What’s up with Twinkly Lights?


LightsWhy don’t they drive EVERYBODY Crazy?
(Searching for the quiet kind!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Oh dear, it seems that a bit of Monday grumpiness is about to bleed through my Christmas Happy Christmas series.  But somebody has to stand up and be counted, and I’m up for the job!

Flickering Candlelight is lovely – artificial, not so much

I’m old enough to remember when lights were either ON or off – unless, of course, they were dying.  We replaced lights that flickered post haste.

BubbleLightIn my mind, bubble lights marked the beginning of the “lights that oscillate” fascination. They’re the earliest “moving” lights I can recall, in any case.

In yet another amazingly comprehensive entry, wonderful Wikipedia** says:

“As Christmas lights, bubble lights were very popular during the 1950s through the 1970s, before miniature ‘fairy’ lights became popular.”

Vintage Christmas collectors sometimes use them still, and I believe there is a new version back on the market  for fans of Mid-Century Modern — so it’s not necessary to have been around back in the Dark Ages to have seen bubble lights.  Many people absolutely adore them.

I find the buggers distracting and annoying myself.

**Wikipedia is currently fund-raising, by the way.

They say that if everyone using them donated three measly dollars, their fund raiser would be over in an hour.

Add them to your Christmas Giving list, skip a cup of Starbucks and go give them at least $3.00.

Even if you’ve never explored “the people’s encyclopedia,” think of it as your share of how much I backstop with Wikipedia as I write the articles I gift to you here.

If you click the link to their Bubble article (their name above), the link to their donate page will be at the top of that article until they’ve reached their goal – the minimum they need to run for another year.

If you’re reading this later, don’t think they no longer need the money! The link to their donate page is always available for you on the right sidebar here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com – so go DO that, okay?

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ALL I want for Christmas is . . .


A Shih Tzu Puppy
I’ve been so lonely since my little Tabitha died

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I guess Santa got my letter

Some of you were aware that I finally decided that, apartment ready or not, sharing my life with another Shih Tzu was exactly what the doctor ordered to turn this miserable year around.

I’d love to be able to rescue but, like almost everything else, it’s a bit more complicated in my case.  I am highly allergic to all cats and almost every other breed of dog, so if I am to remain breathing I must make sure the animal I live with is a purebred Shih Tzu.

Source: officialshihtzuclub.com

Source: officialshihtzuclub.com

The very idea of buying a dog activates my own black and white thinking – in spades!

After much investigation, I finally found a breeder I trusted, put a deposit down before making final payment on one of the most adorable little puppies I’ve ever seen.  I was just about to hop on a plane to go get the little guy when everything blew up in my face.

Won’t anything ever go right again? was my reaction,
tears of disappointment streaming down my face.

If you’ve been following along since the gang mugging, resulting medical drama, forced move, FOUR repeats of iPhone failure, the auction where everything in my rented storage space was sold after they couldn’t reach me by phone, etc. – this year alone - you’ll understand that was not quite the over-reaction it might otherwise seem to be.

Getting back on the horse

On the recommendation of Lynn Fontaine, the wonderful and spiritually generous original breeder, I spoke with Twana of Pe-Kae Treasures – a breeder she had known for quite a while (and only a day trip away by car).

SO . . . while this article auto-posts, Peggy Ramundo and I are in her car and on our way to pick up my little Christmas puppy.

Oh yes, there really IS a Santa Claus!

ShihTzu in car

Source: officialshihtzuclub.com

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Wanna’ see a photo of HIM?

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Neuroflexyn: BUYER BEWARE


Lack of information vs. marketing is suspicious
Read with your brain engaged

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Non-Pharm Alternatives Series

Preliminary findings: short and not so sweet

For those of us with Executive Functioning Dysregulation issues [EFD], a new product on the performance enhancement market touted as the Viagra for the Brain sounds like a nootropic answer to a prayer.

You may have heard about it as EVO, “the Limitless Pill” (E-Huperzine) – credited as the genesis of the idea for the film. The buzz about Neuroflexyn increased rapidly after Limitless became a Box Office smash hit and publicly referenced Neuroflexyn as its inspiration.

Here’s what the folks at smartSMARTER have to say about the product in their introduction to a clearly marked ADVERTISEMENT (designed nonetheless to look like something else):

We expose the truth behind a ground-breaking pill that has many experts furious. Studies have revealed it boosts brain power by up to 89.2%, sharpens your mind and sky-rockets your energy levels. With such overwhelming evidence and media mention, the question is not whether the pill works, but whether it should be legal.

EF_pieChart_brainToo good to be true?

A plethora of marketing-posing-as-information articles make some pretty amazing claims about the benefits of Neuroflexyn. I’ll admit that I was tempted to purchase as I read them – which is what launched me on the informational research trail.

Product marketing swears that Neuroflexyn has been “proven” to significantly increase IQ as it enhances memory, concentration, intentional focus — productivity practically across the board, in fact.

In addition, again according to their marketing, this new “supplement” dramatically increases cognition and intelligence with NO reported side effects.

Ahem! As you may already be aware, the FDA does not currently regulate supplements. Whether or not that is ultimately a good thing or turns out to be a lousy way to attempt to protect the public, it does mean that this new product currently flies beneath FDA radar.

The manufacturer can pretty much claim anything they want
in their attempt to sell their product.

It is up to us to determine how ethical they appear to be, in contrast to any eagerness to part us from our wallets by any means available, in service of corporate profitability.

Not to seem to have joined some Royal Society of Skeptics, my Boomer lifetime of experience has taught me that whenever something sounds too good to be true, it usually is (not true, that is).

NEXT year’s stocking stuffer, maybe

Stocking

Before any of YOU put any of your hard-earned Christmas cash into a product trial – as a gift or for yourself – take a few moments to read what I have to say about why you might want to wait until more results are in.

In addition to other reasons I’m skeptical, I always advise caution any time product marketing attempts to manipulate us into buying — rather than enticing us into that action with information designed to help us to come to a decision.

I DO NOT Heart Scare Tactics

It seems to be a popular “ask for the sale” approach to attempt to sweeten response rate with text urging readers to take hasty action for fear of losing some advantage or opportunity if they take a day or more to think things over or investigate other options.

Neuroflexyn’s marketing game-plan seems to be to set up “Big Pharma” as the bogey-man, supposedly intent on shutting down Neuroflexyn production because it is “competition” for the profitability of their pharmaceutical products.

Uh-huh – so buy now or regret it when
Neuroflexyn is taken off the market?

I guess that implies that one must seriously stock up from the very beginning – just in case it really does work – to ensure access to a continued supply during the upcoming fight for manufacturing rights.  Let’s all go get right on it, then!

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ADD and Christmas too!


An Overwhelming Season for SO Many
(WAY too many To-dos in SO many categories for one short month)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

How does ANYBODY fit everything in?

Even the neurotypical crowd gets a bit of a taste of ADD/EFD overwhelm as Christmas rapidly approaches — especially those who just went overboard on the Thanksgiving extravaganza.

But those of us who have brains that are ALREADY struggling to manage life’s ordinary details can easily go down with Santa’s ship – turning what could be a terrific break from the everyday struggles into the cluttered ADD/EFD version of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

So Much to Decorate – so little time!

The days when Christmas decor was limited, essentially, to hanging a few stockings and trimming a tree seem to have disappeared like Brigadoon.

NOT that I’m actually complaining about that, understand.
I would have invented “Deck the Halls” if somebody hadn’t beaten me to it.

But even if I had “start early” genes in my DNA, to avoid public censure one really must wait to start displaying Christmas-y items until the season-long summer heat wave has subsided and the autumn leaves have had their 15 minutes of fame (unless one runs a Christmas Shop, which I’ve actually considered – for exactly that reason!).

In the minds of most people, the day after Halloween seems to be an acceptable — albeit incredibly EARLY — start-date for decking  (though I can’t, for the life of me, understand their objections to a larger buffer as a running start!)

Pinterest helps, of course – sort of

Nobody seems to object or poke too much fun at Christmas PINS – even long before Halloween costumes have become the only vision in the heads of little kids everywhere.

I began pinning inspiration images quite early this year, hoping they would help me develop a realistic game plan for Christmas AS I organized my new digs following my recent move.

Oops – THAT little “assist” has now become part of the problem.
I mean, what ADDer needs help dreaming up new things to do?

A woman who already has FOUR full-sized trees with as many decorating themes (and several more table-tops and minis) has NO business trying to remember to look for a thrift-store colander to spray-paint red as stand for her “visions of sugarplums” kitchen tree.

She shows even less sanity pinning a link to a tutorial on how to make a Christmas tree from a tomato cage.

Does that matter?  NOT ONE WHIT. See the problem?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Happy Belated Sinterklaas! December 5


Good Little Dutch Girls & Boys
found presents in their wooden shoes Friday night

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

A bit of explanation

From the analysis of the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas on the [mostly Dutch-language] blog of Samhildanach, a Dutch religious studies scholar says:

click image for source (in Dutch)

“Sinterklaas is the festival of St. Nicholas of Myra . . . [which is surrounded by] a lot of mythology . . . although little of that is commonly known.

This saint is portrayed as a venerable man in a red and gold bishop’s gown . . . Principally, the festival is meant for young children to around the age of eight.

The young . . . believe that Sinterklaas lives in Spain [and] visits the Netherlands every year in a steam ship, accompanied by his helpers, the dark-skinned Zwarte Pieten ‘Black Petes’, dressed in frivolous colours, to offer presents to all [well-behaved] children.

Those [who] have been naughty risk [being] caned by Zwarte Piet, or in extreme cases, [being] forced in the sack and taken back to Spain.”

The article goes on to explain that the period of Sinterklaas begins at some point in November every year – a national, televised event when St. Nicholas of Myra arrives at the dock, disembarking with his white horse and his attendant(s).

“From this moment on, the children [may] put down their shoes in front of the hearth. [. . .] The morning after, a small present will be in their shoes.

The festival is mainly celebrated in the Netherlands, but there are some local variations to be found in Belgium and Germany, encompassing differentiated local traditions.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Christmas Happy Christmas


Oh the weather outside’s not frightful
(But inside it’s about to get delightful)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

WinterSnowMartin

A Quick Reminder

From now until Twelfth Night – January 6th, when any sensible ADDer plans to celebrate the big present fest – I am going to replace the Monday Grumpy Monday series with Christmas Happy Christmas.

My regular Wednesday articles will all probably have a “getting ready for the upcoming holidays” theme as well.

This is Monday replacement #1.

Tannenbauming

Since I leave the trees up for so long (yes, trees – plural), there is no way any live tree would make it through the length of my particular holiday season.

Every single one would be a stick, long before I was ready to take it down — surrounded by a carpet of needles that I would track all over the house.

So I am especially grateful that artificial trees have become so realistic-looking in the last decade or so.  Not that it would really matter — eventually.

By the time I cover them with years and years of ornaments, it’s difficult to tell what’s underneath!

But I try to put my trees up very early and decorate as I find dribs and drabs of time — so I really like them to look as real as possible during the period they are comparatively naked.

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A Visit from St. What’s-his-Name


Source: click graphic

ALL Sources: click graphics

ADD and Christmas Too
“Reprint” of something wonderful from years ago

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

One of my FAVORITE Presents

Janine Baker, one of my long-time best friends, is one of the most fabulously creative people I know. Although she does not have ADD herself, she GETS it, “thanks” to an up-close-and-personal relationship with me (and the fact that she was an early graduate of my ADD Coach Training),!

She also gives some of the very best presents, so when I tell you that this poem she wrote many years ago for my first website is among my top favs, understand that it has some stiff competition.

She gifted me the copyright along with the poem, so I own all rights to it.

If you share it (and I hope you WILL), you must provide a link back to this post and credit both sources below.  (It is slated for inclusion in an upcoming ADD Anthology, so don’t drop out “ownership”  and link or things might get legal, okay?)

AND NOW . . . moving right along to one of the most clever of the versions of the rewriting of Clemens’ original — ESPECIALLY for ADDers and ADD Coaches!

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Happy Thanksgiving – make way for Christmas


Sorry to be so Late
(The stores have been ready since September)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Fair warning: This is not going to be a rant about the season.

Grab a drink (you’re likely to need one)

Turkey_Drinks

Anyone who knows me, even a little, will attest to the fact that I’m a card-carrying Christmas ELF – a regular Emmy Lou Who**.

I simply LOVE Christmas – the whole Christmas season (“Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason”**)

-————
**Both from How the Grinch Stole Christmas
by Theodor “Dr. Seuss” Geisel

I start thinking about digging out my humongous collection of Christmas CDs of ALL types the very first day the horrid summer heat wave shows signs of dipping below 80.

I ESPECIALLY love Christmas decorations.

I like to deck the halls with a-whole-lot-more than boughs of holly!

I’m big on trees and wreaths and stockings, and candles and garlands, and Santas, sleighs and reindeer – and nutcrackers, and sugar plums — and Byers Choice Carolers (which I have been collecting since before anyone else even knew who Joyce Byers was!)

Carolers

click image for source

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Below the Radar Make-Wrong


I am NOT amused
- with a Top Ten List of Types of Criticism
that I never want to hear AGAIN -

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Mean Come-backs I wish I could have said

Criticism in all its forms seldom works as designed.  Instead of helping us make better choices, criticism makes us defensive – and then we have to figure out how to respond.

I have never been able to respond very well in the moment – my startle response closes most of the pathways that might grant me access to what is otherwise a pretty fine brain.

source: http://www.1099.com/c/co/gw/na/naustin029.html
source: http://www.1099.com/c/co/gw/na/naustin029.html

Why are they voting on MY life?

When slapped across the face with a negative comment, especially one that is little more than a vehicle for make-wrong, I seem to struggle to come up with even a one sentence response — except a mean one, of course, which I reject out of hand.  Tit for tat has never been my style.

Since I’m not a fan of the eye-for-an-eye, tooth for a tooth manner of doing life, which leads only to a world filled with the blind and toothless, it often feels like I have to choice but to suffer the sting in silence.

Only later, as negative comments echo and RE-echo, do I dream of a million ways I could have responded without violating my core value of kindness.

Wouldn’t you think that, by now, I’d have an arsenal of come-backs to use the next time somebody makes me wrong?  Nope – because most of life’s criticism comes disguised as something else.

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Do you love THIS Raymond?


Everybody Loves Raymond

(from an upcoming book, The Impulsivity Rundown © - all rights reserved)

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of The Challenges Inventory™ Series

It’s impossible to keep a straight face around Raymond – he can make anybody laugh! Where does he come up with all the craziness that comes out of his mouth?

The sky’s the limit for this guy — TONS of potential — they say he really should be a stand up comic or a talk show host. He’d make a million.

People would pay just to hear him laugh.  Really.  He is the essence of fun.

He’s smart, can DO practically anything, and has tried to do practically everything.  He is just the nicest guy you’d ever wanna’ meet.

He got so many responses to his profile on “Find Your Soul-mate” he barely had time to meet any of them because of the hours and hours he spent following up online. Most of the dates he did make started out badly when he was so darned LATE, but Ray was able to turn things around (that date, anyway).

Talk about selling snow to Eskimos — Ray wrote the book!  He seems to be able to talk anybody into ANYthing (as long as they don’t get to know him too well!)

Even his exes find it hard to find a bad thing to say about the guy.  Except that, Nobody could live with him.  He’d drive anybody crazy.”

That’s a real shame, too, because Raymond would really like to find his soul mate . . .  and his ideal job . . .  and a group of friends that isn’t always trying to change him in a million little ways (or help him get into hot water).

  • He has no idea how he keeps messing up one good relationship after another.
  • He’s always surprised when he finds out that his job is on the line . . . again.
  • He doesn’t understand why his friends and family are so angry;
    he said he was sorry. And he really IS, every single time -
    even when he doesn’t really understand exactly what he DID.

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Spam or Internet Marketing – which is worse?


Blatant Narcissists BOTH
Get a clue – most of us HATE what you’re doing
(if that matters to you at all)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

How do I hate thee, let me count the ways

Oh, never mind – I’m sure I’d run out of room before I ran out of steam.

At the risk of sounding clearly black and white, I can’t help but wonder about the intent of either the spammers OR the Internet Marketers, but at least the spammers don’t pretend to be much of anything else.

Internet Marketers, for the most part, seem hell-bent on manipulating us into believing that they are providing an eagerly awaited service that, only incidentally, employs the flavor-of-the-moment formulaic approach designed to increase SEO (“Search Engine Optimization,” translated into dollars).

I wish I could force every single one of them into spending as much time as they have stolen from my life considering the following  questions seriously:

  • Is EVERYTHING about what you want, regardless of how it impacts anybody else?
  • Has EVERYTHING become merely a numbers game to you, designed to stuff your personal pockets (or those of your company or organization)?
  • Do you have any respect AT ALL for those at the effect of your tactics – beyond their value as one of the numbers in your game?

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I am NOT a Lab Rat!


MonGrumpHeadSince people can TALK -
how about asking us?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Not my first Rodeo

I have written about my love/hate relationship with science before and I’m sure I will again.

I think I did a fairly lousy job of hiding the fact that I was more than a little disgruntled about what I call “the Blind Men and the Elephant problem” the last time I mentioned it - but all bets are off on Monday Grumpy Monday!

I’ve been singin’ this song for over 20 years now, and I’ll keep singin’ this song until things change or until I die, whichever comes first — hoping that somebody somewhere will read with a brain engaged and get my point.

I’m R-E-A-L-L-Y grumpy about the negative impact on OUR lives of their confirmation bias.

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Pitiful Party Lines & Flying Monkeys


MonGrumpHead“Following the rules” is
probably doing it wrong

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Question Authority

Source: click image

This is not about politics or voting, but I have to start by telling you this:

a life-long grump gets activated every single election period, when politicians rally to regurgitate party line soundbites — on BOTH sides! 

It’s obnoxious.

I am incredulous that we don’t rally en masse to call them on it.

I am dismayed that people continue to vote for these idiots with their formulaic approach to getting elected and staying in office – simply because we have so little choice otherwise.

I really hate it the minute that things get nasty: when they attack by closing ranks to dig in and defend party politics after somebody says or does something stupid - on EITHER side.

That’s NOT the topic of THIS grump, however.

The nasty antics of politicians merely prime my pump and start my engine.

Every single election period, my disgruntlement quickly shifts focus to a more important target for those of us with Executive Functioning struggles: doctors and scientists.

I can’t help it – it’s just the way my brain works.

They are not supposed to be political animals, yet almost ALL of them seem to have pledged allegiance to their equivalent of that “thin blue line” so prevalent on those cop shows we watch like soap operas.

Hippocratic

Doctors are supposedly sworn to, first, do no harm.

It seems to me that they must somehow be able to pretend that allowing illogical, or out-of integrity actions of colleagues slide by without censure is not harmful to their patients.

They are wrong.

Scientists are purported to be seekers of truth — it’s supposedly a foundational concept of the scientific method.

Yet in social constructs where group identification runs rampant, they seem to band together against ideas that are “inconsistent with the current body of knowledge in the field.”

2Red_RoverTo me, they seem like a bunch of playground bullies in a mean game of Red Rover.  And it holds science back for YEARS.

That, too, is causes harm: many struggle-on needlessly
as groundbreaking work languishes for years.

I have been privy to far too many examples of the herd dynamic in my career.  So every time I hear of a new example, I get my grump on practically immediately anymore.

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A brief bit of FUN for Halloween


Ghost Writers who are actually GHOSTS!

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

click image for source

A brief introduction (to a brief little post)

My poor mother had to pack and move a family of seven practically every year of my childhood.

She managed to do a lot of really nifty parenting things anyway, but on Halloween she sometimes took the easy way out.

This happened most often when we lived somewhere that the weather was expected to be particularly cold.

Since we had to wear coats anyway, she reasoned, why not create costumes that could be tossed over them?

You got it – rifling through the older sheets, the costumes for a family of five little ghosts and their Mom were quickly produced with little more than a pair of scissors.

Soooooo – to give me a bit of time off to create a really cool Halloween costume this year, I am repeating an article written earlier – a bit of a different take on ghosts – no disrespect intended.

I believe the ADD/EFDers whose forays into the book world have been as varied as my own will especially enjoy it.

There are links to the sources, for those of you who are unaware of them.  Look for the slightly lighter text – which will turn red and underlined when you mouse over it.  (Hover before clicking for a bit of information about what you will find when you click — it will pop up.)

Writing of a Different Sort

The article below is from my personal blog on ADDerWorld, “the ADD Facebook” – where, in contrast to the more serious, informational, articles that make up the bulk of ADDandSoMuchMore.com, I tend to let my quirky take on the universe out of the box.

In re-posting this particular article, one of my personal favorites, I’m hoping to get more of you interested in hopping over, signing up and seeing what ELSE is available on that site — and maybe to encourage you to let YOUR creativity out of it’s box too.

Life doesn’t have to be so darned SERIOUS all the time
especially important for serious people.

I hope you enjoy it – and I hope you’re ALSO motivated to check out ADDerWorld.

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Top 10 Things NOT to Say (if you want to stay alive)


MonGrumpHeadIf LOOKs Could Kill

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The Death-Ray Look

Source: click image

We’ve all seen it. Some of us are shooters and some get shot.

Most of us learned to recognize THE LOOK in childhood. 

We saw it primarily in public, most of us — whenever Mom believed that a comment expressing her extreme disapproval would be inappropriate.

At home, it tended to be a warning: last chance to stop what you are doing before consequences are levied.

Spouses and partners frequently shoot each other “LOOKs” when others are around.

Charge Neutral

Comprehensive coach training teaches the “charge-neutral” skill: expressing a thought without attachment to personal opinion that might color a comment in a fashion that would make it difficult for the listener to hearMost important, in the coaching world, is the development of a style of expression that avoids make wrong.

Make-wrong is a term used in the coaching community to refer to judgments that might as well be saying, “Anybody sane knows there is a right and a wrong way to do life, and this communication identifies an item on THE unacceptable list” (in contrast to one’s personal unacceptable list).

But make-wrong is more than a linguistic concept.  It covers communications in all forms, a concept of come-from.

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When You’re Not Fond of Worms (and don’t eat frogs)


When your day starts slowly
and other tales of functional differences

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Hey, Early Birds!
You can have MY worms
(never much cared for them myself)

What’s so sacred about MORNING?

I’ve never been able to make friends with the neurotypical glorification of black and white thinking. 

Their gurus seem to believe that there is some secret magic WAY to do things that will bring everybody success, happiness and all of life’s goodies — tied up in a pretty little package topped by a lovely little bow.

Many people actually pay good money
to find out what it is.

Then they write books about it, and blog about it, and do TeleClasses about it — repackaging to pass it on: Early Birds get all the good worms. Make sure to Eat your Frog before Breakfast.

SORRY – no such “WAY”

It’s easy to conclude that they’re on to something, those gurus and their disciples. After all, many of them have lives that look highly successful.

How nice of them to entertain us with such a lovely fantasy: if we do what they did, we’ll have what they have.

The gurus only seem to have the secret.

What the followers of those particular gurus are actually paying for to take those seminars is a blueprint of the way those gurus need to do things.

  • It might well have worked for them.
  • It might even work for YOU.
  • But then it again, it probably might not.

YOU are not them.  If what they suggests fits with your functional profile, congratulations — assuming, of course you can stay the course.

pretzelPerson2Turning yourself into a pretzel, however, attempting to do things THEIR way, is the recipe for a dish even less appealing than those worms and frogs they seem to be so eager to suggest as necessary items on the pathway to productivity and success.

If you want to find out what will work for YOU,
you have to take a careful look at how YOU work,
and tweak from there.

Unfortunately, there are quite a few things to understand about functioning before you can figure out why (and where) you operate differently in areas where many others seem to function well.  We ALL have to do that, by the way.

  • That looking takes a great deal more time than most of us are prepared to give it.
  • So most of us struggle on until we find ourselves at the bottom of our own metaphorical wells, wondering what we did “wrong.”

I’ve been working on it myself, practically full-time for thirty-five years now, and I still run into roadblocks I must stop to Sherlock.  Yet I believe I have discovered the real secret to success, and I’m not going to charge you a ton of money for it.  Not even one red cent.

Are you ready for the REAL secret way?

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Frames and reframes on Pinterest


MonGrumpHeadDon’t dictate Friendship Formats -
then make people wrong
when they need to do things another way!

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Black and White assumptions that need reframing

I have recently dedicated quite a bit of time to exploring Pinterest – and no, this is not a Pinterest Grump.

Not exactly, anyway.

For those of you who are unaware, Pinterest is a collection of virtual bulletin boards for images “pinned” by topic and shared freely within other community boards through “repinning.”

Focus and Hyperfocus

Besides being set up to be a petrie dish for hyperfocus, even for those with “vanilla” brains, it’s not the best format for a word person in many ways.  And I don’t have to tell anyone who reads anything on ADDandSoMuchMORE that I am definitely a WORD person.

Pinterest is HIGHLY useful, however, for capturing images that objectify my obsession with Christmas decorating, for example — or books and libraries.  Or organization images that really DO replace a thousand words.

The problem seems to come with the overlap -
those boards that post “soundbites” as graphics.

It’s far too easy for those thoughts to become memes –
as they are repinned throughout the community — to be accepted as absolutes.

One can reframe through a comment below a single pin, but there is a 5oo character limit, and fewer people read the comments underneath pins than read the comments that follow articles on blogs.  Plus, the comments don’t tag along with a repin.

That format can encourage black and white thinking — which makes me CRAZY!

I recently came across a pin I can’t let go of. I need more than 500 characters to discuss my problem with it – because it really needs reframing.

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Is technology “improving” itself beyond usability?


MonGrumpHeadWorn out here on the update trail

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

The rock-face learning curve makes me CRAZY!

click image for source

click image for source

While the “continuous improvement” affliction has infected tech-tools across the board, the plague is at its most disabling in the computer realm.

I spend a great deal of time on my computer.

I spend SO much time staring at a screen that the rest of my life is screaming for time and attention most days. I’m beginning to worry that my keyboard and trackball will soon be fused to my hands.

I can’t help but feel, however, like my computer time could be reduced by at least half if the “continuous improvement” folks would simply let things BE.

The biggest threat to the Internet

Since I began sharing my expertise on ADDandSoMuchMore.com, the large majority of my computer time is spent online, which only compounds the problem.

I just spent one solid hour attempting to accomplish something that could (dare I say “should“??) have been over-and-done-with in three quick clicks.  (Only two months ago it WAS!)

Forget worrying about a government invasion of our privacy at the individual level. They’ll never be able to figure out how to do it! (Advertisers will – and DO, more’s the pity: money talks. But boycott as a tool for change belongs to a different grump).

The deal with the government snoops

  • Since they have entire departments that most of us don’t, they’re probably back to snooping fairly quickly after each upgrade, but “continuous improvement” updates will slow them down.
  • No matter, either way — there won’t be much to invade during improvement snow storms, as the rest of us scramble to dig out and catch up. Who has time to post?
  • As soon as we’ve all got it worked out, the next wave of updates will force us all to begin anew.

Do I smell a conspiracy — or a counter-conspiracy?

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Where is my Resilience?


VirtualBodyDbl Heading

Down for the Count
- as I keep hitting setbacks -

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click for Pinterest Board

click for Pinterest Board

Activation for Organization

I have as much trouble activating as the next ADDer, especially when I run out of the medication I need to kick my butt into gear — which seems to happen quite a bit, despite my attention to that monthly detail.

The DEA couldn’t make it tougher to STAY medicated — essential for those of us who rely on these scheduled medications that help keep our Executive Functions on board

But hey, we certainly want to prioritize protecting potential drug addicts from themselves, right?  grrrrr!

Without meds on board, I seem to need an ACTUAL body double to jump through the tiered tasks that make up this hateful monthly process.  So I’m in trouble.

 

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Brilliant! Ingenious! LIFE changing!


MonGrumpHeadThe hyperboles are killing me

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Am I the only one who is OVER exaggerated marketing descriptions?

click image for source

  • 21 Tips to Organize your Pez Containers that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!
  • 10 BRILLIANT ways to Repurpose Dental Floss!
  • 15 STUNNING Shoe Inserts - from everday garbage!

Okay, they’re not quite that insipid — but that actually turns out to be worse.

I’m currently suffering from a bad case of clicker’s remorse due to repeated exposure to bait and switch – over-promising and under-delivering.

Maybe it IS just me

Perhaps I’ve been a tad overexposed. Since I’m on the hunt for fresh ideas to organize my new apartment, I’ll admit I’ve been spending w-a-y too much time on Pinterest since my recent move. (We citizens of Alphabet City have a tendency to hyperfocus!)

Still, I am wasting seriously-too-much time scrolling through “amazing” tip articles that have turned out to be a big yawn – and I already spend seriously-too-much time in front of a computer screen as it is.

Most of the “brilliant” posts I’ve run across lately are simply not worth the risk of varicose veins – or the cost of support stockings! (Trust me, I’ve Googled)

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Beginning the VBD experiment


VirtualBodyDbl Heading

How am I going to DO this?
- click HERE for the Introductory Article -

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Starting out freaking

I began calmly enough — by inserting October’s calendar pages in my someday-to-be-trusty-again DayTimer (that nearly naked replacement I’m attempting to populate anew, thanks to the mugging that dominoed into three months with my dominant hand and arm in a cast, starting off 2014 with a bang.)

I moved on – a little less calmly as I ricocheted off the memory of the first nine months of this year – on my way to setting up a game-plan from which I can move forward.

The productivity gurus swear that I will be more centered after capturing the details of what is before me.  Who am I to argue with a guru?

Source: click image

Source: click image

I began by counting the number of Fridays until Christmas - doesn’t everyone?  Counting this one, eleven.

ELEVEN?

OMG, eleven.

Bring on the freak-out.

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Body Doubles for Activation & Accountability


Body Double-101
- an experiment -

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

click image for source

What’s a Body Double?

The term originally came from Hollywood, a step away from the concept of a stunt double – where producers hire trained and experienced stuntmen and women for certain things that might pose a danger to the star.

Most people already know about stunt doubles, but did you realize that the main character in some mundane movie scenes is not actually the star?

In scenes where there is no dialogue, sometimes it’s another actor who looks similar enough to pass.  Make up, hair and wardrobe work the rest of the sleight of hand.

The use of a body double makes it possible for stars who need time off for another project to work on several things at once — while it helps the producer stay on budget!

The term Body Double also refers to a ADD Coaching concept — a technique that comprehensively trained, brain-based ADD Coaches suggest often.

But the ADD Coaching world is talking about something completely different when we use the term.

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Emotional Manipulation


MonGrumpHeadStop trying to make me worry about you
because you worry about me

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Fair Warning: HIGHLY unusual spate of make-wrong ahead!  I’m sure I will be speaking FOR the many of you who don’t need to be spoken TO.

PLEASE don’t shut me down emotionally, ok?

source: click image

source: click image

In case you believe I am talking directly to YOU, there is no need to get defensive.

I’m probably not, but a bit of what it feels like on the other side of emotional manipulation never hurt anybody.

No apologies necessary, except on my part for being so grumpy about it all this particular Monday. 

As regular readers have already figured out, I’ve had connectivity problems since my relatively recent move of home and office. I’ve experienced ongoing cellphone agita all year.  I’ll spare you the minutia but the bottom line is that, for most of this year, whether I could make or receive a phone call has been a crap-shoot.  I’m working on my fifth phone since Christmas.

This month alone I’ve been SERIOUSLY over-exposed to “It’s not only frustrating when I can’t get in touch with you, I’m sick with worry!”

I truly need to let some pressure out of my cooker.  I’m also hoping that attempts at emotional blackmail will lessen in all of our lives as a result of bringing its effect to consciousness.

So here goes - deep breath. 

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Getting to “Good ENOUGH”


Discovering YOUR Perfect Balance

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
From the Activation Series

click image for source

click image for source

Lowering your standards

“Don’t think of ‘good enough’ as settling for something inferior or imperfect, think of it as striking a perfect balance.”  ~ Dylan Reeve

In the previous article, The Virtues of Lowering your Standards, I refuted the idea that any “job worth doing” was worth doing WELL.

As I said, “It’s always seemed to me that if the job’s worth doing at all, any forward progress is good forward progress.

I also made the point that any shade of completion beats chronic indecision andprocrastination- hands down!

While both of the above are certainly true, I also wanted to encourage you to embrace good enough for the tactical advantages that a more BALANCED approach to life offers – along with positive results for your struggles with activation.

In an interview from the blog good experience, the author of “The Paradox of Choice” insists that only on rare occasions is it worth struggling to find the best — that it makes life simpler if you settle with good enough.

“You don’t have to make an exhaustive search – just until you find something that meets your standards, which could be high.

But the only way to find the absolute best is to look at
ALL the possibilities.

And in that case you’ll either give up, or if you choose one, you’ll be nagged by the possibility that you may have found something better.” ~ author Barry Schwartz – Paradox of Choice
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Back Scratching-101: How to get support for YOUR objectives


MonGrumpHeadBeing in Community
means Supporting BACK

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

A DAILY grump initiator . . .

that I must work with myself daily to find a way to
rise above to continue to do what I do here.

It’s more difficult to rise on Mondays.

It seems to me that many of my readers don’t understand how the blogging environment WORKS — because I simply refuse to believe that most of my readers are selfish (even on Monday Grumpy Monday).

I’m talking about common courtesy practices, not complex SEO tactics, by the way – extending toward someone who has extended toward you – which means:

  • Saying thank you in some fashion ON the blog of the person who liked or followed you.
  • Saying thank you in some fashion for information that helps you be more successful in your life (especially in your own coaching practice), whether or not you author a blog designed to do more than pay your own bills — ON the blog of the person who shared with you for free
    (Google can’t count email and phone calls, by the way – NICE, but decidedly unhelpful for getting the word out.)

I DO understand the time issue

I’ll be the first to admit that, after spending three to six non-billable hours every single day sharing what I have learned in the past twenty-five years (with the goal of helping those of you who can’t afford private coaching or ongoing coach training), I don’t always have a lot of time left in my day to run my life and make a living.

  • As a result, I don’t have the time in my day to visit, like and comment on the blogs of ALL of my followers and those who have left comments here.
  • Like everyone else, I must spend time paying my bills with at least SOME of what I do with my time (unless one of you would like to handle that little detail for me.)
  • But I do try to make time to visit those who comment, like and follow article by article.

I also spend a substantial time seeking links to blogs that have information adding content or context — through continuously curated links in my Related Content section (at the bottom of almost every post on ADDandSoMuchMore.com).

To give you easier ways to locate articles you want to read on ADDandSoMuchMore.com, my LinkLists already make the GoogleBot a bit grumpy with me.  However, EVERY time I scratch a back that doesn’t return the favor amounts to Google promoting THEIR content at the expense of my own.

WHICH MEANS THAT increasingly fewer people are likely to benefit from what I do here, since fewer and fewer people are likely to see anything that isn’t listed early in the search results.

Since I don’t charge for content and support the site alone, I have no budget for a marketing staff and no time to wear one more hat. I have been counting on readers who benefit from what I do to help me spread the word.

Do you realize that every single time I link and the person does NOT link back, like or comment here, I fall further down in Google’s rating algorhythms?

Are you aware that Google counts comments, reblogs, links and likes to help counter inbound/outbound link imbalances?

Don’t those of you who also blog understand that leaving a comment here increases the number of inbound links to YOUR blog or website, as well as helping me promote this free resource?

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The Virtues of Lowering your Standards


click image for source

click image for source

 When “Good enough” is Good ENOUGH!

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Let’s delve deeper into a couple of foundational problems,
particularly for those of us with Executive Functioning dysregulations:

* struggles with activation, and
* the perils of falling victim to black and white thinking.

Hand in hand, each exacerbates the other,
until it’s truly a miracle we ever get anything done at all!

To the neurodiverse AND the neurotypical

On a very different kind of blog, post-production supervisor and self-professed Edit Geek shared his thoughts on the very topic I planned to write about today (the image above is his). He began and ended his relatively brief article with a wonderful synopsis of exactly what I am about to tackle in this article.

In Defense Of ‘Good Enough’

For many people . . . ‘good enough’ is a dirty word. It suggests a lack of care or investment. I think good enough [needs to be] be embraced.

Knowing what is good enough for the work you’re doing allows you to invest [your resources] in the places that will benefit the most.”

The last line of his article is perfect:

“Don’t think of ‘good enough’ as settling for something inferior or imperfect, think of it as striking a perfect balance.”  ~ Dylan Reeve

NOW, let me fill in the middle

. . . from a slightly different vantage point, for a different life-application, speaking to a completely different “audience.”

Chinese finger-trapA Chinese Finger Trap

EVEN THOUGH doing the very BEST one can may seem laudable to a great many productivity gurus, that desire often creates time management problems for practically everyone, and frequently leads to rumination and inaction for many of us.

While the neurodiverse among us are noodling the very best way to tackle something, we’re generally doing nothing much at all otherwise — nothing much that will keep our lives from falling apart, that is — nevermind much of anything that will move them forward.

In an unconscious attempt to calm our rising task anxiety we tend to seek out what I call “avoidance activities” – internet browsing, FaceBook updating, LinkedIn discussing, friending, tweeting, texting, twiddling.  Puttering.

The harder we try to free ourselves from lack-of-activation, the tighter we’re stuck in rumination and awfulizing.

Any shade of completion beats chronic indecision and “procrastination” – hands down!

 

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Monday Grumpy Monday


MonGrumpHeadI don’t wake up this way
but it rarely takes long before something sets me off

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

click image for source

Rants and Ruminations

Maybe it’s something they do to the drinking water at the beginning of each week but, looking “backstage” at the articles in the category above, almost all of them were begun on a Monday. 

I seemed to need a place to vent – and you REALLY wouldn’t want to see those first drafts!!

Although I’ve written about it only a few times, the [non] workings of technology seems to activate my grumpy faster than almost anything else. Not only does the blaze build to a hotter fire, it seems to have been assembled with flash paper.

Ka-BOOM!

I almost always have the willingness to attempt to remain accepting and patient with people, especially one on one, but gol-dangit  [replace term with your favorite expletive] I firmly believe that THINGS need to be designed to work!

Ditto, anything on the internet, where my definition of “working” expands.

As much as I appreciate the WordPress.com blogging platform overall, on Mondays I could easily shoot the “geniuses” who believe that periodically and suddenly changing the user interface is a GOOD idea – and that all of their “good ideas” are improvements.

Intermediate messages like their current “beep-beep-boop” do NOT pass for humor in my universe either — especially since testing before launch seems to be a thing of the past, and developers no longer USE the platforms they design (or they’d know better!)

GRRRRRR . . .

Spammers always make me crazy, of course – but not nearly as crazy as the procedures designed to avoid them.

Odd, isn’t it, that at the same time they force me to decifer squiggles and re-input new passwords to “protect” THEMSELVES from spam, they make sure that my information is captured so that they can inundate me with marketing (regardless of the fact that I consider it spam-squared!)

On Mondays I can’t seem to stop myself from ruminating over why they don’t understand that there is more to our lives than their capitalist imperatives – or perhaps they simply don’t CARE that they are being annoyingly narcissistic?

Herd mentality also gets my dander up – but it seems more likely to flake off into the universe on a Monday.  Why IS that?

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September 11 Thoughts and Links


STILL Healing the Divided Mind

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series
[link to videos by Deepak Chopra below]

September 11 will never again be an ordinary day.

click image for source

click image for source – scroll to bottom for NEW view

No longer living in Manhattan, I have developed my own “honoring” ceremony that involves searching the ‘net for articles on the topic and taking the time to read them.

I have learned to expect the posts telling their stories, expressing gratitude that their loved ones had been spared.

I have grown used to seeing the many expressions of empathy and love for those who were not so blessed – and I join them in saying a prayer for those whose loved-ones disappeared in so violent a manner.

I always expect to see expressions of unhealed pain, loss and grief – which I found again – and I pray for them too.

I also expect more than a few expressions of hot and still too fresh anger – which I also found.  I pray they will find peace.

I will always be unprepared for
expressions of revenge and retribution.

ALL of us who are able simply must continue to put energy into healing this wound that is gaping still – in America and in other countries affected by retribution-inspired violence.

We will NEVER forget, but the only way inject meaning into this senseless act of violence (and those that came before and those that followed), is to come to a place where we can experience our feelings without BEING our feelings: taking a STAND for Peace, and sourcing our actions from that stand.

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Supercharge To-Do List Functionality


Gettin’ UP and Gettin’ Going – Part IV

The last two of my TEN “Practices” that beat back
ACTIVATION struggles

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

click image for source

The Trouble with Lists

How many lists have YOU made in your lifetime?

If you’re like many of us, the answer would probably be in the hundreds: grocery lists, Christmas lists, packing lists, clothing lists, book lists, homework lists – and a bazillion more, I’m sure.

There are as many different kinds of lists as there are reasons for list-making.

Expanding on the concept of Tip #3 – Write it down, write it down, write it down – this last part of Top Ten Tips to Combat “Laziness” is going to concentrate on the dreaded to-do list – and how to make it work better for you.

Let’s begin with four questions.  Take a moment to think about them.  We’ll handle them at the end of this article — after a couple more foundational concepts.

1. Why did you make a to-do list in the first place?
(If you answered with any version of “To get things done,” keep reading.)

By the way, did many of your to-do lists actually do what you wanted them to in that regard?

2. Did you accomplish every single item on most of your to-do lists?
(If you answered with any version of “Are you kidding?!” keep reading – we’ll handle this concept at the end of the article.)

3. Where are those lists now?
(If you answered “Somewhere” or “Who knows?!” keep reading.  You may find some new explanations for keeping your lists in a datebook or paper-based calendar.)

4. Do you begin or end almost every day by making or checking your to-list?
(No matter what you answered to this one, keep reading)

BUT FIRST lets do a quick review of the first eight tips before we go on to number nine.

In the first three sections of this article we covered the following eight of my Top Ten Tips to Combat “Laziness:”

1. Medication can help, but not by itself
2. Avoid shoulds and should-ers – and know why you must
3. Write it down, write it down, write it down
4. Distinguish Task Anxiety and begin there
5. Feed your head
6. Go like Glenda
7. Stay off the Slide
8. Best breathing for best focus

If you haven’t read part one, read it HERE.
Read part two HERE and
part three HERE

NOW we’re going to take a look at #9 and #10:

9.  Cross it off, cross it off, cross it off

10. RATE IT – both before and after

If on-screen reading is frustrating for you, even with the article broken into parts,
try taking it ONE Practice at a time.

Okay – lets get right back to it!

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A little help from our friends can make a MIRACLE happen


Pay it Forward

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of the What Kind of World do YOU Want? series

Every single one of you can share and forward. Please DO that – for me – in appreciation for what I continue to do for all of you.

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart

1 minute video – click image

My very own
“Make a Wish”
campaign

There but for the
Grace of God

Go you and I

My Friend Andy needs a miracle

My request to anyone who has ever benefited from ANYTHING I have ever done is that you become a part of Andy’s miracle in any way you can.

His one-minute video explains what he needs far better than I ever could. The brief text below it adds information and context.

Please click his image – OR one of the links below – and donate just one little minute to listening to his message in his own words — then forward it (and/or reblog my plea). 

The greater the number of people who see his message, the greater the likelihood of ALL of us being part of a true miracle – saving the life of a man who will help save the lives of others.

Please, help me make it go viral.

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