newer readers trying to play “catch-up.”

I try to write each article so that it makes sense without a lot of “off-post” background explanation, but you will get A LOT more value from the content if you do click and read the linked information. Your choice.

By the way – I revisit several of the older posts every single week, adding links and content (when indicated) to keep things current.

EVERGREEN!

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD Comorbidities, ADDCoaching, ADDspectrum, Evergreen Content, explanation, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Mental Health, Phillip Martin - artist-educator, Support group, TBI help too

Cognitive Impairment and Dementia Protection

Saturday, January 26, 2013 2 Comments

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Maintaining Cognitive Vitality

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, A.C.T, MCC, SCAC

“A mind equipped with a wide range of
previously formed pattern recognition devices
can withstand the effects of neuroerosion
for a long time.”

~ Dr. Elkhonon Goldberg, PhD, from
The Wisdom Paradox

Our Worst Nightmare

How we hate the idea of losing our
hottie-bodies as we get older!

But that’s not the worst of it.

Probably the most frightening thing — for most of us old enough to truly understand that we will not live forever, anyway – is the idea that we might lose control of our MINDS as we age.

What strikes fear in our hearts is that we’ll lose the links to words, places, our fondest memories, the names of our children — the very things that define our sense of SELF.

Those who have lived with cognitive decline in an up close and personal fashion (in particular, the ravages of any of the dementias in a loved one), frequently report a back-of-the-mind concern that they are looking into a mirror of their future selves.

The first wave of Baby Boomers - that spike in the population statistics once Johnny came marching home from World War II - turned 65 last year.

Wow.

With the third-act aging of more and more of the Boomers, this conversation will become more and more frequent, as those back-of-the-mind concerns rise to conscious awareness.

Take a D-E-E-P breath — you don’t HAVE to lose it as you age!!

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, G3. ADD Coaching Secrets, H. Brain Based Coaching/Training Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADDCoaching, Brain-based Coaching, Brain-based resources, Brain-Based Resources Series, Dementia, Executive Functions, explanation, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, TBI help too, TBI-Traumatic Brain Injury

Sneaky Grief

Wednesday, January 23, 2013 2 Comments

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Whad’ya Mean Sneaky Grief?

(c) Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the Grief & Diagnosis Series - all rights reserved

————————————————————————-
You will get more value out of the articles in this series
if you’ve read Part 1:
The Interplay between Diagnosis and Grief
————————————————————-

Peeling Grief’s Onion takes the TIME it takes!

Nancy Berns, author of Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What It Costs Us has this to say:

It’s wrong to expect everyone else to follow a
formulaic ‘healing process’ aimed at ‘moving on.’ . . .
‘You do not need to “close” pain in order to live life again.”

Here, here! I couldn’t agree more strongly.

We each grieve uniquely, and there are parts of our experience of grieving that will remain in our hearts forever – thank God!

How horrible to think that significant loss might be marked with nothing more dramatic than a nod before moving on forever, thinking no more often about what we have lost than those remnants of a fast-food meal we tossed with last week’s trash.

However, I believe it is equally wrong to avoid handing out a few maps of the territory in our fear of seeming didactic about a process that is one of the most individual of journeys.

There are markers that most of us swim by as we navigate the waters of grief, holding our lives above the waterline as best we can.

I believe that locating ourselves on our particular pathway is an important first step in our ability to navigate successfully – sometimes at all.

Locating ourselves in the grief process is trickier than it might be otherwise, until we understand the concept I refer to as “sneaky grief.”

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Filed under A1c. Dances with Diagnosis, A5g. Distractions & Transitions, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADDspectrum, Diagnosis and Grief, explanation, grief, Kübler-Ross model, Loss, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Mental Health, New Diagnosis, Phillip Martin - artist-educator, Support group, TBI help too

TBI Recovery - like life on the high seas

Monday, January 21, 2013 2 Comments

Reblogged from Broken Brain - Brilliant Mind:

I've heard it said that it takes about seven years of recovery for a person to start feeling "like themself" again after traumatic brain injury. That sounds about right to me. And now that I've been at it (actively) since 2007, I'm coming up on seven years -- next year.

What a long, strange trip it's been. From nearly losing everything, to sabotaging job after job, to watching my friends go away, to the relationship/marriage troubles and health issues, to slowly building myself back...

Some HELP for the Grieving

Thursday, January 17, 2013 11 Comments

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What to DO while we’re peeling the onion

Another adorable Phillip Martin graphic

(c) Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part 2 of a two-part article in the
Grief & Diagnosis Series - all rights reserved

————————————————————————-
You will get more value out of the articles in this series
if you’ve read Part 1:
The Interplay between Diagnosis and Grief

Click BELOW for Part ONE of this article:
Onions, Diagnosis, Attention and Grief -
Dealing with Grief is like Peeling an Onion
————————————————————-

In Part One of this article, we talked about some of the ways in which dealing with grief is like peeling an onion, and we discussed the fact that it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish grief from depression.

I encouraged you not to automatically discount the idea of pharmaceuticals if you feel you are not able to cope very well at all, and discouraged the impulsive from self-medicating. I also encouraged you to trust your insticts about what YOU need.

I went on to give you a few specifics to help explain what that frequently mentioned “trouble sleeping” might look like in your life.

Following some brief information about the benefits of normalizing, I included a bit of self-disclosure about my own current struggle with grief to further help normalize what you may be experiencing. I left you with this:

Peeling grief’s onion takes the time it takes. There ARE no shortcuts.

While it is certainly true that we cannot shorten the process, there are many things we CAN do to avoid lengthening it. That will be the focus of the remainder of this particular 2-part article in the Grief Series.

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Onions, Diagnosis, Attention and Grief

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 14 Comments

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.

Dealing with Grief is like Peeling an Onion

Another adorable Phillip Martin graphic

(c) Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part 1 of a two-part article in the
Grief & Diagnosis Series - all rights reserved

————————————————————————-
You will get more value out of the articles in this series
if you’ve read Part 1:
The Interplay between Diagnosis and Grief.
————————————————————-

An article entitled Helpful Tips for Coping with Grief, available on the HealthCommunities Website, asserts that “Grief is a normal response to loss.”

By ”normal,” no doubt, they are referring to a state that is to be expected in an emotionally healthy human being.

The ten paragraph, ten part, ten web-pagelet article goes on to say quite a few helpful things about grief, many of which I am going to recontext in this series, along with exploring other assertions about grief and the grieving process that have long been accepted as universally relevant.

Because I think we need to reopen that book!

I’d like to begin by expanding upon the HealthCommunity’s second item today:
Feelings of grief [are] often progress in different stages.
It begins by underscoring an important point
we must all endeavor to keep in mind:
Every person grieves differently.

“For some people, intense feelings — sometimes called the “throes of grief” — can last quite awhile. People who are grieving may go through 5 stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Grief may not involve all of these and they don’t necessarily occur in order.

A number of difficult emotions are associated with grief — from feeling numb, to shock, sorrow, loneliness, fear, guilt and anger.

People who are grieving may be in pain, physically and emotionally, have trouble sleeping, lose interest in eating or activities and have difficulty concentrating and making decisions.”

I especially appreciate their careful use of qualifiers like “often”, “may,” and “don’t necessarily.”

My primary reason for quoting them, however, is to introduce some of my own conclusions about WHY grief seems to involve layers of processing, and WHY we don’t proceed apace from one to the other.

But first, lets talk about that onion for a minute.

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ADDer’s Got TALENT!

Monday, January 14, 2013 2 Comments

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Getting OUT of our Boxes: Reframing “talent”

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Getting ready for the 2013 ACO Conference in April

This year’s conference, again in Atlanta, will be the largest group of ADD/ADHD Coaches ever gathered. Come meet your colleagues and bask in the glow of ADD-literate transformation.

Over 100 ADD Coaches have already registered.

We can make room for MANY more *IF* we have sufficient time to change the numbers with the hotel so that they can arrange the logistics BEFORE they sell the meeting and sleeping rooms to some other group.

CLICK over to ACO and register soonest!

A VERY different ADDed Attraction

Judith Champion (2012 ACO Conference Chair), Peggy Ramundo and I are organizing the first ACO Talent Show — this year in honor of the late Kate Kelly (Peggy’s You Mean I’m NOT Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! and ADDed Dimension co-author).

Dean Solden (husband of Journeys through ADDulthood and Women with Attention Deficit Disorder author Sari) will be working his magic on the piano and acting as MC once more — as in the ADDA years, for those who remember those amazing (and hilarious) Talent Shows.

There will be a special video put together by comedian Rick Green (of ADD and Loving It fame), with edited out-takes from some of the footage from the original video that gained national prominence when it was featured on Public Television.

And YOU – let’s not forget to mention the STARS of this show!

Come to the Cabaret! Those of us who have been around practically forever are beyond eager to embrace our newer colleagues, and to reconnect with those we seem to meet only at conferences of this type.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B. Coaching Concerns, F3. What kind of World do YOU want?, G4. Mentoring the ADD Coach Tagged with ACO Conference Update, ACO-ADHD Coaches Organization, ADD and ADHD, ADD Coaching Support Series, ADD in the Spirit Coach Training, ADDCoach Programs, ADDCoaching, Coaching, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Peggy Ramundo, Personal development

Endings and New Beginnings

Saturday, January 12, 2013 12 Comments

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Graduation for Another Class of
ADD Coaches

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

From 8:30 P.M. until a bit after 10:00 Wednesday night, January 9, 2013, Peggy Ramundo and I had another opportunity to witness Life Purpose in Action, as we attended the final class session of the 2012 Class of the ADD in the Spirit Coach Training.

The small class of individuals about to graduate delivered the content for us.

As always, we came away renewed, inspired, and grateful for the opportunity to be in a position to touch the lives of so many amazing human beings — and to step with them through the journey of training themselves to be of service in a field that didn’t even exist thirty years ago.

It is always fascinating to me to see how many different experiences result from the same training, additional examples of my firm assertion that “There ain’t no IS about ADD!”

Climbing up the Mountain, taking time to look DOWN

In addition to a group exam, one of the final assignments is a Personal Reflection Paper, where each student looks back along their training journey to see how far they’ve come, to attempt to determine what had been of particular value to them.

Wednesday night, they shared their papers with each other and with us.

Each has grown during the year they spent with us, each in his or her own individual fashion, and some in ways they were surprised to discover.

An individual whose pre-ASCT life had been focused more on pragmatics (who enrolled here in spite of the spiritual focus of this particular ADD Coach Training) became fascinated by meditation and Tapping [EFT], now a regular part of life;

Another individual, with a background of spiritual training who came because of it, will be using skills learned here in the corporate arena in a traditionally non-spiritual field!

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, B. Coaching Concerns, F3. What kind of World do YOU want?, G4. Mentoring the ADD Coach Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD in the Spirit Coach Training, ADDCoach Programs, ADDCoaching, Coaching, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Peggy Ramundo, Personal development

My Wrinkle in Time: HOW does time fly?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012 16 Comments

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What Makes Time Fly?

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
a light-hearted introduction to So-Much-More about Time

For over a quarter of a century now, I have been fascinated with anything related to the topic of the awareness of the passage of time.

My secret fascination with the mechanics of time’s awareness began long before I first learned that I seem to be one who was born without that internal tic-tic-tock with which most people DO seem to have been equipped, part of the standard package.

I’ve been told I can’t get one now, even as an after-market upgrade.

I first began to wonder how anybody managed to
keep track of time when I was a very young child.

I had no idea there was such a thing as an inner
time-sense until I was diagnosed with ADD.

I was 38 years old.

From the moment my mother first read me the story of Alice in Wonderland, I felt more of a kinship to the “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” White Rabbit than to Alice.

I can’t recall a time before my mid-twenties when somebody wasn’t rushing me along for one reason or another.

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Filed under A5c. TimeSteps™, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, G5k. TimePeace™ Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD implications, ADDCoaching, ADDhumor, Brain-based, Circadian rhythm, explanation, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Time

Variations on ADD-ADHD

Saturday, December 8, 2012 1 Comment

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From the Brain-Transplant Series

ADD Information you NEED to know!
from THE ADD Poster Girl: Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC

to grok the concept of these posts, click:
ABOUT The Brain-Transplant Series
(where you will find links to other posts in the Brain-Transplant Series)

Whad’ya mean“Variations?”

GOOD question!

Here are just a few of the answers:

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Filed under A1. The Attentional Spectrum, A1b. ADD Comorbids etc., A1c. Dances with Diagnosis, A6. Brain Transplant Series, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, Variations on ADD/ADHD Tagged with ADD and ADHD, ADD Comorbidities, ADD perspective, ADD/ADHD Resources, ADDspectrum, Brain Transplant Series, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Mental Health, TBI help too

Stages of Grief following Diagnosis

Thursday, December 6, 2012 4 Comments

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Exploring the Stages of Grief following Diagnosis

(c) Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the Grief & Diagnosis Series – all rights reserved

It’s A Process

In the previous article, I introduced some of the predictable stages of grief that we cycle through on the way to a Positive Acceptance of a diagnosis.

I use the term “Positive Acceptance” to refer to the developmental stage where we are able to incorporate a vision of the future that can include our diagnosis without allowing it to define our vision for ourselves and our lives.

We have reached the stage of Positive Acceptance when we are able to embrace our potential for incorporating change as development, affirming that healing and growth can, has and will occur in expected and unexpected ways — and that new opportunities will arise for which we have been uniquely prepared by the process of getting to this stage.

Given the tendency in our community to hyperfocus on rumination, when we are presented with a strong stimulus that triggers the release of adrenalin we tend to agonize! As I said in the introductory article, ”it is only when we become ‘stuck’ in one of the phases of post-diagnosis grief that most of us take the time to stop to wonder what is going on with us and why we can’t ‘just get on with it.’”

What IS Going On?

One of the “problems” with adrenaline release is that it activates our fight-flight-freeze response, with its attendant shut-down of the prefrontal cortex [PFC] centers essential for what are termed the Executive Function.

Many of us with “alphabet disorders” [ADD, EFD, TBI, ASD] seem to have what I call “hair-trigger startle responses.” As a consequence, we often seem to get stuck far more often than our non-ADD peers.

It is my experience that everyone gets stuck when PFC shutdown occurs, it just happens more often and more dramatically to those of us with deficits in the realms of the attentional spectrum.

That’s the good news as well as the bad news, by the way, but let’s explore some brain-basics before we expand on that idea — and before we explore each of the stages of post-diagnostic grief at the end of this article. (Stay with me here – it will help things make more sense)

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HEADS UP ADD Coaches: ACO Conference 2013

Wednesday, December 5, 2012 Leave a comment

ACO 2013 is ramping up – sign up soon to save

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

You Mean I’m NOT Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! author Peggy Ramundo and I will again be “presenting” together at the 6th Annual ADHD Coaches Organization [ACO] conference, at the beautiful Crowne Plaza Hotel in Atlanta one more time – facilitating, actually, a live-and-in-person Coaching Lab with practice, practice, practice (and no-make-wrong group feedback).

And that’s only ONE good reason to be there!

I want to repeat Dr. Charles Parker’s comment in his 2012 post-conference article on his Corepsychblog, “If you are an ADHD coach and haven’t yet connected with the ACO . . . now is the time to get on it and get cracking.”

Joyce Kubric, the 2013 conference chair (mentored by last year’s chair Judith Champion), has put together a conference team of amazingly generous individuals who are working like beavers to make this an experience like no other.

This year’s presenters have been chosen, and you can click over to the ACO website to see what’s coming together in that regard. (Along with, oh yeah, signing up to BE there).

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How Cheap, really, IS talk?

Sunday, December 2, 2012 4 Comments

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For sale at spreadshirt.com

Just DO It!?

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the Creativity Series – all rights reserved

——————————————————–
Talk is cheap. Words are plentiful.
Deeds are precious. ~ H Ross Perot
—————————————————

Get OVER Yourselves!

There are A LOT of reasons why that ubiquitous advice to “Just DO It” seldom really works, but they’re rarely considered when those “tough love” so-called motivators mount their high horses.

It is a worse than lousy motivator unless it comes at exactly the right moment and for exactly the right reasons to exactly the right person.

Impulsives won’t be helped by that kind of encouragement.

Individuals at a crossroad in their lives would benefit more from a bit of that cheap talk before they Just DO anything.

Teens, already too much under the influence of peer pressure, certainly don’t need that kind of message tossed out like a dare.

There are folks, I suppose, who need that little kick-in-the-butt flavor of encouragement, and rare times when almost all of us could probably use it. Those particular words, however, are more likely to activate our resistance than inspire our action, especially those of us with a higher than average oppositional piece to our make-up.

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Filed under A5g. Distractions & Transitions, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder Tagged with ADD perspective, ADDspectrum, cognitive reframing, explanation, follow-through, Just Do It, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Mental Health, Motivation vs. activation, Support group, TBI help too, The Creativity Series, Thomas J. Leonard

Lessons from a Young Blogger

Monday, November 26, 2012 3 Comments

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Doing his Part for Peace through Education

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series

A very young relative of one of my favorite TBI Advocates** has started blogging. I have great admiration the intellectual courage of the young!

Were we ALL so brave once?

It seems that his first language is not English. His blog, however, is in English.

He is eleven years old, and is allowing himself to learn about blogging “on the fly.”

He is willing to risk reaching out to ask for help – and for American readers.

I visited intially to encourage his efforts, simply because I like to do that sort of thing.

After reading one of his posts I began to think that he had a real talent for communication that I would really like to see him develop.

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Filed under ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, F3. What kind of World do YOU want? Tagged with Advocacy, Allah, Courage, Jim Lord, Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, What Kind of World series

Is Creativity like a Sense of Humor?

Saturday, November 24, 2012 14 Comments

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Humor and Creativity

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
#1 in the Creativity Series

Have you heard the one about the old
Borscht-Belt comic’s dying words?

As his end draws near, his buddy squeezes his hand and affirms, empathetically, “Dying is hard.”

Without missing a beat, the comic replies, his last words on this earth,
“Dying is easy — comedy’s hard.”

————————————-
The anecdote supposedly has some basis in truth, by the way -
check out The Quote Investigator for more about it

True story or “urban legend,” told as a joke, the anecdote underscores one view about comedy - that it is a skill that can be learned, and that it takes work to hone it.

And maybe NOT

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Filed under A3. Linking & Learning, ADD | ADHD | Attention Deficit Disorder, G2. Rewrite Your Coaching Manual, H. Brain Based Coaching/Training Tagged with ADD and Creativity, Comics, Creativity, Creativity in Education, Humour, TBI help too, The Creativity Series

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How do you KNOW? And what do you do with that belief?

Facts, Suppositions, Extrapolations & Opinions

Background

Please share--it's how ideas spread!

Like this:

Transitions: Into, Out of & AROUND The Gap

We start small

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Stuck in the GAP

Do whatever you must to AVOID THAT GAP!

Your subconscious knows you very well.

My OWN Gap Epiphany

The Birth of the Breadcrumb

And then, the snag

There’s nothing like a bit of mental rehearsal to make it easy to scatter the breadcrumbs!

Cooperation and SUPPORT

Now I know better.

And you know what’s really sad?

Some Powerful Questions for you to consider

BREAD CRUMBS!! And mental rehearsal.

Related articles on ADDandSoMuchMore.com

The Transition Series (links turn red on mouseover, ONLY when they’re ready to go)

Other related articles here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com

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The Great Divide

We start small

Come, Stay or Go?

Working through – moving on

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Alphabet City/Alphabet Soup

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You have no right to complain . . .

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How come the bad stuff sticks and the good stuff fades??

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Developing a Personal Vision, Purpose & Mission

It’s a Stretch

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A mile in ADD shoes: The impact of Kludgy Assistive Technology on Functional Expectations

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Core Benefits

HOLD YOUR HORSES!!

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Getting PAST the Visual?

Appearance Expectations

Sometimes Size DOES Matter

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“Extreme” Self-Care Coaching Lab:

Tending the Mind, Body, Heart and Spirit

Extreme Self-Care

Why It’s Essential

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Why a “Digital Literacy” Introduction?

Internet Alzheimer’s

Hazel to the Rescue!

And now, without further ado, H-E-R-E-’ s Hazel!

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I’m B-a-a-a-ck!

It was WONDERFUL!

And we had a BALL!

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It’s almost here - will I see you there?

Back on the Speaker’s Circuit!

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Little girls do NOT belong in "CALL ME" thongs.

How do you KNOW?
And what do you do with that belief?

Transitions:
Into, Out of
&
AROUND
The Gap

There’s nothing like a bit of mental rehearsal
to make it easy to scatter the breadcrumbs!

The Transition Series
(links turn red on mouseover, ONLY when they’re ready to go)

How come the bad stuff sticks
and the good stuff fades??

A mile in ADD shoes:
The impact of Kludgy Assistive Technology
on Functional Expectations

It’s almost here -
will I see you there?

How Pervasive
is the Problem?