A Bunch of Words about FIT – Part 1

I Don’t Tweet, Don’t Ask Me

You can’t Tweet a novel.

Neither can you expand on a concept effectively when you are limited to a handful of characters barely greater than the number of tiles you might draw in the average game of Scrabble!

Since “profound relating” is at the very top of my personal list of Core Values, I find “Twitter expectations” more than a little unsettling — especially when they are shoved down my throat as THE way to reach your clients (or anyone else!)

I have been accused of a lot of things in my life,
but “brief” was never one of them.

As a result, most of MY students and clients are more likely to appreciate something with a little meat on its bones than to extol the virtues of “The Cliff Notes approach to idea dissemination.”

Some of us LIKE words.  Most of us who like words really don’t care much for “brief.”  It’s a matter of perspective and personal preference, not an addendum to Robert’s Rules of Order.  So when I hear apologies for the length of a post on blog after blog, I want to weep.

For those of us in love with language, LESS is simply … well, less!

It’s a matter of FIT.  And whether you are coach, client, or both, the concept of FIT is probably THE single most important coaching concept underlying coaching success.

FIT-based Coaching

There is a concept in ADD Coaching – all coaching, actually – that stands conventional “marketing” on its ear: the concept of FIT.  Given relatively commensurate skills, client/coach FIT is the single most important predictor of success.  If a coach doesn’t match your needs, it matters not how skilled they are.

Said another way, when you’re looking for a brick layer,
don’t expect a stone mason to really do it for you.

What IS Fit?

“Fit” is that seemingly intangible quality that results in a feeling of affinity for one person where another (perhaps with equal qualifications) leaves you feeling that something is not quite right.

Your first “best friend” was undoubtedly a choice based on fit, as is a choice of a good life-partner

A wife might have trouble explaining exactly what made her decide to marry her husband instead of some other man, one who was interesting enough to date for a while, perhaps, but not someone with whom she wanted to grow old.

She may well be able to make up a detailed list of what was “right” with one and “wrong” with the other but, chemistry aside, more than likely it was simply because the “fit” was right with the man she chose.

It’s easier to describe LACK of FIT.

Even if you are speaking to the most knowledgeable coaches in the history of coaching, if they make YOU feel uneasy, ashamed or stupid, the fit is CLEARLY off.

On a seemingly subtler level, if you find yourself reluctant to tell some coaches the whole truth because you just aren’t sure if they can hear it, be willing to work with you, and stay on your side instead of beating you up with a stick fashioned from their values, keep looking — BAD FIT!

So, even though almost all potential clients are a LITTLE reticent at first, the right coach for you will respond to your “test disclosures” in a way that makes YOU feel increasingly more comfortable, even if you feel a little foolish sharing some of your experiences or questions.

Although some coaches will be better at it than others (true in any field with any skill), all comprehensively-trained coaches have experience listening for signs of reticence or discomfort, and have studied listening and languaging techniques designed to make clients feel SAFE exposing themselves and their lives.

Still, you will find some coaches just work better for YOU.  You want to work with one of those!

That’s FIT! 

• It’s a bit hard to explain, but relatively easy to recognize once you find it.
• I drafted this series, however, because there’s a lot more to fit than “warm fuzzies,” so stay tuned!

But here’s the kicker:
FIT is an equal opportunity concept – it works in both directions

In point of fact, whenever coaches pretzel themselves in an attempt to be all coaches to all clients, nothing good comes from it.  The first person who MUST make sure the fit is not off for them is the coach.

Said another way, the customer is RARELY EVER RIGHT
if they’re the wrong customer.

(FIT is *just* as important, by the way, between coach and training as between client and coach, so expand your frame to be able to apply the content and concepts of this series to your training decisions.)

Because this series has been written primarily for potential clients looking at potential ADD Coaches, FOR NOW, that’s all I’m going to say about FIT from the coach’s point of view.

Check back for an article in the Mentor Series of Posts for the articles that will unpack the concept for you coaches.

As always, whether you are reading as client or coach, if you want notification of articles as they become available,  give your name to the nice form near the top of the long, skinny column to your right.
STRICT no-Spam policy!

Related articles on THIS site:

From the FIT series:

• A Bunch of Words About Fit – Part 1
• Shopper’s Syndrome and FIT – Part 2
• Coaches, Dentists, & FIT – Part 3
• Trusting YOUR Instincts about FIT – Part 4
• Does the Fee Fit – Part 5

Related Coaching Articles:

• ABOUT Values & The Goose Story
• Distinctions: Coaching vs.Therapy
• The ADD-ADHD Coachablity Index™
• What to Talk About in Your Coaching Call

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