Brain Injured from Birth?


Never “normal” —
and never understanding
why you can’t do what others CAN

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Sort of, but not really

As awful as it is to lose functionality as a result of head injury, stroke, or some of the short-term memory deficits that cause “senior moments,” what if you had NEVER experienced the functionality you are mourning?

Those of us with Attentional Spectrum Disorders and Executive Functioning Deficits have been struggling with “TBI problems” and “senior moments” our entire lives, to undeserved and unkind public ridicule and general disbelief that what we report is a legitimate problem.

In an earlier article, Lessons from the TBI Community, developed initially for a brain-based talk to a professional conference for ADD Coaches, I attempted to compare the problems faced by individuals with challenges due to Traumatic Brain Injury to the struggles of the rest of us here in Alphabet City.

Broken Brains

I doubt that anyone who reads or watches television is unaware of the behavioral and cognitive changes that accompany dementias, strokes, and brain injuries due to accidents of one sort or another.

Most sensible individuals readily accept that those changes are a direct result of brain damage, leaving areas of the brain incapable of performing their role in the neural relay race, or doing so inefficiently or incompletely.

WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE that that someone might be be born with parts of the brain that function inefficiently, or that brain development might not proceed in that so-called neurotypical fashion in a subset of individuals — and that there might be similar behavioral and cognitive differences as a result?

AFTER ALL, anyone who has had any reason to take a look at education in the last forty years surely must be aware of the meaning of the term “learning disorder” or “learning disability.”

If they’ve looked beyond the headlines, they may also be aware that the term does not refer to an intelligence-delimited inability to learn, but to a difference in the manner and speed in which the information must be presented for learning to take place.

Unrealistic Expectations

TBI advocates and sufferers frequently write about how painful and difficult it is for them that those around them expect that their functioning will mirror their appearance.

During the period where they look “banged up” in some fashion, loved ones and friends encourage them to be patient and take it easy. Once they look “okay,” the understanding that they are still healing seems to run out.

  • They are expected to BE okay as soon as they LOOK okay —
    to rapidly return to the “self” they were before their accident.
  • There seems to be little to no understanding that they are being asked, metaphorically, to walk on a broken leg with severed nerves.

Although the unrealistic expectations of others are maddening – and tough on the sufferer’s self-esteem – there is usually some awareness in his or her heart of the reason that they aren’t able to do what is expected of them.

They realize only too well that parts of their brain aren’t functioning “normally” yet, even though the underlying reason is “invisible” to others, so tough for them to believe.

What if they had NEVER experienced anything different? 

What if not being able to live up to expectations WAS “normal,” as far as they knew?  Then what?  How would that affect their view of themselves?

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When SHTF is a DAILY Occurance!


Emergency Preparations
for lives that have A LOT of emergencies

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Introducing the Surviving EFDs Series

“Preparedness, when properly pursued, is a way of life,
not a sudden, spectacular program.” ~ Spencer W. Kimball

Lots to learn from the Survivalists

“SHTF” – for those new to the acronym – is a Survivalist abbreviation for Stuff Hits The Fan (with a 4-letter “S” word replacing the one I used to keep things acceptable to my ENTIRE readership).

As with any subgroup, Survivalists run the gamut from the extreme through the consumed by anxiety to the worried . . . all the way to the merely cautious.

At base, most of them are no different from savers and planners in any arena — except that they larder physical supplies and foodstuffs instead of cash reserves in more traditional savings formats.

They’ve lost faith in the system.

That’s something that many here in Alphabet City share with them.  Except the system we have a hard time trusting anymore is Mental Health Care, including the lawmakers charged with protecting the rights of the many in our society who have “invisible” disabilities.

It occurs to me that, like many of the Survivalists,
we ALL might be wise to expect the best,
but prepare for the worst.

Global catastrophe’s aside, the “worst” here in Alphabet City seems to happen A LOT more frequently than in the neurotypical population – and we can expect precious little help from the current state of the Mental Health [lack of an effective] System.

Let’s not spend time going over all of the ways in which the system desperately needs changing.  I’ve been ringing that bell for over 25 years now – along with a great many other Mental Health advocates – as things continue to worsen nonetheless.

Instead, let’s focus on what we might think about putting in place to BE PREPARED.

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ADDing to Subtract


How much change can you tolerate
before you STOP trying to cope?

©Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Intentionality Series

We HATE to give things up

Have you ever tried to convince a kid to give away a toy – even a toy s/he no longer plays with and, truth to tell, never cared much for in the first place?

Most kids will take quite a bit of convincing, and some will throw a fit and refuse.

Truly clever Moms and Dads replace the toy with something new – putting the emphasis on what their kids are getting rather than what they are giving up.

And most parents who follow the “one-in/one-out” rule figure out very quickly that the swap needs to be agreed upon UP FRONT.

If they can get the child to fork over the old toy before they receive the new one, so much the better.

An Overwhelmed Brain says NO!

Have you ever allowed yourself to get in over your head?  In your home, for example, have things ever gotten so messy that you begin to doubt your ability to ever clean it up?

I refer to it as being “over my limit.”  Finding myself over my limit happens to me regularly.

  • It happens every single time I move to a new home, for example, or the times I’ve been too sick to have the energy to do much beyond making it to the kitchen or the bathroom and back to bed.
  • It also happens during (and following) any period where the serious illness of a close friend or family member shifts my priorities.
  • Things seem to get worse every day.

Suddenly – or so it seems – I can’t cope any more.  EVERYTHING seems to be everywhere.  I can’t see the items for the clutter, and life becomes a scavenger hunt of epic proportions.

The professional organizers would probably tell me to start pitching things left and right to “clear out the clutter” – but which things?

What the neurotypical never seem to understand is that overwhelm shuts down our capacity to make effective decisions.

  • I don’t know about you, but the few times I’ve allowed myself to be pushed to toss against my better judgment have ended badly.
  • In a couple of cases, it took me months to jump through the hoops to replace something I’d tossed that I actually needed – and that’s after I’d spent a great deal of time looking for it.

Fear of Tossing?

No, I haven’t developed “fear of tossing” as a result, but I HAVE learned not to jump in pitching when I’m overwhelmed.

And I’ll bet you have too – whether it is the result of a conscious decision or merely what looks like intractability to anyone watching.

  • What’s the worst thing that could happen? they ask, in their ignorance.
  • Are you kidding?  I’m barely hanging on NOW – my goose is cooked if things get worse.

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A thorn in the side of ADD/EFD-ignorance


The logic behind the language

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I am committed to being a thorn in the side of ADD-ignorance in service of changing the way neurodiversity is thought about and treated – seeing “a world that works for everyone” in my lifetime. ~ from my gravatar profile

Below the radar make-wrong?

Well, probably.

I’m working on clearing all judgments before I die, but intractable ignorance may well turn out to be the last to go.

Intractible Ignorance

Although I understand intellectually that intractable ignorance is a fear-based reaction, I simply do not GET a refusal to check things out to test one’s assumptions.

It seems intellectually cowardly to me (another judgment I need to clear?)

What’s more, what they tend to say and do in response to their intractable ignorance are clear examples of BULLY behavior, I don’t care who you are!

SEE: What’s my beef with Sir Ken Robinson

Not on my watch

And so I strive to remain “a thorn in the side” of neurodiversity ignorance: bigger than a splinter – fairly impossible to ignore – and begging for removal.

Thorns scream, TAKE A LOOK!

It’s not that I’m hoping to, in the words of Thomas Campbell, “force a corn plant to become a potato.”

It’s because I sincerely believe that ALL human beings strive to live life according to their understanding of what’s right and good.

My stand for humanity is that we will continually expand our understanding on the way to reframing our ideas of what’s “right” and “good.”  In other words:

we grow UP!

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Our Brains, Crock Pots™ and Microwaves


Metaphors of Mind & Brain

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

In our attempt to understand ourselves and our environment, we often end up talking about the brain — “that three pound lump of jelly you can hold in the palm of your hand” [~V.S. Ramachandran]

Even though science has learned to quantify a great many of the elements of the brain, most of us still search for metaphors and analogies as we attempt to describe our understanding and our experiences.

In my own mind, the way in which my brain is like either a microwave or a Crock Pot™ pops up frequently – and I use the terms as communication “short-cuts” in my coaching.

Microwaves

Most ADDers love microwaves — you know, “the ‘nuker.”  The rest seem to have a love/hate relationship with them.

“Want hot coffee now!” is a powerful incentive to consider the ‘nuker a necessity in my own life, in any case.

Microwaves work with ADD Brain Wiring.  

Crock Pots™

The concept of a Crock Pot™ is greeted less enthusiastically by almost everyone in the EFD crowd, ADD or not!

“Spend energy now, then wait 6 hours for food?
What moron dreamed THAT up?”

However, there are some dandy little benefits to a slow-cooker.

It is the ultimate procrastination permission-slip, for one thing.  It seems to me that I can forget about one of those things for days and still eat the meal whenever I remember that it’s waiting for me. (Just kidding – don’t try this at home!)

Click for Source: memoriesofatime.com

I use my brain that way some times

I put some things in “slow-cook” mode, figuring that I’ll be better able to handle them later, and that they will still be “digestible” if I forget about them for a while.

By giving myself permission to do things my way on my timetable, my brain responds with a way to solve the issue that works for me.

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STOP Judging Purse-dogs!


Unless you also DRAG your little kids
(in which case, I have judgment about YOU!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Tiny dogs have tiny legs (duh!)

It recently took a great deal of will-power to over-ride my impulse to smack a college student who [loudly] opined to his friends, as they passed me during a walk with my brand new teeny-tiny puppy, that “some people” needed to let their dogs out of their “purses” to walk for themselves.

I am full-grown, tall and have long legs.

My little Shih Tzu pup is about three months old, weighs less than five pounds, and has legs that are less than three inches long.

While he needs (and seems to adore) the exercise he gets trotting along beside me on our walks, the amount of time he is able to keep up without exhaustion is limited.

Humans can’t trot alongside horses for very long either!

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Neuroflexyn: Jury still out


Email reply bodes well
Responsive companies are usually
trustworthy companies

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Non-Pharm Alternatives Series

Not at all fearful of prescription medication when warranted, I have always been ALL FOR effective non-pharmaceutical alternatives when available.

The question in my mind was (and is) whether Neuroflexyn will be among them – and for what segment of the population (since nothing works across-the-board for everyone who struggles.)

FIRST instincts (a summary)

“Preliminary findings: short and not so sweet” is how I began my prior article entitled Neuroflexyn: BUYER BEWARE – Lack of information vs. marketing is suspicious – where I encouraged you, as always, to READ WITH YOUR BRAIN ENGAGED.

SINCE that time, I received an email from someone involved with the company.

As I indicated in a top-of-that-article update, I requested and received permission to share it with you.

I will continue with additional comments following their email.

(The image at left is from the Amazon site, where you will find additional reviews of the product.)

Quick Review for Context

My initial article began with the information below, which will help with context for their reply for any of you who don’t jump over to read that first (which, obviously, I strongly recommend).

Too good to be true?

A plethora of marketing-posing-as-information articles make some pretty amazing claims about the benefits of Neuroflexyn. I’ll admit that I was tempted to purchase as I read them – which is what launched me on the informational research trail.

Product marketing swears that Neuroflexyn has been “proven” to significantly increase IQ as it enhances memory, concentration, intentional focus — productivity practically across the board, in fact.

In addition, again according to their marketing, this new “supplement” dramatically increases cognition and intelligence with NO reported side effects — despite the reality that, as a supplement, this new product currently flies beneath FDA radar, so the manufacturers can pretty much claim anything they want.

Initial Concerns

My initial objection was to current “ask for the sale” marketing approaches that attempt to sweeten response rate by urging readers to take hasty action for fear of losing some advantage or opportunity if they take a day or more to think things over or investigate other options.

According to the email below, this is NOT what Neuroflexyn’s marketing game-plan endorses – actively opposing, it asserts.

My second concern was that there was little to be found from mainstream scientists, doctors, or the credible nootropic community leadership (at least, not that I was able to find in a couple of hours online).

Only time will tell which “experts” will respond — favorably or not — since Neuroflexyn is still a brand new product.

To be CLEAR: Silence doesn’t always indicate LACK of endorsement – but it certainly is a reason for caution and further investigation before jumping on the bandwagon ourselves.

My parting comments were that it will take more INFORMATION to change my mind and that I’d LOVE to be proven wrong about my initial assessment of this product.

It would seem, from the email below, that the folks at Neuroflexyn are willing to do what they can toward the same objective.

If it improves my own cognition substantially I’ll continue to take it – in addition to or instead of my current medication.

Read it for yourselves, immediately below.

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When did WordPress change?


Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC:

When you make a mistake,
‘fess up and FIX it

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

As regular readers know, I don’t like (or use) the WordPress reblog function because it doesn’t work for ADD/EFD readership, particularly in the manner in which multiple graphics are handled.

HOWEVER, I am making this exception as a show of support for a blogger who is now prohibited by WordPress from following any new blogs or bloggers – EVEN to the extent of hitting “like.”

None of his many followers can figure out WHY —
and others with similar statistics have recently received similar notices
(disclosed in the comments section of the blog that follows)

The response from the [used-to-be] good folks at WordPress is to dig in and defend, rather than ‘fess up and explain how it happened – OR disclose the specifics of the rules by which they sanction (read the comments on the blog of Opinionated Man – my own responses to the WordPress action are scathing!)

BY THE WAY

You don’t have to agree with what he says on his blog to defend his right to SAY it.

  • There will be many people who won’t agree with what YOU say on your blog.
  • Wouldn’t you want somebody defending your right to say it if WordPress responded to them by shutting you down?

AT THE VERY LEAST, click over to click like to indicate that you are aware of this truly crappy decision on the part of WordPress.com and find it appalling.

Links to more detail, including their missives to him,
available from the link immediately below:

WordPress Account Disabled

Making things EVEN worse

There seems to be NO redress for the original action.

From their response, it seems clear that the policy is that if somebody makes a decision on statistics alone, the folks at WordPress.com refuse to revisit – or even EXPLAIN their [apparently new] “rules” for interaction with other blogs with any specificity.

It’s a “circle the wagons” response designed to provoke fear of “over-stepping” undisclosed boundaries.

Didn’t work with ME

My response is WHITE-HOT FURY at the back-end disclosure sans specifics – AFTER we have spent money and a great many minutes of our lives helping to build usage of the WordPress.com platform.

If WordPress doesn’t have the server space to keep up with the community they’ve actively sought and attracted, then they need to say THAT – not this nonsense!

I hope your response is similar, and that you will (as they say in the theatre)
“Sing out, Louise!”

Most companies become suddenly more reasonable once they become aware of wide-spread disdain.

“An appeaser is one who feeds the crocodile
hoping it will eat him LAST.”
~ Winston Churchill

“It takes a village to transform a world!” ~ mgh

What kind of world do YOU want?


FYI – To get to the article, click on the name of the blog (immediately below) or on “View Original” at the bottom.

The longer link goes to a Forum discussion thread that one of the “Happiness Engineers” (their term, btw) has decided to close to additional comments in what appears to be their new black and white manner of avoiding having to comment toward clarification or issue resolution.

Originally posted on HarsH ReaLiTy:

http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/mass-following-is-now-a-crime/page/2?replies=56#post-2214754%23postform

So now the “moderator helpers” can flag anyone that happens to support another blogger or makes a comment? And those same moderators can sit there and goad those bloggers into doing it? Sounds like an awesome support forum WordPress. Well done!

Thanks for taking my $99 for my premium account last month and then a few weeks later suspending my ability to like and follow new blogs. You just killed the very connection that this platform is meant to offer. Other powerbloggers and bloggers have far larger numbers than I, but you decided to suspend me for doing what everyone else does.

Ok, you got what you wanted. My attention. I guess that is how you will kill my blog. Well done.

-OM

View original

When you feel like you can’t bounce back


Down for the Count?
- RESILIENCY: Bouncing back from Setbacks –
NOT the usual rah-rah post

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

What IS Resiliency?

of resiliency.com says:

“Resiliency is the ability to overcome challenges of all kinds – trauma, tragedy, personal crises, plain ‘ole’ life problems – and bounce back stronger, wiser, and more personally powerful.”

While I don’t disagree with her, exactly, I would label her definition positive resiliency– since over twenty-five years working with the ADD/EFD community have taught me that making the distinction between rising like a phoenix and getting back up at all is IMPORTANT.

hang-in-there-baby-you-ll-get-through-thisThose of us here in Alphabet City need to feel like we have a shot at mastering STEP ONE, bouncing back at all, before we can keep the faith that we can move forward, with or without increased power.

More than simply TIMING

  • Attempts to motivate of the “stronger/wiser” variety may be what’s called for in the neurotypical community and with folks whose lives have remained relatively on-track (although I am inclined to wonder if perhaps they merely tolerate them better).

I’m fairly sure that point of view is not particularly encouraging or effective with people whose lives have consisted of setback after setback.

They strike me as insensitive when said TO those for whom life seems little more than crawling out of one hole after another.

Those are words for them to invent (or not) as they begin to bounce back, not a concept for others to wave in front of their shell-shocked eyes like a red flag in front of a bull.

  • Said TO us as we flounder, those stronger/wiser words tend to hit our ears as they might if we were prize fighters over-matched in the ring, barely making it to the corner in a daze — only to hear our managers tell us that we’ll be better fighters as the result of being beaten to a bloody pulp.

Few of us are particularly motivated by the thought of getting “stronger and wiser” about about the ability to tolerate a continuation of life’s abuses!

We want to somehow be able to keep the faith that we can get through them THIS time!

If we hamstring the resiliency process with “stronger, wiser, and more personally powerful,” many too many of us are likely to stay on the mat (or out of the ring)!

 

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Hey! Grinch! Get off of my cloud!


MonGrumpHeadW-A-Y behind on
Grumpiness Dumps

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Now that Christmas is behind us, back to business!

I have gotten a few comments from folks who have missed my grumpy side – happy to oblige.

So here’s what’s caught in my craw as today progresses – taking down all the Christmas decorations happens WAY too soon.

It’s just plain ole’ depressing to walk down the street and see still-green tree corpses kicked to the curb before Twelfth Night!  When they start hitting the streets before NEW YEARS I simply want to fall down next to them and weep.

Kicked to the curb so SOON?

Poor Christmas Trees!  Kicked to the curb so SOON?

Whatever happened to AFTERGLOW?

I mean, even if you are one of the lucky ones with a staff of elves to give you plenty of time before Christmas to drive around and see all the pretty decorations and visit all your friends to see what they’ve put together, are you really that eager to jump up and shower immediately afterwards?

As for the rest of us, if we don’t have time to see the sights while we’re busy getting ready for our own celebrations, we can pretty much forget about it until we try again next year.

Live and let live?

I suppose I could live with the idea that many folks want to take down their Christmas decorations before New Years, but what frosts my grapes is the attitude of the early denuders toward those of us who don’t want to rush the removal.

They are so snide – and so VOCAL – about the fact that the entire world doesn’t share their particular preference for getting rid of all evidence that Christmas exists practically the moment the last present is opened.

Who put the Grinches in charge of the timing?

What’s HAPPENING with our planet these days?

There is so much about our world that is, shall we say, less than uplifting.  Why would anybody campaign to remove the small bit of cheer that manages to survive?

Not that I let what Grinches prefer change what I decide to do one iota – I simply don’t want to have to tolerate their “superior” attitude and their make-wrong. 

Can’t they tut-tut-tut in private?

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YOU are Bigger than your To-Do List


Human BEINGS vs Human DOings

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Edited “Reprint”

The following words were edited, inspired by an email I sent to a prospective client quite a few years ago now.

Having been referred by a colleague as someone deserving of a sliding-scale  coaching opportunity, the candidate was investigating coaching with me.

First, they wanted to make sure I would do it in the same manner touted by a coach they followed online.

My immediate reaction was, “Why are you calling me rather than investigating coaching with THEM?” 

The answer brought me up short: because you offer sliding scale and they don’t. 

Whoa! Budget shopping for a COACH?

FIT, not price

Whether or not that person believed me (or whether you do), you can’t shop for a coach on price.

There are coaches available at all price points. Brand new coaches charge at the bottom of the scale, and most experienced coaches reserve one or two “sliding-scale slots” for certain types of clients (or people in certain situations that mandate a lower fee).

I know because I trained a lot of them personally!

Paying top dollar won’t necessarily buy you better coaching – but attempting to pay the least amount possible just might buy you a lousy fit for what you’re up to – which will amount to lousy coaching.

I don’t know what ultimately happened with this individual, but I kept my email follow-up, knowing I would want to share it once enough time had passed.

Since I am offering private coaching once again, I thought that this would be an excellent time for a “reprint.”

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Happy Eve before Mardi Gras


I’m Finally Celebrating Christmas
as the Mardi Gras/Carnival Season begins

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

About Mardi Gras – and why here?

Since I went to grad school in New Orleans, I had three years to experience the celebrations of Mardi Gras – from King Cake parties to balls to parades and so-much-more.

I LOVE a chance to share my knowledge of Mardi Gras from my experience there.

Mardi Gras beads in the traditional colors: green, purple and gold - thrown from the floats by MANY different Krew members riding in the many, MANY parades they sponsor

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For a REALLY Happy New Year


2015 is breathing down our necks
(perhaps it might be wise to do more than a bit of thinking about it)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

As I ready myself for my own Christmas celebration on Twelfth Night, let’s take a moment to focus on the other big end-of-year celebration: New Year’s Eve.

Nutshell New Years

We count backwards from ten as the clock chimes and the ball drops. We toast and kiss, and blow funny-sounding horns wearing funny-looking hats, often dressed in formal finery.  Many of us party on until dawn.

© Phillip Martin – artist/educator

Yep – that’s New Years Eve in a nutshell for many of us around the world – or at least the image in our minds.

And then what?

Regardless of how heartily we’ve partilied the night before, we awaken at some point on New Years Day, hoping for the best in the upcoming year.

Some of us even take the time to write down a few of those ubiquitous New Year’s Resolutions, without really expecting ourselves to follow through this year, anymore than the years before it.

Pinterest and the daily papers provide image upon image making fun of the practice – or at least of the people who don’t practice their practice.

And most of the plans of those who resolve and regret fail to materialize through lack of long-range planning.

To fail to plan is to plan to fail?

As I implied in a much earlier article about planning for the New Year, unless we want the upcoming year to be exactly like the one in our rear view mirror, it’s time to get busy with some change-management.

A therapist I know has this to say about change:

“Everybody wants things to be different, but nobody wants anything to change.”

He doesn’t add, “especially anything about THEM” – but I have always believed that’s what he was really talking about: the devil we know, and all that.

What IS it about change that makes us cringe?

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Gettin’ Ready for Twelfth Nite


Christmas Day is over . . .
Make Way for 12th Nite
(January 6th: the day when all sensible ADD Poster Girls
prefer to hold the present-fest)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Is Merry Christmas behind us now?

I hope your Christmas Day was everything you wanted it to be, and that all of your gifts were happily received in more than the spirit of that thought-that-counts manner.

As many people are now focused on celebrating the upcoming changing of the year, a few of us are still anticipating Christmas celebrations themselves – after a fashion.

We NEED a Little Christmas . . . TIME!

 

I know – for those of us who celebrate Christmas at all – ever since we were young enough to eagerly await the visit of Santa Claus, most of us have been accustomed to the idea that opening presents happens on the morning of December 25th.

But haven’t we ALREADY made some modifications to that particular plan?

It’s not unusual for families to pick a day where ALL family members will be able to attend.

Blended families frequently have more than ONE unwrapping ceremony – both on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day – and sometimes extending to other days and times as well.

Many of us have long-ago relocated the Christmas present unwrapping ceremony to Christmas Eve, either to make it easier to get out the door for the Christmas service at our places of worship, or to allow us to sleep in on Christmas Day.

I would like to suggest that is going the wrong way, Jose!

Good enough for THREE Wise Men = perfect for ADD/EFD

Legend has it that those three Wise Men following that star-so-bright did NOT arrive with their gifts of gold, frankincense and myhr bright and early on the morning of December 25th.

It took twelve more days and nights for them to get there with the presents: they arrived on January 6th (which marks the beginning of the Mardi Gras Season, for New Orleans aficionados).

Artist Patience Brewster’s Nativity Wise Men

 

Far be it from me to suggest that those Men had a sense of direction or time similar to my own (which is to say, NONE!), but I don’t recall anyone considering them late to the party, do you?

So, not only is there is some serious precedence for taking a bit more time, there are several substantially great reasons for delaying gift exchange.

Let’s take a look at a few of those reasons that is a bit more serious-minded than my last post on the topic.

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From Pinterest thru me to YOU


MerryXmas

The Wisdom of those Three Kings


They didn’t RUSH to get it all done
by December 25th
(Arriving with THEIR Gifts 12 days later!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Hey, if Twelfth Night was good enough for THREE separate men known throughout the world for their wisdom — so much so that they are simply referred to as the Three Wise Men — who are we to question the timing?

If you are struggling with one of the Alphabet Disorders, it only makes sense to adopt their extremely wise idea of moving your own celebration to January 6th as well — or at least to its Eve, the night of the 5th.

I have already, so I can attest to how much nicer it makes everything!

SOME of the benefits of celebrating on Twelfth Night:

  • It gives you an extra 12 days to get ready
  • It allows you to shop the after-Christmas sales
  • It “uncrowds” your holiday calendar, minimizing the conflicts that create so many of those “but I thought you were spending this Christmas with US” in-law hurt feelings, and
  • It still allows you to create your own family traditions free of most family-of-origin pressure.

For those who are concerned about The Reason for the Season getting lost in the commercialism of it all, celebrating the present-fest on Twelfth Night leaves time on Christmas Day for Church-related or charity events, as it gives you a perfect opportunity for some Bible-story education.

Did you catch the part about the extra 12 days to get ready?

Do not try to change the world

For reasons I will never understand, moving the gift-exchange into the future by almost two weeks seems to be as tough a sell as suggesting that adults forgo a gift exchange completely – believe me, I’ve tried.

No matter. In many ways it makes things easier.

When others give you their gifts on Christmas, smile sweetly, almost piously, and say simply, “You will have to wait until 12th Nite for my gift to you – when the Three Wise Men arrived with their gifts for the Baby Jesus.”

  • Reciprocation is ever so much easier than trying to figure everything out ahead of time.
  • Quickly make a mental note to run out to get something for your side of the gift exchange (though an ACTUAL note makes reciprocation a lot more likely to actually happen).  

Not only that, waiting until Twelfth Night helps stretch meager cash-stores, since you will be able to shop the best sales — after Christmas, remember.

How else do you think those “Twelve Days of Christmas” True Love Givers that everybody sings about were able to gift so much?  They shopped the 12 days AFTER Christmas, when golden rings go ON SALE (nobody can afford to pay retail for five of the darned things in today’s economy!)

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The best Christmas tip EVER!


To Reduce Visual Overwhelm
as you Deck your Halls

Store in Plain Sight with this clever trick

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Decking, decking – still decking!

It’s a good thing I have switched to celebrating Twelfth Night – January 6th (12 more days to get it together than if my deadline were Christmas itself). There is NO WAY I’ll have everything ticked, tied and neatened by December 25 — my hall decking has faced a number of serious slowdowns.

  1. FIRST, I had to quickly move everything up off the floor to puppy-proof for the sudden good fortune of locating my wished-for Christmas puppy.
  2. Then, of course, came the day “off” to go get the little guy – and the day after that to recover from staying up all night puppy-proofing, followed by a car trip!
  3. And now that he’s here, I have to WATCH HIM LIKE A HAWK – this dog can find something verboten to put in his tiny mouth even if I’ve just swept or vacuumed.

The decking of halls has taken a decidedly back seat to puppy patrol. Oh well.  If that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes. This little guy is clearly worth it to me!

Celebrate Boxing Day early . . .

No, NOT the day-after-Christmas holiday celebrated by our English-speaking forefathers across the pond (along with, according to Wikipedia, Canada, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, Kenya, South Africa, Guyana, Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica and other Commonwealth nations, as well as Norway, the Netherlands and Sweden!)

I’m talking much bigger boxes for our Boxing Day than those used to gather alms.

Inundated by Shipping Boxes?

If you order anything online (and who doesn’t these days?), you probably hurry to break down the packing/shipping boxes to get them OUT of your house and into the recycling bin.

Don’t.

There’s a much better way to handle them – besides getting things out of the way of a puppy (you’re gonna’ love this!)

WRAP THEM!  (No I am not kidding)

But first, take down as many decorative tchotchkes as possible to clear the decks for Christmas decor.

Not only does Christmas decorating go so much more smoothly if you start with a relatively clean(ish) slate, it looks a lot better to the eye when there aren’t so many items competing for focus.

Pack the items you normally use to “merchandise” your space in a few of the medium to large-ish boxes that arrive carrying internet purchases.

It’s not too late to do it now, by the way – EVEN if your halls are primarily decked already.  Look around to see which non-Christmas items are distracting, and box them up.

NOW wrap those boxes – and tie them up with pretty ribbon and a big bow.

If you have the time, it is EVEN better if it is done in a manner that you can reuse them without rewrapping from year to year.

Even if you are someone who changes your theme or color scheme every Christmas, if you keep the wrapping paper relatively neutral you can always change the look with different ribbon.

Moving right along, you can ALSO use those wrapped boxes to pack up some of the ornaments and other artifacts of Christmas-soon-to-be-past until next year – sans bows, of course.

No mistaking what those boxes contain – even without the bows!

The MAIN thing, however, is to be able to
hide your storage solutions in plain sight.

Put your prettily wrapped boxes around your home to spread a bit of storage-secret Christmas glow from room to room.

Or mass them together in a couple of out of the way corners.  According to Apartment Therapy, “. . . a collection of otherwise basic gift-wrapped presents is made more dramatic and note-worthy when grouped and stacked all together.”

But WAIT – there’s more . . .

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What’s up with Twinkly Lights?


LightsWhy don’t they drive EVERYBODY Crazy?
(Searching for the quiet kind!)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Oh dear, it seems that a bit of Monday grumpiness is about to bleed through my Christmas Happy Christmas series.  But somebody has to stand up and be counted, and I’m up for the job!

Flickering Candlelight is lovely – artificial, not so much

I’m old enough to remember when lights were either ON or off – unless, of course, they were dying.  We replaced lights that flickered post haste.

BubbleLightIn my mind, bubble lights marked the beginning of the “lights that oscillate” fascination. They’re the earliest “moving” lights I can recall, in any case.

In yet another amazingly comprehensive entry, wonderful Wikipedia** says:

“As Christmas lights, bubble lights were very popular during the 1950s through the 1970s, before miniature ‘fairy’ lights became popular.”

Vintage Christmas collectors sometimes use them still, and I believe there is a new version back on the market  for fans of Mid-Century Modern — so it’s not necessary to have been around back in the Dark Ages to have seen bubble lights.  Many people absolutely adore them.

I find the buggers distracting and annoying myself.

**Wikipedia is currently fund-raising, by the way.

They say that if everyone using them donated three measly dollars, their fund raiser would be over in an hour.

Add them to your Christmas Giving list, skip a cup of Starbucks and go give them at least $3.00.

Even if you’ve never explored “the people’s encyclopedia,” think of it as your share of how much I backstop with Wikipedia as I write the articles I gift to you here.

If you click the link to their Bubble article (their name above), the link to their donate page will be at the top of that article until they’ve reached their goal – the minimum they need to run for another year.

If you’re reading this later, don’t think they no longer need the money! The link to their donate page is always available for you on the right sidebar here on ADDandSoMuchMore.com – so go DO that, okay?

Craving warmth

I like a soft glow, and that’s what I try to create in my home — this holiday season and every holiday season. Year-round, in fact, unless I need bright light for a project of some sort. I wouldn’t care much for the flickering of old-fashioned wax candles either if they were as bright as even the dimmest of artificial lighting.

Even the graphic I placed at the top of the page to illustrate the twinkly concept quickly began to give me a headache. I was relieved when it finally scrolled off the page (Fear not, I don’t plan to repeat the experiment).

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ALL I want for Christmas is . . .


A Shih Tzu Puppy
I’ve been so lonely since my little Tabitha died

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

I guess Santa got my letter

Some of you were aware that I finally decided that, apartment ready or not, sharing my life with another Shih Tzu was exactly what the doctor ordered to turn this miserable year around.

I’d love to be able to rescue but, like almost everything else, it’s a bit more complicated in my case.  I am highly allergic to all cats and almost every other breed of dog, so if I am to remain breathing I must make sure the animal I live with is a purebred Shih Tzu.

Source: officialshihtzuclub.com

Source: officialshihtzuclub.com

The very idea of buying a dog activates my own black and white thinking – in spades!

After much investigation, I finally found a breeder I trusted, put a deposit down before making final payment on one of the most adorable little puppies I’ve ever seen.  I was just about to hop on a plane to go get the little guy when everything blew up in my face.

Won’t anything ever go right again? was my reaction,
tears of disappointment streaming down my face.

If you’ve been following along since the gang mugging, resulting medical drama, forced move, FOUR repeats of iPhone failure, the auction where everything in my rented storage space was sold after they couldn’t reach me by phone, etc. – this year alone - you’ll understand that was not quite the over-reaction it might otherwise seem to be.

Getting back on the horse

On the recommendation of Lynn Fontaine, the wonderful and spiritually generous original breeder, I spoke with Twana of Pe-Kae Treasures – a breeder she had known for quite a while (and only a day trip away by car).

SO . . . while this article auto-posts, Peggy Ramundo and I are in her car and on our way to pick up my little Christmas puppy.

Oh yes, there really IS a Santa Claus!

ShihTzu in car

Source: officialshihtzuclub.com

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Wanna’ see a photo of HIM?

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Neuroflexyn: BUYER BEWARE


Lack of information vs. marketing is suspicious
Read with your brain engaged

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
from the Non-Pharm Alternatives Series

UPDATE 1/9/15: VERY early this morning, I received an interesting email from a member of the Neuroflexin organization in response to this article.

I have replied, seeking their permission to post it online – so say tuned as I check them out further.

BY THE WAY:  It was respectful and seemingly concerned about the sensationalism around the web – which they say they do not condone or promote.  Bodes well, huh?

#2 UPDATE – 1/14/15: They have responded with permission – to be fair, I will put it in a new post with a new (and more hopeful) title, rather than adding it in a comment to a post that begins with doubts.
 — Link now at the bottom of this article in Related Content —

Preliminary findings: short and not so sweet

For those of us with Executive Functioning Dysregulation issues [EFD], a new product on the performance enhancement market touted as the Viagra for the Brain sounds like a nootropic answer to a prayer.

You may have heard about it as EVO, “the Limitless Pill” (E-Huperzine) – credited as the genesis of the idea for the film. The buzz about Neuroflexyn increased rapidly after Limitless became a Box Office smash hit and publicly referenced Neuroflexyn as its inspiration.

Here’s what the folks at smartSMARTER have to say about the product in their introduction to a clearly marked ADVERTISEMENT (designed nonetheless to look like something else):

We expose the truth behind a ground-breaking pill that has many experts furious. Studies have revealed it boosts brain power by up to 89.2%, sharpens your mind and sky-rockets your energy levels. With such overwhelming evidence and media mention, the question is not whether the pill works, but whether it should be legal.

EF_pieChart_brainToo good to be true?

A plethora of marketing-posing-as-information articles make some pretty amazing claims about the benefits of Neuroflexyn. I’ll admit that I was tempted to purchase as I read them – which is what launched me on the informational research trail.

Product marketing swears that Neuroflexyn has been “proven” to significantly increase IQ as it enhances memory, concentration, intentional focus — productivity practically across the board, in fact.

In addition, again according to their marketing, this new “supplement” dramatically increases cognition and intelligence with NO reported side effects.

Ahem! As you may already be aware, the FDA does not currently regulate supplements. Whether or not that is ultimately a good thing or turns out to be a lousy way to attempt to protect the public, it does mean that this new product currently flies beneath FDA radar.

The manufacturer can pretty much claim anything they want
in their attempt to sell their product.

It is up to us to determine how ethical they appear to be, in contrast to any eagerness to part us from our wallets by any means available, in service of corporate profitability.

Not to seem to have joined some Royal Society of Skeptics, my Boomer lifetime of experience has taught me that whenever something sounds too good to be true, it usually is (not true, that is).

NEXT year’s stocking stuffer, maybe

Stocking

Before any of YOU put any of your hard-earned Christmas cash into a product trial – as a gift or for yourself – take a few moments to read what I have to say about why you might want to wait until more results are in.

In addition to other reasons I’m skeptical, I always advise caution any time product marketing attempts to manipulate us into buying — rather than enticing us into that action with information designed to help us to come to a decision.

I DO NOT Heart Scare Tactics

It seems to be a popular “ask for the sale” approach to attempt to sweeten response rate with text urging readers to take hasty action for fear of losing some advantage or opportunity if they take a day or more to think things over or investigate other options.

Neuroflexyn’s marketing game-plan seems to be to set up “Big Pharma” as the bogey-man, supposedly intent on shutting down Neuroflexyn production because it is “competition” for the profitability of their pharmaceutical products.

Uh-huh – so buy now or regret it when
Neuroflexyn is taken off the market?

I guess that implies that one must seriously stock up from the very beginning – just in case it really does work – to ensure access to a continued supply during the upcoming fight for manufacturing rights.  Let’s all go get right on it, then!

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ADD and Christmas too!


An Overwhelming Season for SO Many
(WAY too many To-dos in SO many categories for one short month)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

How does ANYBODY fit everything in?

Even the neurotypical crowd gets a bit of a taste of ADD/EFD overwhelm as Christmas rapidly approaches — especially those who just went overboard on the Thanksgiving extravaganza.

But those of us who have brains that are ALREADY struggling to manage life’s ordinary details can easily go down with Santa’s ship – turning what could be a terrific break from the everyday struggles into the cluttered ADD/EFD version of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

So Much to Decorate – so little time!

The days when Christmas decor was limited, essentially, to hanging a few stockings and trimming a tree seem to have disappeared like Brigadoon.

NOT that I’m actually complaining about that, understand.
I would have invented “Deck the Halls” if somebody hadn’t beaten me to it.

But even if I had “start early” genes in my DNA, to avoid public censure one really must wait to start displaying Christmas-y items until the season-long summer heat wave has subsided and the autumn leaves have had their 15 minutes of fame (unless one runs a Christmas Shop, which I’ve actually considered – for exactly that reason!).

In the minds of most people, the day after Halloween seems to be an acceptable — albeit incredibly EARLY — start-date for decking  (though I can’t, for the life of me, understand their objections to a larger buffer as a running start!)

Pinterest helps, of course – sort of

Nobody seems to object or poke too much fun at Christmas PINS – even long before Halloween costumes have become the only vision in the heads of little kids everywhere.

I began pinning inspiration images quite early this year, hoping they would help me develop a realistic game plan for Christmas AS I organized my new digs following my recent move.

Oops – THAT little “assist” has now become part of the problem.
I mean, what ADDer needs help dreaming up new things to do?

A woman who already has FOUR full-sized trees with as many decorating themes (and several more table-tops and minis) has NO business trying to remember to look for a thrift-store colander to spray-paint red as stand for her “visions of sugarplums” kitchen tree.

She shows even less sanity pinning a link to a tutorial on how to make a Christmas tree from a tomato cage.

Does that matter?  NOT ONE WHIT. See the problem?

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Happy Belated Sinterklaas! December 5


Good Little Dutch Girls & Boys
found presents in their wooden shoes Friday night

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

click image for source

A bit of explanation

From the analysis of the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas on the [mostly Dutch-language] blog of Samhildanach, a Dutch religious studies scholar says:

click image for source (in Dutch)

“Sinterklaas is the festival of St. Nicholas of Myra . . . [which is surrounded by] a lot of mythology . . . although little of that is commonly known.

This saint is portrayed as a venerable man in a red and gold bishop’s gown . . . Principally, the festival is meant for young children to around the age of eight.

The young . . . believe that Sinterklaas lives in Spain [and] visits the Netherlands every year in a steam ship, accompanied by his helpers, the dark-skinned Zwarte Pieten ‘Black Petes’, dressed in frivolous colours, to offer presents to all [well-behaved] children.

Those [who] have been naughty risk [being] caned by Zwarte Piet, or in extreme cases, [being] forced in the sack and taken back to Spain.”

The article goes on to explain that the period of Sinterklaas begins at some point in November every year – a national, televised event when St. Nicholas of Myra arrives at the dock, disembarking with his white horse and his attendant(s).

“From this moment on, the children [may] put down their shoes in front of the hearth. [. . .] The morning after, a small present will be in their shoes.

The festival is mainly celebrated in the Netherlands, but there are some local variations to be found in Belgium and Germany, encompassing differentiated local traditions.”
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Christmas Happy Christmas


Oh the weather outside’s not frightful
(But inside it’s about to get delightful)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

WinterSnowMartin

A Quick Reminder

From now until Twelfth Night – January 6th, when any sensible ADDer plans to celebrate the big present fest – I am going to replace the Monday Grumpy Monday series with Christmas Happy Christmas.

My regular Wednesday articles will all probably have a “getting ready for the upcoming holidays” theme as well.

This is Monday replacement #1.

Tannenbauming

Since I leave the trees up for so long (yes, trees – plural), there is no way any live tree would make it through the length of my particular holiday season.

Every single one would be a stick, long before I was ready to take it down — surrounded by a carpet of needles that I would track all over the house.

So I am especially grateful that artificial trees have become so realistic-looking in the last decade or so.  Not that it would really matter — eventually.

By the time I cover them with years and years of ornaments, it’s difficult to tell what’s underneath!

But I try to put my trees up very early and decorate as I find dribs and drabs of time — so I really like them to look as real as possible during the period they are comparatively naked.

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A Visit from St. What’s-his-Name


Source: click graphic

ALL Sources: click graphics

ADD and Christmas Too
“Reprint” of something wonderful from years ago

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

One of my FAVORITE Presents

Janine Baker, one of my long-time best friends, is one of the most fabulously creative people I know. Although she does not have ADD herself, she GETS it, “thanks” to an up-close-and-personal relationship with me (and the fact that she was an early graduate of my ADD Coach Training),!

She also gives some of the very best presents, so when I tell you that this poem she wrote many years ago for my first website is among my top favs, understand that it has some stiff competition.

She gifted me the copyright along with the poem, so I own all rights to it.

If you share it (and I hope you WILL), you must provide a link back to this post and credit both sources below.  (It is slated for inclusion in an upcoming ADD Anthology, so don’t drop out “ownership”  and link or things might get legal, okay?)

AND NOW . . . moving right along to one of the most clever of the versions of the rewriting of Clemens’ original — ESPECIALLY for ADDers and ADD Coaches!

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Happy Thanksgiving – make way for Christmas


Sorry to be so Late
(The stores have been ready since September)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Fair warning: This is not going to be a rant about the season.

Grab a drink (you’re likely to need one)

Turkey_Drinks

Anyone who knows me, even a little, will attest to the fact that I’m a card-carrying Christmas ELF – a regular Emmy Lou Who**.

I simply LOVE Christmas – the whole Christmas season (“Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason”**)

-————
**Both from How the Grinch Stole Christmas
by Theodor “Dr. Seuss” Geisel

I start thinking about digging out my humongous collection of Christmas CDs of ALL types the very first day the horrid summer heat wave shows signs of dipping below 80.

I ESPECIALLY love Christmas decorations.

I like to deck the halls with a-whole-lot-more than boughs of holly!

I’m big on trees and wreaths and stockings, and candles and garlands, and Santas, sleighs and reindeer – and nutcrackers, and sugar plums — and Byers Choice Carolers (which I have been collecting since before anyone else even knew who Joyce Byers was!)

Carolers

click image for source

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Below the Radar Make-Wrong


I am NOT amused
- with a Top Ten List of Types of Criticism
that I never want to hear AGAIN –

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Mean Come-backs I wish I could have said

Criticism in all its forms seldom works as designed.  Instead of helping us make better choices, criticism makes us defensive – and then we have to figure out how to respond.

I have never been able to respond very well in the moment – my startle response closes most of the pathways that might grant me access to what is otherwise a pretty fine brain.

source: http://www.1099.com/c/co/gw/na/naustin029.html
source: http://www.1099.com/c/co/gw/na/naustin029.html

Why are they voting on MY life?

When slapped across the face with a negative comment, especially one that is little more than a vehicle for make-wrong, I seem to struggle to come up with even a one sentence response — except a mean one, of course, which I reject out of hand.  Tit for tat has never been my style.

Since I’m not a fan of the eye-for-an-eye, tooth for a tooth manner of doing life, which leads only to a world filled with the blind and toothless, it often feels like I have to choice but to suffer the sting in silence.

Only later, as negative comments echo and RE-echo, do I dream of a million ways I could have responded without violating my core value of kindness.

Wouldn’t you think that, by now, I’d have an arsenal of come-backs to use the next time somebody makes me wrong?  Nope – because most of life’s criticism comes disguised as something else.

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Do you love THIS Raymond?


Everybody Loves Raymond

(from an upcoming book, The Impulsivity Rundown © - all rights reserved)

by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC
Part of The Challenges Inventory™ Series

It’s impossible to keep a straight face around Raymond – he can make anybody laugh! Where does he come up with all the craziness that comes out of his mouth?

The sky’s the limit for this guy — TONS of potential — they say he really should be a stand up comic or a talk show host. He’d make a million.

People would pay just to hear him laugh.  Really.  He is the essence of fun.

He’s smart, can DO practically anything, and has tried to do practically everything.  He is just the nicest guy you’d ever wanna’ meet.

He got so many responses to his profile on “Find Your Soul-mate” he barely had time to meet any of them because of the hours and hours he spent following up online. Most of the dates he did make started out badly when he was so darned LATE, but Ray was able to turn things around (that date, anyway).

Talk about selling snow to Eskimos — Ray wrote the book!  He seems to be able to talk anybody into ANYthing (as long as they don’t get to know him too well!)

Even his exes find it hard to find a bad thing to say about the guy.  Except that, Nobody could live with him.  He’d drive anybody crazy.”

That’s a real shame, too, because Raymond would really like to find his soul mate . . .  and his ideal job . . .  and a group of friends that isn’t always trying to change him in a million little ways (or help him get into hot water).

  • He has no idea how he keeps messing up one good relationship after another.
  • He’s always surprised when he finds out that his job is on the line . . . again.
  • He doesn’t understand why his friends and family are so angry;
    he said he was sorry. And he really IS, every single time
    even when he doesn’t really understand exactly what he DID.

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Spam or Internet Marketing – which is worse?


Blatant Narcissists BOTH
Get a clue – most of us HATE what you’re doing
(if that matters to you at all)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

How do I hate thee, let me count the ways

Oh, never mind – I’m sure I’d run out of room before I ran out of steam.

At the risk of sounding clearly black and white, I can’t help but wonder about the intent of either the spammers OR the Internet Marketers, but at least the spammers don’t pretend to be much of anything else.

Internet Marketers, for the most part, seem hell-bent on manipulating us into believing that they are providing an eagerly awaited service that, only incidentally, employs the flavor-of-the-moment formulaic approach designed to increase SEO (“Search Engine Optimization,” translated into dollars).

I wish I could force every single one of them into spending as much time as they have stolen from my life considering the following  questions seriously:

  • Is EVERYTHING about what you want, regardless of how it impacts anybody else?
  • Has EVERYTHING become merely a numbers game to you, designed to stuff your personal pockets (or those of your company or organization)?
  • Do you have any respect AT ALL for those at the effect of your tactics – beyond their value as one of the numbers in your game?

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I am NOT a Lab Rat!


MonGrumpHeadSince people can TALK –
how about asking us?

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Not my first Rodeo

I have written about my love/hate relationship with science before and I’m sure I will again.

I think I did a fairly lousy job of hiding the fact that I was more than a little disgruntled about what I call “the Blind Men and the Elephant problem” the last time I mentioned it - but all bets are off on Monday Grumpy Monday!

I’ve been singin’ this song for over 20 years now, and I’ll keep singin’ this song until things change or until I die, whichever comes first — hoping that somebody somewhere will read with a brain engaged and get my point.

I’m R-E-A-L-L-Y grumpy about the negative impact on OUR lives of their confirmation bias.

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Pitiful Party Lines & Flying Monkeys


MonGrumpHead“Following the rules” is
probably doing it wrong

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

Question Authority

Source: click image

This is not about politics or voting, but I have to start by telling you this:

a life-long grump gets activated every single election period, when politicians rally to regurgitate party line soundbites — on BOTH sides! 

It’s obnoxious.

I am incredulous that we don’t rally en masse to call them on it.

I am dismayed that people continue to vote for these idiots with their formulaic approach to getting elected and staying in office – simply because we have so little choice otherwise.

I really hate it the minute that things get nasty: when they attack by closing ranks to dig in and defend party politics after somebody says or does something stupid - on EITHER side.

That’s NOT the topic of THIS grump, however.

The nasty antics of politicians merely prime my pump and start my engine.

Every single election period, my disgruntlement quickly shifts focus to a more important target for those of us with Executive Functioning struggles: doctors and scientists.

I can’t help it – it’s just the way my brain works.

They are not supposed to be political animals, yet almost ALL of them seem to have pledged allegiance to their equivalent of that “thin blue line” so prevalent on those cop shows we watch like soap operas.

Hippocratic

Doctors are supposedly sworn to, first, do no harm.

It seems to me that they must somehow be able to pretend that allowing illogical, or out-of integrity actions of colleagues slide by without censure is not harmful to their patients.

They are wrong.

Scientists are purported to be seekers of truth — it’s supposedly a foundational concept of the scientific method.

Yet in social constructs where group identification runs rampant, they seem to band together against ideas that are “inconsistent with the current body of knowledge in the field.”

2Red_RoverTo me, they seem like a bunch of playground bullies in a mean game of Red Rover.  And it holds science back for YEARS.

That, too, is causes harm: many struggle-on needlessly
as groundbreaking work languishes for years.

I have been privy to far too many examples of the herd dynamic in my career.  So every time I hear of a new example, I get my grump on practically immediately anymore.

Don’t forget that you can always check out the sidebar for a reminder
of how links work on this site, they’re subtle (scroll UP for it) ==>

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